Fearing Loneliness, Fearing Love
by cranberrie-cat
Summary: Ginny leaves the wizarding world after the War, and now she lives like a muggle with the name Evelyn Flynn. Harry believes that Ginny is dead and don't care about life anymore. But what happens when he meets Ev and falls for her, not knowing who she is?
1. Prologue: One of Us is Gonna Die Young

**Prologue: One of us is Gonna Die Young**

_I wanna hold you but you're out of reach,  
somewhere searching for your inner peace.  
I'm just looking for a little squeeze,  
face to face and cheek to cheek._

_It's in your blood but not in mine,  
what's in your blood is in my mind.  
Something's broken in the way we smile,  
It is within us all the time._

_- "One of Us is Gonna Die Young" by the Ark_

"Why can't you ever do as you're told?" His voice was soft and tender. He was looking desperately at her, begging her to just let it be, to let him go. But she wouldn't. She was just as tired as him, having the same row for the hundred and seventh time, but she didn't budge. She was going mental in this house, and she needed somebody to understand that if she wasn't allowed to get out of here for some time, she would find a way of her own out of here.

Because of Snape's betrayal, the Order had to find new Headquarters. Nine bloody, fucking months had she been locked in this boring, old farm, being told that it was for her own good. To hell it was. Sometimes Order members showed up to a meeting or something, but she didn't care really. The most exciting thing that ever happened was when Tonks or Kingsley visited. Seeing as Hogwarts had closed, they had taken the responsibility teaching her to defend herself. Both of them were quite impressed with how talented she was, but they still wouldn't let her fight.

Harry, Ron and Hermione spent most of their time here at the Headquarters, but they often locked themselves into a room and made plans for the next time they would go after one of the lost pieces of Voldemort's soul. She didn't see them very much, at least not Ron or Hermione. Harry was another story. He had stopped sleeping in his own bed. Every evening when the others were asleep he would sneak into her room instead. Her mother would have kittens if she found out, but she never did. Harry used his invisibility cloak to get from his room to hers, and he always left early in the morning. What they did during the nights wasn't so very innocent either. Harry had never been the guy to talk about his feelings, but during these times of war it was too much for him to hold in, so instead of telling her, he showed her his feelings. When they had sex it was as if there were no bars or rules keeping them from each other, just their own lust and passion making its own little word, protecting them from the rest of the world. Harry had once told her after their lovemaking that if it wasn't for her, he would have given up months ago, and if he gave up, he would be killed. All the pain, anxiety and grief he felt during his search for the Horcruxes would just let go when he saw her. He used to call her his lifesaver, that he owed her everything. Between them there always was another kind of understanding, something that made the need to speak unnecessary. They somehow just knew what the other one was thinking or feeling, when they needed company because their demons were getting to close.

But right now, Ginny couldn't sense anything of the connection between them. Even though she was positive that Harry knew exactly how much she was suffering from being left out, he wouldn't let her join the fights. He, Ron and Hermione had been out on one of their usual trips yesterday, searching for clues to find the remaining Horcruxes, when there had been an attack on a muggle village. She had found out where it was, and had immediately apparated over there (during these war times, the Ministry had ordered that every person over fifteen should learn to apparate). At the village, it was absolutely chaos. Muggles were running around in the streets screaming as Death Eaters killed them one after the other. Ginny found a little boy hiding behind a dustbin, shaking with fear. She stood in front of the dustbin, preventing anybody coming near him. She actually stunned three Death Eaters who didn't seem to find a girl like her interesting. The Death Eaters left quite soon when they noticed that they were outnumbered. When it was over, her father caught her when she was helping the little boy find his mother. Even though she only had some scratches, he became furious seeing her there and immediately apparated her back to the farm. Her mother must have found out somehow, because when she came home from the village she was purple in the face and all she could stutter was that she should go up to her room, and not come out until she promised she wouldn't ever do it again. So here she was in her room, refusing to apologize. Harry, Ron and Hermione came home that morning and of course somebody told them what she had done before they even had time to take off their clothes. Harry came bursting into her room with his cloak on. Not that she really cared about his cloak, she was looking more at his face which featured some kind of mixture of fear, anger and pride. He screamed at her for ten whole minutes while she just sat calmly on her bed, waiting for him to let her talk.

"Why can't I do as I'm told? Because people never tell me anything, Harry! People expect me to sit here and do nothing, when everyone I know is risking their lives and I have no idea what they're even fighting for!" The words left her mouth sharper and more accusing than she meant for, but she didn't care. Right now all she wanted was for him to understand, to let her be with him. It was the only thing she asked of him, but the only thing he refused to give her.

"Ginny, my father's dead, my mother, Cedric, Sirius and Dumbledore. Do you think I'll just let Voldemort take you? You know that you're the reason I keep searching. All I want is a normal happy life with you, without Voldemort. The reason I'm killing Voldemort is not only for revenge, but also so that you and I can finally be together. You're all I want, Gin." She couldn't help but wonder why he would always confess his love for her when they were arguing, but not so often when they were having a normal conversation.

"You don't get it do you? How am I supposed to share your life, when I don't even know what you've gone through? It feels like I barely know you lately, Harry, you're completely into your own world. I can't reach you anymore. I can't help you if I can't reach you, and I can't reach you if I don't know what you're going through and you're keeping me from fighting by your side." The tears were threatening behind her eyelashes, but she wouldn't let him see them. She wouldn't let him hurt her anymore. She had been willing to pay a high price to be with him, but she felt that now, the price was becoming too high. She couldn't give everything up for him anymore.

"But if you die Ginny, you won't get anything. You will just die, nobody will be able to love you anymore. You'll be leaving pain behind. And death. Without you, I'll die too. If all my friends but you die, I'll be able to continue because I have you. But if you died, only you, I'd collapse and break. I probably wouldn't try to kill myself, but I wouldn't be able to get up in the mornings, eat and go to work. I simply can't live without you, Gin. I don't fear my own death, but I fear yours." He was looking desperately now. Trying to reach her, begging her to understand that she needed to keep herself safe. She could feel him now. It's been weeks since she felt him this way. She closed her eyes, but she still knew that his chest was rising from his rapid breaths, that he was leaning against her table and had his back turned half away from her, that he was reaching for her. Maybe there was a chance after all, maybe he would understand as he used to. Maybe they could have the relationship they used to have where only they existed. Maybe they could, after all.

"Harry, just let me in. That's all I want, to be with you. Being locked up in this house kills me, not being together with you. You've been through this yourself, Harry, and you hated it. You know I feel just the same, why can't you let me join you?" He had been looking out her window, now he turned his head to her. As his eyes set on hers, she felt a cold pressure spread through her body, a lightning of loss. She had lost him. Again. He had backed into his own body, letting her stand alone without his connection. Apparently she had said the wrong thing, gone too far. He wasn't going to let her go with him this time either.

"You know I can't do that, Ginny. Don't try to talk me into it, it will only make it worse. You're too precious to me. I can't lose you." He straightened himself and walked towards the door. When he went past her, he stopped for a second and stroked his finger along her cheekbone with a look of pure sadness across his face. Then he continued to the door and left the room without looking at her again.

She stood in the same position as he left her, stroking her cheek with her left middle finger where he had just touched her. She knew what his touch had meant. He knew, just like her, that they were falling apart. The war had stolen their love. She knew that he thought a world without Voldemort could mend their love. That was what he meant when he said that he would kill Voldemort so that they could be together again. It hadn't anything to do with her safety, but with her loneliness in this house.

Suddenly, all the tears she had been hiding behind her eyes began to fall. From her eyes to her cheek, to her chin and then falling down on her chest. Everything inside her that was Harry poured out of her eyes. He was leaving her now. She felt that this row would be one of the last they would ever have. She had been preparing for this for more than a month, but she never really wanted to believe it. Their love wouldn't be for eternity. They wouldn't live so long together that they stopped being two individuals, but one. They wouldn't see their common dreams unfold before them. They wouldn't be anything. She had lived with only one wish, to have him. But the world took him away from her. The world needed him to rescue it, killing her in the process.

She sank down to the floor, but now she got up and walked to the window. Outside, the sky was a greyish blue, as if the night didn't want to let go. As if it begged to stay a bit longer. The grass was billowing in waves because of the rapid wind. From somewhere far away, she heard a car accelerate and drive away. She sighed. She knew that the moment where Harry would destroy Voldemort was approaching. She could feel it in every fibre of her body. Harry would kill him, she never doubted that. Voldemort was too crazy and unloved to kill something as beautiful as Harry. Harry would kill him, the world would mourn the loss of friends and family members, but then they would worship Harry as their hero and saviour. The world would stand up again and continue to live. But not Ginny. She already knew that this war would kill her. If not literally, at least physically. Harry would destroy Voldemort and think that now he could finally have the life he always dreamt about. But he would be wrong. The sad story was that Ginevra Molly Weasley, the only girl Harry Potter would ever love, wouldn't be there with him. She would leave him, slip away. Ginny didn't want to leave him, to share a life with him was her most precious dream, but it had cost her so much to stay with him. It wasn't his fault, but Tom's. Everything was Tom's fault.

A bit more than half a year ago, Tom had suddenly begun to talk to her again. Through her head. She had panicked at first, but then she understood that Tom couldn't hurt her. Voldemort had somehow found a way back to her, some old connection from the Chamber, but he couldn't posses her like before or find out things that she knew. He was imprisoned in a little part of her mind, where he couldn't reach her thoughts. He couldn't find out secrets she knew, like where the Order were hiding or what Harry was up to. Tom only showed up from time to time to have a little chat.

_"Thinking about me are you, little Ginevra?"_ Typical, she thought. He appeared just when she was thinking about him.

_"You know, Ginevra, I don't think it will be as hard convincing you to love me as you have stated. You seem to think about me quite often, don't you? Tired of Potter, maybe?"_ His voice was cold as always. She didn't want to speak to him now, didn't want him to notice how broken she was.

_"Go away!"_ It sounded childish and stupid, she knew, but she really couldn't care about him right now. He couldn't hurt her, he was harmless.

_"That wasn't very nice, Ginevra. Hasn't your stupid mother taught you to be polite to your future lover? If you're not nice to me, I might have to punish you later."_

_"You will keep on dreaming your whole life, Tom, you'll never get you hands on me."_ He laughed his odd, cold laugh again. The sound echoed throughout her whole head.

_"Won't you ever understand? I get what I want, Ginevra, and I want you. And don't think I want you because of who you are, even if I can confess that I think you have a rare beauty. The only reason for me wanting you is so that I can have something Potter wants. There is nothing more arousing than the thought of ravishing Potter's girl."_ She noticed that he actually became excited when he spoke. She felt a sickness in her stomach at the thought of having sex with him.

_"Oh, don't worry, Ginevra, I will make you want me. I will make you beg me to make love to you, I will make you scream my name when you come. You won't ever want to have Potter again after you have tasted me."_ She couldn't help that she became a bit uneasy by what he said. To have sex with him was one thing, wanting him to have sex with her was something completely different.

_"Harry will kill you. I will never love anybody but him, no matter how hard you try."_

_"You're so naïve, Ginevra. Weren't you right now thinking about how the two of you are falling apart? How your love is fading? You're so stupid at times. Love won't save you, it will kill you. It makes you weak. Just look at yourself, you're crying over a stupid little boy who thinks he can change the world, who thinks he can compare his powers to mine. It's love that caused that, Ginevra, love, pathetic little love for Potter makes you weak. With me, you will never experience weakness again."_ She tried to keep him out of her head, she didn't want to hear his words. She didn't want to think about how right he was about Harry. They didn't have anything anymore. They were completely alone. Tears poured out of her eyes again, like a flood of desperation. No matter how hard she ever tried, she couldn't be angry at Harry. It was her own fault, she had tried to reach him when he didn't want her to, and so he pushed her away from him. It was all her fault.

_"You know, there actually was a time when I was troubled about what he could do. When he was close to you, his powers seemed to be awfully high. I actually feared that he would be the only one to have powers enough to kill me. But then you began to slip away from him and immediately he seemed weaker. I will thank you some day, Ginevra. Because of you, I will be able to kill him."_ If Ginny had been in a normal condition she would have ignored him, but right now she was too sore and tender to do so. She knew that what he said was true, she knew that she had hurt Harry. Maybe even killed him. She couldn't stand it any longer, she fell to the floor without caring how much it hurt. She wanted to hurt, wanted to do something for Harry one last time. She had killed him. She had killed Harry. Her selfish behaviour had weakened his powers and now there was a chance that he wouldn't be able to finish off Voldemort. She never wanted to see anybody again, she wanted to die right then.

Suddenly, it was as if a knife cut right through her head. Pictures began to flash through her mind, pictures from her memories. She saw the old farm that had become the new Headquarters of the Order, where she was temporarily living along with Harry, Ron, Hermione and her mum and dad. She saw Harry, Ron and Hermione come home late one night, wounded and tired. She saw herself pressed to the door of the dining room, trying to hear what was said during the Order meeting. She saw the signpost in front of the farm where it said: Blue Hill's Farm (she never understood why the farm was named Blue Hill's Farm. She couldn't notice any hill nearby and certainly not a blue hill). She saw the view from her window, the trees, the road and the never-ending fields. Then, as fast as it happened, it was over.

"_Thank you, Ginevra. I never really believed that I could get information from you, you seemed to be so strong. But alas, love can make us all go weak. Remember what I said, Ginevra. I will come on a little visit to your house before the sun sets, and I will take all my friends with me. And believe me, I will forever take Potter away from you. He will never bother you again."_ Then he was gone.

She sat still for some seconds. Then she realised what just happened, Tom had broken through her barriers. She had been broken and feeling so small, he had used it to his advantage to get information.

"Shit," She thought, "He knows! He knows where the Order is hiding, he knows where Harry is! And he's coming to kill him. To kill Harry." She scrambled up to her feet and rushed over to the door. Harry had forgotten to put a locking charm on the door when he left, so she threw it open and ran down the stairs. She stopped outside the dining room door. She could hear voices from the inside, probably talking about something she wasn't allowed to know about. She only hesitated a second before she pushed the door open. Every face in the room turned to her as she entered the room. On a couch near the fire sat Harry, Ron and Remus. Hermione was standing in front of the fire. Her parents, Tonks, Kingsley, Professor McGonagall, Moody and maybe ten other Order members she only had seen once or twice were scattered around the room.

"I told you to stay in your room! You're not allowed to come out, even less come bursting in like this when Hermione is giving us an important report on their latest mission! Go back to your room, immediately!" Her mother rose from her chair and grabbed her arm, beginning to drag her out the door.

"No, wait Mum! I have something important to say, more important than what Hermione's saying." She struggled to get out of her mother's grip, but that was as near to impossible as you could ever get.

"Not only are you disobedient, you're rude too! What did I do wrong when I raised you, Ginevra?" Ginny could tell that her mother still was fuming over what happened yesterday, but she had no time to cope with that now, she knew that the information she held was invaluable. There was a problem though. Her family didn't know anything about her connection with Tom, she had been slightly ashamed when she found out he was still inside her. As the coward she was, she only told Harry about it, seeing as it was useless to not tell Harry about something she knew. He always knew when she was hiding something, just as she did with him. Desperately, she turned to Harry. She concentrated for a few seconds and then whispered in Parseltongue:

_"He's coming, Harry. Tom broke through my barriers and found out about our location. He said…he said he'll be here before the night arrives…to kill you."_

-----------------------

The latest hours were a blur of hexes and curses, dodging, running and fighting. The only thing she could remember clearly was Tom's voice in the back of her head. Teasing, screaming, laughing, telling her how he was going to kill Harry. If it wasn't for the fear that he would die, she would probably be dead by now. The only thing that kept her from giving up was the thought of finding Harry, to see that he was safe. She knew that this war had killed her, but she still loved him somehow.

Everybody had been too busy preparing themselves that they didn't notice or care when she slipped out of the house to join the fight. She had been doing surprisingly well. Apart from a nasty cut on her left arm, she only had some bruises and small cuts. Things began to calm down now, maybe she could sneak away and find Harry? There was a small forest nearby, and without anybody seeing her, she disappeared into the darkness. Here, the air was soft and clear, and she could breathe calmly for the first time in hours. She had no idea of where Harry had gone to, she had kept an eye on him the whole evening, but suddenly he had just disappeared. At the same time, Tom had left her head, she was quite sure that he and Harry had finally met to have the fight that was unavoidable. She continued to make her way between the trees, stumbling occasionally because of her tired feet and the complete darkness. Was the fight over yet? What if Harry was dead? She didn't want to think about it, but she couldn't keep the thoughts out of her head. She both wanted to find him and not, she was scared about what she would find.

"It's too dangerous for pretty little girls like you to wander around at this time of night, isn't it Weaslette? A cold voice said behind her, before somebody grabbed her and pushed her to the ground. Ginny didn't have to look over her shoulder to see who it was. Draco Malfoy's voice wasn't one you forgot. She didn't know what he wanted with her though, Malfoy had never paid much attention to her.

"Aren't you going to answer me, Weaselette? Or hasn't your stupid mother taught you any manners? Malfoy grabbed both her wrists and pulled them against her back, and at the same time he pushed her face and front into the wet earth. He shifted, and then he leaned his face close to hers, so that she could feel his breath on her neck.

"You know what? I don't care if you don't answer me, Weaselette, I can have so much more fun with you. Even though you're a little blood-traitor, I may say that you are quite pretty, Potter has good taste in girls. It's the only thing we have in common. And I can tell you that there is nothing more arousing than the thought of me having something Potty wants." Malfoy's voice was slippery and ghostly, to Ginny he sounded slightly mad. Not that that was a reassuring thought.

He must have put some kind of paralysing charm on her, because she found that she couldn't move. She just lay there.

Later, Ginny wouldn't be able to exactly recall what had happened. She would remember what he had done to her of course, but it was all a blur. All she would remember was heated breaths, pain and dread. It was probably for the best that she wouldn't be able to remember it.

And then suddenly it was over, and Malfoy left her alone and broken. She lay still for several minutes, trying to accept the thought that she had given Malfoy something he wanted. It made her feel so unworthy. Who could love someone who Malfoy had touched? For a second she wanted to die, right there. But God, if there was one, didn't answer her prayers. She continued to breathe. Ginny closed her eyes. This world was never meant for her, her task in life had been to die in this war, but even that had been taken away from her.

She rolled onto her back and looked at the stars through the branches of the trees. People like her were never welcome. Not even to death. She sighed. The only girl born in seven generations. She should have been somebody else, someone with brains and guts. Someone everybody loved, who could bring pride to her family. But she was never the daughter her parents wanted. She broke into the broom shed for the first time when she was six, and after that she was lost to her parents. Ginny never became what they wanted her to. What had she become? What had she accomplished? She had sent hundreds of people to death tonight, just because of her weakness. She had lost the only man who would ever love her because she couldn't stand being left out. And now, she had become an object of pleasure to a man she hated since she set her eyes on him. No, she hadn't given her family what they wanted, only pain.

Suddenly she sat up, determined about what she would do. She would leave, never bother her family and Harry again. Then this fucking, damn world would be content, because Ginny Weasley had finally given up trying to fit in. But first, she would check on Harry, she had to know that he was alright. Then she could leave in peace, her work would be finished.

Quickly, she dressed and began to walk. She winced from the pain coming from between her legs, cutting through her abdomen like a lightning bolt. She didn't stop however, never again would Draco Malfoy beat her. From the east horizon, a tiny bit of sunlight tried to reach her. It didn't succeed, but it was enough for her to find her way. Guided by her instinct, she walked to the place where she somehow new Harry would be. She was just as scared as before, but now she knew what she would do even if Harry was dead. He wasn't even hers to begin with.

---------------------

His body was cold, but he was breathing. When Ginny first came to the glade, she thought that Harry was dead. She became cold and couldn't move for several minutes. Then she noticed his chest rising, and she was able to move again. Harry was in a horrible state however, he had cuts and bruises all over his body, and he was deathly white. But he was breathing, even though his breaths sounded so weak. Just a few meters away lay a little un-human creature. It was just as small as a baby, with a head, feet and arms, but it was so unlike an innocent baby you could come. Ginny knew who it was the first time she saw him, she felt his dead presence in the air. His presence was something she had much experience of, but Ginny didn't care that he was dead, right now Harry was the only thing that mattered. She looked down at him again. If she left him here, he would probably lose too much blood and die. She had to take him to the temporary hospital tents at the north side of the castle. She took out her wand and conjured a charm so that he would float beside her, then she made herself invisible. Ginny sighed once more, unwilling to do what would cause so many people pain, but she knew she had no choice. With only a moments hesitation she mumbled:

_"Mortus fausseus!"_ On the ground beside her, a body looking exactly like hers appeared. There was a trail of blood all over the false face, from a cut in the head. When somebody found her, they would think she was dead, because the fake body looked exactly like her. It would cause great pain, especially for Harry, but it was the only way. Ginny turned around and began to walk away, leaving her own fake-dead body and Voldemort's behind her as Harry's floated beside her. She didn't feel any dread or regret leaving her life behind, only sadness. Ginny Weasley was from this moment no longer alive, actually, she had died several months ago. Ginny would leave Harry somewhere where they would find him, and then her task would be fulfilled. She no longer had any ties to this world.

Those were the last thoughts of Ginevra Weasley, when she left the life that had taken so much away from her, but never given anything back.

--------------------------

A young man, or rather a boy who had to become a man too fast, stumbled over a field. He was looking for something he had lost, someone who had been taken away from him. It was three days since he woke up in the Hospital Tents, where he ended up somehow without knowing how. Now he was looking for the last thing in this world he would ever claim as his. Nobody had seen the girl who had been his hero and life-saver, which was why he now had sneaked out from the hospital bed, to find her.

Without thinking about it, he was walking directly to the place where he faced Tom Riddle for the last time. He didn't want to see the place again, but he felt that there was someone there who called for him. And he obeyed, because he didn't know where else to go. When he drew nearer to the glade, he began to run. There was something about the glade, something that was completely wrong, he could feel it.

There she lay. His girl, his hero, his life. The only thing he ever demanded from the world to keep had been taken away from him. Ginny Weasley was dead. Lying on the ground with a horrible cut in her head, which spilled blood over her whole body. Desperately he tried to dry away some of the blood off her face, he didn't want to see her beautiful features spoiled, but he only made it worse. He couldn't believe it, wouldn't believe that she was gone. Something must be wrong, the world couldn't take Ginny away from him; she was his last reason to be alive.

He began to cry, without realising that he did so. He didn't realise that the world cried with him, that thunder suddenly broke out over the whole sky. All he could think of was that the girl in his arms was gone forever. Suddenly, the ground opened itself, and people hundreds of miles away felt the earth shake from it. Trees fell and water from a nearby lake streamed into the opening in the ground. All this was Harry Potter's work, but he didn't notice anything at all because his life had just been ripped away from him, his soul was buried deep in his mind where he relived all his memories he had with Ginny Weasley.


	2. Ch I: Disappearing into the Unknown

**Chapter One: Disappearing into the Unknown**

_To go away, take a train, go astray _

_- Disappear into the unknown _

_To a place where you're always _

_All alone_

_-"2000 Light years of Darkness" by The Ark_

It was only on cold, rainy and lonely evenings that Ginny really regretted her decision to leave, she was quite positive that she had done the right thing. Of course, that didn't mean that she didn't miss them or think about them, because that was something she often did. Every time she went past that Travel Agency on the way to work, she thought about Harry and their plans to go away for some time. Every time she prepared food in the Greek restaurant where she worked, she thought about Ron and his constantly hungry stomach. Every time she went past the big library in the centre of London, she thought about Hermione and her never-ending thirst of knowledge. Yes, she missed them and thought about them, a lot. And of course it hurt, of course she still loved them, which was why she was doing this. No, she didn't regret what she had done. She hurt, every day, every minute, every second, but she still believed that this was for the best. They had their life, she had hers.

Yes, she actually had a life. Not as Ginny Weasley anymore, but as Evelyn Flynn. She was no longer Ginny Wesley, the red-haired school-girl who many knew as Harry Potter's girl. Now she was Evelyn Flynn, a young beautiful woman who never took shit from anybody, who was known for her kindness and caring. She worked in a Greek restaurant in the days, and on Wednesday, Friday and Saturday evenings she worked at a nightclub in town, as a bartender. Ginny's life was really going very well, she had lots of friends and enough money to make herself a respectable life.

Her friends didn't know that she every morning changed her fiery hair into a rich chestnut brown, removed her freckles and changed her jaw line slightly, so that her chin didn't stand out so much. Even if her own mother stood before her, she wouldn't recognize her. She had told all her friends that her family and boyfriend died in a car crash three years ago. On these three years, she hadn't dated a single guy. Of course it had happened that she followed a guy home some nights, but it was just one night stands, she didn't want anything serious because she knew that Harry would be the only one in her life. When new friends asked her why she didn't have a boyfriend, Ginny who had every guy she met drooling after her, she just told them that her boyfriend Jamie that died three years ago had been the only one she would ever want.

It hadn't always been this easy. The first months on her own, she had no job, lived in a room that was more a dump than a flat. She couldn't give up though, she had no longer a home to go to. The turning-point had been when she met Alex. She still smiled when she thought about the first time she met Alex in the undergrounds of London, two and a half years ago.

_Ginny sat on a hard and shabby old seat in a worn out underground train. She stared out the window, even if it was quite clear that there was nothing to look at, except darkness. Across from her sat a girl, dressed in black leather and high yellow, plastic boots. Her eyes were surrounded by lots of black make-up, and her hair that stood right up in the middle was dyed in light green. Ginny had seen people like her before, what was it that you called them, punk rockers? She hadn't really understood who they were, where they were from and why they looked like they did. _

"_What are you staring at?" Ginny jumped in her seat, she hadn't noticed that she had been staring at the girl._

"_I'm sorry." She quickly turned her gaze from the girl, scared that she was angry with her. But the girl didn't let her go, she was no looking at Ginny with interest._

"_Are you on the dole too?" she suddenly asked, not as angry as before._

"_What?"_

"_I mean, what are you doing in the underground at two a clock in the afternoon, when you're supposed to be at work? The only people who are in town this time of the day are either unemployed people or tourists. And you don't look like a tourist. No camera." The girl had a kind voice, maybe she wasn't as dangerous as she looked._

"_Well, actually yes, I'm unemployed. I don't have any real education for a job." _

"_And you don't have a rich father with lots of fake friends who only like him because he has money who can fix you something?" _

"_No, I don't." The girl smiled at her now, she actually seemed to be quite nice._

"_Guess we are in the same situation, then." Ginny grinned back at the girl. She was happy that somebody actually talked to her, many people just gave her odd looks when she tried to ask for help. _

"_Where are you going now then, if you don't have a job to go to?" Ginny had asked the question before she could stop herself. Suddenly she panicked, why was she asking the girl that, what right did she have to dig in her life? The girl didn't mind though, she just smiled brightly._

"_I'm going to spend the rest of the little money I own. Money is just fun when you spend it, not when you keep it. You?" _

"_I don't know, I haven't really planned anything, I just went out to come out of the rat hole I live in." The girl smiled at her words, than she bit her lips as if she was anxious about something, as if she wanted to ask Ginny something._

"_What?" Ginny said to the girl's nervous face, a bit astonished that a punk rocker like this girl actually could be nervous._

"_What do you mean with "what"?" the girl asked, now confused._

"_You looked as if you wanted to ask something, I asked what."_

"_Oh. Well, I just thought…you know, seeing as we both have nothing to do, I just thought that…well, that you maybe wanted to join me and go to a café or something? It a bit boring to walk around in town on your own every day, so I just thought I could ask you…I understand if you don't want to…" Ginny almost laughed at the girl's uneasy expression._

"_Of course. I'm new in this town and you are like the first nice person I met, so, well, that would be perfect. I'm Evelyn Flynn, by the way." She said and stretched out her hand._

"_Alex Larsson."_

It didn't take a long time before Alex and Ginny did everything together. Ginny noticed that behind her hard shell, Alex was a really nice and caring girl. Because of Alex, she managed to get a job, a decent place to live in and a completely new life. Ginny made friends with all of Alex other friends, who were all punk rockers some way or an other. Because all the friends Ginny had listened to punk and dressed liked it, she took after them. She discovered that their music really was good, compared to the shit they played at the radio, and she even began to look like one of them. Ginny felt like this was the way if was supposed to be, during all of her growth she had felt different, and now she got an outlet for it. It somehow felt right when she dressed up in black clothes, had a lot of black make-up around her eyes and blood red lipstick, it felt as if she was somebody that always had been hiding inside her, another Ginny that she hadn't showed to the world. She liked the looks she got from other people, both the approving and chocking. It was a kind of solidarity between them, they looked different and were different, so they sticked together and that was all Ginny needed.

Alex wasn't the only close friend she had, Simon was another one she valued high to. Ginny and Simon both grew up in Ottery St Catchpole, and they used to play with each other when they were young, but Ginny lost contact with him sometime in the summer after her third year at Hogwarts. Just after she left the wizarding world she worked at a café, and Simon worked at the same one. It took some time before she realised who he was, Ginny recognized him but couldn't place him because it was such a long time since she saw him. She decided to become good friends with him again, and she did, even though he had no idea that Evelyn Flynn really was his old playmate Ginny Weasley. She met him often, and one day he met Alex. Ginny noticed that the two of them didn't seem to like each other one bit, Simon was kind, quiet and wrote poetry, while Alex was cocky, self-confident and played in a punk band. They were so unlike you could come, but Ginny somehow felt that they did like each other, deep inside. One night, Alex's brother had taken to much heroine and died in a corner of a street. Alex was completely broken and had just wandered around the streets, not knowing how she should deal with it. That was when she accidentally ran into Simon, and he, being the gentleman he was, tried to comfort her. Ginny didn't really know everything that happened that night, but after that night Alex and Simon became a couple and you almost never saw one without the other.

Ginny's life really was quite good, she was alive and had friends. Right now, she was sweeping up in the kitchen behind the bar in the nightclub she worked at. The clock was around ten, it wasn't awfully much time left before she could go home. If they had a calm night, she maybe even could come go home earlier. The music pumped out from the open door that led to the bar. It was a live-band playing today, no other that Alex's band! Ginny often managed to persuade to the owner to let Alex play, so this wasn't a very uncommon.

"Ev, stop sweeping and help Meg in the bar!" The nightclub manger was calling at her from the other side of the room. She didn't answer, just threw what she had in her hands and went to the bar. It was ten times more enjoyable to serve drinks than to sweep the floor.

People begun to drop in now, but it didn't look as if it would be many guests tonight. It was a Wednesday after all, and they were quite calm. Ginny began to serve and prepare drinks, flirt with the hot guys, dance a bit behind the counter and do what she used to do on a working night. She was happy, she really was. This was what she loved to do, and she would do it as long as she could. Someday she would be too old for it, but there was no reason to dwell on that now.

"Hey Ev, how is everything?" Ginny turned around and saw Romain sitting in his usual place at the far end of the bar. Romain was here quite often, he was gay and that type of guy that never managed to keep a relationship more than a month, so he often sat here and looking for a new boyfriend.

"Hi. Everything is just wonderful, actually, I'm feeling good tonight. What about you? What happened with the last one, what was his name….Nick?"

"Ahhh…you know, too boring. He never wanted to do anything, just sit and listen to his bloody music. I became tired of him, so I dumped him. Don't think he even cared." Romain said. He looked at her thoughtfully.

"You know, Ev, if you were a guy, or if I was straight, I think you would be the perfect one for me. Funny, smart and sexy. I can't understand that you haven't had a single boyfriend in three years. All guys that meet you would chop of their right hand to have you, you know." She laughed, she really liked Romain.

"You're sweet, Romain. But you know, I don't want anybody after Jamie. He was the one, and now he's gone, so I don't want anybody."

"You are crazy, Ev. There are so many things you are missing just because you think Jamie was the only one for you. There is always another, Ev, always. Just look at me, I've felt that over fifty guys were the right one, but I always managed to find a new one. You shouldn't hang up on Jamie, you are missing so much." She raised her eyebrows to him.

"You have **felt** that those guys where the right one, but they never were. There is a difference; I know that Jamie was the only one."

"You're impossible. Just look at that young man over there. I've been checking him out the whole evening, and I think he deserves five points. Just look at that black hair that stands in every direction, his green eyes and good lord, that body! I wouldn't be surprised if he posed for fashion magazines and stuff like that. He's absolutely gorgeous, don't you think? Don't you just want to push him onto the floor and have him right here and now?" Romain was pointing excitedly at a point behind her shoulder. She really wasn't interested, but it wasn't often Romain gave somebody five points, so she felt that she had to look.

When she did look, she almost fell of her chair. Her heart stopped for a second and she completely forgot to breath. Ginny couldn't move for several seconds, she couldn't even think. After some time she managed to think: "Harry. Harry is sitting at the bar. Harry fucking bloody Potter is sitting at my bar!!" It took all self control she could muster to not pass out. After three fucking, dark, missing years, Harry was sitting in front of her again.

Harry was bored. He had been sitting in this chair for almost an hour and hadn't really spoken to anybody. He couldn't understand that he let himself be talked into this in the first place, he knew how it would end. Ever since Ginny's death, ever since his wonderful, beautiful, shining girl had left this world, he hadn't been able to work normally again. He didn't meet friends, didn't talk to people like before. Harry closed himself into his own little world, where he re-lived every moment he had had with Ginny. His life had stopped with her, he simply didn't survive without her. It hurt so much until he didn't live for anything but the pain, he lived for the memory of Ginny. His pain infected others, his friends didn't want to see him anymore because they knew he would just drag them into the dark. He would go up, go to work, and then go home. Sometimes Ron and Hermione visited, but he could feel that even they avoided him. They had their life, their perfect and normal life with a wedding, a daughter and a house that was home for them and everything he missed. He couldn't stand seeing their happiness, of course he was happy for them, but it was too hard to see so much happiness in a single place when he had nothing.

The thing that was hardest to see was their daughter. They had named her Ginny, after her dead aunt, and Harry became furious when he found out, but he didn't let it show of course. He didn't want a bloody kid to walk around with Ginny's beautiful name, it was as if they thought that if they named her Ginny, then they could all stop mourn Ginny and begin to live again, because now they had a new Ginny. He couldn't stand the girl, she was only on year old, but he already hated her. When he talked about her, he never said Ginny, he said "you daughter" or "the kid" or something similar. Hermione once talked to him, begged him to say her real name, but he couldn't. Then Hermione had looked at him with big, sad eyes, and said that he should let Ginny go, that he had to accept that she was gone. He hadn't said anything, he just walked straight out of the door. The worst thing was that Ron and Hermione made him the godfather. When they asked him he said yes, because he knew a no wouldn't be accepted.

So here he sat, in a nightclub without knowing a single soul, and he knew from the beginning that it would turn out this way. His friend Rob had more forced than suggested him to go here. Rob was a caring and nice friend who wanted to make everything right for everybody. It was kind of him, really, but sometimes it went to far. Rob thought that a girl was exactly whet Harry needed to cheer him up, so he took Harry to one of the clubs he used to visit. As soon as they came to the place, Rob had found a girl he knew, and disappeared with her. So now Harry sat here, completely bored. He looked down at his glass, it was almost empty. Well, he thought, if I'm just going to sit here I can at least try to get drunk, so I gut some fun.

He looked around for a bartender. One of them, was pouring beer for some teenage girls who looked to young to be there. They gave him glances all the time and giggled, but he ignored them. Even if he wasn't famous in the muggle world, people still reacted on his good looks that came from several years of Auror training. While waiting, he found himself examine the bartender. She was a young woman about his age, and her clothes were rather special. She was wearing a black corset in some glossy, plastic material and a yellow short skirt in the same material. She was rather short and slender, with long, curly chestnut brow hair. Around her dark brown eyes, she had a lot of black make-up, which went out in a line at the sides, like the Egyptians used to have. She was special, and he could even admit that she looked good.

She was finished with the girls now, so he caught her attention.

"Excuse me, could I get an other one of this thing?"


	3. Ch 2: Soul Meets Body

**A/N:** Thanks for all the reviews! Please be so kind and review this chapter too, I love reviews!

**Disclaimer:** J. K. Rowling owns everything and I own nothing. The title of this chapter is taken from the song "Soul Meets Body" by "Death Cab for Cutie", it belongs to them I just borrowed it.

**Chapter Two: Soul Meets Body **

_I cannot guess what we'll discover,  
we turn the dirt with our palms cupped like shovels.  
But I know our filthy hands can wash one another's,  
and not one speck will remain. _

I do believe it's true,  
that there are roads left in both of our shoes.  
If the silence takes you,  
then I hope it takes me too.  
So brown eyes I hold you near,  
'cause you're the only song I want to hear.

_-"Soul Meets Body" by Death Cab for Cutie _

Ginny was completely taken with surprise when he asked her about another drink. He had looked so full of thoughts that she didn't think he was aware of what happened around him. Then suddenly he had asked her about another drink, he had talked her! After three years, he had suddenly opened his mouth to her again.

She tried to look normal as she nodded to him and stretched for his glass. She was shaking in her whole body, what if he recognized her? What if he already **had** recognized her? Ginny felt Harry look at her, as she put ice in his glass. He didn't act as if he knew who she was, maybe it was safe after all. She took down a bottle from the shelf, what was he doing here anyway? From different magazines and newspapers, she had heard that Harry had become shy and reserved after the war, so what was he then doing at a nightclub which was known for being a place mostly visited by single people looked for a partner? Or maybe he had decided that he needed a girlfriend after all. Even if she thought that Harry really did need a girlfriend to make him happy, she couldn't help but feel a bit hurt. She never stopped to care for him, after all.

Ginny turned around and faced Harry once more and gave him his drink with a smile.

"Thanks." He took a sip and then turned halfway away from her, looking at Alex's band playing. She felt that she couldn't let him go so easily, she had to talk to him a bit, it had been three years after all. Without really thinking, she blurted out the first thing she could think about.

"D'you like them?" she said, referring to the band.

"Sure." he said, glancing at her and shrugging his shoulders. "But the singer is too good for them, her voice is too special to sing in a small band like that."

"My opinion to. She's my best friend, but refuses to listen when I say that she should find another band with more talented musicians. She has played with them for so long, so she thinks that would be to fail them."

Harry just nodded, he didn't seem to be very interested. She bit her lip, trying to find an other conversation subject. She really didn't want to let him just sit there, bored to death.

"So, are you here on your own, or what?"

"Nahh, I came here with my friend, Rob, but he disappeared rather quickly and left me on my own. I almost never go to clubs, you know."

"Never? Why not, it's great fun, or at least most of the time. If you don't now anybody, you can always get to know somebody." Harry laughed bitterly at her last remark.

"I've almost forgotten how you learn to know people, I mostly sit around at home doing nothing." His eyes had gone hard now, and he didn't really look at her. Ginny herself was quite shocked, Harry had changed a lot since last time. He almost didn't smile any more, and if what he said was true, he didn't meet friends so very often either.

"Tell me you're kidding, why are you like that? You need to spend time with your friends, or you'll just sit and rot!" He glared at her.

"Maybe I'm totally satisfied with just sitting on a chair and rot!"

"Do you mean that you're happy doing only that?" He glared at her even more, he clearly didn't want anybody to mess with his life and tell him how he should be.

"I never said I was happy, I'm never happy, but I was satisfied. To be happy is something I have learned I'll never be again."

"You were really an optimist. Of course you will be happy, at least if you believe you will." He was quite the same after all, the same Harry who thought that everything depended on him and that the whole world tried its best to make him unhappy.

"You don't get it, do you? I don't even want to live, I don't live any longer. My girlfriend died three years ago, she was all I wanted and needed, but I weren't allowed to keep her. My parents and godfather are dead. I never even learned to know my parents, I was so young when they died. Can't you understand then that a guy doesn't care about making friends anymore?" He wasn't talking loudly, but still fierce and angry. His eyes went black when he mentioned her, and Ginny realised for the first time exactly how much pain she had put Harry through when she left him. Still, there was no way back now. She had made her choice, Ginny Weasley didn't exist anymore. All she could do was to make Harry understand that there was a whole world left outside, he just had to find it.

"So," she said with a heated voice, "you think that loosing almost everyone you love is a decent reason to give up life?"

"Yeah, there is nothing left."

"Of course there is, if you just have the guts to do something! Would you say that I'm acting as if I have lost my whole family and the man I loved in a car crash? I'm not, am I? I live perfectly normal and quite happy too, but I can tell you; three years ago I was sitting in a car with my family and my boyfriend. A drunk driver hit us from the back, and I was knocked unconscious. When I woke up, they told me that I was the only one who survived. All the people who were close to me were gone." Harry didn't say anything, he was looking down at the counter. Then he looked up, with an uncertain look in his eyes.

"Did that really happen?" He didn't doubt her, he just didn't want to believe it. She nodded.

"Yeah. I was like you in the beginning, didn't care about anything anymore. Then I suddenly met Alex," she nodded at the direction of the band, "and she pulled me out of my hole. I know what I'm talking about, you know." Harry was quiet, just looking at her with an intense gaze. She felt that he was taking her in, giving her approval. Then he suddenly held out his hand.

"I'm Harry, by the way. Harry Potter." It was some kind of reconciliation, a gesture of acknowledgment.

"Evelyn Flynn," she said, taking his hand. "but call me Ev, that's what my friends usually do." Harry nodded. He hesitated a bit, and then he began talking again.

"It's not that I **want** to live like this, I just don't now how to do otherwise. I can't stop thinking about Ginny, my girlfriend, and I can't do one thing without her being there. When I eat breakfast, she is sitting beside me, chatting idly about everything. When I listen to the radio, she is singing out loud, even if she hasn't heard the songs before. When I make food, she is running around, doing everything at once. When I read the newspaper she is sitting beside me commentating every article she reads. Then I turn to her to agree with her, and then I realize that she wasn't there. I can't forget her. I just can't." he was whispering now, as if he was confessing his deepest secrets to her. He lifted his head which had been staring down at the counter and looked at her with sad eyes:

"Can you understand that?" She nodded.

"I was the same in the beginning. I couldn't forget Jamie, who was my boyfriend who died in the car crash. But then I met Alex, and she is like my sister now. She gave me my life back, I have a reason to get out of bed. It was hard to find that reason at first, but believe me, you will find it if you just try." She tilted her head a one side, gazing at him.

"Do you know what I think you need?" she asked.

"No."

"A girl. Somebody who makes you happy, who makes you laugh." He gave her a lop-sided smile.

"You're not the first one who says that. I don't know how many times my friends have arranged meetings between me and a single woman who they think would be suitable for me. But no one has ever been what I needed. No one has ever been Ginny."

"You can't go around looking for Ginny, she won't come back. But there are more girls out there, who knows, there may be somebody who is even better than Ginny…"

"There is no one except Ginny for me."

"You're hopeless, aren't you!" she exclaimed, throwing up her hands in the air, showing that she was giving up.

"There are 6 billion people in the world," she continued, "half of them are women. Do you honestly think that of 3 billion people, there is only one for you? There is only one Ginny, but there is plenty more girls who may fit you." He was grinning at her now, realising that he was sounding rather stupid.

"Hey, who said anything about girls? Maybe I'm gay, but to bloody ashamed of it to tell my friends? Maybe I came here to pick up a guy who can satisfy my secret needs?" he said, with a glint in his eye.

"Maybe." she said. "Now days, half the male population is gay, it's a bit confusing actually. You can't flirt with anyone, because they may be gay, and then you have made a big fool out of yourself. Are you gay?" she asked, even though she was quite sure about the answer.

"No. At least I don't think so. I've never tried, you see."

"I can fix somebody who will be very willing to act your test doll, if you want." she said with a playful smile, thinking about Romain.

"Thanks for the offer, but no thanks. I don't think it's my thing, you know." Harry was grinning widely now, just as he used to do, before the war had made its effect on him. Ginny felt that if she could just make Harry understand and give him some will to live, he would maybe become the man she used to know. He really did need to find somebody, to start a family. Deep inside her, she wanted Harry just as much as before, her love for him had never died, but there was so much pain in the way. She was sure that there was plenty more girls out there who could cheer Harry up, like she could.

They continued talking and joking, but leaving the more depressing subjects out of the conversation. Once he started, Harry really seemed to enjoy himself. Ginny had read articles in _the Daily Prophet_ about how Harry should be named The Hero Who Never Smiled instead of The Boy Who Lived. On almost every picture of Harry after the fall of Voldemort, he looked sad and never smiled, but here he sat after three years, laughing like mad. She couldn't believe that it was so easily to cheer him up, to make him smile.

She hadn't realised how much she had missed seeing him smile, or just sitting across him. Ginny hadn't felt this right and happy for years, something just felt complete with him. Inside her, she warned herself of becoming too attached to him. It was just for tonight, she told herself, and then life would go back to its normal non-Harry life. But still, his green eyes made her knees so week than she almost didn't hear her inner voice, and when he smiled at her, good God, she almost died! She still wanted him, after all these years. And she wanted him bad. She continued to ignore the nagging voice inside of her, Harry was simply just making everything feel so right tonight, she didn't want to spoil that feeling.

--------------------------------

Harry really didn't know what was wrong with him. This girl just somehow made him feel perfect. He couldn't remember that he had had such a good time in years, it was almost as if Ginny was sitting in front of him again. Usually, he rarely laughed or even smiled, but that seemed to be the only thing he could do when he looked at Ev. There seemed to be too much energy in her to fit in her small body, she was never completely still. She was a bit like a child, expectant of what would happen the next minute, even if it only was a normal evening in her life. And the way she almost got angry with him, when he was sitting and complaining about his life. Nobody had ever told him before that he needed to pull himself together, to do something with his life. People had just kept quiet, and avoided him. Except for Ginny, of course.

Harry looked at Ev, she was serving drinks again, a big group of people had just entered, and they all wanted their orders at the same time. At the bar, Ev was really like the fish in the water. She was running around, smiling as if it was the most wonderful thing she had ever done. He couldn't help that he became amazed by her, she was so special, and he had never met anybody like her. When she turned around to get an order she caught his eyes for a second and gave him a small smile, and he felt a flutter in his stomach. She is fucking beautiful, he thought. Her dark brown hair and her eyes in the same colour, against her pale white skin. And those lips, strong dark red. Harry suddenly wondered how they would feel against his own, they looked so soft…he imagined how they would become even darker and swollen after a real hot, wet kiss…

"It's no use, man. You can never have her." Harry's fantasies were abruptly interrupted by a tall, dark man, sitting down beside him.

"What?"

"Ev, you will never have her." The man said again. "She never dates anyone, says that her old boyfriend was the only one for her, and he is dead, you see. There are millions of guys who adore her, but she rejects them all. Quite many of them are real hotties, who I would kill to have, but they don't seem to affect her at all." Harry was shocked about the news, was she just like him, whose behaviour she had gotten furious at only an hour ago?

"What do you mean," he said. "doesn't she date anyone at all?"

"Nope, not since her boyfriend died."

"But…that's three years ago!" The man nodded, and took a sip form his beer.

"We all try to convince her otherwise, but she doesn't listen. I'm Romain, by the way, an old friend of Ev."

"Harry." he said and shook his hand. Romain gazed unashamed up and down Harry's body, with an approval smile.

"I guess you're not gay, seeing the way you look at our little beauty princess," he said. "but please tell me that you at least are bisexual?" Harry couldn't say anything at first, completely taken aback by Romain's boldness. He coughed.

"Ehh…I'm sorry, but no. I'm straight." Romain looked disappointed.

"Are you sure?" he insisted. "I can show you some really incredible things. I have much experience, you know…" Harry's ears were becoming really red at this point and for some reason he seemed to be unable to answer.

"Ok, then. But if you feel bored, you can always come to the bathroom later and join me for some interesting activities... I'm always willing." Romain said, and left with a little wink. Harry didn't answer.

Ev was coming over to him, and was biting her lip hard to prevent herself from laughing.

"What is it? You're looking like a tomato." she said. Harry finally found his voice.

"Your little gay friend invited me to the toilet for some "interesting activities", as he put it. He's not a little forward, that one." Ev through her head back and laughed.

"Typical him. He's always desperate to find a shag." She shook her head, with a smile still at her lips.

"Do you want anything more to drink, by the way? You seem pretty shocked, maybe you need something to calm you down."

"Was that a selling attempt, Miss Flynn?" Ev just smiled and shrugged her shoulders. Right then, Alex's band began playing another song, and immediately began tapping her foot the rhythm.

"Hey," she said, "this is "Just like Heaven", my favourite song." Harry frowned, he recognized the song slightly, he was quite sure that he had heard it some times before.

"It's a cover, right? I've heard it before." he asked.

"Yeah, it was _The Cure_ who made it originally. Have you heard them before?" she answered. He looked at her as if she was mad.

"If I have? Of course I have, it's one of the best bands that existed on this planet!" he exclaimed.

"Looks like we have something in common then, Mr. Potter." she said. Suddenly she brightened up. "Come on, I simply can't sit still during this song, it's impossible." With that she walked around the counter and grabbed his hand, dragging him towards the dance floor.

"Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing, I can't dance!"

"Of course you can, everybody can!"

"But aren't you supposed to stand in the bar and work or something?" he tried desperately.

"Nope, my shift ended ten minutes ago. I'm free to do what I want!" she laughed, and continued to drag him towards the dance floor.

"But…" was all he managed to say, before he found himself crowded between sweaty, dancing bodies. Ev was still holding his hand, and it somehow made him stop careing about everything else. He had this beautiful, amazing girl jumping around like mad before him, to hell with if he could dance or not. Once Alex began to sing, Ev sang with her, she seemed to know every word by heart.

"_Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you,  
that I'm in love with you?_" she singed, or more screamed, suddenly looking directly at Harry.

"_You, soft and only. You, lost and lonely._" she sang, staring even more intently at him. Not knowing where his courage came from, Harry leaned against Ev's ear:

"_You, strange as angels, dancing in the deepest oceans, twisting in the water. You're just like a dream._" When he pulled back, she had stopped jumping and singing, she was standing with her mouth half-open and her eyes were wondering and unsure. He stood still too, pressed against her by the dancing crowd, looking down at her with a straight gaze, not really knowing what he wanted. They stood like that for almost the rest of the song, getting irritated looks from the others at the dance floor. When the song was about to end, Ev smiled brilliantly to him, and he saw her mouth form the last words in the song. He didn't hear what Ev sang, but he heard the words coming out from Alex's mouth instead:

"_You, just like heaven._"

---------------------------

Ginny lead Harry from the dance floor, her insides twisting around like mad. Had he meant what he said or had he just wanted to show her that he knew that song as well? Shit, what the hell was she going to do? When she first started to speak to him, it was to cheer him up and then he would forget about her, but she had a feeling that Harry wouldn't forget about her soon. There was a flame in his eyes when he looked at her, a flame that she had seen before when he came to her bed during the nights. A flame that showed that he gave himself to her, a growing desire inside of him to have her. Ginny had never thought that Harry would have this effect on her, but she had a bad feeling about that she looked that same way as he did when she looked at him. Just for tonight, she told herself, I will have him only for tonight.

Harry was standing unsure beside her know, not knowing what she was thinking.

"Well," she said. "my shift is over now, and I got to work tomorrow so I really need to go home."

"Oh," he said, obviously disappointed. "I see. Well, it's not much use for me to stay then." He began looking around the room, searching for somebody.

"Who are you looking for?" she asked.

"Rob, the guy who I came with. I haven't seen him on the whole evening."

"Oh, just forget about him. He has probably already left with his little lady company. Just leave on your own"

"I can't," he said with a sarcastic smile. "I don't know the way from here home. I've never been here before."

The words escaped Ginny's mouth before she even knew what she was saying:

"I can show you your way home, if you tell me where you live." Shit, she thought, what did I just say? Did I just offer him to follow him home? Harry grinned at her.

"Really, that's great!" She couldn't take it back now, not when he was smiling like a child on Christmas Day. And she knew why he was grinning like an idiot, because what she really had offered him was something more than just to follow him home. If you follow a guy that you met on a nightclub home, there is only one thing you're going to do at his place. It doesn't matter what you said you would do, you have just invited yourself to his place to shag him.

Ten minutes later, they were walking down the dark, wet streets of London, hand in hand. Ginny realised that they hadn't let go of each others hands since she was dragging him to the dance floor. She didn't want him to let go either, she wasn't sure if she could manage to walk properly without him holding her. They weren't speaking to each other, just stealing glances and smiles between themselves from time to time. They had been walking for several minutes before Harry spoke up.

"Can I ask you something, Ev?" he sounded unsure.

"Of course."

"When Romain was talking to me earlier," Harry stopped talking for a second, remembering Romain's bold invitation. "he mentioned something about you."

"What?" she urged him on.

"Well, he said that after your boyfriend died three years ago, you haven't gone out with a single guy. Is it true?"

Bloody Romain, she thought, it looks as if I need to have a really long talk to him…she sighed.

"Yeah, that's true." she confessed.

"But why?" he asked, obliviously confused. She decided to drag the same old thing as she did to everyone else.

"You know, it doesn't feel right with anybody else than him. He was the one for me, and now he is gone. That's it."

"Of three billion people on this earth, you say that there is only one for you?" She more heard than saw the smile in his face.

"Ok, ok, that isn't an acceptable reason. I guess I'm scared. Scared of coming too near people, that they will have every piece of me and then just dump it. Scared that the world will take my love away from me, just like they did with Jamie. When he died, I decided that never, never again would I let myself be so weak again. I would have myself, and that was enough. But it isn't enough, I still long for somebody who can make me as happy as he did. But I'm scared, so fucking scared of letting people near me, under my skin. I'm so vulnerable then." Harry had stopped walking, and was looking her right into her eyes with a hard, blazing look.

"Can you read my mind?" he asked. "Because that is exactly how I feel, how I always felt. Ginny was too wonderful to resist, but I was still so bloody scared of her. Of what she could do to me and what others could do to her." They were standing face to face again, just like they did on the dance floor. It was first now that Ginny realised how close they were standing, his knee was touching her thigh and she could feel his hot breath against her nose. His eyes flamed with desire and… fear? Her knees were shaking, what the hell was going on?

"I'm scared of you. Scared to death, actually." Ginny stopped breathing, did he just say that? She smiled slightly and turned her head upwards so that she could see him better.

"I'm kind of scared of you too, you know." Harry was smiling shyly at her now, lifting one of his hands to stroke her cheek. He stopped with his fingers under her cheekbone, and suddenly his mouth was millimetres from her own. He stroke her lips back and forth with his. Ginny was standing absolutely still, not daring to move if he would pull back. Then his warm tongue was inside her mouth, exploring. This broke her immobility and she laid her arms around his neck, playing with his hair as she always used to do. Harry's hands were behind her back, she didn't know where he begun and she ended, all she could think of was his warm tongue in her mouth. Ginny was fifteen again and was kissing Harry for the first time, and the whole Gryffindor Common Room was watching. Nothing had changed, Harry had the same effect on her now as he had back then. Why did she imagine that she was over him? He made her crazy, she couldn't think about what she should do, she just did.

They finally broke apart, panting heavily. The light from a streetlight fell over his face, and gave his green eyes a glittering shine. Of course he looked a bit different from when he was sixteen, but it was still the same face that looked back at her as it was three years ago.

-------------------------------

Harry was lying in his bed, and Ev's cream white was lying beside him, breathing calmly. She had fallen asleep. He had never experienced anything like this, nothing as intense and needing. They hadn't even made it to his bed the first time, she had just dragged him right over to his couch. Shyness seemed to not exist in Ev's dictionary, she had boldly ripped of all his clothes, not hiding how much she wanted him. He had a feeling that he had acted the same towards her, she was simply so fucking beautiful. Her pearl white shoulders, the soft warm breast that fit perfectly in his hands. Her soft hair that seemed to be everywhere, in his mouth, under him, in his hands. It had gone fast too, it was like eating at a beautiful laid table and just chucking everything inside your mouth so fast that you didn't taste half of it. They just swallowed each other. They never had the chance to explore everything, so they simply did it again. In his bed, this time. Harry smiled, that must mean something because he had never been able to do it twice with so little notice before. It was something with Ev that just drove him over the edge, made him stop thinking.

With his arm protectively around her waist, he fell asleep.


	4. Ch 3: She Waits All Night

**A/N:** Chapter Three here at last. Took me some time to write it, the words simply didn't want to be put together...The chapter title this time is taken from The Cure's song "Apart". If you haven't noticed, I happen to like them very much...:P Whatever, just R&R!

**Disclaimer:** See previous chapters.

**Chapter Three: She waits all night to feel his kiss, but always wakes alone**

_How did we get this far apart?  
We used to be so close together,  
how did we get this far apart?  
I thought this love would last forever._

_- "Apart" by The Cure_

There was something sticking in her eyes, but she didn't want to open them. She had never slept this good in years, so peacefully and safe. She only wanted to go back to sleep, it was so soft and warm. An arm around her waist, pulling her against a warm body. What, she suddenly thought, a body?

She opened her eyes. There before her, lay the most beautiful man in the world, sleeping peacefully with his arms around her. The memories from the night before came crashing back to her, Harry, the club, the walk home and when they made love to each other. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. What the hell had she done? She had to leave, now, before he woke up. She slowly got up from the bed, carefully trying not to wake him. Harry didn't seem to like the idea of her leaving, he tried to hold her back with his hand and moaned when her warmth left his side. She looked around for her clothes, then she realised that they must be in the dining room, they had after all, never made it to the bed the first time. She couldn't help but smile when she thought about the night yesterday, never before had she experienced such hunger, such need.

Ginny sighed and looked at him. I hurt her to leave him, more than she would ever think it would, more than it did after the Final Battle. Harry was lying on his side, his arm thrown over the blankets. He was muttering in his sleep, looking a bit worried. He knew she wasn't there anymore. She sighed again, what had he done to deserve all this pain? She couldn't be with him, she wasn't ready, but he was so helpless.

"_I'm scared of you. Scared to death, actually."_

She couldn't leave him like this, she had to show him that it really had meant something to her too. Hesitating, she took off her left earring and placed it at his night table. It was a simple little gold ring, nice but still practical to have when you worked. With a last longing look and a soft stroke over his soot black hair, she left the room.

As quietly as she could, Ginny moved through the flat, picking up her clothes. She blushed from time to time, when she found her clothes in unlikely places. They had really been desperate last night. Fully dressed, she walked to the front door, out to the rest of the world, to a world without Harry. A world she had accepted and become used to during theses past years, even been found of, but now that world felt so hard and cold. Gritting her teeth, she ignored the bad, longing feeling as she opened the door and stepped out. She had a life that was hers, and Harry simply didn't fit in it.

----------------------

It was cold. He wasn't freezing, but it felt as if a warmth that should have been there was gone. Tiredly Harry opened his eyes, it wasn't the first time he woke up like this. Many mornings he woke up, feeling the loss of Ginny's body beside him. It simply didn't feel right to wake up without her by his side. He frowned, there was something different this night though. The warmth of Ginny's body had been there while he slept, but it was gone now. Then he remembered. Ev, the club, the night. He sat right up, where was Ev? Beside him in the bed there was a little hole, somebody had just been lying there. Quickly he got off the bed, maybe Ev was already up? He entered the dining room, and his heart sank. His clothes where spread all over the place, but Ev's where gone. He made it to the kitchen without much hope, he already knew she had left. The kitchen was empty. He walked all through the flat again, maybe, maybe she had left a message? He didn't find anything, there wasn't a trace of that Ev had been there.

Heavy hearted, he returned to the bed. He just wished to go back to sleep and never wake up anymore. Ev had been so alive, he had felt as if his insides were going to explode when he was with her. But it was only for a night, now he had to go back to his usual, dull life where he re-lived the life he had had with Ginny in his head. But now that he had tasted something so wonderful, so madly beautiful he didn't think he was able to continue with only memories.

As Harry sat down on his bed, something glittered in the corner of his eye. On the night table in front of the alarm clock, lay a little gold ring. He took it between his thumb and index finger, and noticed that it was an earring. It must have been Ev's, but why was it lying on his night table? He was sure that she didn't take it off last night, there hadn't been any time for that. She must have put it here this morning when she left. He felt a little sparkle of hope rise in his heavy chest, she must have liked him if she left her earring behind for him. Maybe he was more than a simple shag, maybe he would be someone she would remember. He smiled, maybe it wasn't only for a night. Maybe there was more, after all.

------------------------

Ginny was making her way through a huge crowd of people, trying to keep up with Alex who walked confidently straight forward with a proud posture which made people unconsciously step aside, making her way. Ginny simply followed closed behind Alex, trying to catch up what she was saying, which was near impossible, because Alex mouth was talking non-stop. They were in the centre on London, shopping and just enjoying the warmth of the spring sun.

"I can understand that he doesn't want her, I mean, who would want her, honestly? But treating her like that, and calling her names in front of his friends, that's just mean. Not even Julia deserves that kind of treatment, I can't understand that she hasn't dumped him yet. I myself would have done it months ago, but Julia just walks around living in some kind of dream world stating that he really is kind and soft on the inside. Really, if she doesn't do something, it will end with him leaving her!"

Alex was babbling, not aware of that Ginny didn't listen to a word she said. She was completely caught up in her own problems. Problems that began with an "H" and ended with a "y". She had forgotten how it was when you fell in love, how she simply couldn't think one thought without him being present in her mind. She longed so much for Harry, wanted to talk to him, feel him, kiss him, and have him there. It was even so bad sometimes that she had conversations in her head with Harry, even if he wasn't there. Had it really been like this when she first left the wizarding world? She couldn't recall it, but it probably was. She didn't know how many times this last week she had regretted leaving that morning, or leaving at all. The reasons for her departure seemed all forgotten or meaningless when she thought of the time she could spend with Harry.

Sometimes she even thought of the possibility to go to Harry's flat, she knew where he lived now. But she could never make up the courage to do it, what if he was angry at her? What if he didn't want to see her again? And most important of all, if she got to know him again, what would she do when he found out about her real identity? No, it was best like this, to continue her usual life as she always had. She didn't need a Harry in her life, she had survived three years without him already.

"I've heard some rumours about him, by the way. That he has some fishy business with a drug pusher. Did you know that?" Alex said.

"What, who?" Ginny really couldn't care less.

"Dick, of course. I think he helps a pusher to make the money clean. I mean, where else would he get all the money from to buy that car, for example? And that flat, it must have cost a fortune, how is he supposed to finance himself with just a part-time job as a car engineer? Julia really should get rid of him before the cops come and get both him and her!"

"Yeah…" Ginny was eyeing a man walking a few meters ahead of them. His hair was just like Harry's, messy and black. But he was too short to be Harry, Harry was at least half-a-foot taller.

"What is it with you today? Usually you talk just as much as me and gossip at least twice as much as I do, but today you're just apathetic. What's wrong, don't you feel well?" Alex had suddenly stopped, and stood now facing Ginny with a stern look on her face.

"I'm fine. Just a bit, you know, tired." Ginny replied without much empathy, she knew Alex would see through her even so.

"The hell you are! I've never seen you like this before. You know, if I didn't know better, I would say you were in love! You're acting just as if you were, just as down in the dumps and totally oblivious to the rest of the world." Ginny just shrugged her shoulders.

"Oh come on, I know exactly what you need. A large cup of hot, strong coffee, caffeine helps against anything." With that, Alex grabbed her arm and led her down a cross-street, towards their favourite café.

--------------------------

Harry was sitting in his office, with his feet on his desk, eyeing a piece of paper in his hands. If was Saturday and he knew that he really shouldn't be here, but he didn't care. Over the few years he had worked here, it had become a habit being at work as much as he could. But this afternoon, he hadn't come for the usual reasons.

In the Auror Department there was a person whose main task was searching the muggle database for information. Sometimes muggles where involved in illegal things in the Wizarding World, and that was when they used the database, to find muggle people. This morning Harry had left a request to the man who dealt with the database, to find a woman named Evelyn Flynn. He didn't ask what Harry wanted it for, everybody knew that what the Aurors did where important and because of that top secret. Therefore, nobody ever asked any questions.

Harry didn't look far a muggle criminal, of course. He knew that it was against the rules to search information for personal sake, but he really didn't care. He was desperate to find Ev, to talk to her again, even if she didn't want to see him. He had to know the reason of her leaving that morning. In his hand, he was now holding a list of people whose name were Evelyn Flynn, it held information of where they lived, where they worked, when they were born and where and by who.

He sighed and checked the list once more. He couldn't believe that there were so many Evelyn Flynn, only in London. He had been going through the list at least five times, but there was no one which agreed with what he knew about Ev. He frowned, at the bottom of the page, there was only a name and an address, no birthday or information about her parents. Funny, there should at least be a birth date, he thought. He sighed and tossed the paper on the desk, it was no use, for some reason she wasn't on that bloody list and he didn't have the energy to find out why.

He scratched the back of his head, and smiled when his armed touched the little gold ring in his ear. Three days after his meeting with Ev, he went and pierced his left ear and now the earring she had left behind on his bed table was dangling in his ear. He liked to see it every time he looked himself in the mirror, he saw a piece of her. Many people had commented it, and he had a feeling that regardless of what they said, they didn't really like it. Except for Bill, of course. When he stepped into Hermione's and Ron's flat with a black and white _The Cure_ T-shirt, he noticed that they were giving him concerned looks, they acted as if they thought he would break down and commit suicide at any moment. Inwards he smiled, he couldn't tell them that he simply wore things that reminded him of Ev.

Tired of being in his office, where he had spent almost all his time the last two years, he decided to go out for a walk or something, just get away from there. It was Saturday, which he noticed when he came out in the street, it was packed with people. He simply followed the flow, letting it lead his way. He liked to come outside, to see people. Since he met Ev, he had actually felt the tug of meeting people again. He met his friends more often now, last night he went out with Seamus, Dean, Parvati and her sister Padma, Padma's boyfriend Anthony Goldstein, Lavender and Cho Chang. The latest had been climbing on Harry like a koala bear, and he had let her do so. He had really enjoyed seeing his friends again, he had missed them. He noticed that they were taken with surprise by how open and happy he was, but they didn't comment it.

He felt a bit happier than before, Ginny's memories didn't hunt him as much as they used to, and he had dug his way out of his lonely hole, but he still felt the loss of Ev. One night, one short night had been enough to make him fall head over heels for the girl. He couldn't stop dreaming about her, that she would sit on his doorstep when he came home from work, saying that she didn't mean to leave and that she loved him. He always hurried on his way home, so that if she really were sitting on his doorstep, they she wouldn't have to wait. But she never was. He got his hope crushed every day, and he would find himself sitting on a stool, longing for her. Sometimes, he would be even more depressed than before he met her, because he thought he would never see her again. The world really had to hate him, it gave him two wonderful, beautiful girls, and they were both taken away from him in the cruelest ways.

He turned down a cross-street, to come away from the crowd of people. This one was a bit calmer and he slowed down a bit, letting the sun warm his face. Across the street, he noticed a shop selling vintage cd:s and crossed the street. It was apparently closed for renovating, so he only looked in the window. While he was studying a poster of _The Beatles_, something in the reflection caught his eye. Opposite the cd-shop there was a small café, and by the window there was sitting a girl with long hair and headphones. Even if it was impossible for him to recognize her in the window, it went as a lightening through his whole body. It was her, Ev, he felt it. He turned around on the spot and walked towards the café. He could see the girl more clearly now, her soft, brown hair like waves over her shoulders and back, the petite, delicate form of her body. It was as if something was burning under his skin, he could feel that it was Ev sitting there, listening to music. He had found her, after all.

---------------------------


	5. Ch 4: Now You Can Have Me So Easily

**A/N: **Sorry for the long wait, chapter six took was hard to write, so it took rather long time. I promise that I'll try to be faster next time...:D This chapter is rather short, but I hope you will like it even so. Don't forget to leave a review!

The title this time is taken from a beautiful song made by a Swedish artsit called Håkan Hellström, who is known for being the only popular artist in Sweden who can't sing in tune. Either you hate him or love him, and I, well, I love him. The song's name is originally "Nu kan du få mig så lätt" which means "Now you can have me so easily".

**Chapter Four: Now You Can Have Me So Easily**

_It was so dark,_

_the night I went home._

_I had hoped for something,_

_hoped for something._

_If you want me,_

_now you can have me so easily._

_-"Now you can have me so easily" by Håkan Hellström_

Ginny was sitting at a table in her and Alex's favourite café. Alex had already left, saying something about Simon. The coffee in her hand was cold, but she didn't care. The caffeine spread in her body like a poison, made her calm and cleared her head. In her ears, _The Cure's "Just Like Heaven"_ was pounding on repeat. What had Harry meant when he said those words on the dance floor, had he really meant that he wanted her? He had only begun talking to her some hours ago, he couldn't fall for her so desperately in such a short time, could he? She downed the last of the coffee, and grimaced at the bitter taste. No, cold coffee was not a hit. She couldn't understand how people could order in ice coffee, there was nothing more horrible.

"_You, soft and only. You, lost and lonely. You, just like heaven."_ She closed her eyes at these lines, longing for him. Harry, she thought, Harry, Harry, Harry. I want you, get it? I fucking want you, so can you be so bloody kind and just take me?

Suddenly somebody must have grabbed her headphones, because the music ended abruptly. She opened her eyes, but there was nobody in front of her. Then she felt a very familiar scent, after shave, peppermint and something more, what? Then she felt a hot breath against her ear, paralyzing her whole body.

"Hello gorgeous." Still paralyzed, she sat right on her spot not moving a muscle. A body became visible in front of her, stomach, a stunning chest and at last the emerald green eyes that looked at her with a mixture of amusement, anxiety and happiness. Most happiness. Somehow she remembered how you did when you moved, and was able to give him a small smile.

"Hello yourself, Mr. Handsome." Harry smiled at her and motioned for the chair in front of her:

"Is this unoccupied?" She nodded. Harry sat in front of her, with the same amused smile. Was he laughing at her? None of them said anything for a long time, just sat there looking at each other in comfortable silence. Harry was the first to say something.

"I've been looking for you."

"Looking for me?" He nodded. "What, with a torch and a magnifying glass?"

"Nahh," he smiled. "I've searched the database over everybody in England, you know, birthdays and stuff like that. But I didn't find you, it was as if you didn't exist."

"That's funny," she said, even though she knew perfectly well why her birth date wasn't in the database. The silence fell over them once again, and she searched for something to say. Why didn't he say anything, was he angry at her maybe, because she left?

"I didn't really want to leave, you know." she blurted out, so he wouldn't think that she didn't want him.

He raised his eyebrows at her. "You didn't?"

"No, I was…kind of…well, I was scared, ok? I wasn't sure if I dared to be together with you, scared it would cause me pain, you know?" He nodded.

"Yeah, you said so that night. So was I."

"Still scared?" she asked with a bit of hesitation. He looked at her with a piercing, serious gaze for several seconds before he answered.

"Yeah, like hell. And you?"

She could only nod. Ginny couldn't really believe that he was sitting in front of her again, that he had found her. At the same time as she was unbelievable happy, she was unsure inside. Hadn't she made a promise to herself to never become involved with Harry again? Hadn't he hurt her so much during the war that she was forced to leave? But all the bad things about Harry seemed to fade away, she was just so happy to see and talk to him again. She didn't care about what had happened three years ago, now was now, and now she wanted him.

"Come on," she said and stood up. "let's go for a walk. It's so hot in here"

He followed her out, and they made their way to the calmer parts of London, outside the centre. They found a little park which was rather empty of people, and sat down on a bench by the pond. At first, Ginny felt a bit uneasy because they didn't say so very much. Then she realised that they didn't talk because there was nothing they needed to talk about. Sure, there were loads of things in their lives that the other didn't have a clue about, but somehow it didn't matter. She knew him, he knew her. It was the connection that they had had back at Hogwarts and before she left. The bond of understanding between them that made speaking unnecessarily.

But even if she didn't need to know, she wanted to know. She wanted to know everything about him, everything she had missed. So she finally broke the silence between them, asking him about his life. He answered and asked questions in return. He said that he worked like an agent instead of Auror, worked with tracking down terrorist and mafias and capturing them. Harry also lied about the whole Voldemort-affair. He said that Voldemort had been a maniac with inhumanly much intelligence, and that was why he never was caught by the police. When he was one year old, Voldemort killed his parents. In his whole life, he wanted to take revenge on Voldemort, which was why he became an agent. When he was seventeen, he had killed Voldemort, and the same night Ginny had been killed by an anonymous murderer who probably supported Voldemort.

Ginny in return, lied about her family and her old boyfriend. She told him about the car crash, and about Jamie, who she had been secretly in love with since she was a child. The car crash wasn't real, but the pain behind was. The pain from not seeing her family and Harry and from leaving, it all welled up to the surface. Ginny realised that she had kept this inside of her for too long, it still hurt just as much as it had done when she left.

-----------------------------

Harry sat beside Ev in silence, listening to what she said. He could still feel the same boiling sensation inside himself as he had done when he found her. She had been happy to see him too, he was glad she was, because he had been a bit nervous seeing as she left him that morning. He didn't know what it was with this girl that made him so happy. He had only met her once before, but he knew already that he wanted her. He felt that she understood him, he didn't always need to tell her things, she knew even so. He had only felt like this with one woman before. With Ginny. Harry had come to an understanding about his life and that was that he needed somebody to share his life with. Somebody to love. He had already realised that a long time ago, but he hadn't really dared to confess it to himself. He had thought that Ginny was the only one for him, without her there was no one for him.

But there was, there was Ev. Harry looked at the girl beside him and could help but smile. She looked so beautiful. Ev was wearing red jeans, a tight top with a picture of a tiger on it and a black and yellow striped tie hanging loosely around her neck. Her hair was pulled back in the front by a black, velvet headband. Her eyes were surrounded by red eye shadow and a little string of black eyeliner underneath the eyes.

"What are you looking at?" she smiled.

"You." he answered with a smile. Ev rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, I noticed that. But why?"

"'Cause you're beautiful." He could see that his comment actually flattered her, a small blush appeared on her cheek. But then she looked at him seriously and said:

"Do you really think so? Or is it just something you say?" Harry stared at her, was she joking?

"Of course I do! Isn't you the girl who all guys fall for, because you are so damn pretty?" he stated. She shrugged her shoulders.

"It's different with you." Ev sighed. "You're not like the others I meet. People like you don't think that people like me are beautiful." He only raised his eyebrows at her.

"Oh come on, you know what I'm talking about!" she said impatiently. "I mean, you're an agent, and that gives you quite a lot of money doesn't it? So you've got a respectable job, money, a big flat in a quarter where you don't get knocked down if you walk out after eight in the evening. You went to a posh boarding school when we others went to municipal schools where we learned nothing about maths or spelling, but of our places in the social order. It's nothing wrong with you Harry, you're one of the kindest persons I've ever met, but we're from different parts of the world. I have two jobs, and still have a hard time to make a respectable living, while you practically swim in money. Rich, posh people don't like rabble like me."

"Do you think I care about what the rest of the world thinks about you? There are loads of persons with money, but there is only one like you Ev." Harry couldn't help but feel a bit hurt by her words, did she honestly think he cared about how much money she had? Ev smiled sadly and shook her head.

"You don't want to see it, do you? You're so naïve sometimes, Harry, but that's only cute. Even if you don't care, other people do. And before you say it doesn't matter what people think, you listen to me, okay? 'Cause I care about what people think, I don't want some upper class bitch talk behind my back and treat me unrespectable just because I work as a bartender and not some bloody designer or something." Harry shifted so he could look at her properly in the eyes.

"So you mean that we should let the world stand in the way for us, is that what you want? I thought you didn't care about what others thought, but apparently I was wrong." Ev wasn't looking at him anymore, her gaze was fixed at the gravel path. Harry rose from the bench and looked over the pond. He knew that if it was just the two of them, the world didn't matter. He wouldn't let it matter. Harry had completely forgotten what happened three years ago, when he and Ginny slipped away from each other because he was scared and she was lonely.

He felt a movement beside him, Ev had stood up too. He felt her take a deep breath and then open her mouth.

"Do you want me to show you where I live? It's just a cupboard compared to your flat." Harry turned around and smiled at her.

"I used to live in a cupboard when I was a boy. My aunt and uncle used to lock me in there, but I still liked it. I felt safe in there where I knew they couldn't reach me. I like cupboards."

As they walked towards Ev's place, Harry told her about the Dursley's. He was ashamed about the first part of his life, but not in front of Ev. She understood how it had affected him, and he felt that it just brought them closer.

---------------------------

When they reached her flat, Ginny noticed that they were holding hands. She didn't know who or when one of them took the others hand, but she felt warm inside. It was a safety holding his hand, knowing he was beside her. She looked at Harry and found him looking at her, smiling. She smiled back, and then stopped.

"Well," she said. "this is where I live." They were standing in front of a worn block of flats with five floors.

"Which window is yours?" Harry asked.

"Third floor, just above the door. The one with purple curtains." Harry smiled and looked upwards.

"Should we go up then?"

Ginny knew Harry wouldn't care about that the flat was small and had paper walls, he would like it because it was where she lived. When he came in, he immediately began examining the whole flat. There was only one room, a kitchen and a bathroom, but Harry smiled when he looked around. The only room served both as dining room and bedroom. Her bed stood in the corner with a white drapery around it, in the middle of the room she had a couch and an armchair around a low table. She didn't have a TV, she couldn't afford it. In the corner of the room stood the most precious thing she owned, her stereo and a pile of cd: s. Ginny stood uncertainly in the door opening while Harry surveyed the room.

"I like it, I really do. You can feel that it's you who live here." he said. She smiled, she was happy he liked it, because it had become her home during the past years.

"Do you want anything?" she said gesturing at the kitchen. "Coffee? Tee?" Harry suddenly looked serious and folded his arms in a determine way. He looked straight at her for several moments before he answered:

"Yeah, you." The answer completely shocked Ginny, she could neither move nor speak. Harry walked towards her and stopped when he was only inches away. He slowly lifted his hand and stroked her cheek carefully.

"Pleas Evy," he begged. "I want you. I've missed you so much this past week it's driven me crazy." Ginny couldn't bear looking him into the eyes, her whole inside was completely confused. She wanted him more than ever, but she was still scared, she didn't want to feel any more pain.

"I'm still scared Ev, but I can't resist you. I need you, it would hurt me more to be without you than to be with you." He titled her head up with his hand so he could look her into the eyes. Harry wanted an answer. Ginny looked him straight in the eyes and said with a cheeky smile:

"If you want me Potter, then why the hell are you still fully dressed?" After that, she couldn't talk for a long time because her mouth was completely covered by his, teasing her, tasting her, having her.

Their lovemaking was different from the first. It was still needing, but it was more slow and gentle. The last time they had both been aware of their own desire, but not so much of the other's. Now it felt as if every move she made was something she did together with him, not only for herself. Ginny couldn't recall that she had ever had sex with her eyes open so much. Almost through the whole love making they were looking into each others eyes, knowing that this time it was for real, that it was the two of them now.


	6. Ch 5: Fall Asleep and I Shall Wake

**A/N:** Sorry for the very long wait, but I don't think that I will be able to update very much sooner in the future either. School is really pressing me right now, so I don't have much time to write. But the more you review, the more motivated I feel to update! So continue doing that. The chapter title today is taken from _The Ark_ (again). I can't help it, I'm simply in love with them! R&R!

**Chapter Five: Fall Asleep and I Shall Wake Beside You**

_If there is disease in you,_

_- Fall asleep and I will wake beside you. _

_And if there is disease in you, _

_I want to have that disease too, _

'_Cause I want everything that _

_is inside you. _

_And if there is disease in you, _

_I want to have that disease too, _

'_Cause if you'd die _

_Then I should die beside you._

_-"Disease" by the Ark_

When Ginny woke up the next morning she felt that something was different. She felt that he was both closer and more far away than before. Slowly she opened her eyes and felt the white light stung her in the eyes. Ginny turned her head to the right and saw Harry lying beside her. She immediately understood why she had felt some kind of distance, Harry's back was turned to her and the arm that had been around her when they fell asleep was completely gone. She surveyed his back, the delicate shoulder blades that moved so nicely under his skin when he moved his arms, the broad shoulders that still were so sensitive and the lower part of his back that grew narrower. Ginny sighed, she loved his back, it was one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen, but right now she wished it didn't exist as this strong, quiet wall between her and Harry. There was something that bothered him, something that affected them in some kind of way. Knowing Harry, she had a feeling what it was about.

Hesitating, she reached out with her hand and stroke the thin line in the middle of his back carefully, unsure about how he would react. At first he didn't react at all, but after some minutes he began to speak.

"I don't know if I can do this. What would Ginny say?" Ginny knew this would bother him someday, his guilt to the old Ginny. That was how she thought about it, the new Ginny and the old Ginny. She had become another woman over these three years, learned more about herself.

"I promised her that she would be the only one; there would be no other. But there is you, you're the most wonderful thing I've ever seen. I know that there is no way I can go back to the life I had before." Ev continued stroking his back, not answering just yet. She knew that Harry needed to say everything he felt first, he wouldn't listen to what she said otherwise.

"I failed her." He whispered, so low that she almost didn't hear it.

His voice was unstable as he continued. "She was so absolutely wonderful, the one person I valued the most, even more than Ron and Hermione sometimes. I was so scared that she would have to pay for being with me, so I forbid her to be with me. But you can't forbid Ginny anything, she wouldn't accept that she had to stay away from me. And I couldn't resist her. We tried to keep our relationship a secret, but I'm quite sure most of our friends knew what was going on. Those times were dark, unbelievable dark. But she was just light. She was so soft, so caring and at the same time so alive and full of energy. Ginny made me want to live, made me want to have a life." He stopped talking for a moment, breathing heavily. Somehow it was easier to talk like this, when she couldn't see his face and he couldn't see hers. Harry reached over to his back and grabbed her hand and pulled it in front if him, so that she was lying with her face at the nape of his neck. He intertwined his fingers with hers and continued talking, this time more slowly and hesitating.

"I didn't feel worthy her. I thought she should find someone normal who could give her a family without the threat that somebody should kill them. But she didn't listen, she had wanted me since she first saw me, so she would never give up on me. I felt guilty that she had to go through all that, so I promised myself that I would never let anything hurt her. I would give my life for her, if it was necessarily." He fell into quietness, probably far away in his thoughts. Ginny squeezed his hand, not knowing what to say. It was so weird, lying her hearing Harry talking about her death which never existed. She was bond to tell him sometime, but right now she just wanted to be with him again, to make him happy and let him make her happy.

"I killed her." Harry completely startled her with his statement and it took several moments before she could answer.

"What do you mean?" she asked alarmed.

"I knew Voldemort was coming, and it was completely chaos. I didn't notice that she left the house where she was hiding to join the fight, I should have made sure that she was staying safe. A few hours into the fight I felt that she was there, she was fighting. I tried to find her, but I couldn't. Then I suddenly saw Voldemort, and all I thought about was how much I hated him, how much I wanted to kill him. I killed him, and after that I fell unconscious. When I woke up, they told me Ginny was gone. I searched for her where the fight had been, and I found her where I fell unconscious. She was lying on the ground, so unbelievable pale. Like some kind of angel, so pale and beautiful. Then I realised that she was dead. My angel was not alive anymore." He became quiet.

-------------------------

Harry had never expressed his deepest thoughts and shame to anyone before, but now he felt that he wanted to tell Ev. Wanted her to understand, because he knew she would. He stroke her hand before he continued talking.

"I killed my angel, Ev. The one I swore to myself that I would protect with my life, I failed her. I felt like I wasn't worth happiness, all I could do was to mourn her. My life was no life without her, the least I could do to honour her was to be faithful to her. To only love her. But I will never be able to repay her, my debt is infinite." To his surprise, Ev pushed him down with his back into the sheets and lowered his face so it was only inches from his. In her eyes burned such a fire of rage, that he almost felt scared for a moment.

"If I ever hear those words come out of your mouth again, Potter, I swear _I'll_ kill you." she cried. "If Ginny loved you, she would want you to be happy, not to blame yourself for her death. If what you said is true, Ginny chose herself to join the fight, she chose to die for you because she loved you. Ginny gave her life so that you could live, but the only thing you could do is to sully the last thing she ever gave you. _That_ is to fail her, Harry, not to love somebody else than her."

Harry looked up at her, his eyes filled with fear and relief. Ev was looking down at him with a hard look in her eyes, daring him to doubt her. He wanted to believe her, but he wasn't sure if he dared to. He was scared of being without her, and scared being with her. He knew he had a choice to make now, one of the hardest choices he would ever have to make. The old instincts were telling him that Ginny would be hurt if he was with another woman, while a new voice told him that what Ev said was true, and if he turned his back to her he would never be really happy again.

Finally, he smiled to her. He reached up with his hand and caressed her cheek, looking into her eyes that were filled with warmth for him. He pulled her face down a bit, so that his nose touched hers. Harry stroked his nose against hers, closing his eyes. Her hair was spilled over his face; he could feel the softness on his cheek. Right before his lips touched hers, he whispered barely audible:

"Thank you."

His whole body was filled with softness and warmth for the girl in his arms. He felt some kind of safety when he was with her. She would never hurt him, never leave him. It wasn't necessarily for them to talk, they knew everything even so. He wasn't aware of himself or her, they were more like some kind of big lump of belonging. Time and space didn't exist, only their mouths moving against each other in some kind of ancient rhythm. Their bodies pressed against each other, fitting perfectly. Warmth in her mouth, in her eyes, in her whole body. Then she pulled back, her mouth smiling only for him. He stroke her lips with his index finger, wondering how they could withhold so much magic.

"Marry me." he whispered, smiling. She only lowered her mouth to his again, letting him explore all her magic.

-------------------------------------

"Well, I guess they pass then. But they are a too loose to be outstanding." Ginny said, with a critical look at his eggs. She loved cooking, just like her mother, and was judging Harry's fried eggs. He only laughed at her and shoved bacon into his mouth.

"You're too fastidious, Ev. If you're satisfied with the most you eat, then there are fewer things that taste disgusting." She only struck out her tongue at him and continued eating. They were sitting in Ev's kitchen, eating breakfast. Harry was sitting on a chair with his feet on the table while Ginny was sitting on the table, seeing as Harry was occupying the only chair in the minimal kitchen. They didn't talk much after that, they just ate in comfortable silence, stealing glances at each other from time to time.

Harry glanced at his watch, and sighed. "I need to go soon, promised a friend I would take her out to lunch." Ginny raised her eyebrows.

"Take her out to lunch, you're just eating breakfast!"

He just grinned and shrugged. "I'm sure there is room for more food in my stomach. I got rid of a lot of energy last night, didn't I?" he said and smiled suggestively at her.

"A female friend, huh? Are you planning on shagging her too, Mr. Potter? Are you the type who has one for each day of the week, maybe?" she said playfully.

"She's married, you git, and has a daughter." He kicked her leg. "She is like a sister to me, it makes me feel sick just thinking about it. Plus that her husband probably would kill me." Harry stood up and placed his plate in the sink.

"I'm sorry," he said. "but I really need to go. Hermione will have my throat if I don't turn up." He walked up to her and stood between her legs at the table. He kissed her softly.

"Can I see you again?" he asked seriously with one hand on each of her thighs. She nodded.

"Do you want my number?" he picked up his mobile phone. The wizards had realised how smart it was with mobile phones, and had imitated the muggle ones but used magic to run them, not electricity. Otherwise it worked just like a usual muggle phone, and it became a success in the wizarding world seeing as it was the first way to contact anybody you wanted anywhere you were, so most wizards now owned one.

Ginny gave him her number, and scribbled down his number on the back of her hand seeing as her phone was in the other room. With one last kiss and a look filled of longing, Harry left her flat.

Excitement was flowing through Ginny's body, and she felt a jolt of happiness when she looked at the number on her hand. It was the proof of that she was a part of Harry again. She was still uncertain and a bit scared, but she didn't care. Just thinking of him made whole her glow and she felt a funny feeling to share this newfound happiness with someone.

Ginny dumped the half-eaten eggs into the bin and decided to go to Alex and Simon. They were her most loyal friends after all, they deserved to know that she had found a boyfriend after three years of longing.

---------------------------

Harry hummed as he made his way to _The Leaky Cauldron_. The thoughts of Ev made him feel that his life couldn't be more perfect, he had a strange feeling of screaming that he was in love to the whole street, but he managed to control his impulse. He was after all well-known in the wizarding world, he didn't want anyone to know about him and Ev right now. She needed to know everything about the wizarding world before she met his friends, so it was best if he keep quiet about it for now.

Somewhere deep inside him, he had an odd anxiety about that something wasn't quite right with Ev. He had only met her twice, but it felt as is he had known this girl his whole life. Maybe it wasn't anything that he needed to worry about, maybe it simply was that he and Ev were made for each other, but he couldn't let it go. Hadn't he and Ginny had loads of fights and long talks before they really knew each other that close, under the skin? Was Ev hiding something from him? Harry sighed, and decided to not waste energy on it. He probably would never figure it out by himself.

Harry reached _the Leaky Cauldron_, and the moment he stepped inside he noticed that every face in the pub turned his way. He was used to getting attention every where he went, and just smiled at the astonished faces. He spotted Hermione and made his way towards her. She rose from her seat and when she hugged him he realised how much he really had missed her.

"Hi," he said with a broad smile. "How are you?"

"I'm fine." she said. "And so is Ron, and Ginny." Harry nodded.

"And you then," Hermione asked with a troubled frown. "How have you been, you look happier than you normally do."

Harry smiled even more broadly at her. "That's because I am happier than usual."

-------------------------------

Ginny almost jumped the last meters to Alex's and Simon's flat. Her life was just perfect, Harry simply made it complete. What happened in the past was not relevant, Harry was hers now and this time it would last, she wouldn't leave him. Those thoughts made her happier than she could remember, and she really wanted to share her happiness. It was Simon who opened the door, wearing a shy smile and a crumpled shirt.

"Hi Ev, you're up early." Then he stepped aside, letting her in. When she went past him, Ginny gave him a quick hug and a peak on the cheek.

"You know that I love you, right?" Simon raised his eyebrows at her comment and gave her a pat on the back.

"Oh, we're sentimental today, are we?" Ginny just smiled at him and continued into the living room where Alex sat on the carpet with her guitar in her hand, the pink hair that usually were full of spray and gel so it stood right up lay flat against her head.

"EEEEEEEEV!" she screamed when Ginny came into the room, and she and Alex collapsed on the floor in a hug.

"How are you, girl? Are you still acting as low as you were yesterday?" Alex asked when they had pulled back.

"Actually," Ginny said, making her comfortable on the sofa. "I'm feeling absolutely lovely today. Never been better."

Alex raised her eyebrows. "Oh and why is that?" Ginny leaned back against the sofa and looked Alex teasingly in the eye for several seconds before she answered.

"I've met someone." Alex stared at her for a long moment, eyes wide.

"Met someone?" she asked unsure. "You mean, met someone as in finding somebody you want to be together with?" Ginny nodded.

"But, but…you don't date people, you never do! Not since Jamie." Alex had apparently a hard time believing what Ginny said.

"That was before Harry. Now it's after Harry, and I do date people. Or him at least."

Alex still looked shocked. "Soo…you're telling me that you've suddenly ignored your vow to never date anyone, because of a guy named Harry?" Ginny nodded, smiling broadly.

Alex gave a low whistle. "Well, that's…surprising." Then she smiled confidently. "Ha, I was right when I said you were in love yesterday!"

"Yeah, I guess you were." Ginny smiled. Alex jumped up and sat beside Ginny on the sofa.

"You have to tell me everything about him and what happened!" Alex exclaimed. "And he better have the sexiest arse in the world, or else he isn't worth waiting three years for!"

-----------------------------------

Returning home later that night, Harry felt content and exhausted. After lunch, Hermione had dragged him home to her and Ron's house, to see Ginny and Ron. The twins had been there too, so the five of them had stayed at the house and talked about old times. Harry had sensed that they were surprised by his sudden change of mood, but he hadn't bothered to explain. It somehow felt good to have Ev as a secret, it made him feel surer about it. He didn't want people to ask questions about them when he wasn't very sure about their relationship yet.

He smiled when he laid in his bed, thinking that Ev had been lying here beside him just a couple of days before. He really couldn't believe his luck, that she had chosen to be with him. Thinking about her, he peacefully drifted to sleep, hoping that the next day would come soon so that he could meet her again.


	7. Ch 6: Fear No Darkness

**A/N:** Chapter six! I hope it didn't take as long time as it did last time, Christmas holidays starts tomorrow (yay!) so I guess I will have more time to write. I love reviews, and if you love this story, then leave a review and you'll make my day! And just so you know, don't go around hoping that Harry will find out who Ev is soon, 'cause that won't happen until chapter 17, I think. There is a lot to happen before that; I know that this story has been rather uneventful so far, but things will happen. I'm just not that type that likes to rush things.

The chapter title this time is taken from a song by Timo Räisänen, a hot, hot, hot (did I say hot?) guy who write absolutely wonderful songs. I was at his concert only a week ago. :D

**Chapter Six: Fear No Darkness**

_Like a candle in the night, _

_that's how I found._

_And you will see,_

_though it's dark,_

_your heat will blind the night._

_I shall comfort you so,_

_fear no evil as you know._

_I shall guide you, _

_I will lead you._

_Fear no darkness, promised child._

_-"Fear No Darkness, Promised Child" by Timo Räisänen_

Harry still had a hard time believing it. Believing that he had found Ev, that she wasn't just a dream, she was actually real. And that she wanted him, that she felt the same for him as he did for her. Ev was so close to perfection that she shouldn't even exist, but still she did. And by thousands of people she chose to love him, not because he was The Boy Who Lived, but because he was Harry. She was like a second Ginny, a source of love and comfort. He had thought that only Ginny could make him feel this way, but apparently he had thought wrong. Just by smiling at him, Ev made his day perfect.

This day, he went from work as early as he could, which was nothing he used to do. He usually stayed as long as possible to keep his mind on work and not Ginny. But today, he had just whished for it to end, because he had a date with Ev in the afternoon. His hands had been shaking with nervousness yesterday when he called her, being scared that she wouldn't want to meet him. He didn't need to worry though, Ev had sounded unbelievably happy when she heard that it was him. They had agreed to do some shopping in London together the next day, which was why Harry now hurried down the road towards the café he had met her a few days ago.

He glanced anxiously at his watch, he was ten minutes late. He didn't really think that Ev would care, she had informed him that she was a catastrophe when it came to arriving in time, but he still wanted to come on time. He didn't want to spill one moment with her. Harry glanced down the street and smiled, Ev was standing at the corner of the café with her back to him. He could see that she was wearing a white dress, the upper part was like a corset and the skirt had several layers of fabric, which made it stand out from her body. Harry smiled, she reminded him of a doll from the 1800th century. She must have sensed him coming, because when he approached her she turned around and spotted him. He could now see that her eyes where surrounded by green, sparkling eye shadow and her lips where painted with the usual spectacular red lipstick. Harry had never met a girl who looked like Ev, she was the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen.

Once she had spotted him, Ev made her way towards him, grinning like an idiot. He didn't even have the time to open his mouth and say hello before she had her arms around his neck and her wonderful, warm lips on his. He couldn't help but smile, apparently he wasn't the only person who had been longing for this. Losing himself in her kiss, he slipped his arms around her petite waist and presses his body against hers. She opened her mouth and he slipped his tongue inside her mouth, trying to come as far in as possible. When she suddenly bit his bottom lip he couldn't help that he let out a groan, and that reminded him of that they were in the middle of a crowded street, and he pulled back. Ev was even more beautiful now with her green eyelids closed and those long black eyelashes casting shadows on her cheeks.

"Sorry I'm late." he whispered and she finally opened her eyes.

"Never mind, I just arrived anyway." Ev whispered back. Then she took his hand and began to drag him down the road.

"Do you have any particular shop you wanna go to?" she asked.

"Nahh…"he said, shaking his head. Harry suspected that he would look more at Ev than in the shops today.

"'Cause there is a new CD-shop just down the road with unknown and foreigner artists. I was hoping I would find _The Ark_ in there, you can't find them in the usual CD-shops." she said.

"_The Ark_?"

"Yeah, never heard of them have you? Just wait, if you like _The Cure,_ you'll adore these. I don't know how you shall describe them, gay pop kind of. It's a real pity that the singer, Ola Salo, is gay. He's the sexiest angel I've ever seen." Ev said with a teasing smile.

Harry snorted. "He is, is he? So my body isn't enough to satisfy your little needs? Then I know who I should blame if I loose you…" Ev giggled and stopped, slipping her arms around his waist.

"Well…"she said with a low voice. "If you too walked around with a naked chest and big, black wings I would probably say that you're the sexiest."

"You wish." he said, and lowered his head down to hers, kissing her fiercely once more.

It took some time before they actually made it to the shop, they stopped from time to time to steal kisses from each other. They continued walking through London, more talking and snogging than actually shopping. Not that Harry minded, he was totally satisfied with just being with her. Ev talked really much, making him laugh more than he could remember he'd ever done. When they separated several hours later, Harry felt as if he would be able to fly without a broom, he was so happy. They said good-bye to each other in the street before they went separate ways, and he felt as if that was a sign that their relationship would last for some time. They had made love to each other on both their previous meetings, but not today. They enjoyed each others company so much that they didn't need to have sex every time they met. Sure, he loved making love to her, but that wasn't everything. There was nothing he liked more to do than to look at Ev, talk to her, laugh with her…

-----------------------------

Ginny was dishing, with her stereo on a high volume. She liked doing the dishes, she had her hands occupied while her head was free to think. Humming softly to _the Ark_, she thought about the passed days. It was two and a half week since she had met Harry again at the café, and every day after that had felt just perfect. She and Harry had met often, almost every day, and if they didn't meet they were talking on the phone for hours. When he wasn't with her, she felt a loss inside herself. She wasn't always aware of it, but it made her feel stressed and restless, which was why she met him so often. Harry had confessed to her that he felt the same, he couldn't keep his mind on work, his thoughts always drifted off to think about her. In one way it was disturbing, but Ginny still felt a bit proud that she had so much power over him, and a bit scared that he had so much power over her. She guessed it was the memories from Tom that made her feel like that. Ginny knew that Harry would never hurt her, and nobody would hurt her while she was with him. Over the years, had Ginny always been on her guard. Every day, every minute, searching for danger even thought there was no sign of one. She guessed that that was one of her scars from the war she would always carry, being unable to fully trust people and relax. But when it was only her and Harry, every worry and restless thought just disappeared. It was just him and her and their own world where danger and evil didn't exist. She smiled; she really couldn't understand how she survived three years apart from him.

She yawned, it was late and she just wanted to sleep. It had been a hard day at work today, many costumers who wanted food at the same time. Ginny had been running between the kitchen and the tables in the restaurant the whole day, and her feet were completely abused. She had been over at Harry's for a couple of hours too, they had been taking it easy, drinking tea and chatting idly. She really enjoyed the quiet moments she had with Harry, they were so full of security.

Ginny brushed her teeth, changed into a nightgown and slipped into the cool, soft sheets. She sighed and burrowed herself deeper into the bed, enjoying the feeling. She was so tired, she just wanted to fall asleep and not wake up in a very long time…thinking about Harry, she fell asleep.

_Ginny was sitting by the lake at Hogwarts, together with Harry, Ron, Hermione and their friends. Cho was sitting beside Harry and he had his arm around her. She felt confused, they were all laughing, but she didn't know why._

"_What are you laughing at?" she asked. But it didn't come out as she thought it would, she was spitting and hissing. Ginny realised that she was talking in Parseltongue, even though there was so snake near. _

"_What's your problem, carrot head? Are you so stupid that you can't speak like normal people?" Cho shrieked, laughing shrilly at her. Harry and the rest laughed with her, and Ginny felt herself blush deeply. She blinked furiously, trying to prevent the tears from falling. Harry must have noticed that she almost was crying, because he said:_

"_Crying already, are you Weasley? I really can't see how the Sorting Hat could place you in Gryffindor, you belong in Hufflepuff with the rest of the weak and nerdy people." Everybody laughed harder and Cho leaned over and kissed Harry deeply on the mouth. Ginny felt anger and jealousy surge through her, seeing Cho kiss Harry._

"_Don't touch him, he loves me and not you, you bitch." she said heatedly. Again, it came out in Parseltongue so nobody understood her expect for Harry. He stopped kissing Cho and turned to Ginny with a cold, indifferent look in his eyes._

"_What's your problem, Weasley? Do you think that just because you're so clumsy and put your elbow in the butter dish that I will love you? I have never in my life met somebody as pathetic as you." Ginny couldn't hold back her tears any longer, she immediately stood up and ran away from them. She ran into the Forbidden Forest, wishing to never see them again._

_Suddenly, the forest changed. The sunlight that had slipped through the branches disappeared and she could hear screams and shouts in the distance. It wasn't the Forbidden Forest either, this was different. Ginny realised that she wasn't running away from Harry and the rest anymore, she was searching for Harry. She knew that if she didn't find him in time he would die and it would be her fault. It was a fight between the Death Eaters and the Order, and Harry had left sometime during the battle, he had sensed Voldemort's presence. She ran faster, Harry was near, she could feel it._

_She reached an opening in the woods, and she knew that this was where Harry was. It was dark, so she couldn't see anybody, but she saw a lump of something dark in the end of the opening. Ginny didn't run anymore, she was walking slowly, scared of what she would find. Would he be alive, or would he be dead? Deep in her heart, she already knew the answer and hated herself for being too late. _

_When she reached him, she fell to her knees. Shaking, she reached out with her hand and turned his beautiful, pale face towards her. His face was covered in blood, which came sipping out from his scar. His emerald eyes where open wide, in shock or fear she couldn't tell. But he was cold. Cold as marble. _

_Ginny's whole body turned into ice. Her heart stopped beating. He was dead, he really was dead. Tears were flowing down her face, but she didn't notice it. She wanted to die. She had always thought that if he died, then she would die with him. Sobbing uncontrollably, she fell down beside him, clutching his cold hand in hers. _

_She had failed him. Forever._

_--------------------------------_

Ginny woke up, shaking with sweat all over her body. Fear was flowing through her veins, she couldn't get the image of Harry's dead body out of her head. She breathed heavily, and soon she felt tears run down her face. The image didn't want to go away, she could still feel the panic when she found him dead, and the dread gripped her body and threw her down a black whole. Harry was dead, somewhere deep inside her she felt that he wasn't alive anymore.

Without thinking, more acting on instinct, she threw away the wet sheets and stepped out of the bed. She stumbled towards the front door and threw it open. There was only one thought in her head; to find Harry. Ginny didn't know if the dream was true or not, but she needed to find him desperately. What if the dream was real, what if she would come too late? She ran down the stairs and out in the cold, dark streets. She was so full of panic and fear that she had been running blindly for several minutes before she remembered that she could apparate. In an instant she was outside Harry's door.

Tears were flowing down her face, she was shaking and breathing heavily. She was in a hell of a state, but Harry was the only thought in her head. Desperately, Ginny began to kick and pound on Harry's door, to make him wake up. _Please, please, please Merlin_, she thought, _say that he will wake up, that he is home, please._ She continued to pound for several minutes, but nobody opened.

"HARRY!! Come on, wake up. Harry! Open the door, please!" When nobody responded on the inside, Ginny fell to the floor, sobbing. _He is dead_, she thought, _that is why he doesn't open_. It was just like in the dream, she had come too late. She had let her beautiful man die. The same feeling rose inside her, the desire to die. Right then, with him. Why was the world so cruel to her? Or was it her that didn't belong here? She should never have gone back to him, she had known that it wouldn't end in a good way. He was dead now, she was more alone than she had ever been before. Ginny knew that Harry had been the only thing in her life that had kept her sane these last three years.

Ginny was sobbing so loudly, completely broken, that she didn't hear the door open. She didn't notice anything until she felt a pair of strong arms around her. Harry's well-known scent filled her nostrils. She instantly filled with relief, but she began to cry even harder. Ginny leaned against his body and for the first time that night, she relaxed. She gripped Harry hard around his shoulders and refused to let go. Ginny would never let go of him, never leave him again.

"Ev, what's wrong" Harry asked concerned. She wasn't able to answer, she was still sobbing uncontrollably, pressing herself against him. It was such a relief to hear him breath, to feel his heartbeat under his shirt.

"Ev," he said and pulled back, lifting her head so that she looked him into the eyes. "what's wrong, what's happened? Are you hurt?"

"You…you were…dead." Was all Ginny managed to say, not wanting to leave his arms. Harry's mere presence made her feel calmer, his strong arms around her made her feel secure.

"Ev, what are you talking about? I don't understand…" Harry said desperately.

"I dreamed…I dreamed that you were dead." she whispered. "I was so scared, I really thought you were dead when I woke up, so I came here. And when you didn't open the door I thought you were dead for real." Harry stroke her hair and kissed her temple.

"It's okay, girl. I'm not dead, Ev." She could only nod. Harry shifted a bit, and suddenly she was in the air, Harry was carrying her. Ginny didn't protest, she didn't want to be away from him. He carried her through his flat and into the bedroom, where he gently lay her down on his bead. He lay down beside her, wrapping his arms protectively around her. Ginny buried her head in his chest, breathing him in. She had stopped crying and her sobs were eased.

"Tell me, baby. What happened?" he asked softly. Ginny hesitated for a moment, and then decided that she would modify the dream a bit.

"I dreamt about the car crash." she whispered. "I was running around at the scene of the accident and I knew that if I didn't find you, you would die. I've dreamt it before, but then I was searching for Jamie and I always found him dead. This time it was you, not him." She breathed in shakily.

"I was so scared."

Harry answered by pressing her closer to himself, stroking her back.

"It's okay, Ev. I'm right here, alive, and I promise I won't ever leave you."

They lay in silence for the rest of the time. Harry calmed her and watched her as she fell asleep. His insides were filled of so much gentleness and protectiveness against this girl. He realised that he loved her, even though they hadn't been dating for so very long it felt as if he had known her his whole life. Harry wanted to give her everything, and was determined to do so. He knew that he had felt like this many times before, he could remember countless of times that Ginny had come to his room in the night, crying from a nightmare. He hadn't been able to protect that girl, but he hoped that nothing would take Ev away from him. He needed her now, as she needed him.

Slowly his eyes closed as he fell asleep, feeling that he was at home where he was supposed to be.

----------------------------


	8. Ch 7: Need You Like a Drug

**A/N: **Sorry for the long wait, the Christmas Holidays simply flew by. I thought I would have loads of time to write on this fic, but no. During the holidays you do all the tings you didn't have time to do when you had school, so there was no time left for this. Plus that my best friend had a bit a hard period right then, she needed to talk a lot, and that took quite a bit of my time. I'll try to be faster, but I really can't promise anything. I'm in my last year in the compulsory school right now, and we have about two-three test every week. But I'll do my best as long as you read and review!

For the first time (I think) the title is not taken from a pop band, but this time a Norwegian metal band, Zeromancer, who my friends totally adore.

**Chapter Seven: Need You Like a Drug**

_You take the world out of my eyes,  
you suck the words outta my mouth._

_Need you like a drug,  
need you like a drug,  
can't make it stop,  
keep fucking it up._

_Nothing can touch you,_

_nothing can hurt you,_

_when we kiss._

_- "Need You Like a Drug" by Zeromancer_

Harry Potter sat lazily in his sofa, admiring the view of his girlfriend running around, preparing herself for a party in only a bra and a short red skirt. It was two weeks since Ev suddenly came screaming to his flat in the middle of the night, totally broken by her nightmare. He had been surprised by that, he hadn't really thought that those kind of things happened to her too. He began to understand what she had meant when she said at the nightclub that he wasn't the only one who lived with the loss of loosing his closest friends. Inside this happy, strong and loving woman there was a scared and unsure girl who never got the chance to have a proper life. It scared him a bit, seeing Ev week and fallen, but at the same time he felt closer to her, knowing that there was nothing he needed to hide for her. In his whole life, he had closed his feelings inside himself, but this woman dragged them harmlessly out of him, demanding him to tell her. In the beginning he had been unsure, but after some time it felt good to have somebody to lean on. And to be somebody to lean on.

Harry couldn't believe that he had had three loving, passionate and madly beautiful weeks together with her. Ever since Ev's nightmare, he had met her everyday. They simply didn't stand being away from each other. Usually they didn't do anything special when they were together, Harry sometimes wrote reports for work, while Ev was on the phone talking to friends, reading or just listening to music. But mostly they were talking to each other, or rather snogging. Harry couldn't get enough of her beauty, it drove him crazy. He smiled when he thought about the time when he had arrived at Ev's flat, and found her baking cakes. Her hair had been ruffled and her face flushed from the heat with flour on her cheeks, and for some reason he found it extremely arousing and attractive. In les than a minute Ev was pressed against the fridge, only in her underwear.

"Aren't you going to get ready, it's less than half an hour until the buss leaves." Ev said from the mirror, applying black lipstick and glancing at him in only his black boxer shorts.

"Well, one of the privileges being a guy is that I just need to put on trousers and a shirt, and then I'm ready." he said.

"Couldn't you at least pretend being in a rush, so I don't feel so left out? I haven't even decided what to wear yet…"

"Well, if you hadn't been so bloody awful at being on time and started earlier you wouldn't have found yourself in this position."

"Excuse me, it wasn't me who decided that it would be fun to pay his girlfriend a visit in the shower?! A shag in the shower wasn't exactly in my plan of getting ready." she retorted, faking an angry look at him.

"It's not my fault that you happen to be so very beautiful that I can't resist you…" Ev only struck out her tongue at him, continuing applying make-up. Harry bent forward and grabbed her by the waist, dragging her down in his lap. Ev resisted at first, but gave in and leaned against him when his lips found her neck. Beginning at the top of her neck he worked his way down to her collarbone, and smiled when he heard her moan. He loved the excitement he made her feel, and her lust only increased his. Pulling her back closer against his chest, he cupped her breast under the black bra with his hand, stroking it. His mouth moved up again to her neck and she leaned into his touch. He teased one particular sensitive place with his tongue, and then knowing that she couldn't resist it, be bit her. Ev arched her back, a low groan leaving her mouth. Suddenly, she shifted so that she sat astride his lap, crushing his mouth with her own and sucking hard at his bottom lip, making him groan. He broke apart and mumbled:

"Weren't you supposed to get ready?"

"That can wait, I have more important matters at hand." she growled and pushed him back against the sofa, capturing his lips once again. Then it went quiet for several minutes.

---------------------------

"Ashley, you finally arrived!" Ashley turned her head and saw Alex coming to her with a big smile on her face. Ashley was standing in the doorway to the dining room in Alex and Simon's tiny flat where a party was going on, with her latest boyfriend Steve in her hand. She hugged Alex tight when she approached, happy to see her.

"Hell Ash, it's been ages since I last saw you, you can't run away from us like that. We miss you too much!" Alex exclaimed.

"Blame Steve here for being so wonderful, I simply couldn't let him go." Ashley said with a smile at Steve's direction. Alex rolled her eyes.

"So, you're Steve," she said, holding out her hand. "I've really heard a lot about you. Ashley can't stop talking about you." Steve smiled and shook her hand.

"Learning from my experience, she never stops talking about anything." he answered. "Sorry if I've kept her from you, though."

"Don't bother, you haven't beaten Harry. It's been several days since I saw Ev last, and we always used to see each other almost every day. Now she's never away from the boy."

"Who's Harry?" Ashley asked confused. Alex looked at her surprised.

"You don't know? Harry is Ev's boyfriend, hasn't she told you?" Ashley just looked at her in pure shock.

"Ev's boyfriend? She doesn't have a boyfriend!" Ashley exclaimed.

"She has now." Alex said smugly.

"Are we talking about the same person here?" Ashley said, not believing what her ears heard. "Has Evelyn Flynn, the most single person in the world, got a boyfriend? Evelyn Flynn, our best friend?" She talked louder than she had meant, a lot of faces turned towards them, shocked by the news they were hearing.

"WHAT??" Leila suddenly screamed. "Isn't Ev single any more?"

"Tell me you're joking!" Brian exclaimed.

Alex just grinned at their shocked expressions, knowing that she probably was the only one who knew about this.

"Well, you see, it really is true that our Evelyn actually have met someone. She broke her promise to herself three weeks ago when she met a guy named Harry that she just couldn't resist. She's really happy, from what she has told me. I haven't met him myself, but I made her promise he would come tonight." The silence that followed almost hurt in her ears.

"FINALLY!!" suddenly Leila screamed, punching in the air. "Took her long enough to find one, he really must be something quite ordinary if she waited three years."

"But…but…no!" Brian managed to say from his place at the couch. "That can't be true, Ev and a guy…that's against nature laws! It's like Romain keeping a relationship for more than a month!"

"Was somebody talking about me?" Romain appeared from the kitchen with a beer in his hand.

"Brian has problems accepting that Ev has a boyfriend." Alex said. "He compares that to that you haven't had a single relationship that lasted more than a month."

"I have actually! It was some while ago, almost a year…what was his name again? Daniel, Damien? Ahh…I don't remember…but I've never seen anybody as good as him on the guitar, he was a real god…" He said. Then he realised what Alex just had said. "Boyfriend? Has Ev found a boyfriend?"

Alex just smiled wider, this really was fun. "Yep, she met him in the nightclub where she works about a month ago. His name is Harry, has a really nice arse according to her and has just like her never dated anybody for three years." Romain let out a low whistle.

"That's quite incredible…" he said, and then he frowned. "That there is someone else like her out there, I mean." Alex and Ashley nodded in agreement.

"Sorry to interrupt, but what's so special about this Ev and her boyfriend? I can't really se the point." It was Steve that talked, standing behind Ashley looking unsure and a bit put out seeing that he couldn't join in the conversation.

"Oh," Ashley said. "I'm sorry, I was so surprised I didn't think about that you don't know. You see, Ev, our friend, she hasn't dated a single guy for three years since her boyfriend at the time died in a car crash along with the rest of her family. She says that he was the one for her and all that shit, refusing to accept that there could be somebody else in the world for her. And Ev is this kind of girl that all guys fall for after two minutes. She's beautiful, really beautiful, but she's also very open person and always manages to make people laugh. So it's rather incredible that she has managed to stay single for so long, some of those guys really were to die for…" Ashley said with a dreamy expression.

"We all knew that she couldn't stay like that forever, the question was just when it would happen. I don't know how much money I've lost from betting about when she will make her move." Alex filled in.

Steve raised his eyebrows. "Is she really that wonderful?"

"Well," Ashley said with a grin. "Except for the fact that she has the worst temper in the world, yeah, she is."

"Where are they then? Shouldn't they be here by now?" Leila asked Alex.

"She phoned a while ago, apparently they had missed the bus. Harry doesn't seem to have any good influence on her when it comes to being on time…"Alex laughed.

"But whatever, it's their problem. Tonight, I just want to have fun and get so bloody pissed that I don't even know my own name, anyone joining me?" she asked.

They sat together, chatting and having fun for about twenty minutes, when the front door suddenly burst open and a short, pretty girl appeared in the doorway to the living room, wearing black, tight jeans under a short red skirt, a black tank top and a red headband in her hair. Her make-up was also red and black, black lipstick and red eye shadow. Her hand was locked with a young man standing behind her, wearing dark blue jeans and a tight black t-shirt. His sooth black hair was unruly and behind his glasses hid a pair of emerald green eyes that made your breath stop when he looked at you. You could see that he was a fit man, not fit the way of a body builder, but fit in the way of somebody who could run fast for a long time, somebody with litheness and endurance. Steve presumed that this must be Evelyn, and he understood what they meant when they said that she was beautiful. Her big, brown eyes sparkled with mischief and expectation, and even though she was rather short she had a body to die for. Lovely, filled lips and a long mane of rich brown hair. He caught himself staring for several minutes, and then he suddenly remembered that his just as lovely girlfriend was sitting right next to him. He didn't feel very guilty though, because he heard Ashley whisper to Leila:

"That one really has more than just a nice arse."

Ev stood in the doorway, searching for Alex in the crowd of people, and found her in the sofa.

"Hey," she said jokingly when she spotted Alex. "you've started without us!"

"Well," Alex said lazily from the sofa. "seeing that you and your _boyfriend_ was a bit late, Ev, we didn't feel obligated to you."

"Well, it's not my fault that some of us decided to have a snog minutes before the bus went." Ev said with an irritated look at Harry.

"Hey," he defended himself. "It wasn't only me. It's kind of hard to snog yourself."

"You started."

"And you continued."

"Well, what was I supposed to do?"

"Tell me to stop?" Harry suggested.

"It's not in my nature." Ev mumbled.

Alex laughed and rose from the sofa to greet them in the doorway. "You been together for three weeks, not married for three years." Then she eloped Ev in a hug.

"It's good to see you, girl, we've missed you these past weeks." Then she turned to Harry and surveyed him up and down critically.

"So you're the Harry who has stolen our favourite friend from us…" she said to him, pretending to be sulky. "You do understand I hope, that you need my approval to date Ev."

Harry smiled nervously at Alex evil grin.

"Sure," he said. "so you mean that without your permission, Ev will leave me?"

"Of course she will." Alex answered.

"Of course I will." Ev answered. Harry laughed.

"Good to know who I should blackmail then, if it ever happens." he said.

"He has humour, that's always good." Alex said to Ev. Then she turned to Harry again. "I'm Alex by the way, Ev's best friend and her number one bodyguard against cheeky guys who don't understand when they're not welcome." Harry shook her hand.

"Come on, I think we may have saved some booze for you." Alex said with a smile and walked over to the sofa.

-------------------------

Ginny tried to follow Alex, but Harry wouldn't move. She smiled slightly and whispered:

"They won't bite you, you know." Harry gave her a doubtful glance.

"Are you absolutely, a hundred percent sure?" he said and threw an other glance at the people in the room, a crowd of black leather, sprayed hair, rivets, black eye make-up and clothes in all different colours. Ginny just laughed and dragged him over to the sofa where she noticed many of her closest friends sat.

Ashley immediately threw herself around her neck, and didn't let her go for several seconds. She and Ashley were rather close after all, and they hadn't seen each other for a long time. When Ash turned to Harry, Ginny couldn't help but notice that she was looking at him in a way Ginny wished she rather wouldn't. Ashley made no secret of that she thought that Harry was good-looking; she looked at him for a bit too long and hugged him a bit too long too. Ash was that kind of girl who just wanted to have fun and meet guys, which was why she never managed to keep a relationship for very long, she always ended up two-timing.

"Hey, you did end up with him after all, Ev!" Ginny turned around and noticed Romain standing behind her, smiling knowingly.

"Ha," he said. "I knew not even you could resist a sex god like him, good thing you finally dropped your pride and found someone, you needed that."

Ginny smiled at him. "Yeah, I guess I did, I can't remember I've ever been this happy before." Then she hugged him firmly, knowing that Romain was one of the few persons on this earth who could see through her and understand what it really was that she wanted and needed.

Harry turned to them and gave Romain a sceptical look, probably remembering their last meeting. Romain only laughed though and pulled Harry into a hug, before he disappeared in the crowd of people on the dance floor.

She and Harry sat down on the floor by the sofa, seeing as there was no place left on the couch. Ginny made herself comfortable in Harry's lap and reached out for two beers and gave one to Harry. She took two big gulps in one go, letting the warmth of the alcohol spread through her body. The first hour all she and Harry did was answering questions about how they met, what they had done and things like that. She guessed that her having a boyfriend was a rather big sensation, she had to explain at least half a dozen times. What irritated her at most was that almost every girl in the room couldn't get enough of Harry. They gave him flirtatious glances, laughed at every little joke and always wanted to hear his opinion about everything. When Simon joined them it calmed though, because he and Harry seemed to go on very well and Harry didn't talk to anyone except for him for a long time. Ginny had always thought that Harry and Simon would make great friends, Simon reminded her of Neville in many ways, and Neville was after all one of Harry's closest friends.

"So," she said when Simon had become too drunk to resist his girlfriend anymore. "what do you think of them so far? Not as dangerous as they look, are they?"

"Nope, not one bit. They are all very friendly, which is an abnormal quality these days."

"Told you so, even though Ashley and some of the girls are a bit _too_ friendly, I have to say." Harry laughed at her mockingly.

"Hey, is the beauty princess getting envious, half of the male population in here can't get their eyes of you, after all."

"It's not that bad." she said, hitting him playfully on the arm. Harry snorted.

"Yes it is. I'm a guy, and guys always check out who might be interested in their girls, and there is all too many for may taste…"

"Find someone uglier next time then." Harry laughed and pulled her into his lap. She put her arm around his neck and leaned her head against the side of his forehead. The familiarity of her movement was like a stab in the chest, how many times hadn't Ginny done the exact same thing? How many hours hadn't he and Ginny spent in front of the Gryffindor Common Room fire like this?

"Nahh…I'm getting awfully found of you, you know. I think I'll stick with you for some time."

"You better." she mumbled. Harry leaned forward and kissed her softly on the lips, lingering for a bit before he moved his lips against hers. Ginny turned her head into a better angle and locked her hands around his waist. She slipped her tongue inside his moth, running it over his teeth and moved it against his. Harry had on of his hands safely around her waist, the other one cupping her cheek. He broke the kiss slightly, but the caught her bottom lip and sucked. She moaned aloud, knowing that nobody except Harry would hear it because of the loud music. Ginny had been drinking rather much tonight, and she knew that the drunker she got, the hornier she got. For the whole day she had felt the sexual tension between her and Harry increase, and even though they had a quick shag in the shower, it hadn't helped that much. They both hated to rush, they needed to feel everything before they were satisfied. Their first time had been a good example of that, once hadn't been enough. That was why Harry's hand was far up her skirt before she broke off, realizing that she wouldn't be very popular fucking her boyfriend in the middle of a party when everybody was watching.

"Come on," she said and broke of his protests. "let's dance for a bit, it helps to…err…clear your mind, you know." Ginny grabbed his hand and drugged him off to the dance floor. One thing she had learned about Harry was that he wouldn't go near the dance floor as long as he was sober. When the alcohol had softened him up a bit though, he actually enjoyed it.

Ginny held on to his hand as they danced, smiling at him. She silently wished that this party would end soon, even though she had a great time she just wanted to be alone with Harry tonight. They were dancing close, occasionally their legs or hips touched, and she was very aware of his gaze following her moving hips. She couldn't look him into the eyes, she was rather sure that if she did she would attack him right there on the dance floor, so instead she kept her eyes locked on his chest. Not that that was a bad sight, she loved to see his muscles working under his black t-shirt when he moved his arms. She took a step closer and breathed in his scent, a mixture of after-shave, alcohol and something more she couldn't really place. Fresh autumn air maybe, it reminded her of flying.

Ginny sighed and took a step back once again, a flaming desire had arisen inside of her being so near him, making her blood boil. She really couldn't understand how she was able to walk around for three years with out ever being with Harry, now it was a torture only waiting a couple of hours. She met Harry's gaze for a moment and she had a feeling that her eyes had the same dark, wanting look.

Some songs lately they left the dance floor, sweaty and panting, making their way over a group on the floor including Alex and Simon. Four or five people were sitting in a circle, and Brian was handing out cards to the other ones.

"Playing poker again? Honestly, if you continue at this pace you'll end up ruined, living on the streets all of you." Ginny said, rolling her eyes. Especially Alex and Brian were caught up in playing poker, every time they were together you could see them with cards in their hands.

"You know we won't, our stakes are never high, only some pounds." Brian retorted.

"That's no guarantee, is it? Not when it comes to you and the way you throw the little money you earn around yourself." She said, but Brian only shrugged.

"Hey, mind if I join?" It came from Harry, who was looking at the stack of cards with a longing look, as it was one of the most tempting things in the world.

"Of course, just sit down!" Brian said happily, giving Ginny a triumphant look, as if he had won.

Alex grinned at Harry from across him. "That's a real good one you have found, Ev. Good looks, humour and somebody who understands the thrill of playing poker, which some of us haven't." she said, giving Simon a meaning glance.

"The thrill of loosing money you mean." Simon said behind her. Just as Ginny, he was very sceptical against his girlfriend's passion. Ginny gave him an approving smile and sat behind Harry, with her elbows on his shoulders. She looked at the cards Brian had given him and could tell that he was doomed. She expected him to decide to not play, but to her surprise Harry took up his wallet and threw a note on the floor. Glancing at his wallet, Ginny felt a hard stab in her chest. She grabbed the purse without him noticing.

Harry three had pictures in his wallet, one of him, Ron and Hermione, sitting by the lake at Hogwarts maybe in their fifth of sixth year. Ron was sitting closer to Hermione than Harry was, and somehow it made Harry look a bit put out. Another one was Harry's parents wedding picture, with James, Lily, Sirius and Remus. For some reason Peter wasn't in the picture, even though she knew he had been there originally.

But it was the last and biggest one that made her lose her breath for a second. It was her. She was sitting in a swing under an oak tree at the Burrow. It was a good picture of her smiling happily to the camera, it was taken in the autumn when all the leaves were golden brown, and the sun shone from behind her, glistening in her hair. She remembered that picture, Charlie had taken it during her fifth year. She never used to see Charlie that often, so when he had visited the Burrow that autumn she had gotten permission to go home for the week-end. Ginny fought to keep the tears from her eyes, remembering when she had given it to him. Harry, Ron and Hermione had left to searching for a Horcrux right on Christmas Day. She remembered waking up early in the morning, knowing that he was leaving and that she didn't have anything to give him for Christmas. Out of desperation, she gave him the picture, hoping that he would have time to think about happy, normal things sometimes. Harry had been moved by the picture, and had kissed her hard on the mouth. That was the only time that year Harry had kissed her in front of the others, and that day she had really believed that they would be okay. Voldemort would die and she and Harry would love each other to eternity. The dread hadn't taken over her body yet, her head was still a place without Tom, and the guilt had not yet infected her. All that came later, much later. Life had still been hopeful then, not beautiful maybe, but hopeful.

Ginny swallowed and looked at the girl in the picture, at the open, smiling face. If that was Ginny Weasley, then she really was dead. It felt as if hundred years had passed since that photo was taken, she no longer knew herself. Ginny had really believed that she would die before the last battle, and she now felt that she really had died that night. Her betrayal to the Order, Malfoy's rape and the whole fight. It had killed her.

Ginny looked up at Harry. Here she was once more, sitting with Harry and wanting to never let him go. Maybe it would work out this time, maybe there was a chance for them after all.

"What is it? You look funny." Harry had turned his head and now looked at her with a concerned expression.

"Is that her?" She showed him the photo. Harry looked at it and, for a moment, pain emerged in his eyes.

"Yeah." He said. She looked down at it once again.

"She was beautiful." She said. Harry nodded.

"Yeah, and I was to bloody stupid to realize that before it was almost too late." he said with a voice filled of bitterness. Harry took his wallet from her and stared hard down at the picture.

"I wasn't worthy Ginny. I gave her nothing but pain, ignoring her and leaving her out. And then I killed her." He was talking tonelessly, as if these were words he had heard many times before, inside himself.

"How many times do I have to tell you Harry, she chose the risk to die to be with you. It wasn't your fault, she made that choice herself."

"I let her die. I didn't protect her as I should have done." The game had stopped, everyone was looking at Ginny and Harry now.

"Who is Ginny?" Alex asked softly, looking uncertain, as if she didn't know if she was allowed to ask. Harry passed the photo to her.

"Ginny was my girlfriend. She died three years ago in a fight between me and some people that had been my enemies since my birth. I loved her, more than I ever showed, and I've been rather distant to my friends since then."

Alex nodded, while frowning at the picture.

"She looks familiar, somehow. But I don't know where I've seen her." Alex said. Ginny swallowed, knowing that she was risking her secret identity right now. Simon looked at the photo from behind Alex. He gasped when he saw her, and Ginny knew why. She and Simon had been close friends after all when they were kids, but they lost contact when they grew up.

"Did you…did you say her name was Ginny?" Simon's voice was shaking. Harry nodded.

"Not Ginny Weasley, right?" Simon continued. Harry looked at him, surprised.

"Yeah, that was her name." Simon grew paler.

"Did she live in Ottery St: Catchpole? With a big family, like six brothers or something like that, all older?"

"Yeah. She had six brothers. How do you know, did you...did you know her?" Harry said, looking as if he couldn't believe what he heard.

Simon nodded. "I think I did. I lived in Ottery when I was a kid, and she was one of my playmates. We met a lot when we were younger, then she attended a boarding school when she turned eleven, so we only met during the summer. And the summer I turned fourteen, we lost contact completely. She just seemed to disappear, I never saw her again." Everyone else had stopped playing and was listening to what was said.

"Yeah," Harry said. "That sounds probable, 'cause her whole family and I went into hiding that summer. She wasn't in Ottery that summer."

Simon looked at Harry and swallowed. "What did you say happened to her? Did she really…err…you know, die?"

Harry looked at him sadly, and then he nodded slowly. "She never even turned seventeen."

Simon closed his eyes, not saying anything. Alex took his hand between hers, stroking in gently not really knowing what to do. Everyone else was completely quiet.

Then Simon suddenly opened his eyes. "So _you're_ Harry Potter?!" Harry looked at him questionably, not answering.

"Ginny could never, ever shut up about you! It drove me crazy, all she could talk about was what Harry Potter had said, what Harry Potter had done, what clothes Harry Potter had been wearing, if Harry Potter had looked at her. She had one big crush on you mate, she had even planned your wedding!"

Harry was smiling. "Did she really talk about me that much?" Simon nodded.

"But she got you in the end, then?" Simon asked.

"Yeah, but it took me some time. I was too thick to even notice her."

"Believe me, Ginny would have waited her whole life for you." Ginny felt guilt rise inside her. It had been true that she couldn't talk about anything else but Harry when she was with Simon. But she hadn't waited for Harry her whole life, she had left him to save herself, something she couldn't dream of doing when she was eleven. She wrapped her arms around Harry's waist from behind, leaning her head against his right shoulder. This time was different, she thought, now there wasn't any war or Voldemort, this time she wouldn't leave him and break his heart once again.

For the rest of the party, Harry and Simon almost only talked about Ginny, which made Ginny feel rather uncomfortable. It was a funny feeling, hearing people talk about yourself thinking you were dead.

They left the party late, almost everyone was gone. Ginny knew that she had stayed too long to be able to control her drinking, so she could hardly walk home. Harry wasn't any help either, he was just as pissed as she was.

"Ev, I l-love you…you're like the air I breathe, I can't stand you…no, I mean, I can't live without you. I…I'm like a dead m-man without you…you can never understand how grateful I am…" Harry mumbled, leaning against her as the walked.

"Stop it Harry, you know you only say that because you're pissed…"

"NO! It's not some usual drunk-talk, I really _mean_ it..."

"What ever you say, baby. I'm just glad I've found a man with such a sexy arse."

Harry snorted. "So you admit it then, you're only together with me because of my looks?"

"Of course, aren't you?"

"I'm not together with myself, thank you very much!"

"You know what I mean, admit that you're only with me because of my looks!"

"Well," Harry said slowly. "you do have very wonderful breasts, I have to say. I noticed that the first time I saw you."

"Is that the first thing you look at when you see a girl? Her breasts?"

"Of course, what else is there to look at?"

"You horny thing! I can't believe you really admitted that…"

"Relationships are based on honesty, didn't you know that, baby?" Then Harry crushed her mouth with his, cutting of her answer. Ginny had to admit, that even if Harry had problems moving his legs, his tongue didn't at all seemed to be affected by the fact that Harry was completely drunk.

**A/N:** This chapter wasn't really necessarily, but it was fun to write. And fun to read, I hope.

**Coming in Chapter Eight:**

"I hate to admit it, but I've lied to you. There is a huge part of my life that you don't know anything about. What I've said about my life and family is really just a little bit of the truth."


	9. Ch 8: There Must Be Two

**A/N:** Hello again. Hope you all are well, I am, and here comes the next chapter. The title is taken from a song by Lars Winnerbäck, my favourite absolutely favourite artist. The title of the song means in English "There must be two"

I've actually been a good girl, 'cause I've gotten myself a beta. Or, the other way round. My beta came up with the suggestion herself that she could read it before I post it, something I'm extremely grateful for. So, I think we all should go down on our knees and kiss carolquin's feet, because she helps me making this story better.

And don't forget to review!

**Chapter Eight: There Must Be Two**

_He knows how you smother the loneliness,_

_He knows how you throw away all you have,_

_He knows how you flee from this planet,_

_But he doesn't know how to stay._

_He wants to burn as it burns,_

_when it fries and melts._

_He wants to feel as if feels,_

_when it collapses and overturns._

_There are many ships to burn_

_and it's far to every shore. _

_He really wants to feel,_

_really wants to reach the shore._

_- "Måste vara två" by Lars Winnerbäck_

"Evelyn dear, I'm sorry to say that I don't give a damn about what colour his eyes are." Mariam, the other cook at the Greek restaurant, said. "I've been married five times, so I know what I'm talking about. If you're thinking about getting serious with a guy, there are two things that are important. One, he should be rich, so you don't need to spend your time working at a dump like this. Second, he should be nice to you so you don't spend all your time in the kitchen or doing the laundry. If he fulfils these requirements, then you are free to do whatever you want with your life as if you weren't married at all. All this about soul mates and love is just bullshit, and if he's not good in bed you can always find yourself a lover."

Ginny laughed at what she said knowing that she wasn't completely serious. Mariam was a short, dark woman who almost always had a smile on her face. She reminded Ginny about her own mother, she loved everybody she met and had a temper that you shouldn't play with. But she wasn't as conservative as her mother, and she talked openly about everything with everybody. During the year that Ginny had worked in the restaurant, she had often confessed her deepest feelings and problems to Mariam, who always had advice to give.

"But he is rich, Mariam. He hasn't told me everything about his job, but he is some kind of agent, and that pays a lot of money. He's not a millionaire or anything but he doesn't need to fight for money every day. And you have to believe me when I say that I haven't met anyone else in this world that respects me like he does. He treats me like a princess."

Mariam raised her eyebrows and leaned against the refrigerator. "Weren't you the girl who hated to be treated like something fragile that had to be protected?"

Ginny smiled sheepishly. "Well, he doesn't treat me like someone who can't take care of herself and needs protection. It's just that he shows me attention all the time because he thinks I'm worth it. He is just perfect."

The older woman smiled warmly at her. "I'm glad that you have found someone, Ev, I really am, but just be careful. I have seen too much to ignore the fact that this world is full of idiots."

Right then, Ginny heard the door bell ring, which meant that more lunch guests had arrived. She moved to go out to the front of the restaurant, but Mariam stopped her.

"Don't worry dear, I'll take care of them." she said and walked out of the kitchen. Ginny sighed and sat down on the only chair, stretching her feet. She worked in the restaurant between nine and four, and for almost all the time she stood up or ran around. She never had time to rest her feet, which was why they hurt so much.

Mariam came back into the kitchen. "Three Greek salads and two Souvlakis." Ginny grimaced and stood up, beginning to prepare the food. Even though it was hard work, she liked working in the restaurant. She was good at cooking, something she had inherited from her mother. While cooking, she could let her head rest while her hands were occupied with something. It was easier to think, she saw things more clearly then. Ginny was rather sure, that if it hadn't been for this kitchen, she would have had a harder time confronting all the problems and memories from her past life. And now her past life had caught her again, and she wasn't sure what to do next, stay or run away?

"What is it, dear? You look worried?" Miriam's concerned voice sounded from behind her, where she stood chopping tomatoes.

Ginny sighed. "I don't really know. Everything feels just wonderful, but I still feel helpless, kind of. I know that I would do everything for him, and that scares me. I hate it when I don't have full control over something."

Miriam nodded at her words, and continued to chop the tomatoes before answering:

"That's the thing about love, giving up yourself for somebody else. It's hard and it hurts, but that's life. It's a choice you have to make. I can't tell you what to do but if you let the fear take over, you will have a hard time recovering again." Ginny didn't answer, she just turned the meat over.

"Do you love him?" Mariam asked.

Ginny hesitated before answering. "Yeah, I… I guess I do."

"Well then, that's easy. Go for him, maybe it's hard, but you will hopefully be happy in the end."

"I guess so…" Ginny sighed.

"And hey, if he's got money too, then I don't see why you're even hesitating." Mariam said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Well, I'm simply scared that he will leave me, that's all."

"Let me tell you something, dear." Mariam said firmly. "If he leaves such a wonderful girl like you then he's not even worth your toenails, much less your love. But you have to choose. Either you will be with him or you won't. Love is a game and you can't always be the winner." With that, she grabbed three plates and walked out to the restaurant. Ginny stood still for a second letting her words sink in before she grabbed the last plates and followed her out.

-----------------------

Harry yawned. He was sitting at boring lecture with the rest of the Auror department, listening to a man with a long beard who was talking about the newest discoveries about the psychical consequences from Unforgivable Curses. He knew all about what the man talked about, he was after all the Auror who had rescued most victims who had suffered from Unforgivable Curses during the War. When he started as an Auror, he never thought that there would be so much to do that didn't consist of missions. Such as writing reports, going to stupid lectures and attending boring suppers with the Ministry.

Blocking the old man's voice out his thoughts drifted off to think about Ev instead. It would be some time before he saw her again, he hadn't seen her since Tuesday morning and today was Wednesday, so she worked at the nightclub tonight. Harry couldn't believe that it had almost been a month with this wonderful girl. Nobody could make him laugh like she could, nobody made him feel so wanted as she did, nobody made him feel so precious as she did and nobody made him feel as home as she did. He loved Ev, he knew that now. At first he didn't want to think about the word love, it scared him actually, but now he felt glad that he had someone to give his love to. Somebody who was alive.

There was one thing that bothered him though, and that was that he lied to her. He knew that he couldn't tell a muggle stranger about the wizarding world, but Ev wasn't a stranger anymore. Harry knew that he should tell her, he owed it to her, but he was scared that she would get angry with him for keeping it from her. One thing he had learned about Ev was that you should be honest with her, or else she would explode. Harry bit at his nails. He trusted her enough to tell her so he guessed that it was just as good to tell her straight away. Not tonight though, she would be at the nightclub, but tomorrow should do fine.

People around him suddenly began to get up and move out, apparently the lecture was over. Harry grabbed his bag and used his elbows to get to the exit. He knew that there were loads of people in here would like to discuss the matters of the lecture with the great Harry Potter, so they could brag about it later. He really wasn't in the mood to act nice to people who only sought a minute in the spot light. Once he got out of the building and into the spring sunlight, he took a breath. The warm rays from the sun spread calmness through his body, releasing the stress that was building up due to that lecture. Life was quite wonderful, after all, he thought.

Harry apparated to his flat and threw his bag onto the couch. Brewing himself a cup of coffee he sat down to read the Daily Prophet. His eyes skimmed over the pages; there was nothing that caught his interest. The Minister of Magic had been seen with prostitutes according to some guy, an old lady in Torquay claimed that she had been attacked by vampire squirrels and the famous Quidditch chaser Julia Bowie, Pride of Portree, was getting married to the guitarist in the Weird Sisters. He sighed and closed the newspaper.

Suddenly he heard a noise behind him and he turned around, wand in hand. When he only saw Ron's face in the fire though, he put it in his pocket once again.

"Merlin, mate, you really need to relax. Even if you don't believe it, there is a little promille of the world's population that don't want to kill you…." Ron said.

Harry only shrugged his shoulders. "What do you want?"

"Well, Hermione and I thought it's been long since we saw you, so how about if you come over to dinner with us tomorrow, say around seven?"

Harry bit his lip. He had planned to make everything clear with Ev tomorrow night, he had already waited long enough. He hadn't talked to her about it yet but he didn't want to call it off even so. He felt that if he didn't tell her tomorrow then he would never build up his courage to do it. But what should he tell Ron?

"Ehh…thanks for the offer mate, but I'm kind of busy tomorrow night…" he said unsurely.

Ron raised his eyebrows. "What do you mean busy, have you planned staying late at work as usual? Come on mate, you need to have fun sometimes!"

Harry became irritated by Ron's answer, he shouldn't accuse him for working too much. Ron didn't know anything about what had happened in his life. Harry knew that Ron hadn't had any chance to understand what was going on, but he was so tired of people pitying him and trying to cheer him up.

"No Ron, I'm actually having dinner with a friend."¨

"Who?"

"No one you know."

"Harry, not to be rude or anything, but you haven't been very outgoing these last years, so I'm quite sure that I know most of who your friends are."

Harry gritted his teeth, pressing down the growing anger and irritation. He didn't want to fight with Ron today.

"Actually Ron, I do have friends that you've never met. But I guess you and Hermione have been too occupied with your perfect life and perfect family to notice that my world contains more than only you." Harry knew that he was being unfair, but when he was in this kind of mood, Hermione and Ron usually just let him be. And Ron did so this time too.

"Alright, alright, I give up. But some other time, eh?"

Harry nodded.

"Good. See ya, mate." And with that, Ron's head disappeared from the fire.

Harry looked at his watch. It was too early to meet Ev, he knew that Alex and Ashley would keep her occupied for the whole afternoon until she began working at the pub. They thought that he had "stolen" their friend away from them so he knew that he probably wouldn't be allowed to talk to her until she started working tonight.

---------------------------

"But don't you think that could be possible? I've always thought he was a bit strange, so I think it's obvious." A man was sitting in the bar, trying to convince Ginny that the British Prime Minister was an international terrorist, with connections to Al Qaeda. Well, Ginny thought, there are maniacs and worse maniacs. This one seemed to belong to the latest category, with the rest of the less normal guests who visited the club.

"Could I get a pint, please?" A blond guy asked Ginny.

"Sure." Pouring the beer, she glanced at the man. He was rather cute with blue eyes, and he had a dimple in his left cheek, she noticed when he smiled shyly at her. Ginny could see that he was eyeing her cleavage, which wasn't very unusual. She was wearing the same corset she had been wearing when she met Harry here, and it exposed her breast in a way her mother wouldn't approve of. It was a part of the job here though, the owner had explained that the guests often stayed at the bar if there was something interesting to look at, and then they drank more.

"Here you go." She said to the blonde man, and he smiled in thanks to her. He was just about to open his mouth to say something, when Meg appeared behind Ginny's shoulder.

"Ev," she squirmed. "there is this absolutely gorgeous guy asking for you at the back door. He was so cute, I can understand if you wait three years to have somebody like him. Good God, those eyes. I could die to get a guy like him…Anyway, he wants to talk to you. I'll take over while you're away."

"Thanks Meg." Ginny said, and dashed out to the kitchen. Cruising between the different storage boxes on the floor, she wondered what Harry wanted. He had never come to the club just to talk to her.

She reached the back door and peered outside. Harry stood at the bottom of the steps with his hands deep in his pockets, looking embarrassed. Ginny guessed Meg had been a bit too flirty with him, she often was. She couldn't help but smile though, it was so typical Harry, to not be able to face a bold girl without blushing, but facing fighting Death Eaters and murderers all the time without thinking it was scary.

"Hello handsome." She stepped out into the door way. Harry looked up at her and smiled.

"Hello gorgeous." This had become their traditional way to greet each other, the same way as they had done in the café.

Without saying anything else, Harry walked up two steps so that he stood one step below her, his head at the same level as hers. He grabbed her around her hips, and immediately pulled her in for a kiss. Ginny put her arms around his neck, responding his kiss. She had missed this, it wasn't awfully long since she last saw him, but it felt ages ago. It was both scaring and wonderful how happy his kisses could make her, and how much she longed for them when he wasn't there. Harry finally pulled back after a long time, smiling softly at her.

"Missed me?" he asked.

"Like hell." she said, and then pulled him in for another kiss, although this didn't last as long as the last one.

"Not that I mind snogging you, but I don't know if this is the wisest place to do it." Harry said with a grin. Ginny leaned her forehead against his.

"Why did you come, by the way? I don't think it only was so that you could get a snog…"

Harry laughed. "No, actually, I wondered if you were free tomorrow night, I have something I need to tell you."

"I'm always free on Thursday nights, you know that."

"Yeah, except for the times when your friends steal you so I can't see you…like today."

Ginny smiled, had he come all the way here just to make sure she was free the next evening? He really was the cutest guy she had ever met…

"So, are you free then?" Harry asked. "I'll even make you that disgusting tofu-thing that you love…"

Ginny raised her eyebrows at him. Harry really detested her vegetarian diet, like most men he said that he needed meat. He really had to be desperate if he agreed to eat tofu for dinner.

She leaned forward and kissed him on his lips. "Sure, baby. When should I come?"

"As early as you can." Harry said with a grin.

"I'll come as soon as I've finished work then, so we can cook together. I don't really trust your cooking you know…"

"I know, you have said so several times."

A few minutes and kisses later, Ginny left Harry and returned. She realised that it was much more enjoyable to live if she knew that she would meet Harry soon.

---------------------------

Harry looked nervously at his reflection in the mirror. Today was the day he would tell Ev everything, about the magic world, his parents, Hogwarts and what really had happened during the Final Battle. He was extremely unsure about how she would react, would she get angry at him for lying to her? Or what if she reacted as the Dursley's, and thought that he was a freak? The last alternative made him feel sick, nothing made him more scared than to imagine the look of utter disgust on her face when she found out that he was a wizard…

He couldn't lie to her anymore though, it hurt him to be dishonest with her when she so willingly told him everything. He thought about the night when he found Ev outside his door, sobbing and screaming from her nightmare. Had he ever shown his deepest and darkest secrets to her that way? Maybe not really like that, but he had a feeling that Ev could sense his sorrow and loneliness when he was angry or depressed.

_God_, he thought, _where would I be if I didn't have Ev?_ His other life, with the endless days where he only lived inside himself longing for Ginny, seemed so far away. It was only a couple of weeks though, but it felt like a great deal more.

Harry heard the doorbell ring, and did a last check in the mirror. Not that he thought his appearance would change Ev's reaction anything, but still. He wanted to look nice for her. Taking two deep breaths, he walked over to the front door and opened it. The sight of Ev made him smile; she never stopped surprising him with her clothes. Today she was wearing a yellow dress with black dots, and under the short skirt, fishnet stockings. She didn't have very much make-up, just eyeliner.

"Do you mind moving from the doorway so I can get through?" Ev's words lifted him out of his trance, and he moved away.

"Thanks" she smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "How was your day?"

"It was fine, but it's better now when you're here." he answered.

"Really Harry, you spoil me with all your compliments." she said as she moved into the kitchen.

"But it's true, I can't lie to you, can I?" Ginny only smiled at him and kissed him on the lips again, lingering longer this time.

"Should we start cooking then? Knowing you, it will probably take hours…" she said.

"Hey, what's wrong with my cooking?" he retorted, pretending to be hurt.

"Nothing, love, the problems is that you don't have much patience and often begin to do other things while cooking. Things that distract me." Ev said as she took out things from the refrigerator.

"It's not my fault that I happen to like kissing my girlfriend…"

"And it's not my fault that you happen to be totally hopeless with cooking. Here, start chopping the mushrooms."

------------------------------

Harry leaned back against the back of the chair. He would never admit it, but the tofu actually tasted rather good, once you've got used with it. He took a sip from his wine, surveying Ev over the top of his glass. She had her elbows on the table and her face in one of her hands, and the wine glass in the other, with a dreaming expression on her face. Ev lifted her head out of her hand and idly brushed a lock of hair out of her face, which was looking out the window.

Harry looked down at his hands, he knew that he should tell her now. He sighed inwardly and stood up. Ev looked up at him when he rose.

"Come on, let's go and sit on the couch, there is something I need to tell you." he said and stretched out his hand towards her. She only nodded.

They sat down on the couch in the living room, facing each other. Harry stroke his finger over the wine glass, wondering how to begin. He had been preparing for this the whole week but now that the moment was here he had no idea what to say. Why had he gotten himself a muggle girlfriend? Why couldn't he be like normal twenty-year old guys who fell for every good-looking girl they met? Why was _his_ life always so complicated?

"Harry, are you ok?" Ev soft voice brought him back to the normal world. Ev was leaning forward, with her hand on his knee. He smiled at her.

"Sorry, it's a bit hard for me to tell you this, I have no idea how you will react. I don't know where to start."

"How about the beginning?" she smiled. Harry looked at her and realised that he would have to tell her about the Dursleys too, they did in fact play a big role in his life.

"I hate to admit it, but I've lied to you. There is a huge part of my life that you don't know anything about. What I've said about my life and family is really just a little bit of the truth." Ev was frowning a bit but she didn't say anything, so he continued.

"My job, my family, my friends, Ginny's death, my parents' deaths, my whole life is not what you think it is. My flat doesn't even look like you think it does. I've lied about almost everything to you."

"But why are you telling me the truth now then, if you lied to me before?" There was a hint of distress in her voice, but he knew she tried to hide it.

"'Cause it's illegal for me to tell this to a stranger. Before, in the park when we met for the second time, I didn't know you as well as I do now. I had to lie to you, I didn't know who you really were. But I know now, so now I can tell you. I should have done so earlier I guess, but you know me."

"Yeah, always postpone the problems until later…" she smiled.

"Now that you know that I had to lie to you, I hope you won't get angry. I hated to lie to you, I really did."

"I understand Harry, just get on telling me." she sounded impatient.

"Very well. My childhood wasn't so very wonderful, you should know. My parents died, and I had to live with my aunt, uncle and horrible cousin. They hated me, or maybe not Aunt Petunia, but she was too scared of my uncle to take care of me properly. I had to sleep in a cupboard under the stair and wear Dudley's old clothes, which were way to big for me. They never abused me or starved me or anything, but my life was a hell. My life had no meaning what so ever. Then I met Hagrid, the caretaker at my school, and he changed my life completely."

Ev reached out and took his hand. "How?"

"He showed me a whole new world, a new life. He was the first friend I ever had."

"Harry, you're not making much sense. What do you mean with a new world?"

Harry hesitated and bit his lip. Should he just say how it was or approach it slowly? He took a deep breath and said:

"Ev, what would you do if I said that magic existed?" At first her expression was just blank then it changed to look a bit disbelieving and a bit amused.

"What's this," she said "Candid Camera?"

Harry smiled, it was so typical Ev, to fire a joke when she didn't know what to say.

"Come on, Ev. I'm trying to be serious here."

She gave him a fake frown and laughed. "You're trying to be serious at the same time as you state that magic actually exist? Way to go, Harry…"

Harry sighed. This wouldn't be easy. He grabbed her face on either side, so that she looked straight into his eyes.

"I know this sounds crazy, I didn't believe it the first time Hagrid told me I was a wizard, but it is true. That's why you haven't met any of my friends, they are all magical, like me. The wizarding world hides from the normal world, that's why you haven't heard about it before." Ev was looking serious now, her expression was a mixture of disbelief and doubt.

"Do you mean that you can do magic, like Gandalf in the Lord of the Rings?"

Harry laughed. "Not really. My wand is quite a bit smaller than his and I need to speak incantations for things to happen. Tolkien was a wizard by the way, he was a high respected member of the Ministry of Magic who dealt with muggle affairs. He thought that it would be fair that the muggles experienced magic too, so he wrote books about it. Not that hobbits exist, though."

"Wait a moment please, Harry:" Ev was looking totally confused. "you're totally serious when you say this, are you? And what's a muggle? Ministry of Magic? I'm not at all keeping up with you…"

"Sorry." he smiled softly at her. "Yes, Ev, I'm totally serious. I'm not a maniac or anything, this is true." He hesitated for a moment. "Would it be easier for you to understand if I show you?"

Ev looked unsure, then she nodded. "Okay." Harry pulled out his wand from his pocket.

"What's that? A wand?" she was eyeing his wand sceptically.

"Yeah. Holly, 11 inches, with a single phoenix feather."

"What's a Phoe-"Ev began, but Harry silenced her.

"Later. Now, say something I should do."

Ginny only shrugged her shoulder. "I don't know what you can do."

Whatever, Harry thought. He looked around and his eyes froze on a cushion in the armchair. Levitating a pillow wasn't all too frightening, was it?

"Look at the red pillow, over there." He instructed Ev. His hand trembled a bit when he lifted the wand. What the hell would Ev say when she understood that he was a wizard? _Well,_ he thought, _there is no turning back now._ He swung his wand in the all too familiar way he had done since his first year at Hogwarts and whispered:

"_Wingardium Leviosa_" The pillow immediately rose two feet in the air, and Harry heard Ev gasp. He looked at her. Her mouth was half open, her eyes open wide, totally transfixed by the sight before him. Harry slowly lowered his wand, and the cushion sunk back onto the chair.

Ev's mouth was closed now, but she looked completely shocked. Harry didn't know what to say, so he watched her eyes travel from the pillow to his wand, back to the pillow and then to his face.

"But…" she said; her voice thin and trembling. "But…how…I don't understand…" her voice trailed away. Harry reached out and stroke her cheek.

"I know it's a shock, Ev, but it really does exist. There is a whole world you never have experienced, hiding behind your normal world."

"But how?" she said again, sounding more indignant this time. "How can I have lived for almost twenty years without noticing that magic exist? This just can't be true."

"You haven't noticed because the wizarding world didn't want you to. We hide ourselves from the muggle world, using spells that makes us invisible for muggles."

"What's a muggle?" she asked again.

"People like you. People who can't do magic. We call them muggles."

Ev breathed out and then in, then she looked at him. "I can't believe that this is actually happening…it just feels so unreal."

"I know. I felt the same once. But you do believe me, don't you?" Ev nodded slowly.

"Good, then I can continue. So, I was eleven the first time I learned about magic. It was Hagrid who told me about it, and shortly after that I enrolled Hogwarts. And Hogwarts wasn't a usual boarding school with posh kids, as you thought, but a school for kids with the ability to do magic. There I met Ron and Hermione, my first real friends in my own age. Our little trio became some kind of a legend at Hogwarts. Later, I would meet Ginny too, who became closer to me than anyone."

Harry sighed, now came the sad part.

"Even if this whole school was unusual, I soon understood that I was different from the others. Apparently wizards and witches all over the world knew of me. The thing that was special with me was what had happened when my parents died. I've told you about Voldemort, right? The guy who's responsible for my parent's deaths?"

Ev nodded, listening carefully.

"Well, he was a wizard too, a bad one. He had taken the wrong paths in life and had become some kind of evil creature instead of human. He and his followers, Death Eaters, tortured and killed both wizards and muggles. No one escaped him. Some peoples organized themselves trying to stop the Death Eater, but nobody could stop Voldemort. Then one day, when I was only one year old, Voldemort came to my parent's house…" Harry made a brief pause, thinking about the event that had marked him forever. How much hadn't been different if Voldemort hadn't existed? He would have grown-up with his parents and he would have Ginny alive by his side.

He felt Ev slip her hand into his and squeeze it gently. _I wouldn't have met Ev,_ he thought. Harry looked up at her and smiled a little. He knew that he would go through killing Voldemort millions of times, if it meant that he could be with Evelyn.

"He killed them." he continued. "First my father, and then my mother. Then he turned to kill me, but the Killing Curse fired back at him. No one really knows exactly how, but I think it was my mother, who scarified her life so that I could live. Love was something Voldemort never would understand. He couldn't touch it, it destroyed him."

"It's like a fairytale, isn't it? A little baby who destroys an evil wizard, because he's loved." Ev said.

Harry smiled. "Yeah, I guess it is…and from what I've heard parents often told their children stories about "The Boy Who Lived", as they called me, at bedtime. When I came in contact with the wizarding world I felt little and unsure, because everyone knew more about me than I did…"

He continued to tell her the rest, about his time at Hogwarts, Dumbledore and Snape, Ginny and the Final Battle. And that he was an Auror, not an agent, even thought they were about the same thing. Ev seemed to take it all quite good; it seemed as if after the shock from him levitating the pillow, she would believe everything he said. She wasn't angry at him for lying to her, and she didn't think he was a freak, like the Dursleys had. Overall, Harry thought it had gone smoother than he would think it would. But he hadn't told her everything that was to be revealed this evening.

--------------------------------

It had been hard, to act as if she was shocked when he told her about magic. Ginny knew that she had good acting qualities, it had saved her from her mother's wrath several times as a young child, and she had trained very much these past years pretending to be somebody else. But pretending to know nothing about magic had been the hardest thing she had ever done. What would somebody say who had never experienced magic? She had grown-up with it, she didn't know how it was to live with the conception of a world where magic didn't exist. Harry didn't seem to suspect anything so she guessed he believed her.

"Honestly, do you mean that you had subject like Potions? And Transfiguration?! My God, that's just mad…did you learn how to use a crystal orb too?" Ginny said laughing.

"I did actually take Divination for three years, but then I dropped it after my OWLs. I didn't find it very useful…" Harry said. Ginny only laughed harder.

"I can't believe it…It's unfair, why should you go to a school with such funny subject, when the rest of us had to learn useless things like maths…" Ginny said.

"To tell you the truth, I wasn't a very motivated student, especially not when it came to Potions and History of Magic…"

"History of Magic? My God, I've always hated History…but really, wasn't it rather interesting, to read about great wizards and things like that?" Ginny laughed. She had detested History of Magic when she went to Hogwarts, with the rest of the student population.

"No, not one bit…and we didn't read about wizards or things like that, all I can remember was that we learned about the goblin insurgences and the war between the different giant tribes…I would never have past that subject if I hadn't been friends with Hermione. She really saved Ron and me with her notes…we always fell asleep during class." Harry said.

"How were they? Ron and Hermione, I mean?" she asked gently. She wanted to know everything she had missed when she was away.

"The best friends you could ever have." Harry answered his voice full of emotion towards his two best friends. "They never let me down, and stood by my side all trough the battle against Voldemort. I wouldn't have been able to kill him if they weren't there every minute. To some, Ron seemed to be a bit thick, but I haven't met any man in my whole life who could think tactical the way he did. He always knew how to cheer me up, and he was the typical Gryffindor. He was prepared to die for me, if he had to. Hermione was maybe a bit bossy, but her brain really is extraordinary. She was the one who understood how we should track down all Voldemort's Horcruxes. I'll tell you what a Horcrux is another time, because it's so complex. I guess she kept me and Ron sane the last years, she was sensible and knew what had to be done when I and Ron just wanted to give up."

"It's always been obvious that Hermione and Ron liked each other, except for themselves. They went around arguing and bickering for years, until they finally admitted that they were in love with each other. They married two years ago, a year after the battle. Nobody deserves happiness more than them."

Ginny only nodded while Harry was talking, she liked to hear about her friends. She knew that they had married, she had seen the note about it in _the Daily Prophet_. She had cried that whole morning, happy that they finally were together and sad because she hadn't been there to experience it.

"They had a daughter a year ago." Harry suddenly said. Ginny's head shot up to look at him, she hadn't known that.

"What's her name?" she asked, trying not to sound too eager.

"They named her Ginny, I was furious when I found out." The fact that Ron and Hermione had a daughter and had named the little girl after her stabbed her right in her chest. She had to muster up all her self-control to not start crying. For a whole year there had been another little girl wandering around on this planet with her name. It felt strange to think that when Hermione and Ron now talked about Ginny, it wasn't her, but their daughter. In one way, she felt honoured, but mostly, she felt mournful. She had never been able to admit to herself how much her disappearance must have hurt them. Ginny could clearly see now how selfish she had been. Of course she hurt, still did, but she had had no right what so ever to bring her family all this pain.

"I was furious when I found out that they had named her after Ginny. Every one else was happy about it, but I hurt so much when I look at their kid. She is a wonderful kid, it's not that. It's not right to name a kid after her dead aunt, and then think that the pain will go away. 'Cause it won't, at least not for me. They all have somebody to turn to, Ron and Hermione have each other, the twins have their wives, Luna and Neville have each other, and Ginny's parents have each other." Harry's eyes were two green pools of anger and grief. His hand was grabbing his glass of wine tightly, Ginny was afraid it might brake. _What have you done, Ginevra,_ she thought, horrified. _You can't go on living this lie, you have to tell him sometime, he's hurting to much._

"But I have you of course." He suddenly said, looking at her a bit more brightly. "Really, I'm okay now. But I wasn't okay for three years, and that tends to mark you a bit." He sighed and looked at her intensely. "Who are you?"

"What do you mean?" Ginny asked, afraid that he might get suspicious.

"I've know you for almost a month, Ev, and we have spoken about almost everything there is to talk about, but I still feel…that, I don't know…that there is a part of you that I don't have access to, if you understand what I mean."

Ginny smiled sadly at him. He was right, there were loads of things that he didn't know anything about. Harry didn't know who she really was, of course, but it wasn't only that. He didn't know exactly how much she still suffered from Tom, and from her nightmares where Tom completely had taken over her. He didn't know how Malfoy had raped her, how he had stolen the last bit of dignity from her. Harry didn't know how much he had hurt her, when he had pushed her away from himself during the last year of the war. He knew nothing about that, yet.

Ginny sighed again. "There are…events…in my life, that I'm not ready to tell you about right now. But one day I will, Harry, one day I will."

He only nodded; content with her promise.

"And who are you to talk about hiding things, I had no idea that my boyfriend could do magic, since one hour ago." She said trying to cheer up the mood.

Harry grinned at her. "Yeah, I guess I'm not a success on that part either…another thing we have in common."

Ginny moved closer and laid her legs over his lap and leaned her head against his shoulder.

"Speaking about that, there is something else I need to tell you, Ev." Harry said. Ginny looked up at him, surprised. What was it more that Harry had been hiding from her? She couldn't think remember that there was anything left to tell her. He had told her everything about his past now, hadn't he?

"Oh, what? About how you worked for Candid Camera for three years?" she teased. Harry slapped her playfully on her thigh and snorted.

"I've never worked for Candid Camera, ok? Get that fact into your head…" He said. She just smiled at him playfully, waiting for him to continue.

"It's something seriously, okay? I don't know if you think it's to early for me to tell you this, or maybe you don't feel the same way, but that doesn't matter. Or well, of course it matters, but it's really important for me to tell you this because…I…I never told Ginny this, and I think that is one of the reasons we were slipping away from each other back than…I'm quite sure that she knew about it after all, but I never told her, and that mattered. So that's why I'm telling you now."

Ginny just sat silently, wondering what he was talking about. What had she known, that he never told her? She reached out and took Harry's hand and squeezed it slightly. Harry looked down at their joined hands and sighed once more.

"When I lost Ginny, Ev, my world died. Everything just went black and I really didn't care about my life. I just lived because I had to. I did many things I shouldn't have done, drank too much, I began to take drugs and wondered around in the city, not having anywhere to go. I didn't take care of myself, because it didn't matter to me. Then I realised that it would have mattered to Ginny, so I decided to at least try to live. And I did. I didn't work very well though, I may have laughed from time to time, but I was never truly happy. Then one day, I sat down at a bar, and the bartender was a lovely girl who began to speak to me. I wasn't in the mood for speaking, but I talked to her even so. You see, there was something about her that sparked my interest, and the more we talked, the more I felt drawn to her. Suddenly I realised that I was more relaxed than I had been for three years. I couldn't remember that I had had such a good time and laughed as much since Ginny was alive."

Ginny was sitting absolutely still. It was such a strange feeling, hearing Harry talk about her, thinking she was dead. Harry looked her straight in the eyes and squeezed her hand before he continued.

"I met her again, and then again. I fell in love with her, and everything was as it had been before, with Ginny. I was happy again, Ev, and I realised one thing. I had lost Ginny, and that had been the worst thing in my whole life. I decided to do anything I could to keep this girl with me. I wouldn't make the same mistakes as I did with Ginny, that's why I'm telling you this now."

Harry stopped once more, looking her intensely into the eyes. Ginny's throat was completely dry, she wasn't able to say anything, but she realised how much it must take from Harry to tell her all this. He had never been good at expressing his feelings.

"I never told Ginny this properly, although I think she knew even so…but that wasn't enough, it tore her apart. Evelyn…I…I'm not good at this, but I need you to understand. To understand that you're the most wonderful thing that has happened to me in three years. And Ev…I need you, I need you to stay. With me. In the beginning I was too scared to admit it to myself, but now I'm actually happy about it. Because you see…Ev…I think... I _know_, that I love you. It's only been a month, but I know even so. I love you, really Evelyn, I do."

Whatever she had thought Harry was about to say, it wasn't that. She could only remember a couple of few times during their last relationship that Harry had told her that he loved her, but here Harry was, confessing his love after only seeing her for a month. His green eyes bored into her in such a way that it made her cry. Even though Ginny's whole inside was full of happiness and love for Harry, there was a little part of her that was scared. She was now at that point that she had promised herself to never find herself at again. She knew that she loved him still, but it didn't matter what she did, the part of her that still was wounded from Tom, was telling her that this was wrong. She would get hurt; he would leave her once he found out about the truth.

"Ev?" Harry said gently. Ginny looked up at him, she had almost forgot that he was there. "You okay? I didn't mean to make you feel bad, I just wanted you to know…if you don't feel ready…or if you don't…I don't know, but it's fine for me Ev, if you don't feel the same…"

He was looking so lost and confused that Ginny couldn't help but smile. She laid her fingers over his lips, and he stopped talking immediately. She removed her finger, and then she kissed him gently and softly.

"I do, Harry. I do love you, don't worry." She smiled at him at again, and a sob escaped her lips.

Harry was smiling at her words, but his eyes still held confusion in them.

"You do?" He asked, sounding as if he didn't believe her. She nodded.

"But…then why are you crying, baby? What's wrong?"

She sighed slightly. "It's nothing important, Harry, don't worry."

"You almost never cry, Evelyn, but when you, it's because of something important. Tell me." there was a hint of annoyance in his voice. She sighed once more, and buried her face in his shoulder.

"You remember what I told you the first time we met? About how I was scared of you?" She asked. Harry didn't answer so she continued.

"I guess I'm not completely over that part yet. I thought I was, but I'm not. Hearing you say that you loved me…it was the best thing that has happened in years. But at the same time, I'm scared that I will get hurt. That you will leave me, or die. I can't get rid of those thoughts."

Harry stroke her shoulder.

"I know, Ev, it's the same for me at times. I'm still a bit uneasy but I'm willing to take the risk because I'm feeling better than I have in years."

"I'm willing to take the risk too, have been since I met you the second time, but you know…I still think about it."

Harry lifted her head from is shoulder with his hand so that he could look her into the eyes.

"I promise you Ev, that I won't leave you. I'll stay here for you, protect you, take care of you, and love you. Grow old with you. Try to survive for you. I promise Ev, I really do."

Something broke inside Ginny at this word. _If only he knew…_ She didn't let anything show though, only smiled and kissed him, because she didn't know what to say. Harry's hands around her body made her feel safe and forget her worries. Soon the kiss deepened and the passion increased. The warmth from his confession about his love for her spread over her whole body, and she couldn't remember that she had been this aroused ever. It didn't take long before they were both half-naked, kissing every part of each others bodies that they had access to. She forgot to be scared, forgot that he didn't know who she was, forgot that he would probably leave her forever when he knew the truth.

-----------------------

**A/N:** I know, I'm evil. You thought that Ginny would tell Harry the truth in the chapter, but no. You'll have to wait! Oh, I just love to torture you all. Now leave a review, and maybe, I'll update a millisecond faster. :D

**In chapter Nine:**

_"So Potter, you finally showed your disgusting face along with the rest of the world?" Ginny immediately tensed up, she knew that voice. It had been the last voice she had ever from the wizarding world, and apparently it was going to be the first one too. _


	10. Ch 9: Her Smile Brushes My Face

**A/N: **Hello there. I'm not in a very good mode today. Firstly, I'm ill, I've had a fever and I'm very tired. Secondly, my favourite band, _The Ark_, whom I've quoted in several chapter, have won the Swedish finals to the Eurovision song Contest. And I really don't like that, because usually it's only boring artist who compete in that contest, but for some reason _The Ark_ decided that it would be fun to try. And of course they had to win too! So, if you live in Europe, I advice you to look at the Eurovision Song Contest (I usually don't) and especially look at Sweden's song, _The Worrying Kind_. It's really good, it's not that. I just don't want them to become even more well-known, because then they maybe won't come to my little town to play any more. And that would be really sad. (I'm going to their concert in April, lucky me!!! WIIIIIEEEEE)

Okay, over to more important matters. Once again, I'd like to thank my beta, carolquin, she's been a wonderful help! The title is from _The Cure_ this time, I simply love that band. Now read and enjoy!

**Chapter Nine: Her Smile Brushes My Face**

_The night turns as I try to explain  
Irresistible attraction and orbital plane  
"Or maybe it's more like a moth to a flame?"  
She brushes my face with her smile  
"Forget about stars for a while... "  
As she melts..._

"_Jupiter Crash" by the Cure_

Harry whistled softly, making his way towards Ev's flat. It was almost a week ago that he had told her that he was a wizard. It had gone smother than he had thought it would, she didn't find him weird or anything. Actually, she had been very interested in everything that had to do with the wizarding world. She wanted to know everything about Hogwarts and his past life, she had especially asked about the Weasleys and Hermione. But he guessed that he had been just as curious when he found out about the wizarding world. It was probably perfectly normal to ask so many questions, even though Harry didn't really understand why Ev was so interested in Ginny, Ron and Hermione's daughter. She had asked absolutely everything about her and about Ron and Hermione's wedding. But it was probably a girl thing, something that he would never understand.

Anyway, as soon as he had explained Quidditch to her, she had begged him to take her to see a Quidditch match. He had known that Puddlemere was going to play against Tutshill Tornadoes this weekend, but he hadn't thought that he could get tickets to go to it. It was a long time since he had dragged himself out of his flat to do something fun, but now he really looked forward to Quidditch again. Ev didn't know anything about it though; he hadn't known that he would get tickets until last night. He had simply persuaded a guy at the Games and Sports Department to give him two tickets, using all the power he had over people because of his title as The Boy Who Lived. Harry didn't like using his fame that way, but some times it did come in handy.

When he had climbed all the way up to Ev's landing, he didn't bother to ring the bell. He simply stroked the handle with his index finger and the door opened by itself. He knew that Ev was at home, she had complained accusingly to him yesterday that she didn't have anything to do this day, except to work in the night, and every one of her friends was busy. Harry had pretended that he was occupied too when in fact he had planned to surprise her in the morning with the tickets.

Harry walked through the kitchen and into the room that worked both as bedroom and living room. She wasn't there, but he could here the water running in the shower. Sitting down on her bed in the corner, he surveyed the room and breathed in her scent from the bed. He felt safe and at home here, even though it was so different from his own home. Everywhere in the room were traces from Ev, a pair of trousers thrown into a chair, a cup of cold coffee on the night stand, her red strands of hair left on the pillow, her small shoes on the…_What?_ He suddenly thought, his eyes turning back to the pillow. There lay three strands of golden red hair, spread over the pillow. For a second or two his heart stopped, and Harry heard himself stop breathing, even though he didn't register it.

_What the hell?_ He thought, shocked to death. _This can't be happening, this really can't be true. Why is there red hair on Ev's pillow, when her hair is brunette? Has someone else been sleeping here? With her, perhaps? _His heart froze. What if she had had a guy in her room, a man with long red hair? Would she really do that to him?

"Harry?" A soft voice spoke from the door. He looked up. If he hadn't been in such a state, he would have paid more attention to her appearance. Ev stood in the doorway to the bathroom, her brown hair black from the wetness, with a towel wrapped shyly around her body.

"Why are you here?" She asked, concerned. "Is there anything wrong?

Harry looked at her for a second without speaking. For some reason he decided not to bring up the strands of hair, he didn't know why, but something inside of him told him not to. Instead, he just grinned broadly at her, as if there wasn't a slightest problem in the whole world.

"I'm fine. Perfectly fine, actually." He said, still grinning.

"Oh," Ev said, nodding slightly. "But why are you here, weren't you supposed to have lunch with the muggle Minister of Defence?"

"Well…" Harry said. "Let's say that I didn't find that meeting so very important anymore when I got these yesterday. " He held up the tickets in front of her face. There had actually never been a lunch meeting, he had just come up with it to be able to surprise her.

"You managed to get tickets?" Ev squealed once she had read what they said. Laughing, she threw her arm around his neck, holding on to the towel with the other. "That's wonderful, how did you get them?"

Harry laid his arm around her slim waist and smiled mysteriously at her.

"Sometimes, I'm happy that I'm The Boy Who Lived."

---------------------------------

Ginny was standing unceasingly in front of a gigantic stadium, hearing the cheers from the spectators. She was here again. In her own world, her real world. Was she home? Or was this just a visit to what once was the world she knew as an innocent girl, when the guilt and shame hadn't yet eaten her? When she still believed in eternal love? Would this world ever let her be apart of it again, tell her that everything was forgiven and forgotten?

"It's magnificent, isn't it?" Harry said from behind her. He must have taken her temporary muteness for awe of the stadium.

"Yeah, it's amazing."

"Come on, the VIP-section is on the other side. It's a bit of a walk."

"VIP-section?" Ginny asked as they began to cruise between the masses of people. "We're sitting in a VIP-section?"

"Of course, you're the most important person in the world." Harry said.

"The hell I am." She retorted and slapped his arm playfully.

"To me you are." Harry said seriously.

"Really?"

Harry snorted. "Of course, who else comforts me at five a clock in the morning, just because I feel a little sentimental?"

She laughed and stopped to pull him against her. He kissed her hard and wanting, not letting go for a long time. This was one of the things she loved so much with Harry, the unexpected, the sudden impulses he got. She knew that that was one of the qualities that had made Harry such a good warrior in the war. He had never hesitated to save anybody; he had simply rushed straight into the battle without thinking twice. Of course, that instinct had placed him in some rather dangerous situations too.

She leaned in to kiss him once more, letting her hands roam freely over his back. They were both so full of the moment, that neither of them noticed the flash of light that went of nearby.

"Hey, we really should get going, or we'll miss the whole match." Harry laughed as he pulled back from her embrace. She nodded. They continued walking, and Ginny noticed that several people were staring openly at Harry in a rude way. She got the urge to hiss at them to mind their own business, but on second thought, she realised that that wasn't such a good idea. Ginny had completely forgotten how people were so interested in Harry, how they never let him rest. She realised that the fact about her existence wouldn't be a secret tomorrow.

They reached the man who took their tickets, and began to climb their way up to their seats. The VIP-section was on the absolute top row, to give the guests such a good view as possible, and probably to offer them some privacy, something that Ginny was very thankful for.

She couldn't help but gasp when she looked at the pitch; she had forgotten that it was so huge. And the masses of people that were here, it was a bit of a shock, seeing so many wizards and witches at the same time after three years without seeing anyone.

"I knew you would love it." Harry said from beside her.

"I don't think I've seen so many people at the same time in a very long time." Ginny answered, trying to sound more amazed than she actually was.

"I know. And the game hasn't even begun yet."

"Do they really fly on brooms?" It was odd, she was used to be the one that was asked about things in the wizarding world by Harry, not the opposite.

"Yep. I can take you on a broom ride some time, if you want."

"What if I fall off?" Ginny asked, trying to sound doubtingly.

"You won't. But the possibility of doing it makes it just more fun." Harry said.

"You really do search for danger, don't you?"

"No, danger searches for me."

Ginny didn't answer, because just then the players flew out onto the pitch. She was speechless as she gazed at the players, soaring through the air. Ginny suddenly wished to be one of them, to feel the wind in hair. She remembered her Quidditch days back at Hogwarts, flying had been one of the few things she was really good at. She had felt beautiful and happy, up in the air.

Ginny was so caught up in her old Quidditch memories that she hadn't even noticed that the game had begun. Tutshill Tornado's chasers were flying towards the opposite goal post, passing the Quaffle between them so fast that you couldn't see it. One of the chasers flew underneath the one with the Quaffle, he passed it to her, and the chaser aimed for the posts. Puddlemere's keeper caught it.

"WOOD CATCHES JACKSON'S SHOT, AND THE QUAFFLE IS NOW IN THE HANDS OF PUDDLEMERE'S ABBEY!! The commentator roared. Ginny jumped when she heard the name Wood, did he mean Oliver Wood, Harry's old Quidditch Captain? She remembered now that Wood had signed up for Puddlemere, but she had no idea that he had come this far.

"It's wonderful, don't you think?" Harry said from behind her. He had his arm around her waist, and leaned his chin against her head.

"Yeah…I must admit that it's far better than football." Ginny said.

"Football?" Harry snorted, sounding offended. "You muggles really don't know anything about sports."

"Well, I can say that you wizards really don't know anything about safety. You're already hundreds of feet up in the air, but that's not enough for you. So you have those big, black freaky things flying around, knocking you off your broom."

"As I said, it's the risk of getting killed that makes it more fun."

"I think I have just discovered that my boyfriend is a maniac." Ginny teased. Harry smacked her arm.

"And you're a maniac dating me."

"Guess I am, but being crazy only makes life more interesting, don't you think?" She asked and turned around to kiss him. "It gives you a different perspective about things."

Ginny really enjoyed being at a Quidditch match again, it made her feel easy and forget her worries. Of course, she and Harry teased and kissed just as much as they looked at the match, this was just a perfect day. She was happy, Harry was happy and they had each other. Ginny enjoyed being close to Harry just as much as she enjoyed the match. Really, they could have gone to a boring lecture about flowers or old wars or something else just as uninteresting and she would have enjoyed herself even so.

Puddlemere won with 320-210. Their seeker caught the snitch after three hours, it had been fluttering rather near her and Harry actually, so Harry had seen it before the seeker had.

"Come on," he said when the match was over. "you don't need to get to work soon, do you?" She shook her head.

"How about if I take you to Hogsmeade village near Hogwarts?"

"That would be brilliant!" She exclaimed.

They begun to move down the stairs, but that was easier said than done, everyone wanted to get out at once so they ended standing in the same place for several minutes. Ginny could feel that other witches and wizards were looking at her. After all, she didn't look anything that they were accustomed to, not even in the wizarding world. She was wearing the more classical punk look today with worn jeans with ripped holes on both of her knees, a black tank top with a white skull on it, and over that a white fishnet-top. Her eyes were framed with black eyeliner and tags that reached her cheekbones, red eye shadow, and her lips were dark red.

"So Potter, you finally showed your disgusting face along with the rest of the world?" Ginny immediately tensed up, she knew that voice. It had been the last voice she had ever heard from the wizarding world, and apparently it was about to be the first too. She and Harry turned around at the same time, facing the leering smile of Draco Malfoy.

"So it's you again. Long time no see, ehh? I've had such a good time without you around Malfoy. Don't want to offend you or anything, but I really didn't miss you." Harry spat. Ginny still stood in the same way as before, she couldn't believe it. The last person she meet from the wizarding world when she left would be the first one she met when she returned, apart from Harry of course. It was so ironic that it was almost hurting. She couldn't believe that that monster in front of her had raped her, when she was completely wandless. It took all her self-discipline not to vomit onto his black, elegant robes.

"Can't say I've missed you much either, the only thing we have in common." Then he turned his superior gaze towards Ginny. "So Potty, you have finally found yourself another girl. I can see that she apparently only goes out with you for the money, just look at those trousers, can't even afford to buy a new pair. You've always liked poor girls, haven't you? I guess they were the only one you could ever get, no one else was enough desperate."

Hearing Malfoy insult her that way made Ginny boil with anger, and she found her voice again.

"If I even had been interested in your opinion, I would have asked. I didn't, so keep your mouth shout or I'll twist your balls until you don't even know how to insult any more. Or maybe your mother never taught you any manners?"

Malfoy merely lifted an eyebrow. "I can see that her mouth is just as filthy as that Weasley's was. You really never had a good taste in girls, Potter."

"At least I'm better than you Malfoy. Do you remember at Hogwarts when you promised Pansy Parkinson that you would buy her half ofHoneydukes if she went out with you?" Harry laughed sarcastically, and then he dragged Ginny with him away from Malfoy to the next exit.

"Who was that?" she asked as they stood in the queue, even though she knew perfectly well. She was still shaking from the thought that she had met that _creature_ that had been inside of her.

"Draco Malfoy." he answered. "A guy I have hated since I first saw him. Was always nasty towards me and my friends, especially Hermione. I know that he joined the Death Eaters in his sixth year, but I have never gotten enough evidence to frame him. I don't think I have ever heard him say something nice about anyone, so don't bother about what he said to you."

"You know I don't."

"Yeah, I do. So, Hogsmeade next, then?" Harry said in an attempt to lighten the mood. They had finally gotten out of the stadium, and were walking slowly towards the apparition points once more.

"Yes." she answered and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

----------------------------------

There was no doubt that Ev liked the wizarding world. She had cheered and shouted along with the rest of the spectators on the match, and she squealed with delight when she first set her eyes on Hogsmeade. It was a rather calm day in Hogsmeade, not many were out, and they managed to find a quiet corner in The Tree Broomstick to cuddle in. He felt as if he had found the answer to everything about life, sitting drinking butterbeers with her hand in his and her head leaning against his chest.

They had been wandering around the village, visited Zonko's, the Shrieking Shack and Honeydukes. Then suddenly rain had started to fall from the sky and they had fled towards Three Broomsticks. Madam Rosmerta had been surprised to see him there again, and had eyed Ev curiously all the time, although she didn't seem to dare to ask her if she was his girlfriend.

"I like this village." Ev said. "It's all cozy and beautiful. Everything seems to be so clam and quiet."

"I thought you were the type who liked cities that were filled with life and new things happening every day, like London" he said.

"Well, I am, but sometimes I like to come to places like this. Just to relax a bit, you know."

"Mhmm…" he mumbled, with his nose in her hair. The softness of her hair suddenly disappeared as Ev leaned forward, reaching for her drink. He watched considerately as Ev took a gulp of her butterbeer, before putting it back on the table in front of them, and immediately drying her mouth with a serviette afterwards. Harry smiled at the action, remembering that Ginny always dried her mouth after drinking butterbeer or pumpkin juice, just like Ev was doing now. When he had asked her why, she had just shrugged her shoulders and asked him why he always ran away from her to save people who weren't his to save.

"You're more like Ginny than I thought." He said.

"What do you mean?" Ev said quickly. Was there a hint of alarm ness in her voice?

"She always used to dry her mouth after every gulp of butterbeer or pumpkin juice, even though it wasn't needed.

She smiled at him. "Maybe that's what England's witches should do to capture your heart. It must mean something; it can't just be a simple coincidence."

"Maybe. But I'm very satisfied with you right now." He said and kissed her softly on the mouth.

After a few minutes of innocent kissing, he pulled back and said:

"Do you wanna see Hogwarts before we head home?"

"Of course I do, there is no need to ask." Ev said eagerly.

They walked out of The Tree Broomsticks and walked the path up towards Hogwarts Castle. The closer he got, the more his head filled with memories. A life that seemed so far away. Was he really the same man as the boy who had walked this path only a couple of years ago, nervous that the date wouldn't go so well or eager to get to Honeydukes before everyone had emptied the shop? What had changed him? Was it the fight against Voldemort or Ginny's death? He suddenly realised that he had never taken Ginny to Hogsmeade on a date. But they hadn't been going out officially for more than a couple of weeks, though. The of-and-on relationship they had kept secret in the old farm didn't count, really.

He didn't realise that they had reached the edge of the Hogwarts grounds until he heard Ev gasp at the magnificent castle before her.

"You went to school _here_?" she asked after several seconds of silence.

"Yeah. The best school you could ever go to." He answered.

He steered her away from Hogwarts and towards the black lake. There was a special place he had in mind to show her. His and Ginny's place, the tree in front of a cliff, facing the lake. They had spent many happy lunches and afternoons there. Where they were just Harry and Ginny, two teenagers in love. This place, those moments, they had been his only way to breathe, to feel that his heart was still beating. And then they were taken away from him.

"Harry?" Ev's soft voice said from beside him. "What are you thinking about? You look so lost."

He turned and smiled slightly. They had reached the tree.

"Only memories." He said. He looked around, it looked just as it used to. "This was where Ginny and I used to go, when we needed to flee the rest of the world."

Ev only nodded slightly, she seemed to understand the moment's seriousness. Harry lay down on the grass, and motioned for her to do the same. She did so, taking his hand, staring up at the sky.

It felt funny to be here again, so many years later, with another girl. Life hadn't been simple then, life wasn't simple now, but he had had Ginny, and now he had Ev. He couldn't believe how much his life had changed since he met Ev, he felt like the Harry he used to be when Ginny was alive. He really didn't feel any difference from being with Ev, except for the obvious differences between the two of them, like the appearance for example, they were really quite much alike. Very much alike, actually, when you thought about it. Harry guessed it simply was because he needed and fell in love with special kind of girls. He actually didn't bother to think about it, all he needed to know was that she was his, and he was happy.

"I love you." He said out of nowhere.

"Oh," Ev turned her head and smiled at him. "Is that so? Well, I guess that's a good thing, because I'm rather found of you, you know. Actually, I think I'll plan to keep you my whole life."

"You do, do you?" He smiled at her, and reached out with one hand to stroke her hair. "That sounds like a good idea to me. I could stay like this forever."

"Yeah, me too." Ev whispered.

He reached forward and kissed her slowly, lingering. _This is life_, he thought, as he broke the kiss and rubbed his nose against hers.

"You're so beautiful." He whispered, closed eyes. "It hurts to look at you."

Harry felt her smile.

"And you're so sweet that it hurts." She replied. Harry laid his arm around his waist and pulled her body against his. He wanted nothing, longed for nothing. He had everything.

"Will you stay with me, Ev? Forever?"

She kissed him. "Yes. Forever. Will you stay forever with me?"

"Yes. Forever."

---------------------------------

**A/N:** Apart from the obvious, did anyone notice the **huge **mistake Ginny did in this chapter? If you didn't, you will just have to wait…It's quite hard to find actually. Hope you enjoyed the chapter, now give me a review!

**In chapter Ten:**

"_I think you will find some very interesting answers to what we discussed earlier in there." Ron said shortly. She could tell by his voice that he was indignant, but that he didn't really know if he was angry or happy. Hermione propped herself on her elbow while reaching for the paper. She only had to take one glance at it before she gasped loudly. Whatever she had expected, it was not this. _


	11. Ch 10: It's not murder, it's an act

**A/N:** Sorry for the long wait, but something happened when I sent the chapter to my beta, it didn't reach her or something. Or it was me who forgot to send it. Stupid, stupid me. Hope you're not too angry…Anyway, carolquin was amazing and sent the chapter back to me almost the same day, so thank her for saving the day!

This is chapter ten, so now we've come half the way…only ten chapters more to go! I hope you will enjoy them all. Now read, and for goodness sake, don't forget to review! I got tons of reviews on the last chapter, and I was so happy! Loved every one of them! So don't forget it this time.

**Chapter**** Ten: It's not murder it's an act of faith, baby**

_You can hear it in the beat they march to  
And you can feel the earth shake when they start to dance  
You can tell by the way they move you  
It's not murder, it's an act of faith, baby_

_- "Godspell" by the Cardigans_

She never wanted to be perfect. The world just assumed that she was the way she was and liked herself. The hell she did. Hermione never wanted to be the girl everyone looked at, not envious, but still conscious that they could never be like her. She had become the smart one, the good one, the nice one. When she was little, her mother's friends always used to look at her kindly, saying: "You're so grown-up and mature for your age." Later, they would smile plastic smiles, saying: "You're such a nice and responsible girl, Hermione, always helping your mum." Hermione had hated them all, hated them for telling her that she was someone she detested.

How many times had she been laying in her bed at Hogwarts, wishing to be someone else, someone cool and daring. Hermione wanted to shock everyone at Hogwarts, showing them that she wasn't only Hermione-the-swot. "Then do it," Ginny told Hermione when she was complaining, "Voldemort isn't here to tell you what to do, do what you want!" She had never understood why Hermione was so fussy about it. But Hermione knew that Ginny was too restless, too beautiful and too reckless to understand her. Ginny had been the kind of girl that every guy fell for, but many were too shy to actually ask her out. She wasn't prettier than everybody else, even though she looked good with her fiery red hair and soft brown eyes. No, it was something more, the laughs that so easily escaped her lips, the way she walked down the corridors at Hogwarts as if she knew that they were built only for her. How the room seemed to be lighter when she entered and how easy it was to read her feelings, those eyes of her that contained both love and fury at the same time. Especially when she looked at Harry. No one had been surprised when they suddenly kissed in front of everyone in the Gryffindor Common Room. They both were so unpredictable that you expected them to do something like that, so that the whole school saw. Hermione herself would never have dared to kiss Ron in front of the whole school. She was scared that they would think she was pathetic.

That was why the Yule Ball had been such a release for her. Hermione had known that she didn't look to bad, as long as that frizzy hair wasn't in the way. When she stepped into the Great Hall, her arm linked with Viktor Krum, she had for the first time in her life felt special. She had gotten her revenge on all those times people had looked past her, thinking that she was good when you were doing homework, but otherwise no one that you should count.

And that was also why she loved Ron so much. The way he adored every bit of her, that he knew all about her hidden qualities, and had seen them when others had turned away. Ron had always seen Hermione as a special girl, he had thought beyond her books and bossy appearance.

Hermione lifted her head a bit, surveying the objects of her thoughts. It was a Sunday morning, so they were having a lie-in. Or more correctly, she was having a lie in and Ron was sleeping as long as he used to do. His colleagues at Games and Sports had become used to seeing him shuffle in at least one hour late every morning, with his hair all tousled and the rest of his breakfast in his hands. They didn't complain however, because since Ron had started working there, things had gone better. Ron was an extremely creative person, at least when it came to Quidditch and Wizard Chess. He had lifted the whole department, which had been rather down since Ludo Bagman had been in charge. People had always thought that Ron was a bit thick, but Hermione knew he wasn't. His intelligence lay in another area, where people like her didn't really fit.

"Good morning. You're already awake, as usual." Ron was looking at her with half-closed, sleepy eyes.

"Of course. You're rather early for a Sunday." she replied.

"Well, I thought that the earlier I wake, the more time will I have to look at you." Ron said with a hoarse morning voice. Hermione smiled and kissed him. He was too sweet.

"So," she said. "any plans for today?"

Ron yawned. "Not really. Maybe we could invite Harry over, it's been a while."

"Yeah, it has."

"Is it only me, or hasn't Harry been acting strangely these past weeks? He's much more open now, you know. He talks about other things than only work and no longer walks around with that dark, pained look. And at the same time, he seems to be busy all the time. Do you remember that he was having dinner with a friend on Thursday, and I mean, since when does Harry have dinners with friends that we don't know?"

"I see what you mean. He does seem happier, doesn't he?" Hermione agreed.

"Yeah. I'm really confused. Just a month ago he still refused to say Ginny's name, and now he suddenly talks about everything."

"Actually, he is beginning to become like he was when…well, when Ginny still was alive, don't you think?"

Ron nodded.

"Do you think that something has happened that we don't know about?" Hermione asked quietly.

"There must have…" Ron sighed.

"But why would Harry keep it from us, we always share everything!" She exclaimed.

"Oh come on Hermione, we all have our secrets. It's obvious that Harry's feeling better, and we should be happy for him. A happy Harry is better than a sad Harry, right?"

She smiled. "Yeah…I know. It's just...odd. Since Ginny, we've always been closest to him, and suddenly nothing is like it used to be…"

Ron stroke her arm. "Life changes, and we just have to accept that. Hey, how about egg and bacon for breakfast?"

"If you make it?" She said, snuggling deeper into the sheets.

"It's always me who cooks the food around here, you can't even boil a bloody egg! You have to admit that?" Ron said teasingly.

"Yeah, yeah…I do, if it will make you fix breakfast faster."

Ron sighed and threw the sheets way from his body. "You're hopeless. You'd be starving if it wasn't for me…and Ginny we shouldn't even speak of."

"Don't talk so much, Ron." Hermione mumbled her mouth full of her pillow. "Talk won't make the breakfast, so just get your sexy little arse out of this bed, because my stomach is screaming for food."

Still mumbling, Ron stumbled out of bed and into the room next door, to check on their daughter. Hermione happily closed her eyes, trying to go off to sleep again, so that she would experience waking up with Ron close to her once more.

She had almost gone off to sleep, when Ron came bustling in, turning on the lights so it hurt in her eyes.

"Turn of that bloody light Ron! I'm trying to sleep."

Ron didn't answer. Instead he dropped something on the bed. She opened her eyes even more, and found out that it was the newspaper.

"I don't want to read that now, Ron, I just wa- "

"I think you will find some very interesting answers to what we discussed earlier in there." Ron said shortly. She could tell by his voice that he was indignant, but that he didn't really know if he was angry or happy. Hermione propped herself on her elbow while reaching for the paper. She only had to take one glance at it before she gasped loudly. Whatever she had expected, it was not this.

On the front page, there was a big headline that read: _**Has Harry Potter finally found love**__**again?**_ Under that, there was a big photo of Harry standing behind a girl, with his arm around her. He was leaning down to her, and she had her head turned backwards, meeting his lips in a kiss. There were two smaller pictures too, one where they were walking with their arms around each other and another one where they were in the same position as before, but the girl was watching something and Harry was leaning against her hair, _smiling_.

Hermione was totally taken aback, when did this happen? How come she and Ron knew nothing about it? She skimmed through the beginning of the article. Apparently Harry had been at a Quidditch match yesterday in the company of an unknown young woman. After the match, they had apparated somewhere else. After that, the article went on about how Harry hadn't dated anyone seriously for three years, only on a few very official parties had he come with a lady friend, and all of them had had red haired. This was something new though, Harry's girlfriend wasn't a red-head and he wouldn't have gone to a Quidditch match with her if it only was to show the press that he was still dating people even though he wasn't.

Hermione looked at Ron, not knowing what to say.

"Well," Ron said. "I guess it must be true, there are pictures and everything."

"Yeah…" Hermione nodded. She looked down at the newspaper once more. She didn't recognize the girl, but there was something familiar about her, but she couldn't really place it. She must have remembered if she had met a girl like that, not only was she very good-looking, her clothes were rather special too. Hermione turned up her nose at the tank top the girl was wearing underneath the fishnet top, it showed almost all of her belly and breasts.

"I don't know who she is. Do you recognize her?" Hermione asked Ron.

"No, haven't seen her before...but there is something about her that I can't place, it feels like I should recognize her, but I don't."

"I know what you mean." Hermione answered. "Why do you think that Harry hasn't told anybody about her?"

Ron sighed and shook his head. "I honestly don't know. Maybe he wanted to be sure about their relationship before he told us. He knew that we would get all fussy about it as soon as we found out."

Hermione nodded, looking at the photo where they weren't kissing. It was that smile on Harry's face. She had seen it so many times, on her father's face when he looked at her mother, on Mr. Weasley when Molly prepared food in the kitchen, on Ron when he watched her study, on Hagrid when he danced with madam Maxime. And on Harry when he and Ginny were cuddling in front of the fire in the Gryffindor common room. She breathed in. If this girl made him happy, she guessed it as something good, even if he hadn't told them about it.

"Don't you think it's time to pay Harry a visit?"

Ron smiled a bit at her suggestion. "Yeah, it feels as if we have unfinished business with him, doesn't it? Come on, the eggs should be ready by now."

------------------------

Waking up beside Ev was always a very pleasurable feeling. Well, almost. Waking up beside a tired Ev with a big hangover wasn't as pleasurable as waking up beside a rested and sober Ev. This morning, was unfortunately one from the first category. After Hogsmeade, Ev had disappeared to her work at the nightclub. Harry hadn't wanted to end the perfect day just yet, so he had gone to Ev's flat, falling asleep in her bed. When she arrived sometime in the morning, she had woken him, and they had shared more beers than he could remember. The activities that had followed after that had been wonderful, but apparently Ev didn't like waking up naked, sweaty, with a throbbing headache and with her leg tangled in Harry's. A few curses and foul words had left Ev's mouth followed with her blaming him for her state and then threatening him to get the hell out of there before she cut of his tongue, so Harry thought that it was best to leave the scene before she did anything stupid.

Harry was glad it was Sunday, he and Ev hadn't woken up until sometime after noon, so he could take it easy today. The hangover hadn't spared him, so he wanted to get home as quick as he could, to take a potion that would take the sickness away. He fumbled to get up his keys from his pocket, and opened the door. He dropped his bag onto the floor in the hall, moving into the kitchen to find the potion. In the doorway, he stopped dead however.

His whole kitchen was full of people, who looked up at him when he entered, with half-amused, half-stern expressions. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were there, so were the twins and Ron and Hermione, with Ginny on her arm. Luna and Neville sat on the kitchen table along with Tonks and Remus. Harry stood still in the door opening for a while, getting over the shock. What the hell were they all doing here? Had something happened? Why the hell were they all so quiet, looking at him in that way?

"Ehhh…" He said, feeling uneasy when nobody said anything. He cleared his throat. "Has something happened, or what? Have you suddenly decided to celebrate my birthday two month early?"

Harry felt relieved when George finally stepped forward, apparently taking the lead.

"Well, you see my dear Harry, we all experienced a very interesting morning today."

"U-huh." Harry said, urging him on, still not understanding what this was all about.

"You see," George continued, "we have all felt noticed that you have changed this past month. Gone is the brooding, down and dull Harry who thinks life is about making it as miserable as you can. And at the same time, you're gone or busy all the time. We have overseen it though, thinking that you need time."

"It has even gone so far, that none of us were surprised when Ron-with-the-never-ending-stomach found a funny thing called _tofu_ in your fridge this morning. We had no idea of what it was, but Hermione kindly explained to us that it was some Japanese thingy that were mostly consumed by vegetarians. So we came to the conclusion that either you have suddenly found an interest in Japanese dishes, or that you have suddenly converted to vegetarianism."

Harry sighed inwardly, couldn't George explain anything without making a joke out of it?

"But then of course," George continued, with a smug expression on his face which told Harry that he was enjoying himself very much. "dear, sweet Hermione here came with another conclusion. You see, Harry, when we woke up this morning, we found some very interesting facts in our morning papers, which dear, sweet Hermione here immediately understood that it explained everything with your suddenly change in behaviour _and_ the tofu in the fridge.

Harry closed his eyes for a second, cursing his own stupidity. According to what George had said, the Daily Prophet must have caught him and Ev at the quidditch match. Why hadn't he thought about that? He was so used to the press following him everywhere, he should have foreseen it.

"It shocked us all, but there was no other explanation. So Harry, is it true or not?" George looked at him demandingly.

"I still don't know what you are talking about George. I haven't seen today's paper."

"Oh I think you can imagine." Fred said, but Ron reached behind himself and threw the paper at Harry. He didn't need to look at it more than a second. There were three pictures of him and Ev, and it was quite clear that nobody could mistake them for just being friends. He didn't care about reading the article, there was no need to. Harry threw the news paper on the sofa in the kitchen, feeling the irritation building up inside him. People wouldn't leave him alone for weeks now, everyone would demand of him to tell his side of the story. He had wanted to keep Ev to himself a little longer, to stay in their own world for some time. Now, he would probably spend most of his time explaining things.

"Is it true then?" It was Hermione who asked this time.

Harry snorted. "Of course it is. How else could those pictures be in there?" He said heatedly.

"You don't have to be angry with us, we haven't done anything!" She replied angrily.

Harry sighed and realised that she was right, they were just curious about it, they hadn't put the photo of him and Ev on the front page. And after all, he should have told them about Ev before, they had after all dated a month now.

"Sorry." He said. "I didn't mean for you to find out this way. I was going to tell you about her, but I just never got the guts to do it."

Everyone was silent for a while, until Remus spoke the question that probably everyone wanted to ask.

"Who is she?"

Harry sighed and sat down on the couch. "Her name is Evelyn Flynn. Works as a bartender and waitress. She is a muggle, but I have told her about our world."

"How long have you known her?" Ron asked.

"A month." He replied shortly.

"A month?" Hermione exclaimed. "After three years, you finally meet a girl, and you don't tell us about her existence even after a month?!"

"I …Hermione, this hasn't been easy for me. I wasn't sure about what I was doing, and I needed to tell Ev about wizards before I told you all…I just…I never got the chance until now."

Hermione opened her moth to reply, but Ron laid his hand on her arm.

"Leave it, 'Mione." She didn't look as if she liked it, but she closed her mouth.

"Not to offend you or anything…" Neville began uncertainly. "But really Harry, you've avoided social life the best you can for three years, refusing to date anyone, and then suddenly you appear in the Daily Prophet kissing an unknown girl. It is quite a bit surprising, you know. How did you end up with her anyway, she's a muggle after all."

"To be honest, Nev, I don't really know why things unfolded, they just did. Suddenly I was just sitting across a girl who made me laugh and I realised that I had the best time in three years. I wanted to meet her again, and I did, and suddenly we were dating and I figured out that that I didn't it mind at all."

"What's she like then? There must be something special about her?" Luna asked, with an unusually conscious voice.

Harry smiled slightly. "Yeah, you could say that she is special. She is funny; she always makes me feel happy. At the same time she's straight and honest, the first time I met her she told me off for being such a self-centred, brooding idiot, and well, since then I've been in love with her."

The room fell silent. Everyone seemed to be deep in thoughts. Luna twisted a lock of her hair between two of her fingers while she looked intently at Harry's kitchen sink. Mrs Weasley was looking out the window, and then she turned her gaze at Harry.

"I think we would all like to meet her, Harry." she said softly. Everyone looked up eagerly, so it was probably a question they all had wanted to ask.

"Ehh…yeah…of course. I'll talk…to her, about it." He replied.

"Well Arthur, I think we should be going." Mr. Weasley nodded and they apparated away in the next second. Not long after them Remus, Tonks, Neville, Luna and the twins disappeared too, until only Ron, Hermione and Ginny were left.

"Well, mate," Ron sighed, sitting down on the couch. "that was definitely surprising, but happy news. You know, 'Mione and I have waited for a long time for you to move on and get the life that you deserve, being The Boy Who Lived and all that shit."

Harry smiled slightly, thankful for the concern that his two best friends showed. "I know that I have been a bit… absent these past years. But it's been hard, with Ginny and all." He stopped briefly, looking at the picture of Ginny on his mantelpiece. He felt a stab of longing and grief hit him in the chest. He hadn't thought about her as much lately, but it still hurt. Why couldn't he have both Ginny and Ev? He knew that he would never be able to choose between the two of them, but he at least wished that he could talk to Ginny again. Just for a minute…

He shook himself out of his thoughts. Harry continued. "And it wasn't as if I could just go and date any girl I met, it didn't feel right until I met Ev…"

"How did you meet her, really? You never really explained what happened." Hermione said to him, sitting down on a kitchen chair with Ginny sleeping in her lap.

"Well, as I said, Ev works at a night club, Crazy Cats. One night Rob, one of my muggle friends, dragged me there to cheer me up a bit. And well, it ended with me sitting deserted at the bar while Rob was enjoying himself at the dance floor. Anyway, Ev was the bartender that night, and she began to talk to me. I guess I wasn't very nice to her at first, but then I softened up a bit, and I really enjoyed myself. We talked and such, and then suddenly several hours had passed and it was time for her to return home. I didn't feel as if there was any reason for me to stay there then, and seeing as I didn't really find my way home, she followed me home. And well, when we came here, she followed me up." Harry said, not feeling any need to explain what happened _after_ that.

Hermione smiled at him. "It all sounds like a fairytale, you know." She said, and for some reason Harry could hear a bit of sarcasm in her voice.

"But mate, what happened after that?" Ron asked.

"What do you mean, after that?"

"Well, after you took her up here?"

Harry stared at him. "What do you think?" He blurted out. "That I invited her to drink tea at half past three in the morning?"

Ron looked at him as if he didn't really believe it, frowning. "What? Do you mean that you…that you did…you know?"

Harry snorted. Why was Ron always so thick? He looked at Hermione who was smiling, as if she was enjoying herself very much. "Yes, Ron." He said finally.

"But…but…hey, you can't just…with a girl that you've only known for a few hours!" Ron exclaimed indignantly.

"Ron," Harry groaned, "many people in the muggle world don't have such a…conservative idea about it…Even though most wizards wait till after marriage, it's a bit more usual in the muggle world to…well, to not wait."

Ron was red up to his ears, but at least he didn't take up the matter again. Hermione shifted in the chair.

"So," she said, "after that you were an item?"

Harry laughed slightly. "No, it wasn't really that easy. When I woke up the morning after, she was gone. The only thing she had left was her earring on my bedside table. That's the one I have in my ear now." He said and pointed at his ear.

Hermione nodded and motioned for him to continue.

"So, well, I didn't see her for a week. And then suddenly I spotted her at a café, by mere accident, and we started to talk. I won't explain exactly why she left that morning, but it had more to do with the rest of the world than me." Harry scratched his head. "And well, we decided to give it a shot."

Ron nodded. "It does sound like a bit of a rush to begin to date a girl who you've only met two times, but you've always been drastic, mate, so I'm not exactly surprised."

Harry just grinned stupidly.

"She does seem to make you happy though." Hermione sad. She had taken the news paper and was examining the photos again with a thoughtful expression. "I haven't seen you smile like that in a long time, Harry, it's good to see it again." She looked at him over the news paper, and smiled back at him.

"You know mate," Ron said, now with a serious expression. "Hermione and I are really happy that you've found someone, it makes us happy that you're happy. We will always be here for you mate, you know that?"

Harry nodded seriously. "I know. You have proven that the last few years. And I'm exceptionally grateful for you both, even though I may not show it."

"We know Harry," Hermione sad softly. "we know."

------------------------------

Harry nervously shifted from one foot to another. He was standing outside Ev's door, just as he had done a few hours ago. He knew that he couldn't wait to tell her about the article, that wouldn't be a good idea. So he had called her right after Ron and Hermione had left his flat. She hadn't sounded very happy, but at least she wasn't shouting now. When he had said that he was coming over because something important had happened, she just grunted an okay and threw down the phone. He had grabbed a hangover-cure potion from his potions cupboard, because he didn't want to face a furious, screaming Ev with a hangover with the news he had today.

Finally, he lifted his hand and knocked on the door. He didn't think that it would be a good idea to open the door himself this morning, as he had done yesterday. When Ev opened, she was dressed in a big, white T-shirt and her hair all messy. Her squinted eyes told him that she wasn't in a very good at all.

"Hi." He said and smiled a smile he hoped looked good. "Can I come in?"

She stepped inside without answering. This wasn't beginning very well, he thought. Harry moved into the only room and turned towards her. She was standing against the wall, with her arms crossed. Not looking very pleased, at all.

"Ehh…" He began uncertainly. "Well, I'm sorry for disturbing you, but it was really necessary. You see, something happened yesterday, that shouldn't have happened…I should have understood that it would happen, it always does, but you know how I am, never really thinking about what I'm doing, but it's not my fault, really. You know, Hermione always told me those kind of things so I never-"

"Harry," she said, not hiding her irritation. "get to the bloody point sometime!"

"Oh…yeah, sorry." Harry said, and then he remembered the potion he had brought her. He took it out from his pocket and held it out to Ev.

"What's that?" She asked sceptically. She took it from his hand. "Hangover-cure?"

"Yeah…it's a potion that makes your headache go away, and it brightens your mood a bit."

"Potion?" She asked, still wary. "And exactly what does a potion contain? Snails and things?"

"Believe me, you would rather not know…"

"I don't really think I want to drink this Harry."

He sighed. "You won't regret it once you've done it, even if it does taste awful."

"Have you completely forgotten that I'm a vegetarian, Harry? I haven't eaten meat for two and a half years, and you suddenly think I will break that promise for a pathetic little potion?" Ev said heatedly.

Harry just smiled at her. "I know you, Ev. You hate hangovers, and you would do anything to get rid of them, even if it is drinking pig tails and crow eyes."

Ev looked from him, at the potion and then back at him. She gave him and threatening gaze and said: "If you ever tell anyone that I have taken this then you'll never be able to speak again, get it?"

Harry couldn't keep his face from smiling. "Anything for you, dear."

She gave him one last look, and then she swallowed. She grimaced when she tasted the dreadful potion, but she didn't say anything. After a few seconds, her expression relaxed and she even gave him a grateful look.

"It's gone…kind of…" She said. Then she actually smiled at him. "I love magic!"

Harry smiled and sighed at the same time, now that that was done, he had to get down to business. Ev seemed to notice his discomfort and sat on the couch, motioning for him to do the same. He sat down and thought about how he should tell her, when he figured that she could probably see for herself. So he handed her the news paper without saying anything.

She raised her left eyebrow when she saw the article, but that was about it.

"I can't really say I'm surprised." Ev said.

"You don't even look upset." He said.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Why should I get upset about it? I was expecting that something like this would happen, maybe not so soon. But there is nothing I can do about it, so why bother caring? If it makes them happy, sure, but I don't care about what they write about me in the papers."

Harry looked at her for a moment, slightly shocked. He had expected her to scream and throw things around, but apparently that potion had done wonders.

"Well, if you don't mind it, I guess there isn't anything to talk about really. Are you sure you don't mind?"

"Of course I mind a bit, but the world doesn't stop turning because of it... was there something else, or can I go back to my absolutely wonderful sleep that you interrupted so rudely?" Ev said.

"One last thing."

"Shoot."

"Because of the article, the whole Weasley family knows about you now. And I think that very soon they will demand to meet you."

------------------------------

Ginny had expected him to say many things, but she wasn't ready for this.

"Ehh…" She said.

Ginny had never really dared to let her thoughts wander off to think about meeting her family again. But she could just imagine it, sitting at the Burrow eating dinner. Then twins' fire jokes as usual, Hermione nagging on Ron to eat with his mouth shut and her father sitting silently on the end of the table, smiling at his big family. Hell, she had missed it all. Had she really given up all that three years ago? Now, she was suddenly desperate to get it back.

She noticed Harry looking at her expectantly.

"Eh…yes, of course. I would love to meet your family…of course." Ginny said, trying to keep the excitement out of her voice.

"They aren't dangerous, you know. Just curious. Look Ev, I need to run because I just realised that my boss wanted me to drop in at work for a minute to pick up something."

"It's Sunday Harry, surely they don't expect you to be there on a Sunday?"

Harry smiled slightly. "There was a time when I spent all the spare time I had at work. Then something very beautiful, wonderful and absolutely gorgeous stepped into my life and work wasn't very important anymore." He leaned forward and kissed her softly, stroking her cheek. "I guess they haven't gotten used to it yet."

Ginny took the hand that was stroking her cheek and kissed the palm lightly. "I don't want you to leave, can't you call your boss and say that you're occupied?" she mumbled and kissed his thumb.

"I'm not occupied, I have no plans for today." Harry answered.

Ginny sighed and moved her lips to his next finger, stroking it up and down. She had been in an awful mood just half an hour ago, but she didn't want Harry to leave. The fact that she would probably meet her family soon scared the shit out of her, and at the same time she was full of excitement. Ginny wanted him to stay with her, wanted to know that they would still have their special moments. "But I have plans for you."

"Oh, I see…" Harry smiled silly at her. "But you haven't informed my boss have you?"

"No." she mumbled. "But that doesn't matter. Let him sweat a bit, maybe he's so afraid to lose you that he'll give you a pay raise."

Harry kissed her again, longer and more deeply than the first time. They only pulled apart slightly, their faces inches from each other. Harry stroked her cheek again.

"I guess I'll stay for a bit then."

"Good."

"So what are your plans then?" Harry whispered.

"Well," she grinned, "you could start with making me coffee, my headache hasn't really gone away."

Harry sighed. "You're a real slave driver, you know that right?"

"Of course. Now off you go." She giggled. Harry groaned and then arose from the bed. It was quite clear that he had other plans for Ev than making coffee for her, but what didn't you do for your only love? After all, you never know how long you'll be allowed to be happy.

----------------------------------

So what did you think? Poor Harry, ehh? Having the whole lot standing there like tigers waiting to be fed… Hermione will play quite a big part in this story, which you will see later on. Hope you liked reading it from her POV. Now **review!**

**In chapter Eleven:**

_Ginny stopped breathing when she heard his voice. How many times hadn't she been shouting at that voice, laughed with it, played Quidditch against it? She couldn't help that tears began to fall from her eyes. She was closer to him now than she had been for three years._


	12. Ch 11: Naked, Down on Her Knees

**A/N:** Hello again, because it took me such a long time to update the last time, I thought that I should give you a little treat and do it fast this time! So here is chapter eleven, I hope you like it. Something happens in this chapter that I know you have all longed for (no, she won't tell him just yet, hehe.). Just read and find out!

Once again, I need to thank carolquin, she's been a wonderful help. The only problem is that she is working faster than me. :S

**Chapter Eleven: Naked, Down on Her Knees**

_Nobody has seen you since you came and disappeared again,_

_and I begin to understand how things were._

_I could have lit a fire, sent a smoke signal, _

_I should have told you who you were to me._

_- "Naken, ner på knä" by Emil Jensen_

Alex poked Ginny hard in the back, so that she stumbled forward in the queue. Ginny only giggled and grabbed Harry's hand for support. The alcohol pumped through her veins, destroying her sense of balance. She could feel in her skin that tonight was going to be a good night, fun and carefree. It was Friday night, and Ginny had an evening off from work. She and Alex had decided to spend the night out partying, because Ginny rarely had time to.

They were queuing to a popular club, but they had already spent an hour and a half over at Ginny's place, drinking a bit and warming up for the evening. Simon was there, as was Ashley and Steve. This was only the second time Harry met her friends, but he seemed to get along nicely with them even so.

They reached the entrance, and the watchman just gestured lamely for them to enter. She pulled Harry through the crowd by the entrance and the dance floor, until they found some empty seats in a little niche. The music was loud and fast, it made her legs itch to step out onto the dance floor. Instead, she sat down and pulled Harry down beside her. He smiled at her and kissed her slowly, before putting and arm around her and pulling her close.

The rest joined them; Ashley almost fell over Ginny and Harry because she was so drunk. Luckily Simon caught her.

"You should really control you drinking, Ash." Alex said, almost falling over herself.

"Oh, shut up." Ashley retorted. "Could anyone go get something to drink? I'm thirsty."

Steve wondered of in the direction of the bar, like a dog following his master's orders.

"You've trained him good." Alex said, surveying Steve's back.

"Trained him?" Ashley asked confused.

"Yeah, he does whatever you wish. Haven't you noticed?"

Ashley snorted. "It's because he adores me so much. He does it because he wants to!" She said a bit too loudly.

"Whatever you say, darling." Alex mumbled.

Ginny leaned over towards Harry's ear. "Sorry for making you spend your time with these maniacs."

He grinned at her. "Don't worry, I have you, right?"

"Mhmm." Harry stroke her waist. She was wearing the black corset again. She knew it was Harry's favourite, probably because she wore it on their first meeting. Ginny also had a pink mini skirt, high black leather boots, striped pink and black leggings and pink eye shadow beneath the usual eyeliner.

"Hey," she said to Harry, kissing him on the cheek. "I'll just go and see if I can find somebody to buy me a drink."

"I can, if you want to."

"I know, but I'll save that for later." She stood up from his embrace and walked through the sweaty crowd, and leaned casually against the bar. It wasn't hard to be offered a drink, all you needed to do was to stand there and look good, and some guy with too much money would buy you a drink, hoping for a shag later.

And just as she thought, a blonde man showed up and began to talk to her. He was utterly boring, but Ginny laughed hard at every joke he said, and soon she found herself with a drink in her hand. He offered her a cigarette too, but he was too busy looking down her cleavage to notice that she took the whole package. Once he had lit the cigarette for her, she said something about later, and made her way back. Ginny rarely smoked, not even at parties but when you were offered a whole package she wasn't one to complain.

When she reached the others, Harry wasn't there. She sat down, distressed by not knowing where Harry was.

"Where's Harry?" she asked, but no one heard her. Ginny poked Alex in the side and moved her mouth towards her ear.

"Where is Harry?" She screamed. Alex only shrugged her shoulders and turned back towards Simon. Ginny scanned the dancing mass, trying to find a head with unruly, black hair. She didn't know why but the panic began to spread through her. Hell, he was probably only on the toilet or something. But she couldn't help it, a voice inside her said that he had left her; he didn't care about her anymore. How stupid she'd been, thinking that she could mean something to him again. Ginny took a drag on her cigarette nervously, hoping that would calm her down a bit.

"Ev, are you okay?" She whirled around; Harry was standing beside her with a sad and concerned expression and his mobile phone in his hand. He touched her shoulder.

"Yeah…it's nothing. I only wondered where you were." she replied shakily.

"I got a phone call, but I couldn't hear anything in here, so I went to the bathroom." His voice was anxious and a bit absent.

"What's wrong? What was the call about?"

Harry sighed. "I have told you about my godfather, Remus Lupin, right?"

She nodded.

Harry looked around before answering. "Well, as you know, he's a werewolf. He's often ill, and it seems as if it has caught up with him lately. The call was from the wizard hospital, St. Mungo's. Apparently he fainted at work, because his heart can't put up with his transformation very well anymore."

Ginny frowned, concerned for her old teacher. He had always been so kind and thoughtful. Harry was still anxious looking, suddenly he seemed to be tired.

"Ev…I'm sorry, but I really think I should be there. I want to be there…if something happens, you know."

Ginny stroke his arm, trying to give him some sort of comfort. "Of course Harry. It doesn't matter if I spend my night off at a nightclub or at a hospital as long as I'm with you"

Harry looked up at her, surprised. "You? You don't need to be there, take the chance and enjoy yourself instead."

She shook her head. "I'm not leaving you on your own when you're this worried and nervous. I'll come with you right away; I'll just tell the others."

Ginny didn't let Harry have a chance to open his mouth when she turned away and informed Alex and the rest about what had happened, but leaving out the werewolf bit of course.

"Come on, let's get out of here." Ginny said when she returned, grabbing his hand and leaving the place they had entered only an hour ago.

---------------------------

It wasn't until Harry had apparated them both to the hectic entrance hall of St. Mungo's that she realised what she had let herself into. Even though she knew how it was at St. Mungo's, it almost shocked her. She had spent years without seeing one single wizard with three extra arms, or a child with a teapot instead of head or witches whose noses had turned blue with green dots when they had tried to deform them.

Harry talked to the receptionist, who was about to collapse in giggles when she realised that she was serving Harry Potter, about which department Remus lay in. It was during the time that they climbed the stairs that Ginny realised that probably her whole family would be there too.

"Ehh…Harry, will the rest of Remus friends…come too?"

"Probably." He answered. "But they hadn't informed any one else than me and Tonks when they called me, seeing as we're the closest to relatives he has, so it will take some time before the others arrive."

"Oh." Then she thought about what Harry had said about Remus not really having any relatives, Ginny hadn't known that. But now that he said it, she felt stupid that she hadn't realised so before, and shameful. Here she was with both a family and a boyfriend who loved her, even though she wasn't spotless, but she had run away even so. There were loads of people like Remus who didn't have a family, but they had stayed. Done what was right.

They entered a corridor with white walls, a lot of seats scattered around the room and doors on both sides.

"Excuse me," Harry said to a nurse who was holding a tray. "Do you know what room Remus Lupin is in?"

She nodded and pointed at a door far down the corridor. "Number 23. But you aren't allowed to see him until the Healers are finished with him."

"Thanks, I guess we'll just wait then."

They sat down outside number 23 for surely ten minutes before either of them said anything. Ginny was only thinking about her family. She would meet them again, after three years. Her mum, her dad, the twins, Bill, Charlie, Ron and Hermione and maybe even Percy. She realised that she had no idea if Percy ever apologised and became a part of her family again. During the war, she had hated him, but now she would do everything to see him if it was only for a minute.

Ginny bit on her nails, which had been carefully painted with pink nail polish only some hours ago. Even if she wished with her whole heart to meet them, she was dead scared at the same time. What if they recognized her? What if they didn't like her? Her clothes weren't exactly what her mum would have wished for her daughter to wear. Or what if she began to cry or something else when she saw them; it would be so embarrassing and confusing for them. Ginny suddenly felt sick, she couldn't tell if it was because of the nervousness or the alcohol.

Alcohol. Oh fuck, of course she had to be drunk at the time too!

Shakily, she stood up from the chair.

"I just need to go to the toilet for a minute, I'm feeling a bit sick. I'll be right back." She didn't know if Harry heard her, he only continued to stare right in front of him.

She saw a door with a toilet sign. Ginny walked in and locked after herself, before sinking down with her back against the door. There were goose bumps all over her body, and the big lump in her stomach was only increasing. What the hell had she let herself into? With half-closed eyes, she fumbled for the cigarettes.

_If I continue at this rate__, I'll be addicted in two days_, she thought, as she lit the cigarette with her finger through magic.

She had only taken two drags, when she heard a door open. And next, a very, very familiar voice.

"Hi Harry, mum just Floo called us about Lupin. What happened?"

Ginny stopped breathing when she heard his voice. How many times hadn't she been shouting at that voice, laughed with it, played Quidditch against it? She couldn't help that tears began to fall from her eyes. Ron. She was closer to him now than she had been for three years.

Ginny didn't listen to what Harry answered Ron; this was so much harder than she thought it would ever be. How stupid had she been, thinking that she could just pretend to not know them? She was crying now, but she didn't care. Her head was filled with so many memories from Ron that the real world was blocked out; she remembered them quarrelling, how sad she had been when he was going off to Hogwarts, when he had hugged her after Harry had rescued her from Tom, yelling at her when he and Harry walked in on her and Dean...It wasn't until she heard a third voice that she was brought back to reality.

It was Hermione this time. Hermione, the bossy one, the know-it all, the bookworm. Hermione, probably the best friend she ever had had. Ginny couldn't really hear what they talked about, but it didn't matter. Suddenly she couldn't wait anymore; she had to meet them now. She had waited far too long.

Ginny quickly stood up and looked herself in the mirror. Her eyes were slightly red, but it was nothing a good glamour charm couldn't fix. She dove back to her hand bag, and opened the secret part that she had charmed so that only she could see and open it. She took out her wand, and after a few waves, she was looking respectable again. She put back her wand and looked at herself closely.

Ginny had never liked mirrors; it was a scary feeling to look at a person, knowing everything that went on in the persons head. She somehow felt that her appearance didn't fit her inner personality. Not that she thought she was ugly or anything, it just didn't fit. Ginny guessed that it was the hair colour that made her feel that way. The girl sighed. Would they recognize her? Ron was something completely different from Harry, Ron had seen her almost everyday since she was born. There was a very big chance that he could see through her.

Resolutely, she threw the cigarette into the toilet, grabbed her bag and opened the door to meet her long lost brother and her oldest friend.

--------------------------

Hermione hadn't been surprised when Mrs. Weasley told them about Remus. She was a healer, after all. It was well-known that werewolves often got heart problems, but that didn't make her one bit happier. The thought of Remus passing out, it was so scary. Lupin was one of those adults who had always been there, he wasn't supposed to die. Of course, this didn't mean that Remus would drop down dead one day, but still. It was scary.

Once Harry was finished explaining what had happened to Remus, she asked if Tonks knew about it yet.

"Apparently they had tried to get in touch with her, but she's out of the country on a mission right now. I guess they are still trying, it's rather hard to find an Auror who doesn't want to be found."

Hermione nodded. "So what do we do now then? Just wait?"

"Yeah, that's what we've been doing since we came here." Harry answered.

"We? What do you mean? You are just one-"Ron's voiced trailed away, as a door opened down the corridor. A young girl appeared in the entrance, with a nervous and sad expression.

Hermione stopped breathing. No, she thought. This can't be true. It was as if she was fifteen again, in the body of the shy and uncertain girl she had been then. Hermione was standing in the corner of the party, looking horrified and enviously at Alexandra making out with Viktor in the sofa. Alexandra was wearing the same pink skirt as now, and Viktor's hand was fumbling its way underneath it. It took several moments before Hermione realised that this girl wasn't Alexandra. It was the skirt that made it; it looked exactly like the skirt Alexandra had worn that night.

When she had calmed down a bit, she realised that she recognized the girl. It was the one from the Daily Prophet, Harry's new girlfriend. The girl looked almost shocked, as if someone had caught her completely off guard. Hermione looked at her a bit more closely; taking in the other pieces of clothing she was wearing.

Apparently, this girl liked to show that she didn't lack in the department of curves and forms, Hermione would never ever in her life walk around with a cleavage like that. Or those boots. Or that make-up. Or that skirt. It would make her look as something that you could pick up directly from the street.

"Hey girl, are you okay? Are you feeling better?" Harry said, making his way towards her. He stroked her arm slightly, looking at her concernedly.

Once the girl moved her gaze from Ron and Hermione, she opened and closed her mouth several times before answering.

"Ehh…yeah…I'm…fine, just fine."

Harry turned towards Ron and Hermione. "Well," he said, not really knowing how he should take his best friends silence. "this is Ev, who I told you about. And this is Ron and Hermione." Harry continued, gesturing towards them.

Nobody said anything for a couple of seconds, and then Ron let go of Hermione and walked up to Ev, holding out his hand.

"Hi," he said. "I've been waiting to meet you, after all you're the one we should thank for bringing our usual Harry back to us."

Ev was looking at his hand for several seconds, as if she couldn't believe it. Then she suddenly woke up from the haze she'd been in, and shook his hand. Firmly.

"It's nice to meet you too." She smiled up at Ron, showing of a row of white, perfect and even teeth. Hermione wanted to gag at her, if there was one thing she hated, it was when people had perfect teeth. Hermione's front teeth had always been too big, even after Madam Pomfrey's little modification in her third year. She noticed that Ev was looking expectantly and nervously at her. Hermione sighed inwardly, she knew she shouldn't judge this girl so soon, but sometimes she just couldn't help it.

She gritted her teeth and walked up to them, holding out her hand.

"Hello. We've heard so much about you." Ev shook her hand, but there was a slight frown on her face.

"I've heard a lot about you too." She said quietly. Somehow this shyness didn't fit with her hard appearance.

They all sat down again, Ron and Hermione on one side and Ev and Harry across from them. Again, silence hung over them. Hermione could tell by Harry's expression that this wasn't going as smoothly as he hoped it would.

---------------------------------

Ginny had thought she would faint when Ron came up to shake her hand. It had been such a funny feeling, holding her brother's hand in hers again. He looked different now. Not as gangly anymore, and his face had matured quite a lot. She had never thought that she could miss her annoying brother as much as she had done. The feelings that rose inside her were both happy and confusing. All this had happened so fast. Ron had really seemed to be happy to see her, as he had said. Ginny had been scared that they wouldn't like her, but Ron just seemed curious by her.

Hermione was a completely different story. What had happened to the old Hermione, how come she had turned so cold and distant? It wasn't like her, it wasn't like her at all. Even now, she could feel Hermione looking at her, almost superior. Ginny couldn't think of any reason for Hermione to dislike her. She hadn't done anything wrong, had she?

Ginny's thoughts were cut off when a nurse exited room 23.

"Has he woken up yet?" Harry asked hopefully. The nurse only shook her head, hurrying down the corridor.

Harry closed his eyes and opened and closed his fists. In the entire stir with seeing Ron and Hermione, she had almost forgotten about Remus and how much Harry had to be hurting. She stroke his arm carefully and Harry opened his eyes for a second to look at her.

"What if he doesn't survive this?" he whispered.

"He will Harry. Their kind of problems are normal, the Healers will know what to do." Hermione replied quickly.

"I honestly don't dare to believe that everything will be fine." Harry said.

Ginny took his hand in both of hers. "Maybe it won't Harry. But the world won't stop turning because of it."

Harry smiled at her, before releasing his hand and laying his arm around her shoulders instead, puling her too him.

"No, but it'll be a lot darker." He mumbled into her hair. Ginny didn't answer, she just took his other hand. She needed his comfort too, this was probably the hardest thing she'd ever done in her life.

--------------------

It was strange to see Harry seek comfort in another girl's arms. It had always been Ginny, and when Ginny was gone, it had often been Hermione who had too whisper comforting words and hug him a bit. This was much more intimate, though. For some reason, Hermione felt left out, as if something that had belonged to her now had been ripped away from her. Not that she wished to have Harry or anything, he was like her brother. But during the past few years, she and Ron had always been his saviours, the first ones who he'd call for help. But in just a month, this girl had robbed this from her. Even though it had been a burden at times, it had helped her feel needed and useful. What were she and Ron to Harry now?

Hermione couldn't help to she wished that Ev wasn't sitting there, comforting Harry. So much had changed, Hermione couldn't understand what Harry saw in Ev, she was obviously very vulgar and challenging.

Suddenly the door down the corridor opened again. The flash of pink told you that it was Tonks who had arrived. When she came clearly into view, Hermione could see the bags under her worried eyes and that her usually straggling hair was flat and lifeless.

She raised and hugged Tonks before she even said anything, Hermione understood how this must hurt her.

"How are you feeling?" she asked carefully.

"Don't ask me, the question is how he is doing." Tonks replied.

Hermione sighed. "He hasn't woken up yet, but the Healers are working on it. They now what to do, Tonks, this is not unusual."

Tonks only nodded. Then she noticed Ev, whose legs now were lying over Harry's lap.

Tonks walked briskly over to her.

"Hello, I'm Tonks, wife to the man who we're all her for, and

Harry's boss."

"I'm Ev, Evelyn Flynn. Harry's girlfriend." Ev replied and shook her hand.

Tonks nodded. "I understood that. I like your skirt by the way,

pink is my favourite colour. Where did you buy it?"

Ev seemed to be totally taken aback by Tonks' sudden change of conversation subject.

"Ehh…I haven't bought it."

"Oh," Tonks grinned, sitting down beside her. "you mean you nicked it?"

Ev blushed. "No, I got it from a friend actually, who had grown out of it."

Tonks nodded. "I see."

The atmosphere improved a bit after Tonks' arrival, they even began to talk a bit, and once she had started, Ev didn't seem to be able to stop talking. Maybe it was just the way she was, or it was because she was nervous, meeting so many new people at once. Bill, Fleur and Percy arrived at the same time, all being polite towards Ev. She never stopped smiling, she showed them all her perfect row of teeth that Hermione just wanted to punch out of her face, but she didn't know why. She guessed it was the skirt.

Ev seemed to go especially well together with Fred and George when they arrived.

"Ahh, the mysterious woman who eats tofu!" Fred said when he spotted her, and bowed deeply.

"Tofu?" Ev answered, clearly confused, but with a glint in her eye.

"You should know, my dear lady," George filled in. "that both me and my brother hold deep respect for this marvellous treasure. It's the thing that makes me wake up in the morning, and I hurry home from work, knowing that a steaming saucepan of tofu always is waiting for us."

Ev raised her eyebrows slightly. "I am delighted to meet somebody who understands the meaning of tofu. My dear boyfriend here still claims that it tastes like paper. It brings me deep sorrow that he doesn't find it satisfying."

"Oh, dear tofu-companion, maybe my brother and I could help you with this task. I'm sure that we together could lead him on the right path."

"That is quite impossible, I'm afraid." Ev said with a deep sight. She played along very well with Fred and George's little spectacle. "I tried everything. He's a hopeless case."

"Oh, don't despair my dear lady, I'm sure that after being a few minutes upside down with us tickling him while Fred sings "God Save the Queen" while help him a lot to understand."

"I shall think about it." Ev said with a smile.

"Anything for a companion who has the same goals in life as us." George said with another bow and then sat down, talking to Bill. Ev was still looking at them but now without the glint in her eyes.

Everyone interested themselves in Ev, it was good to think about something else than Remus' condition. And Ev seemed to like the attention, although she sometimes had an almost sad and distant look on her face. Hermione didn't know why she couldn't join the other in their interest of Ev. She had been glad when Harry had found somebody new that made him happy, but she hadn't been prepared for a copy of Alexandra.

She turned around when the door opened once more, this time it was Mr and Mrs Weasley who appeared. Molly immediately ran over to Tonks, enveloping her in a hug.

"Oh dear, you must be devastated Tonks. I know it's hard, but we must believe that everything will be fine." She stepped back and looked concernedly at Tonks. "He is such a fine man, it would be awful if we lost him."

Tonks nodded. "Yeah, I don't know how I would cope."

"It will be alright, everything will be alright, dear." Molly patted her shoulder.

When Hermione turned her head, she saw Ev looking at Molly with an almost pained and longing expression. Hermione frowned, she didn't understand this girl. Just then Mrs Weasley turned to Ev and Harry, and in a second it was gone.

"Hello there." Molly said, eyeing Ev's clothes. It was rather obvious that she did not approve of them, for some reason this made a satisfied feeling fill Hermione. "You must be Evelyn. We've heard so much about you. I'm Molly Weasley, mother to almost half of the people in here."

Ev stood and shook her hand, smiling a charming smile that could have melted a stone. "I've heard quite a lot about you and your family too."

Mr Weasley came up and shook her hand too, although he didn't say very much. For a second, Hermione thought she saw that expression again, but when she looked closely it seemed to be gone. What was it about this girl? She felt so familiar, and for some reason it seemed to be a bit unpleasant for her to meet everyone.

---------------------------------

Ginny wasn't positively sure if this was real. She had dreamt of it so many times, that she almost presumed that she would soon wake up in her bed again, in her usual life. But she never woke up, her family continued to talk to her and be around her. Her insides where somehow just turned off, she didn't know how she managed to play along with everything.

The hardest part had obviously been when her mum showed up. She must have been longing to meet her daughter for so long, for just one minute, but she didn't know that she had just shaken her hand. Ginny had wanted to throw her arms around her mum's neck, and never let go, just like she did when she was a little girl. But she was no longer her mothers little girl. This had been her own choice; she simply had to live with it. It had all happened so fast, if she knew that she would meet her family that night when she prepared herself for going out, she would probably have gone and lay in her bed with the sheets over her head. Ginny certainly didn't feel ready for this, but somehow, it had worked out quite well. She was surprised that she had been able to hide her feelings so well, she didn't think that anyone had noticed anything strange with her.

Ginny had no idea of how long they had waited now, the nurses came by at times, but refused to say anything about Remus' condition. She could tell that Harry was still nervous and worried, but he acted as if he was okay. He had always been like this, when they came home, when nobody else could see him, he would break down. Once it had irritated her, he was so scared to show his feelings, but now she had accepted it. In every relationship, there came a point when you simply had to accept that you partner had strengths and faults, and theirs had come several years ago. But she loved Harry's faults too, loved the whole of him.

"So, Ev, are you going with Harry to the ball?" Ginny's head shot up. It was Tonks who had asked.

"Ball? What ball?" she asked confused.

"The ball that is held every year, to celebrate the end of the war." Tonks explained. "Harry has always gone alone, but I guess that this year you'll be joining him."

"Ehh…" Ginny had no idea about this ball, Harry had never mentioned anything about it to her.

Harry suddenly woke up from his sleepy state. "The ball? Yeah…I meant to ask you several times, but I kept forgetting. Do you want to?" He asked her.

"Ehh….." she said again. In her head an image appeared of herself in a Cinderella-like dress, dancing slowly with Harry. That had been her dream when she attended the Yule Ball in her third year, and now it seemed to become real, after six years.

"Well…yeah, I guess that would be fine…but do you really think I would fit in there?" The last part she whispered to Harry.

"Why wouldn't you?"

"Well, you know…I'm not really from that kind of family that usually goes to that kind of things. What if everyone laughs at me or something?"

"They won't Ev, I won't let them. It's not really that posh, many people are my friends who helped me during the war, and you've met some of them today. It will be okay. Everyone will just be jealous because I have such a beautiful and wonderful date."

Ginny smiled uncertainly. "If you really want me to, I guess I'll go then…"

Harry grinned. "Good, I'm tired of always going alone."

Tonks grinned at her. "I'm sure you'll love it, it's really fun to wear gowns and such stuff." Ginny only smiled back.

"Every one of us will be there," Molly said sympathetically. "I'm sure it will be fine."

"Yeah."

After that, the conversation died out again, everyone nervously waiting. Finally a healer appeared.

"Mr. Lupin woke up shortly, but then he fell asleep again. But we are convinced that he'll be fine after some rest here."

Tonks face had turned worried again, but now with a relieved look. She sighed loudly, closing her eyes for a second.

"So he'll be okay, just like normal?" she asked concernedly.

"Well, he probably shouldn't run several miles a day or do other extremely demanding physical activities. But yes, he'll be like normal."

"Thank Merlin." Tonks mumbled. Then she looked up at the Healer once more. "When will we be able to see him?"

"Not today, but tomorrow perhaps. I would advice for you all to go home and sleep, it's the middle of the night."

Molly nodded at her voice. "Yes," she said. "I think we all will need our rest." She stood up and looked at her husband. "Are you coming, darling?" Arthur nodded.

Everyone else followed their example, getting up form their seats where they had been waiting for several worrying hours. Molly walked over to Ev, as she was putting on her jacket.

"It was very nice to see you, dear. We'll see you at the Ball; it's only a week away." Molly stretched out her hand to say goodbye, smiling warmly at her. Ginny swallowed, trying to put up a normal face. It had been so many years since she felt her mothers hand in hers, and now she had held it two times in only one day.

"I'll see you then. It was really nice to meet you." Ginny smiled at her. Molly nodded and then turned away, leaving with her husband. The rest said goodbye to them, Hermione a bit more coldly than the others, and then it only remained her and Harry.

He held out his hand towards her. She took it and squeezed gently. "Should we go then?" He said softly. Ginny nodded.

They made their way out of the building and fortunately nobody noticed who Harry was. They decided to walk home, both of them felt that they needed to relax and get the hold of their thoughts.

Ginny still felt rather numb, she was surprised that she hadn't been more affected by seeing her family again. Of course it had been a bit of a shock, but still, it was as if she was sleeping.

She felt as if she had been outside her own body, looking down when somebody else than her greeted her family.

It was dark, and Harry kept his arm protectively around her shoulders the whole way home. She was grateful for that, she needed his comfort right now. It wasn't until they had reached Harry's flat and had taken of their clothes that the breakdown came. Ginny just fell to the floor, crying and sobbing. Her insides were crashing down; she had never felt so ugly and unworthy in her whole life. How could she leave her family like that? They had been wonderful to her, trying to protect her all them time, and she just left them to deal with the pain, running away to save herself.

She felt Harry's arms around her. Poor boy, he had no idea about anything.

"Ev, love, what's wrong?" He said with a voice filled with confusion and concern. Ginny fisted her arms in his shirt, crying in his shoulder. She wasn't worthy of Harry either. He had been alone and broken when she just had been walking around, partying and having fun with her friends. And now, he had once more given himself totally to her, and all she could do was to break his heart. Just as last time.

It wasn't until now that she realised how much she had missed them all. When she hadn't seen her family, it was easy to ignore it. But now, she just couldn't hold back. All her grief, pain, longing and self-hatred flooded out of her eyes onto Harry's shirt.

"Baby…please, just tell me what's wrong." Harry pleaded. "Please, I can't stand it when you're hurt. Did I do something wrong?"

Sobbing, she tried to sit up straight and look at him. It didn't succeed very well, so she simply leaned against his shoulder trying to ease her sobs. She knew that she had to come up with some reason for her crying, Harry wouldn't accept any explanation about being tired or stressed. He knew her too well. Ginny felt a burning desire to spill out everything to him; she was dead tired of lying. But once more, she turned herself away from that possibility, she didn't dare to lose him now.

"I'm sorry...after all it's not me who is having the hard time here, it's you, but...I don't know...they just felt so much like my own family…"

"They? Do you mean the Weasleys?" Harry asked. Ginny nodded.

"It was a bit like meeting them again. Or at least being a part of a family again, it's been such a long time since I felt that way. I've become used to celebrating Christmas alone. Everybody else had a family to go to. Even Alex, even though her brother is dead and her father raped her. I thought I didn't care about that anymore, that it didn't affect me…"

"Of course it does, everybody needs to have a family. And I know the feeling Ev, the Weasleys are to closest to family I have."

"Yeah, you didn't even know your parents, Harry. That's even worse."

"I don't know. Of course I missed them, but I didn't know what to miss, did I? I think it is two different things…"

"I guess so…" Ginny replied silently. Her sobs had eased now.

"Come on, you need to sleep. Everything will be fine tomorrow morning."

She nodded weakly and let him help her to stand. Ginny leaned on him as they made their way towards the bedroom. She was beyond grateful for Harry, she wasn't sure if she could have handled this situation herself. She felt like a little child when Harry helped her out of her clothes. Ginny got into the bed, and then immediately fell to sleep.

Harry was slightly confused by Ev's behaviour. He was used to seeing a strong and confident woman, but sometimes she was as tiny as a girl. He guessed he was the same sometimes, and that she would get over it after some time. She just needed time to solve her problems. He climbed in after her, and he too, fell asleep.

--------------------------------

**A/N:** So, what did you think? Are you disappointed? Ecstatic? This was one of the hardest things to write so far, how the hell do you describe the feeling when you meet your mother after three years? I certainly don't know, so I took the easy way out here and described the whole thing from another person's point of view. Hope you all are not too angry with me…

But what is the problem with Hermione, ehh? It's not like her at all, is it? Is there maybe anyone who can guess who Alexandra is? It's not that hard you know…

**In chapter Twelve:**

_Hermione gave him a quick hug, and then proceeded into the living room. When Harry and Ron had caught up with her, they realised that Hermione had stopped dead in the door opening. _

"_Alexandra?!" Hermione gasped. _


	13. Ch 12: You Took My Pain and Filled

**A/N: **So here comes the next chapter! And now when I've been a good author and update, you should be a good reader and review!!

And thousand thanks to carolquin as usual, that girl saves this story from being a total disaster. Okay, maybe I was exaggerating, but she really helps even so.

**Chapter Twelve:**** You took my pain and filled my empty heart **

**I stole your dreams, I broke your soul apart**

_Moonlight through the windows in the hall__,  
rainbows in your teardrops as they fall.  
Constantly we move between the lies,  
constant as trouble in your eyes.  
You break and I'm bending, I.  
You begin and I'm ending, why._

"_Butterfly Man" by Lisa Miskovsky_

Ginny sighed and closed the newspaper, downing the rest of her coffee. She grimaced at the bitter cold taste. _The Daily Prophet_ had published a ridiculous article about her that her clothes were impropriate and that Harry had obviously fallen for her only because she could offer him so much in the sexual department. Apparently somebody had seen her and Harry in St. Mungos, and had told the newspapers about her clothing, which hadn't been something she normally wore on hospital visits.

Ginny decided not to worry about it though, it wouldn't make it any better. She remembered the first time there was an article published about her. It had been in the end of her fifth year, when she had returned home after Dumbledore's funeral. _Which Weekly_ had found out that Harry had dated her for some weeks during the end of the school year, and had immediately come up with some rubbish story that she had lured a lot of money from Harry, and that was why he broke up with her. Ginny had been surprised to find out that she and Harry apparently had had a big fight in the Great Hall at the end of the year. She hadn't been able to recall anything of the sort. It was lovely to have newspapers, wasn't it? They always told you things about yourself that you had no idea about. What would the world do without them?

Rising from the chair, she stretched and yawned. It was a good day, she was at Harry's flat, enjoying a lazy morning. It was now three days since the night at St. Mungos, and Ginny still hadn't recovered from it. It had been such a shock, such an explosion inside her, to see her family. She hadn't been ready for it, but the fact that she wasn't made it all easier. She was quite sure that she hadn't really understood what had been happening that night, so she didn't act too funny and shocked. The realisation had slowly come to her now. She was walking around with a tingling feeling inside her all the time, she didn't know if she wanted to meet them again or not.

She had just put her mug and plate in the sink, when she heard a noise behind her. Ginny whirled around and found her face to face with an ashy Hermione, who was making her way out of the fireplace. Hermione looked around the room, and her face fell a bit when she noticed that she was alone with Ginny in the room. Ginny had been totally unprepared for this, she was just staring at Hermione.

"Hello." Hermione said, frowning a bit. "Ehh…is there anything wrong?"

Ginny shook her head. "No! Sorry, I… I'm just not used to seeing people walking out from the wall."

"The wall?" Hermione asked, confused. She didn't seem to be as cold as she had been the other day, Ginny noticed hopefully.

"Yeah, I know that you're using the fireplace, but seeing as it's not normal for people to have fireplaces in apartments, Harry hides it from muggles with some kind of charm. I only see a wall where I know the fireplace should be." Ginny said quickly, elaborating her lie.

"Oh." Was all Hermione said. Then that far away and empty expression dawned upon her face again. "I came to see Harry. Where is he?"

"He is in the shower, but I think he will be finished in a minute." Ginny said. "Well, he better be, or I'll kick him out of there."

Ginny tried to lighten the mood, but Hermione only raised her eyebrows at her joke. Ginny looked down at the floor, not knowing what to do. What had happened to Hermione? She didn't recognize her at all…

The silence laid itself like a hard, embarrassing wall between them. It was so obvious that Hermione disliked her, and that Ginny desperately wanted an acceptance, a moment of connection with the older girl. Ginny felt extremely sorrowful at this, she had missed her best friend so much. Why did things turn out like this?

"How did you and Harry end up with each other?" Hermione suddenly blurted out.

Ginny was taken aback by her question, she wasn't expecting this.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Harry isn't really the outgoing person, you know. You're not the type of girl I thought he would fall for. You are so…I don't know, different from anyone he has even befriended before."

Ginny honestly didn't know if she should take it as an insult or a compliment. She tried to smile a bit, but it turned out like a grimace. "I don't really know. We just did. Some people say that opposite attracts, maybe that's the reason."

Hermione nodded, and the silence settled between them once more. They stood there for several minutes, as far away from each other that they could come, glancing at each other now and then. Ginny swallowed several times, pushing the tears down her throat. _What had she done wrong?_

Then Harry was there, and Ginny disappeared, saying that she should take a shower. When she returned to the kitchen fifteen minutes later, dressed and showered, Hermione was gone. Harry had a newspaper in his hand, but he wasn't reading it. He was looking out the window with a frown on his face.

"I'm going now, I was supposed to meet Alex ten minutes ago." She said as she hurriedly threw things in her bag. Why couldn't she ever be on time?

"Sure baby. And promise me that you'll buy the dress you want, and not the one which is cheap. I really don't care about the price as long as you look as you want to look." Harry said, looking away from the window. He had told her that he would pay for her dress, because she had realised that she simply didn't have the money for it. Ginny hated to be some kind of object of charity, but this time she had accepted it. She really didn't want to turn up with an ugly, second-hand robe.

"I will." Ginny walked over to him and kissed him on the mouth. "Have you found the article about us yet?"

Harry groaned. "Don't tell me that they have come up with some cock and bull story about you too!"

"Not really," she smiled. "They are only commentating on my choice of clothes the other day. I really don't care about it, Harry."

He smiled at her. "Good, you shouldn't." He kissed her. "Now run off and buy that dress. I'm looking forward to seeing you in it."

Ginny gave him a last hug, grabbed her bag and was out of the flat in two seconds. She didn't even bother to bring a jacket; it was late May after all.

---------------------------

Once Ev was out, Harry sighed and rubbed his forehead. Hermione hadn't only come just to say hello, there had been a very interesting reason behind her visit. Hermione always saw obvious things that he never cared to think about. This time, she had come up with a very interesting discovery about Ev. He felt stupid for not seeing it himself; he was an auror after all. It was his job to see these kind of things. Hermione had come to remind him about the fact that every official Quidditch match is protected by an anti-muggle charm. At first he hadn't understood, but then it had dawned upon him. Ev had been at the Quidditch match with him. And Ev was a muggle.

So either there was no charm on the Quidditch pitch that day, which was very unlikely. Or, Ev had lied to him.

Harry didn't want to think about the other possibility, but it had to be that way. He knew that it very rarely happened that they forgot the charms on the Quidditch pitches, it was so important. What more, he had taken her to Hogwarts too. And there was no chance at all that Ev could have seen that if she was a muggle. So his beautiful girlfriend had lied to him. Ev was no muggle, she was a witch.

_But why would she lie to me about something like that?_ Harry thought. He felt dizzy, he really didn't understand anything at all. At the same time as he felt confused, he felt as if there was something he was forgetting, something _very _important. Something that had bothered him, which had happened the same day as the Quidditch match…

Then he remembered. The red hair on Ev's pillow. Harry had completely pushed that to the edge of his brain, that day had been too good; he hadn't wanted to spoil it just because of some suspicious hair. Harry felt it itch under his skin, it all fit. Ev was a witch, who for some reason changed her hair colour from red to brown. _But why?_

Then a little voice spoke inside of him. _If she changes her hair colour, then there is a chance that she changes more than that. Her nose perhaps, or her eyes. _And then, there was of course the fact that Ev didn't seem to exist in any kind of register over the population. She had never explained that to him when he mentioned it at the café.

All these things pointed to one explanation. Ev wasn't at all who she said she was. Evelyn Flynn was probably not her real name, she wasn't a muggle and Ev didn't look the way Harry thought she did. Harry sighed. Why did he always end up with complicated relationships? And what would he do now? Ignore it? Or demand her to tell the truth? He didn't know at all.

When Hermione had told him about this, his whole insides had crashed down. He wasn't in a state where he could cope with a lying girlfriend. He loved Ev so much; he wanted everything to be perfect with her. It hurt Harry so much to think that she had lied to him, but she _had_ actually made him happier than anybody had ever done before. No, he didn't want to throw away their relationship only because of a lie. There was probably a simple explanation. Maybe Ev was forced to keep a secret identity because she had been stalked by some maniac or something. Knowing Ev, she would probably tell him. Harry couldn't for his life imagine that she didn't feel the same as he did, it probably killed her to lie to him. No, he would wait for her.

_Today is Monday, the Ball is on Friday. I really don't want to spoil that moment for her. __But of course, if several months pass and she doesn't say anything, I'll bring it up._ Harry felt satisfied by that decision. Sure, he hated when people lied to him. But sometimes, you have to do things you hate to keep the things you love.

----------------------------

"What about this one then? It's cute, don't you think?" Ginny said, showing Alex the dress. She looked at it critically.

"It's very lovely, if you're attending a funeral." Alex said.

"Oh come off it, it's not that bad. And I like black." Ginny said, running her hand down the silky, lacy material.

"No." Alex said resolutely, turning her back against the dress. Ginny sighed, she knew that Alex was right. She continued to look through all the dresses, making her way away from Alex. She had never thought that it would be so hard to find the perfect dress, there was always something wrong. Maybe there wasn't a perfect dress, but still. She wanted to look flawless on the Ball, it was going to be her first public occasion. The first impression was important, although people already knew who she was.

Ginny stopped breathless. _Yes_, she thought. _This is the dress._ It was dark red, with a high waist and short, puffy sleeves. Around the waist there was a black silk ribbon. Her eyes drank in the sight of the dress, it was perfect.

She turned her head and said to Alex: "I don't care what you think Alex, I'm buying this one."

Curious, Alex appeared around the corner. She looked at the dress for a few moments, and then she smiled. "Try it on. Now!"

The dress looked even better on. The cut made her look very elegant, and the neckline was very broad, showing off her creamy, white shoulders. Ginny smiled at herself in the mirror, this was really like one of her girly fantasies she had had as a little girl. She twirled around in front of the mirror, squealing with delight when the skirt spread around her. Alex ripped the door open and looked at her with a pleased expression.

"Every man in the whole room will fall at your feet, my lady. It looks fabulous."

"Thanks." Ginny smiled.

"You're buying it, I hope?"

"Of course!"

The two girls were giggling when they exited the shop, planned exactly everything that Ginny would wear that evening.

"Promise me that you will let me help you to prepare yourself. I just can't miss this moment!" Alex said.

"Sure. And Romain too, he's better than both of us with make-up and those kind of things."

Alex nodded. "Yeah, did you know that he's working as a professional make-up artist now?"

"No, I didn't." Ginny said. "How gay of him."

"It should suit him perfectly, then." Alex grabbed her hand. "Come on, it was a long time since we were at a café together. You don't have time for me anymore." With that, she dragged her towards the nearest café she could spot.

------------------------------

With a frustrated groan, Ginny threw the book that she was trying to read on the floor. She just couldn't concentrate. Today was the 25th of May, 2001, precisely three years on the day since she had left her family and boyfriend behind in the dark. It was also the day of the Final Battle, and in the evening she had a Ball to attend to. Ginny didn't think of that right now, though. Harry with the rest of the Weasleys was at the cemetery, visiting her "grave" seeing as it was her supposed death day. Harry had asked her to go with him, but she had rejected. She knew that Harry was rather grateful for that, she guessed that he wanted a moment alone with his "dead" girlfriend.

Ever since he left, the guilt had dug deeper into her mind. When she had lived without Harry, she hadn't thought about it so much, but now she felt filthier and more unworthy every day that passed. Her family hadn't done anything wrong; they were only suffering because she had been so weak. But what if they turned themselves against her? What if they never wished to see her again? Ginny was dead scared to even think about it. How hard wouldn't it then be to tell them?

Her thoughts were cut off, as she heard a small pop in the kitchen, which meant that Harry had arrived.

"Hello!" She called. When no answer came, she frowned and rose from the couch in the living room and walked over to the kitchen.

Harry had sunk down onto a chair, with his head in his hands. Ginny was a bit surprised when she heard a sob escape through his finger. She could count on her left hand all those times she had seen Harry cry. She approached slowly, not really knowing if this was something that she was allowed to interfere with, maybe it was too personal for Harry. Ginny got down on her knees in front of Harry, moving her hand out to stroke his shoulder. To her surprise, Harry grabbed her hand with his and held if against his cheek, as if his life depended on it. Still sobbing, he pulled her towards him as far as he could, burying his head in her hair. With every burning tear that ran down her neck, she felt more and more guilt and grief. How had it come to this? Here she was, comforting her boyfriend, who cried over her death. She continued to stroke his neck, not really knowing what to do.

"Shhh…" she whispered, whishing to ease his sobs. His pain was slowly killing her too; she couldn't go on like this. Harry's thorax went up and down, and his firm grip around her shoulders almost hurt. It was right then when she sat there kneeling on the floor in front of a sobbing Harry, trying to comfort him, that she made her decision. No more lies. No more pretending that everything will be fine. No more escapes. Harry had to know the truth. Not tonight, but after that, as soon as she had the chance to.

"I miss her so much, Ev…I miss her so much…" Harry mumbled.

"I know, Harry. I know exactly how you feel." Ginny murmured. Harry gripped her tighter.

"I know that you know. That's why I love you so much." He stopped for a second, letting the sobs out. "I know that I depend on you too much, but I can't help it…I don't know what else I could do…"

"It's okay Harry, everything will be fine in the end." She said it maybe more to convince herself than Harry. He pulled back a bit, so that he could look her into the eyes.

"Do you really think so? That everything will just work out by itself?"

She nodded. Harry smiled slightly, stroking her cheek with his thumb. His face was wet and his eyes all puffed and red. For some reason, it only made her feel even more heartless. Harry sniffed a bit and gathered his voice.

"I really want to believe you, you know. But it's so hard sometimes, to believe that things will turn out right." He mumbled.

"I know." She whispered. "I felt the same, still do sometimes." She lay her hand ever his, holding it gently.

"You know," Harry mumbled. "When I feel like this, like everything worth living for is gone, I stop and think about you and then the feeling is gone."

Ginny realised that tears were falling down her own face now. Absently she dried her face with the back of her hand.

"I don't know what I would do without you either, you know. I'm still fucking scared that you will leave me." She whispered.

Harry caught a tears falling down her cheek with his finger. "I've told you, Ev. I'm not going anywhere."

She smiled at him, holding his hand a bit harder. This was one of those moments when she really dared to believe that everything would be all right, Harry would understand and forgive her. She leaned upwards and kissed Harry's mouth softly. They stayed like that, with Ginny on the floor and Harry leaning over her in the chair, slowly kissing. There were no aroused feelings, only softness and trust. Right then, the world was far, far away and everything would last forever.

---------------------------

About two hours later, Harry was sitting in the couch in his living room looking at Alex and Romain trying their best to make a respectable hairstyle out of Ev's wild locks. Armed with hairspray and a hair-dryer they fought bravely, and after about 45 minutes they had made it look really elegant and classy.

Harry still felt really uncertain about Ev. Honestly, he had dedicated his life to a woman whose name he didn't know. He didn't know anything about her past life, but for some reason, it didn't bother him as much as he thought should do. He guessed it was because he knew Ev, he just didn't know who she was. Harry knew what she loved, what she hated, how angry she was in the mornings, how much she loved to have fun with her friends, how much she valued life and how much she loved him. The only thing he didn't know was her name. There was probably an explanation for it, and Harry really didn't want to ruin their relationship.

This was the first time that Ev's friends visited his flat, but apparently the anti-muggle charms worked, none of them had noticed anything funny. Both Alex and Romain seemed to take their task very seriously. To Harry it didn't matter very much, Ev always looked gorgeous in his eyes, but he understood that this was important for her. Harry jumped a bit when he heard Ev whimper. Alex was standing over her with a pair of tweezers in her hand.

"Oh come off it, Ev. You're overreacting." Alex said, removing another hair from Ev's eyebrows.

"No, I'm not. Can't we just forget about the eyebrows? Nobody looks at the eyebrows." Ev grumbled.

"No, darling. You'll thank us later, believe me."

Ev sighed while Romain only shook his head, smiling.

Once the eyebrows were done, Romain continued with the make-up. Harry had never in his wildest dreams thought that applying make-up could take so much time. It took over an hour before Romain and Alex was fully satisfied. By then, Harry had since long lost interest and had picked up a book from the floor, which he guessed belonged to Ev. But now he came over to look though, and Ev really looked fabulous. Her lips were redder than usual, and her eye shadow was red closest to her eyes, and then it became pinker at the edges. Somehow her eyes seemed to be both darker and bigger, and her cheeks were wonderfully smooth and slightly pink. Her hair was pulled back from her face, and then it fell down in a cascade of curls over one shoulder.

"You look beautiful," he said. "Really beautiful."

"Thanks," She smiled. "I'm quite satisfied myself. But you're not allowed to kiss me during the whole night, you know."

Harry snorted. "Do you honestly think I will be able to control myself when you look this gorgeous?"

"You'll have to, I'm not letting you destroy my appearance tonight."

"Have you shaved you legs or do we need to do it now?" Alex interrupted.

"No, I did it when I showered." Ev answered.

"Good, then there's not so much left to do."

"Why do you shave you legs?" Harry asked, confused. "Nobody will see your legs under your dress?"

"No," Ginny agreed. "But I will know that they aren't shaved, and it irritates me. It makes me feel unbalanced, to look good on the outside but not underneath."

"But it's totally unnecessary!" He objected.

"No, it's not. It's just something that guys like you don't understand." Ev explained with a smile that made him feel like he was four years old.

Ev turned towards Alex and Romain. "Okay, I guess we should put on the dress now."

"Yeah."

Ev began to unbutton her cotton shirt, and it made Harry a bit uncomfortable as Romain was present in the room, but apparently it didn't seem to disturb neither Alex nor Ev. Harry simply guessed that things like that didn't matter when it came to gay people.

"Well," he said, "I should probably get ready to. Hermione and Ron are due in about an hour."

Ev only nodded at him.

Wizards had hooked up on the muggle trend to arrive in limousines at big public occasions, probably just so that the press could get even more time to take pictures of the celebrities. Seeing as Harry, Ron and Hermione were counted as celebrities; they were expected to arrive like everybody else. So they had made it a habit to arrive together, and that was why Hermione and Ron were coming soon. Inside himself, Harry felt very grateful towards Ev. He had always felt left out beside Ron and Hermione, even though he was the Guest of Honour at the Ball. But this time he wasn't going alone.

He smiled to himself as he walked towards the bathroom to take a quick shower, and realised that he was actually looking forward to the evening. Ev would finally meet his other friends, something that she had often talked about.

After a little more than half an hour, Harry had showered, shaved, put on his emerald green tuxedo and had made at least five worthless attempts to tame his hair. Giving up, he sighed and made his way from his bedroom towards the others in the living room. Ev was standing in front of the mirror, examining herself from every possible angle. Alex and Romain were looking at her with critical eyes, trying to find something to improve. Harry smiled at the fact that it had taken him less than an hour to prepare himself, Ev almost four. He really was happy that he was a guy.

The red dress suited Ev. It made her brown hair look richer and really beautiful and her make-up matched the dress. The black gloves that reached above her elbows looked good against ribbon around her dress and her black high-heels. Ev wasn't showing any cleavage, but a good deal of her shoulders. She had a simple silver necklace around her delicate, white shoulders with one single black stone. Harry drank in every detail, Ev had never looked better.

"You really look beautiful."

"Thanks." Ev said, smiling like a little girl.

Romain was surveying Harry up and down. "You really look gorgeous, love, but please tell me that you don't intend to go with your hair like that?" He said to Harry.

Harry was startled by Romain's comment. "Eh…well, I lived with this hair for twenty years, and it always does as it wants to. It simply look this way, I can't help it."

Romain shook his head disapprovingly. "That won't do." He said. "It looks fine on a daily basis, but when you're all dressed up like this, it just looks really silly." Then he walked over and grabbed Harry's arm, shoving him down on the chair that Ev had been sitting on before. Romain grabbed several suspicious looking cans and began to comb Harry's hair.

"Exactly what are you planning on doing?" Harry asked nervously.

"Don't worry darling, you will look so hot when I'm finished with you." Romain's answer didn't calm Harry's nerves one bit.

He heard a giggle behind him, and he turned his head towards a giggling Ev, who had a big grin over her face.

"Don't laugh."

"Don't turn you head." Romain said, and turned Harry's head back with a surprising strength. The giggling continued behind him.

It didn't turn out too bad actually. With the help of spray and mousse, Romain had parted his hair on one side, with his fringe falling in a sloping line, showing of his scar. On one side his hair was combed away from his face and behind his ear. It didn't look that bad, although Harry wasn't used to seeing his hair in any other way than the usual untidy fashion.

"I think you look really cute." Ev said from behind him.

"I don't know…" Harry said.

"You're not changing anything!" Romain said. "You look really hot, babe, no need to worry."

Just then, they heard the door open. Ron and Hermione usually used to apparate straight into Harry's flat, but since Harry had told them that muggles would be present they had chosen the "normal" way.

"It looks as if Ron and Hermione have arrived." Harry said, and walked past the kitchen into the hall. Apparently they hadn't bothered to press the door bell; they had just walked straight into his flat.

"Hello," Harry said. "good you came, we were just finished. You look absolutely lovely Hermione."

She smiled sweetly at him. "Thanks Harry. I didn't know if this dress suited me, but I must say I really like it now! And you don't look too bad yourself!"

Hermione gave him a quick hug, and then proceeded into the living room, where Alex was still fussing over Ev. When Harry and Ron had caught up with her, they realised that Hermione had stopped dead in the door opening.

"I think it looked better as it was before, change it back Al-"

"Alexandra!?" Hermione gasped, interrupting Ev. Alex immediately turned around on the spot. Then, she too gasped, looking at Hermione with big eyes.

"Oh my God." She said after some minutes. "Hermione Granger?"

Hermione continued to stare. The rest of the people in the room were looking between Hermione and Alex, wondering what the hell was going on.

Then Hermione slowly nodded. "Yeah…or…well, actually its Weasley now."

"I…see." Alex said slowly. The two of them stared at each other, both with a surprised and suspicious expression.

"Ehh…sorry to interrupt, but do you two kind of know each other?"

Both Hermione and Alex looked at Ev, then at each other and then back at Ev. Then Alex began to explain.

"Yeah, or, we did. Hermione and I knew each other in the past, from a period that I would rather not think about."

Hermione smiled a bit sarcastically.

"So you've realised that." She said.

"I realised that back then already." Alex said, with sadness in her voice.

"Sorry, but I really don't understand anything." Harry said, confused. "Would you mind elaborating a bit?"

Hermione sighed. "Before Hogwarts, I went to a school in my village. Alex and I were in the same class, and we weren't really best friends."

"That's an understatement." Alex snorted. "We hated each other."

It went quiet once more, while everyone seemed to take in the news; Hermione and Alex still looking at each other with interest. If they had hated each other before, Harry thought, they looked more interested than disgusted by each other now.

It was Alex who broke the silence.

"I'm sorry, for all I did to you, you know…"

Hermione smiled. "It's okay. I wasn't very nice to you either."

Alex snorted again. "I was ten times worse. I bullied you and turned all your friends against you, while you only told the truth about me. I _was_ a nasty, insensitive little bitch back then who thought I could rule over everybody and had the right to pick on others, just because I didn't want other people to feel loved when I didn't feel loved myself."

Hermione only shrugged her shoulders. "Once your brother told me that your father raped and abused you, I didn't hate you so much; I only felt sorry for you."

"He told you about that?" Alex asked surprised.

Hermione nodded. "Yeah, he did. He always used to comfort me when I was feeling sad because you had been nasty towards me. I think he wanted to make up for you, somehow."

Alex nodded. "He was always so considerate and nice."

"Don't you meet him very often anymore? I thought that you and he ran away from home when you were sixteen."

"He's dead." Alex said shortly, clearly not wanting to go any deeper into the subject.

"Oh. I'm sorry." Hermione really looked so too. "He was always so nice."

She was quiet for a while, uncertain if she was allowed to ask what she wanted to ask. "How did he die?" Hermione whispered finally.

"He took to much horse one night, and then he was gone. I don't think he was very happy, so maybe that was the best." Alex tone was indifferent, but Ev had told Harry that she'd taken her brother's death very badly.

"I had no idea that you and Alex knew each other…" Ev said.

"How could you know? I don't speak about my past very much…" Hermione said. "That's actually one of the reasons for me being so cold towards you. I'm sorry about that. You reminded me of Alex so much, you wore the same skirt that Alexandra had worn that night when-"

"What skirt?" Alex asked.

"The pink one." Ev said. "You gave it to me about a year ago."

"Whatever." Hermione continued, sinking down on a chair. "You had her skirt, so at first, I thought you were Alexandra. And that reminded me of the night when I had been invited to a party, which didn't happen very often, and I had taken Viktor Krum with me. I had been out in the garden for a while, and when I returned, Viktor and Alexandra were snogging on the sofa. I knew that you had only done it to make me feel bad, and it did. It felt as if everyone was laughing behind my back. I don't think I hated you more than what I did that moment." Hermione said softly.

"I'm sorry." Alex said gravely. "I guess I couldn't stand the thought of a guy wanting you."

"You had your reasons." Hermione replied. Alex nodded slowly. They looked at each other for several moments. They both seemed to try and put this tragic and sad part of their lives behind themselves, to apologize and then move on. Harry knew very little about Hermione's past muggle life, she had never talked about it. Now he realised, that she had never spoken about any friends, probably because she had never had any. He wasn't very angry with Alex though, he knew that she was a great girl. Everybody made mistakes, and if her father had raped her, then he really couldn't blame her. Hermione had just been unfortunate to be the one who Alex picked as her bullying victim. Those times seemed to be over now that they were looking at each other with a careful interest.

"We should get going." Ron said who had been quiet during the whole scene. It was probably hard for him to deal with the fact that his wife had been harassed and he knew nothing about it.

"Yeah." Hermione said and stood up. "I guess we should probably meet some day over a cup of coffee, to talk…about things." She said to Alex, who nodded seriously, her pink hair bobbing.

Harry made a gesture towards Ev, and together they walked towards the door. The whole group went down the stairs down to the waiting limo. There was still a miserable silence surrounding them all when they entered the car. Alex and Romain told them to enjoy themselves and waved to them before they closed the door.

The car started rolling, but they hadn't reached the end of the street until the car stopped suddenly. The door opened from the outside, and Alex's pink hair appeared in the door way. Everyone looked surprised at her, and she suddenly blushed furiously.

"Ehh…sorry, but I forgot. I …ehh…I just wanted to tell you Hermione, that…that you look great tonight. That dress was really made for you." Without giving Hermione a chance to answer, she closed the door and the limo started driving again.

Pure shock was painted all over Hermione's face, but after some seconds, her face split up in a happy, content smile.

------------------------------

**In Chapter Thirteen: **

_Ginny's heart froze when she recognized one of girls. Harry had apparently said something funny, because she began to laugh lightly, showing Harry her perfect smile. Her brown eyes were fixed on him and a monkey could see that they were filled with adoration and want. Cho Chang never stopped to hunt her. _

Hehe, yep, the next chapter will be the Ball, obviously. So, what do you think about the whole Alex/Hermione story? Personally I had really fun when I wrote the scene between Romain and Harry. Romain is offically my favorite character in this story, gay people are simply so much more fun that others!


	14. Ch 13: Glamour For Glamour

**A/N: **Hello there! I know, I know, I'm citrating the Ark again, but I just couldn't help myself. The title just fit too much, you know. I hope you will like the chapter; it's about the ball, which I guess you've already found out.

Millions of thanks to my beta, carolquin. Not only does she help me with my small mistakes, but she is a very nice girl who gives me good feedback too!

And don't for your life forget that review!

**Chapter**** Thirteen: Glamour For Glamour**

_People here in your neighbourhood_

_Act real cool but they dance no good_

_I don't care but I've been told_

_That all those people ain't got no soul_

_I kick them where the sun don't shine_

_And take you down to my side of town_

_I don't care what the others say_

_When I've found a new game to play_

_-"Glamour for glamour" by the Ark_

The thoughts of Hermione's and Alex's past relationship was swimming in Ev's mind; she had almost forgotten about what was about to happen tonight when Harry nudged her and asked her if she was nervous.

"A bit…I guess." She said, clutching her little black handbag.

"It'll be fine." Harry smiled. "Just remember to always smile and don't swear and everybody will love you."

Ginny only nodded nervously. Now that Harry had mentioned it, she could feel the tension building up. This was the first time that she appeared in her own world in public. And, it was the first time she appeared as Harry's girlfriend too. What if nobody was interested in her? She could just imagine it, standing in the middle of a mob of her old friends and nobody talked to her.

_You're__ being stupid._ She told herself. _Of course they will, I'm here as Harry's girlfriend and they all love Harry. Hell, I'll probably be tired of all the attention I get after some while. _Ginny tried to calm herself, but it didn't succeed very well. She was filled with anxiousness from knowing that she would meet her old friends, and the now familiar, constant fear that somebody would reveal her secret. Harry laid his hand over hers on the seat between them, and she smiled at him. He was so sweet. Ginny swallowed and took a deep breath; there was nothing to worry about. She would meet all her old friends after three years, why wasn't she happy?

The limo began to slow down, and she could see the outline of a big building in the distance. It was getting dark, and the silhouette made it look really ghostly. Near the entrance though, lamps were put up to lighten up the path up to the big house. Ginny had bought the Daily Prophet almost every day, so she knew that this was more a media stunt than a day to actually think about the victims in the Second War.

"What is this building they are holding the Ball at?" Ginny asked.

"It's where The Ministry of Magic had their headquarters a long time ago. I think they stopped using it about seven centuries ago. Now it's only used for official ceremonies like this." Hermione explained. Ginny tried to keep her smile back; it felt so good to hear Hermione explain things like she had always done. Hadn't they changed since she saw them the last time?

"I hope we will be able to get in fast, so we can get some food." Ron said, eyeing the mob of photographers around the entrance. _Apparently not_, Ginny thought to herself.

"You know we won't." Hermione answered. "Harry is after all the most important guest tonight. It's his party."

"I certainly haven't asked for it." Harry mumbled.

Hermione shook her head and smiled. "When will you learn, Harry, that people don't care about what you think? They are so worked up with worshipping you."

Harry didn't answer.

"Do you mean that we will have to stand there and let them take our pictures?" Ginny asked uncertainly.

"Yeah, how else would they be able to take pictures?"

"Well, I thought that we could just like, walk and they would take their pictures while we passed…kind of…" Ginny said, feeling stupid that she hadn't realised that she would be _this_ exposed.

"Don't worry, love. Just smile, you look beautiful, they'll love you." Harry said reassuringly. "And when they ask questions, only answer pure fact questions. As what your name is or how old you are. If they ask you about what you think about me staying single so long after Ginny, if you think that you're only a replacement for her or something similar, then don't answer. If you do, we will have stupid rumours in the newspapers about us tomorrow."

Ginny gulped. This didn't sound very easy to her at all.

"You'll be alright." Hermione said from across her. The older girl smiled at her, and Ginny tried to smile back. She was glad that things had changed between them; Hermione probably wouldn't have come over her coldness towards her if she hadn't met Alex. And Ginny felt that she really needed every support she could get now.

Right then the car stopped.

"Well," Harry said. "This is it. Don't forget to smile, that's the most important thing."

The door was opened by somebody outside and Ginny could already here the sound from all the cameras. The limo had black windows, so the press had no idea who was arriving. She could hear a reporters voice on the outside, speaking so fast he could as if his life depended on it.

"A new car has just come, and we can't see who is in it yet. Could it be the Minister who finally has arrived? Or could it may- Oh my God, dear WWN listeners I'm standing here and I can tell you that Hermione Weasley is right now stepping out of the car! She is followed by her husband Ron Weasley, the two of them are known as the constant companions of The Boy Who Lived. Could it be that Harry Potter himself is arriving together with them, as he usually does? I can tell you my dear listeners, that Hermione Weasley is looking stunning in a green dress and she is also wearing –"

Ginny stopped listening; it only made her more nervous. Ron and Hermione had gone now, so she guessed it was their turn now.

Harry looked at her. "Ready?"

"I think so." Ginny replied shakily.

"Don't worry, I'll be here. I'll go out first and then I'll help you out, okay?"

She nodded.

Harry moved away from her side and the stepped out of the limo. Immediately people began to scream and the WWN reporter's voice drowned in the sound from the cameras and all the reporter's questions. Harry turned towards her and held out his hand towards her.

"Come on gorgeous."

Ginny only managed to grab his hand and then she somehow succeeded, a bit clumsy perhaps, to move out of the protecting shield the limo was.

She hadn't thought that it was possible to have so many cameras in the same place. And the light, she thought she was going to become blind by the flashes. She desperately clung to Harry's hand.

"Mr. Potter, can you tells us who your date is?"

"Is this the mysterious woman that we've seen in the papers lately?"

"Miss, what's your name? How did you meet Mr. Potter? Did you go to Hogwarts together?"

"Did you fight in the Second War just like Harry's other friends?"

Ginny was dumbstruck. What was she supposed to do? Never in her life had anybody been so interested in her. And all the cameras, how should she look? Ginny could see Ron and Hermione standing a couple of meters ahead of them, facing the cameras. Most of the cameras were facing her and Harry though.

"Smile!" Harry whispered.

In an instant, she put on the best smile she could master and tried to look straight into the cameras' flashes without blinking. It felt really stupid, to just stand there and smile. Like very other girl, Ginny had sometime dreamt of being in the limelight, to be someone's idol. But here she was, standing with every camera on herself and all she could feel was emptiness. It was like, okay, is this all? Maybe it was because she only got the attention because of Harry, but she couldn't help but feel that this was so useless. Why did people spend so much energy on somebody like her?

"Come on," Harry said, with the reporter's never-ending questions shouted in his ears. "let's get inside."

They began to walk towards the big double doors, Ginny concentrating hard on not falling. It wasn't very easy to walk with two inches long stiletto heels when your legs were shaking madly.

"Harry, Harry, over here!" Shouted somebody, whose voice sounded rather familiar. Ginny almost dropped the smile on her face when she saw who it was. Colin Creevey. Apparently Harry had heard him too, because he began to steer Ginny over to where he was standing, with his camera in his hand.

"That's Colin, we went at Hogwarts together. He's nice, although he exaggerates a bit sometimes. I guess we can't get out of here before we speak to someone, and then Colin is the best one." Harry whispered to her

"Hello Harry." Colin said with a grin, speaking loudly so that Harry could hear him. "It's wonderful to see that you've loosened up a bit."

Harry smiled and took Ginny's hand.

"Would you mind telling us your name miss?" Colin asked her.

Ginny felt that it was a lot better to talk to Colin, who she knew was okay, than any of the other hysterical reporters.

"I'm Evelyn Flynn." She said with a rather shaky voice.

"How did you meet Harry? Through work perhaps, are you an auror too?"

"Ehh…no. I'm what you call a muggle, I can't do magic." Ev said. For some reason Harry gave her a strange look when she said this.

"A muggle! Interesting! What do you work as then?" Colin said, writing notes feverishly.

"I'm a waitress…and bartender."

Colin grinned even broader. "And how did you meet Harry then?"

"Through my work." Was her only reply, Colin didn't seem very satisfied, but he didn't push her.

"And how did you do to capture our hero's heart? I think every young girl would like to know that."

"Ehh…I donno…I didn't do so very much. We went on very well together, and then I suddenly found myself with a boyfriend."

Colin nodded. "I see." Then he looked expectantly. "Could I perhaps take your picture? My boss would be so happy if I got a good pic of our hero."

Harry didn't seem very pleased, but only nodded. Ginny and Harry posed for another minute, while Colin ordered them around. There were still flashes going on around them, Ginny began to feel rather uneasy with all the attention.

"A kiss, Harry? Please?!" Colin said suddenly.

Harry sighed. "Okay, but that's your last one."

Colin smiled brightly and made thumbs up.

Harry turned towards Ginny and leaned slowly in to kiss her. As usually, Harry's kiss made her knees week and Ginny almost forgot about all the cameras. The kiss probably lasted for longer than what seemed to be appropriate, and when they broke of she realised that her arms had slid up around his neck.

"Come on, let's get inside." Harry smiled one last time at the cameras and then proceeded towards the gigantic double doors. The world around Ginny began to disappear when she drew nearer. She knew that behind those doors her old life waited. Only a name wrong. She knew she could have everything back if only she dared to. Or, everything could also go wrong, and Ginny would find herself heartbroken and alone once again. It was all up to Harry, really.

The doors opened themselves for them when they got close. Ginny gasped when she saw the magnificent hall before her. It was painted in gold and green, which made a very cozy yet elegant look. Around the whole room hundreds of people were moving, everyone dressed in gala clothes.

"What the hell am I doing here?" Ginny whispered to Harry.

He laughed. "Relax, you'll be fine. Come one, let's join Ron and Hermione."

The two of them were standing talking to a girl with dirty blonde hair whose date was a familiar brown-haired bow that kept looking around nervously. Ginny smiled to herself, Luna and Neville were two of her favourite people on earth.

"Hello there." Luna said immediately as they approached. "I saw you in the papers the other day. You didn't look like I expected you to, but I guess that's a good thing."

Ginny didn't know what to answer to that comment; she usually didn't when it came to Luna.

"I'm Luna Lovegood. This is my boyfriend Neville Longbottom." Ginny shook both Luna's and Neville's hands. It seemed as if Neville was used to Luna doing all the talking, he just smiled at her when he shook her hand.

Ginny looked closely at both Luna and Neville. They both looked older and different, and at the same time so much like they used to. Luna still had the usual far-away look, but with a hint of curiosity in her eyes, and Neville looked as sweet as always but his back was a bit straighter and a bit more confident. They were holding hands, and even though they didn't talk to or look at each other they seemed to be very aware of the others presence.

"Harry! Ron!" Ginny looked behind herself. Lavender Brown was walking fast towards them, dragging a slightly bored looking Seamus Finnegan in her left hand.

"It's so good to see you all!" Lavender said when they had walked up to them. She smiled brightly. Then she noticed Ginny, and her expression immediately turned to from delight to surprise.

"You must be Harry's girlfriend! I've bee so curious about you!" Lavender eagerly reached out her hand towards her. Ginny once again had this funny feeling, as if she really was absent and she was just looking from afar. Like a dream, she was only waiting until she would wake up once more. Because of her slightly confused state, she just stood beside Harry with a shy smile, holding on to his hand for dear life. It was only with Harry that she knew exactly how she should act.

More people joined them. Parvati Patil and her twin Padma emerged; apparently Parvati was engaged to Terry Boot. Ginny could slightly recall that Terry had been a nice boy at Hogwarts, although he had maybe been a bit too occupied with betting on Quidditch teams with his mates. Michael had told her when they were together that Terry had big debts already. Soon Ginny could spot Dean Thomas in the mass of people, and Ernie Macmillan, Hannah Abbott, Susan Bones, Justin Finch-Fletchley, Katie Bell and Alicia Spinnet. There were so many handshakes and smiles and "Nice to meet you" that Ginny became dizzy.

A waiter dressed in white passed by, and Ginny took a glass of champagne from his tray. _This is a bit different from the parties I'm used at, _she thought. She was rather surprised at the number of her old friends that were here. Ginny knew that only a few were invited to the End-of-War Ball, but almost the whole of the DA seemed to be here.

"Many of your friends seem to be here, I thought that they didn't invite many people to this celebration." Ginny asked Harry in a whisper.

"They don't." Harry said, shaking his head. "But besides all the Ministry Officials, they invite everyone who fought on our side in the War. So that means almost the whole of the Order of the Phoenix and Dumbledore's Army is here."

Ginny nodded.

"Speaking about Ministry Officials, here comes the Minister himself." Harry mumbled. "He loves to present me to everyone as if I was I prize he won."

"Harry, my dear boy…" The Minister said with a smile, as if Harry was five years old. "How have you been? I've heard rumours about you and a young woman…" He broke of when he spotted Ginny.

The smile on Harry's face was very clearly forced, and he merely touched the Minister's hand.

"This is Evelyn Flynn. The papers have been very interested in our relationship, yes." Harry said.

Ginny shook the Minister's hand, feeling his small pig eyes travel over her dress and body. She didn't like the look one bit.

"I must say you look dashing, Miss Flynn." He said, clearly trying to ingratiate.

Ginny only gave him a smile filled with coldness. Apparently the Minister didn't think that it would be such a good thing to stay, so he wandered of to Harry's and Ginny's delight.

"I can't say I liked him very much." Ginny whispered.

"Neither do I. It seems as if every Minister we get behaves this way towards me. If they don't try to shut me away, of course."

Ginny smiled.

"Wotcher Harry, and Harry's girl who had a nice skirt!"

Ginny turned around and saw a grinning Tonks standing behind her with her arm linked with a rather tired-looking Remus. She remembered that he had just had a bad heart failure.

"Hello, it's great to see you again." Ginny said to Tonks, glancing at Remus. She hadn't seen him since she came back, and hadn't been introduced either. Tonks seemed to notice this.

"Ev, this is my husband Remus Lupin and Moony, this is the girl who has dug Harry out of his hole at last, Evelyn Flynn."

They shook hands, Remus smiling and looking intently at her with his grey eyes. Although he looked tired, his glance was sharp as a knife. Ginny's smile faltered slightly. Had he recognized her?

If he had though, she was saved by a man who announced that the dinner now was about to take place in the Dining Hall. Harry nudged Ginny in her side to make her walk. After a while Ginny noticed that they were almost the only one moving, except for the minister and his wife.

"Why are the others just standing there, staring at us?" She mumbled out of the corner of her mouth to Harry.

"I'm the Guest of Honour, because this party would never exist if I hadn't killed Voldemort. That's why I'm supposed to go first to the Dining Hall. They love formalities here." His tone told her that he wasn't as found of them.

Ginny couldn't help but gasp once more when they entered the Dining Hall. There were probably thirty long tables in the whole room, and in the middle was the High Table. The room was huge; it probably had room for thousand guests in here. She felt unsure after this; she hadn't been prepared for this. The press, the hundreds of guests, and being treated like some kind of Guest of Honour.

They found their seats in the middle of the High Table, opposite the Minister and his wife. The other guests began to fill in; Ginny understood that there was some kind of system to it. Those who were supposed to sit far back in the Hall came first. She soon realised that it would take ages for everyone to sit down, after five minutes only two tables were full.

"How long do we have to sit here?" Ginny mumbled.

"At least twenty minutes."

Ginny groaned.

"Patience, my dear, patience." Harry whispered.

"How do manage to go through this every year without going crazy?"

"Just wait until the speeches start. This is nothing." Harry said with a grin.

Ginny sighed. This was going to be a _long _evening.

Once everyone was seated the waiters came with the wine, and then the food. Nobody started to eat though. Then the Minister stood up, and raised his wand towards his throat.

"It's an honour for me to welcome you all here today." He began. "We have all gathered here today to celebrate one of the happiest and tragic days of our lives. Today, the 25th of May, The Dark Lord finally met his fate and fell, and brought hundreds of lives with him in the grave."

"He never got a fucking grave." Harry mumbled.

"But we all know that we wouldn't sit here today if it wasn't for one person. We owe him our lives, our happiness and our future. That's why I think we shall, as we always do, raise and drink to Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, who saved us all."

Immediately, everyone except for Harry began to stand up. Ginny realised that she should probably do so too. She rose quickly and almost knocked over her chair in the movement. Ginny took her glass in one hand and looked once more at the Minister.

"To Harry Potter." He said.

"To Harry Potter." The rest repeated. Ginny looked at Harry and tried not to giggle at his austere expression as she drank.

Once everyone was seated again people began to eat. Harry happily tucked in but Ginny look confusedly at the plate in front if her. Which cutlery was she supposed to use? There were probably five different ones.

"Harry!" She whispered desperately. He looked at her confused expression and then down at her untouched plate.

"You work your way towards the plate, so you begin with the ones who are furthest away."

Ginny nodded, and then quickly did as he had said. She noticed that her food wasn't the same as the others; apparently they knew that she had a vegetarian diet.

After that, things went rather smoothly. Harry sat on her left side, and on her right sat an old man with silvery white hair who smelled pipe tobacco, whose name was Robert Thickey. Apparently his great-great-grand-father had founded a ward in St. Mungos many years ago. He was a very nice old man, of the kind who seemed to go back to their childhood when their hair changed colour. Robert Thickey happily explained everything about Hogwarts to her seeing as she pretended to be a muggle, and told her stories from his time at the school for over sixty years ago. He said something very interesting things about broom cupboards and a certain Minerva McGonagall, but Ginny wasn't sure if he was telling the truth or not. Once all the stupid formalities were over, it was actually quite enjoyable.

Not the speeches though. At least ten different old men held speeches and they all sounded the same. Ginny pressed her fingernails into her hands under the table so that she shouldn't fall asleep. The speeches all seemed to contain the same words, "duty", "war", "fight", "battle", "hero", "our saviour" and "honour". It was all very tiring. She was very relieved when they were allowed to leave the table and proceed into the Ball Room.

Harry wasn't as pleased, though.

"You are supposed to dace the first dance with your date. I warn you, I'm going to step on your feet." He said. "I hate dancing."

"No you don't." Ginny replied calmly.

"What do you know about that?" Harry asked, raising his eyebrows.

"I've seen you dance happily several times."

Harry snorted. "Well, that was when I was drunk. And that wasn't a stupid waltz."

Ginny only giggled.

"Come on, the music has started." Harry said.

He dragged her on to the dance floor with the rest of the guests. Ginny tried hard not to laugh out loud at the stern expression on his face when he led her over the floor. Harry noticed her grin and scowled at her.

"Don't laugh at my misery."

"You're not that bad you know. But a little bit more tactfulness wouldn't hurt." She said teasingly. Then she leaned up to kiss him, to cheer him up a bit. Harry gladly invited her tongue into his mouth and pulled her closer towards him. It was a slow dance, so it wasn't too hard. Ginny guessed that it wasn't very appropriate to make out in the middle of the dance floor, but she didn't care, it seemed to brighten Harry's mood a bit.

Robert Thickey was a very good dancer. He steadily led her, and seemed to possess the tactfulness that Harry didn't. He chatted merrily about everything as they danced, and Ginny decided that this evening would probably turn out to be quite delightful, beside all the tiring ceremonies. When the music ended, Mr. Thickey kissed her hand and thanked her, before he rushed of to find another dance partner.

Ginny looked around, but she couldn't find Harry. She spotted Hermione and Ron talking to Remus and Tonks, and made her way there.

"Hello." She said. "Are you enjoying yourselves?"

"Yeah, until the dancing started." Ron muttered.

"Come of it Ron." Hermione smiled. "It's not that bad as long as you actually try to take more than two steps."

"I can't dance, that's a simple fact. My feet aren't made for it."

"But your stomach is certainly made for eating." Hermione turned towards Ginny. "Can you believe that he ate double portions of everything? I thought I was going to throw up after three."

Everyone laughed.

"The worst thing is that you get so sleepy when you've eaten so much, and then you have to listen to all these bloody speeches. I would have fallen asleep it Remus hadn't poked me every once in a while." Tonks said. "I swear that if someone had said something about our duty to fight again I would have hexed him."

Remus was fixing Ginny with his grey eyes while Tonks talked. When Hermione, Ron and Tonks continued to talk about the Ball, he turned towards her.

"You know that I'm Harry's godfather, right?"

She nodded.

"I've seen all of Harry's different moods along the years. Ginny's death nearly broke him; there was a time when I thought that we would never get the old Harry back again. Nothing we could do could make him happy again, I'm quite sure that he needed you. I just wanted to say thanks, for all you've done for Harry. It's hurt us all so much, to see him that way. So thank you."

Ginny hadn't expected this. At the same time as she felt glad, a knife struck into her chest. Remus stood here and thought that she would make everything right. He didn't understand that soon Harry was about to be heartbroken again. She smiled sadly at Remus.

"That's very sweet of you sir. Harry has helped me too, you know." Ginny said sadly.

Remus took her arm, and they began to walk away from the other. He seemed to want her alone.

"You don't sound very happy, though. Is there something wrong between you and Harry?"

Ginny sighed. Remus always seemed to read her like an open book, and she had longed so desperately for someone to talk to these last weeks.

"Not yet. But I know that one day Harry will find out something about me, and I'm dead scared that he will leave me then."

"What could this be, that is so horrible?" Remus said.

"I can't tell you, sir. But it has something to do with my past, something I did then. I deeply regret it now, but what done is done."

"I think you've judged Harry wrong now. He is one of the most understanding and caring people I know. I doubt very much that he will leave you just for something that happened in the past."

"But what I have done…it's so cruel. And it affects him, that's the worst. I know that I have caused him so much pain. I don't think he will ever forgive me when he finds out." Ginny said dramatically.

Remus looked her straight into her eyes. Ginny could sense the wheels turning in his brilliant head, trying to find out what it was that she meant. When he didn't, he asked her to elaborate.

"I donno. You can say that I'm the one who took Ginny away from him. It's not entirely my fault, but mostly."

Remus had stopped now. They were no longer in the big Ball Room with the other, but in a smaller hall that lead out to the garden in the back.

"Do you mean that you killed Ginny?!" Remus hissed.

"No!" Ginny replied quickly. "I never did such a thing. But it's my fault that Harry's been without her for three years."

"And still is." Remus corrected.

"Yes, of course."

Remus sighed. "I must say that I don't fully understand Miss Flynn. It's obvious that the killer is the one who is responsible for why Ginny is not here today. And if you didn't kill her, then I don't see how it is your fault. Did you _know_ Ginny?"

Ginny bit her lip. She would have to lie to make him understand. Remus couldn't know about her existence before Harry.

"Kind of. That's not important. The reason for you not understanding is because you don't know the whole truth. And I can't tell you, Harry needs to know first."

Remus nodded. "I see. And your problem is that you can't live with Harry not knowing, and when he finds out you're scared that he will leave you."

"Exactly, and then I can't live either."

Remus smiled sarcastically. "You sure have put yourself in a tight spot."

"Yes. But it's mostly my fault. But what do you think I should do, sir? You know Harry so well."

"Tell him." Was his immediate reply. "As soon as you can. Harry can be very forgiving, but there is one thing Harry hates and that is to not know or to be lied to. He doesn't want to be left out."

Ginny nodded. "I have already figured out that I need to tell him soon. It hurts me to see him like this."

"Like this?"

"Grieving for Ginny when it's totally unnecessarily." She said without thinking.

"Why should it be unnecessarily?" Remus asked in a suspicious voice. Ginny realised that she had said something she shouldn't have said, but she didn't care. Harry would know soon, and then it was good if there was somebody else who knew something about it even if it wasn't the whole truth. Harry would need somebody like Remus to lean on.

"You'll understand one day, sir. Now I think that I would like to return back." She said.

Remus didn't seem satisfied, but he nodded and began to escort her back. Back in the Ball Room, she noticed that many had left the dance floor and stood chatting in small groups.

"I just spotted Dora, do you mind if I leave you here?" Remus said politely. His voice was thoughtful, which told her that he was still thinking.

"Of course. Thank you for the talk. I needed somebody who could give me advice."

"Anytime, Miss Flynn. I am very grateful for you telling me this, I won't tell anyone of course."

With that, they said goodbye. Ginny began to search for Harry's familiar black hair in the crowd. She spotted him not far from her, talking to four different girls. Ginny's heart froze when she recognized one of them. She was standing beside Harry, with her rounded arm gracefully laid on Harry's upper arm. Her black hair fell down her shoulders like a rainfall and she wore a stunning red dress that made her stand out against the other girls in the room. Harry had apparently said something funny, because she began to laugh lightly, showing Harry her perfect smile. Her brown eyes were fixed on him and a monkey could see that they were filled with adoration and want. Cho Chang never stopped to hunt her.

Ginny clenched her fits. She was Harry's girlfriend, what was he doing standing there letting that bitch climb on him? Angrily, Ginny began to walk towards them, determined to show Cho once and for all to whom Harry belonged. When she reached them, she slipper her hand behind his back and around his waist. He looked surprised and then he smiled happily at her.

"Hello there, gorgeous, where have you been? I've been looking for you." He said. Ginny liked to know that he had missed her. Those kinds of things always improved her self-confidence.

"I had a chat with your godfather. We went out for a bit." She said. Then, just because she couldn't resist it with Cho's eyes fixed on them, she leaned up and kissed Harry on the lips, lingering a few seconds. Harry's arm sneaked around her waist as well. When they broke off, he turned to Cho.

"This is Cho Chang, an old friend of mine. She was in the DA and on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team. Cho, this is my girlfriend Evelyn Flynn."

Cho reached out a small hand and Ginny took it, smiling.

"Nice to meet you." Ginny said with an over-sweet smile.

"My pleasure." Cho said, just as sweetly. Nobody could miss that fact that her eyes were hard as diamonds.

Harry seemed to notice the enmity between them, and quickly told Ginny that they needed to find Ron and Hermione.

"Before you ask," Harry said as they walked away. "Yes, I have dated her and it was a disaster. Yes, I may have found myself in a bed with her and no, I am not in any way interested in her."

"How did you know that I would ask that?" She said, a bit surprised that Harry had shagged Cho, she hadn't known. After she had "died", she hoped.

"The look you gave her could kill a Death Eater. I was scared that she would begin to cry, she always does."

"Maybe we should go back then." Ginny said thoughtfully.

"No." Harry said flatly and led her into the same room where she had been with Remus before, and out into the garden. They walk alongside the wall a bit, and then when nobody was in sight, Harry pushed her against the wall.

"Wha-" Was all she managed to say before Harry crushed his mouth over hers. An action she gladly welcomed.

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Remus Lupin's eyes followed Harry and Ev as they left the Ball Room. What Ev had told him was indeed very interesting, but just as confusing. Something was sure though; Evelyn Flynn was a woman who held a very big secret and there was something funny with the death of Ginny Weasley. The fact that both these women were "the one" for Harry made the whole thing even more confusing. Harry must play some kind of part in the whole drama, he maybe didn't even know so himself.

He knew one thing though; Evelyn Flynn had lit a fire in Harry that Remus thought had died with Ginny Weasley. And Remus desperately wanted that flame to keep on burning.

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**A/N: **So, did you like it? It was fun to write, although it took a very long time to write…Now review!

**In chapter Fourteen:**

"_No." He whispered, shaking his head. Ginny frowned._

"_Harry, what-?"_

_Harry stepped back even more, a pained expression on his face. "No. Please, don't do this to me. Don't do this." _

"_Please Ev." Harry said, sinking down on a chair. "Don't leave me."_


	15. Ch 14: I Wanted to Be So Perfect

**A/N:** Here it is, finally! The chapter you've been waiting for since the story started, almost. I really hope I didn't let you down. I'm sorry that it took me so long to update, I know that I promised many that I should post it last Sunday. But I've been ill, and there isn't much you can do when you're lying in your bed all day. I finish school tomorrow (save me, save me, save me), so hopefully I will have more time to write now.

Lots of thanks to my beta, carolquin, as usual, this story wouldn't be much without her.

**Ch****apter Fourteen: I Wanted to Be So Perfect**

_Do you remember  
The things we used to say?  
I feel so nervous  
When I think of yesterday_

_How could I let things  
Get to me so bad?  
How did I let things get to me?_

_Like dying in the sun_

_Will you hold on to me?  
I am feeling frail  
Will you hold on to me?  
We will never fail_

_I wanted to be so perfect you see  
I wanted to be so perfect_

_-"Dying in the Sun" by the Cranberries_

The man's voice in the radio was over-exited and he talked fast about some football match somewhere far away. Ginny sighed and turned it off. There was no work to go to, the dishes were done and she had eaten supper. Ginny was that kind of girl who grew restless when there was no work to do. She liked to work, liked to run around and do things. She flopped down on her sofa and picked up a magazine she had already read six times. After a few minutes Ginny gave up and threw it to the floor. She was _bored_.

Alex and Simon were having a night for themselves. Ashley visiting relatives. Romain somewhere chasing boys. She had even checked with Mariam, the woman at her restaurant, but even she was busy. Normally, Ginny would simply call Harry, but not today. The fact that she needed to tell him her secret scared the shite out of her, so she had tried to avoid him the best she could; making up stupid excuses for not meeting him and such. She had a feeling that Harry had noticed that something wasn't as it was supposed to be, so she couldn't procrastinate it for so much longer.

Just then her mobile rang. Ginny dived eagerly for it on the bed and looked at the screen. _Harry_, it said. _Speak about the devil_, Ginny thought with a sinking heart. Biting her lip, she pressed the button and raised it to her ear:

"Hello handsome."

"Hello gorgeous," came Harry's soft voice. "What are you up to, baby?"

"Absolutely nothing." Ginny sighed. "I have nothing to do and everyone is occupied."

Harry laughed silently. "You're so cute. You're always so restless; I don't think I've seen you not doing something for longer than ten seconds."

"I know, but it's so bloody _boring_!" Ginny complained. "What are you up to?"

"Absolutely nothing." She could hear his smile.

"Why are we sitting in two different flats with absolutely nothing to do, when we could be in one flat and have a lot of fun?" Ginny asked. She realised that she actually missed him; she hadn't seen him today or yesterday. The last time was a day after the Ball when they had been lying in Harry's bed all day, doing….things.

"A very good question." Harry said. "Come here, now!"

"Why don't you come here, you can move much faster than me." She whined.

"Because my bed is much bigger and more comfortable than yours." Ginny wasn't sure, but she thought she could hear something distressed in his voice.

"Hey, hey, hey, aren't you taking some things for granted here?" She teased.

"Well, we could bake cookies if you'd like that better." Harry said.

"Nahh…I think you taste better than any cookie."

"Then why are you even arguing if we want the same thing?" He pretended to sound irritated.

"Because you shouldn't take things for granted, it's a principle."

"Whatever," Harry said, sounding a bit impatient. "Just move your cute little arse here and I'll be satisfied."

"Yes sir." She giggled.

"Good. See you in a bit then."

"Yeah, bye."

"Bye, love you." His voice sounded unusually serious when he added the last bit.

Ginny sighed and threw then phone on the bed again. Would she or would she not tell him? She honestly had no idea. One second Ginny felt positive that she would be able to do it, the next one the fear took over her body for what consequences it could have. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. If she didn't tell him, she would just think about telling him all the time when she was with him. Ginny knew that it would hunt her until she had done it. _Yes_, she thought,_ it's time. It's now or never._ When that was decided, things seemed to be a little bit easier. Determined, she went to find her handbag with her wand.

-----------------------------

Half an hour later, Ginny stood outside Harry's door. She had arrived several minutes before, but she hadn't dared to press the bell.

_The first thing you need to do is to t__ell him that you need to talk. Don't wait, don't let him distract you, _Ginny thought. She looked at the door, for some reason it seemed to be very big and very frightening. What would happen when walks through? What would her life be like? Would she have to become used to living her usual, punk rocker life again without Harry? Even though she had lived three years without him, Ginny didn't think that she would cope without him now. When she had had it, when she had tasted life's enticing treasure, would she be able to live without it?

No, Ginny knew that she wouldn't. When she had left Harry, their memories had been filled with pain and distance, but it wasn't like that now. All she could think about was beauty; their love, the laughs they had shared, the dreams they had made up for the future. Hell, she didn't want to leave it. Ginny realised that this was the only thing she really wanted; everything else was of no significance.

_But maybe he won't be angry._ Another voice inside her said. _Remus said that he would be very surprised if Harry did and he is after all one of the persons who knows Harry best._ She took one deep breath once again, and then quickly, so that she didn't have time to change her mind, she pressed the door bell.

Harry opened the door almost immediately with a big grin on his face. Ginny was calmed slightly by his friendly face.

"I thought you would never come. What took you so long?" He asked.

"I missed the bus, sorry." Ginny lied quickly.

"Should have know, I know that you never arrive on time." He said, and then he grabbed her arm and yanked her inside, closing the door after her. Harry's hall was very small; her petite body was pressed against his strong one. She could feel his hot breath on her neck as he gently began to nibble it.

"I've missed you like hell." Then he moved his mouth up to hers. Ginny groaned as he slid his tongue into her mouth, it was so soft and warm. She didn't realise that she had dropped her bag until she had her arms around his neck, trying to come even closer. Their moths moved together, slowly but needy, drinking, savouring. Things felt so right here, in his arms. Ginny loved when they kissed like this, it was as if she could feel the whole of him inside her mouth. They broke apart momentarily for air, and then dove in for it again. Harry's hand moved lower, and she understood where he intended to take things. This wasn't the time though; she had prepared herself for telling him. And she needed to do it now.

Ginny broke the kiss.

"Harry, we need to talk." She said softly but seriously. Harry's whole body tensed up.

"What?" he whispered hoarsely.

"We need to talk, it's serious."

Harry let go of her, stepping back a bit.

"No." He whispered, shaking his head. Ginny frowned.

"Harry, what-?"

Harry stepped back even more, a pained expression on his face. "No. Please, don't do this to me. _Don't do this._"

This confused Ginny. What was he talking about? Did he already know?

"Please Ev." Harry said, sinking down on a chair. "Don't leave me."

"I'm not leaving you Harry. I don't understand what you're talking about." She said softly.

Harry looked up at her, slightly surprised. "You're not breaking up with me?"

"What?" Now she was _really_ confused. "What are you talking about Harry?"

Harry opened his mouth. Then he closed it and opened it again. "Well…I just thought…When you came and looked so serious and said that we needed to talk...I never really expected you to stay with me, you know, so I thought…that you…that you were going to break up with me."

Ginny blinked a few times. If she hadn't been so nervous, she would have thought that the whole situation was funny. She was worried that he would leave her, and he was worried that she would leave him. Maybe there was a chance that this would go quite smoothly.

"No Harry." She said and sank down in front of him. "The thing I fear the most is that I would be separated from you. But there is something I need to tell you, Harry, and I have no idea of how you are going to take it…"

Harry seemed to have calmed down, he gave her a thoughtful glance and nodded. "I was expecting this. Come on, we'll sit in the living room."

She didn't have time to react about his funny statement before he dragged her by the arm and pushed her down into the sofa. She choose to ignore it though, Ginny wanted to get on with this. Harry sat on the same couch facing her, leaning with his arm against the back of the sofa.

"Well….ehh…" Now that the moment had come, she had no idea about how she should start. "I don't know how to start, really…" She sighed. "Okay, I know that you will be very confused when I've told you everything, Harry, and probably angry. But I want you to know that I love you, even though things have unfolded this way. I didn't mean for it to become so complicated. All I ever wanted was a life where I could be happy, and a life with you. I love you Harry, and I doubt that I will ever stop loving you."

Harry nodded and took her hand. "Just continue."

Ginny looked down at her intertwined hands. "I'm sorry Harry, I'm so fucking sorry for what I have done. But I needed to." She inhaled slowly and then she looked up at him. "I've lied to you, Harry, I've lied to you about my whole life."

Ginny had expected to see confusion or surprise, even anger but not this calm expression.

"I know." He said quietly. Ginny's mouth fell open, shocked. He knew? How?

"What?" She said, confused. Why wasn't he angry? When did he find out? Ginny didn't understand anything at all…

Harry sighed. "I don't know who you are, but I know that you're not a muggle, that your name isn't Evelyn Flynn and that you don't look this way. That's all I know."

"But…when…how? I don't understand…" her voice trailed off. Ginny looked at Harry, he seemed tired somehow.

"I found red hair on your pillow one morning, and I couldn't imagine that somebody else had slept in that bed with you. Then Hermione explained to me that you couldn't be a muggle, because you could see both Hogwarts and the Quidditch match. And then I remembered that you didn't seem to exist in any kind of record or such…"

Ginny exhaled slowly. He already knew. Or at least a part of it. It confused her that he hadn't brought this up with her before, Harry hated when the truth was kept from him.

"I've done quite many mistakes, I see. More than I knew about. But why haven't you said anything sooner?"

"For the same reason to why I acted so funny before; I'm so fucking scared that I will lose you, and I would do anything to not lose you." Harry said, looking at her intensely. "I figured that you probably would tell me yourself, so I gave you the time you needed. I'm ready to sacrifice anything to have you, Ev. You're the best thing that has happened to me."

Ginny smiled slightly. "I actually talked to your godfather about it. I didn't tell him anything about who I was, but that I had lied to you, and he told me to tell you as soon as possible. I don't think I would have been able to do it if it wasn't for him, I have been so nervous, so scared."

Harry nodded. "Is that the reason for you avoiding me?"

"You noticed? Yeah…it was. Sorry about that."

"It's okay. But maybe you should continue telling me whatever it was that you were telling me."

Ginny sighed, "Yeah." She quieted for a while, thinking about how she should express herself.

"Before, in my other life, or whatever you should call it, I wasn't very happy." She said. "It's hard to explain, but I felt left out. I'm sure that my boyfriend loved me, but there was such a deep gap between us. I don't think he understood how lonely I felt, my family didn't tell me much that happened to them during the war."

"Was you're family active during the war? Then maybe I knew them." Harry said, looking a bit surprised.

"You'll understand everything when I'm finished. As I said, I was lonely. My boyfriend had a hard time, but he didn't really want to talk to me about he, he just drifted further away. I tried to talk to him about it, but he just turned his back on me. And there I stood, unsure and sad with nobody to talk to. Everyone else was too busy."

Ginny looked at Harry for a second, he didn't seem to figure it out yet.

"Inside myself, I felt so small and not meaningful at all. I knew that even when my boyfriend would over come his hard period, things wouldn't work between us. He had been gone for too long, been locked inside himself, and driven away from me by fear. Harry, I knew that after all he had gone through, I couldn't help him. Because I hadn't been there. I hadn't seen it, hadn't felt it."

"I didn't know where I was supposed to belong anymore. It wasn't that my family didn't want to help me, it was just that they didn't have the time and the energy. I knew that, so I didn't say anything about how I felt. And it wasn't only me feeling left out, I had scars from my childhood that still hurt, but nobody knew about it." Ginny said, thinking about Tom. Everything just seemed to pour out of her. All her anger, all her loneliness, all her fear. She wasn't crying yet, but she could feel the tears sting behind her eyes, but she pushed them down.

"Nobody should treat you like that, Ev. Even though people go through hard times, you don't deserve to be treated like that." Harry said, laying his arm around her. She smiled weakly up at him. He had no idea of what he was talking about. Did he even know what he did to her that year at Blue Hill's Farm?

"Then one day," She continued. "I knew what I had to do. I had to leave. Find myself. I knew I had to do this before too, but I ignored it. I tried, to the last moment, to stay by my boyfriend's side, but I finally had had enough. And when I say leave, I don't only mean to break up. I mean leaving for good, never seeing my family and boyfriend again. Hell, it hurt me to do it, but I knew that it was the only way. I was so lost; I didn't know who I was. And how could I love my boyfriend when I didn't even know myself, less loved myself? When I look back at it now, I know that I should have done it differently, but I was so desperate. I did the first thing I could think about. If I knew that it would turn out like this, I would never have dreamt of doing it."

Harry nodded, still looking at her softly and intently. Right now, he seemed to be able to forgive her for anything. Ginny wished that he had been like this three years ago.

She took a deep breath before she continued. "My family and boyfriend never died Harry. They are alive; it was me who left them willingly." She whispered. She had been looking down at the floor when she said it, and now she looked up. Harry seemed to be surprised, but not very shocked. He had probably suspected that, it wasn't very normal for a wizard family to die in a car crash after all.

"So there was no car crash? But…all this about Jamie…how much you hurt, and longed for him…is it all made up?" For the first time this evening there was a hint of hardness in his voice.

Ginny nodded sadly. "Yeah…or partly. I do miss my family, extremely much. But they are alive. And there never existed any Jamie, my boyfriend had another name, you'll know his name when you know mine. But I missed him Harry, I missed him like hell. I didn't lie when I said that I hadn't dated anyone for three years, because I loved him too much for that."

Harry sighed. "What is your name then?"

"I can't tell you that just yet, you need to know some more things first."

Harry nodded. "All right, go on then."

"As I said, I decided to leave. But not just leave and leave a letter behind saying that I needed some time alone. If I did that my boyfriend would have found me immediately. He's good at those things. Instead I did what I knew was the only thing I could do to prevent my family from looking for me." Ginny stopped here, she just couldn't say it.

"What did you do?" Harry asked softly.

"I…I…" The words just wouldn't come out.

"Come on Ev, it can't be that bad. You know that I will love you whatever it is."

Ginny looked down at his feet. "I made them believe that I had died." Her voice was so small that she wasn't sure if Harry had heard her.

He stiffened beside her. "You did what?" His voice was slightly high-pitched.

"I staged my own death. I even created a dead body that looked just like me." Ginny whispered.

"Oh God."

Ginny looked up at him, he was completely shocked. Harry cleared his throat.

"So they…they don't know that you are alive?"

"No."

"Oh my Ev…that is…I don't know…was it really that bad?"

Ginny nodded silently.

"I don't know what to say…" Harry said, shaking his head.

"You haven't heard the worst bit yet." Ginny said stiffly and rose from his embrace. It didn't feel right to sit there when she was telling him this.

"What could be worse?" Harry asked quietly.

Ginny looked right into his eyes for some seconds. They were filled with confusion and disbelief, but without doubt, mostly love and concern. She adverted her eyes from his gaze, she couldn't stand looking at him when she was about to tell him this. Ginny walked over to the window and looked out. The world still existed outside, a man was carrying an oddly shaped box, a little boy was frightening the birds and a young woman hurried down the street. She looked absently at the boy, she saw his mother call for him down the street and he ran to her. Ginny closed her eyes. _Why has things turned out like this? Can't I just turn back time? I really don't think that I will be able to tell him._

"Evelyn?" Harry said with a concerned voice behind her. She didn't turn to look at him.

"Three years ago," Ginny said shakily, still surveying the boy and his mum. They were looking at a cat sleeping in a window. "Almost exactly three years ago, I made my family believe that I was dead." Ginny squeezed her eyes shut. Her life could change with these few words that she was about to say. She felt like she was standing with one foot outside a cliff, she could hear the sea roar underneath her. It was so close now. All she needed to do was to tell him, and she would fall. Down. She inhaled, trying to think about all their good times, at Hogwarts, at Blue Hill's Farm and now. "I staged my own death on the 25th of May 1998 to be exact." She finally whispered.

There was only silence. Probably not for very long, but Ginny couldn't stand it. She whirled around, looking at Harry. His casual and confused expression startled her.

"I…see. But you already told me about that you pretended to be dead Ev…" He said.

Ginny felt an irritation build inside of her. Here she had spilled everything out, and he didn't understand! She walked up so that she was standing in front of him.

"On the 25th of May 1998 I staged my own death, Harry. The 25th of May. Does that date ring a bell?" Her voice was almost impatient.

Understanding dawned on his face. "Oh. So you mean that you did it during the Final Battle?"

"Yeah."

"So that it wouldn't look suspicious," Harry continued. "Hundreds died that day. Nobody would think about it."

"You still don't understand!" Ginny exclaimed.

"What do I not understand?"

Ginny knew that she could just simply tell him her name, but that was harder…this way would be easier, if only he would understand…

"The 25th of May, Harry. Something _very_ important happened to you that day, something that had to do with the battle, but it was more personal. It was probably the worst thing that happened to you during your life."

Now he understood what she meant. "Ginny's death." He said quietly.

"Exactly."

Then he looked confused again. "But what has Ginny's death to do with your disappearance?"

"Do I have to spell it out to you? You love Ginny, she dies and you don't date anyone for three years. And then you meet me, fall in love over one night, and I just happened to stage my own death the same day as Ginny died."

The silence that followed was hard as a stone. Ginny was standing in front of Harry, looking down at him with a sad, longing and yet hard, look. He was only staring at her, his hands gripping the sofa firmly. Inside, Ginny couldn't really believe it. She had told him, she had done it. Now there was no turning back, what was done was done. Now everything was up to Harry.

"No." Harry whispered. His eyes were big, looking at her with some mixture of sadness, disbelief and hope. "Don't play with my feelings like this, Ev. It's not fun."

"I'm not playing with your feelings Harry!" She realised, she was screaming. Now that she had come this far she was desperate for him to understand, she _wanted_ him to understand… "It's true. I'm sorry Harry, but it is true."

Harry shook his head. "No. Ginny would never do that to me." His voice was oddly cold.

A sob escaped Ginny's lips. She had sacrificed everything, and now he refused to believe her. She looked around the room, and found his wand on the table. She grabbed it and pushed it into his hand.

"You know what you have to do to prove it."

Harry looked down at the wand in his hand. "I can't believe this…you can't be. You can't be!" He looked up at her as if he was begging her to take it all back.

Ginny shook her head sadly.

"I'm sorry for what I did, Harry, but as I said, I had to." She said softly. She touched his wand arm lightly. "Just do it, Harry. You won't believe me otherwise. A simple _Finite Incantatem _is all it takes."

Harry's hand was shaking when he lifted the wand, and Ginny could actually see that he was scared.

"_Finite Incantatem,_" He whispered. Ginny closed her eyes as she felt her disguise that she had used for three years run down her body.

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Never ever in his dreams would he dare to believe that this was the truth. Harry had felt Ginny's body with his own hands; he was the one who found her dead and wounded body after the battle. Harry remembered when he had carried Ginny into the hospital tents to the other Weasleys, how Ron had been the first to greet him. He would never forget the look in Ron's eyes that night.

How many nights hadn't he cried over the image of his dead angel? He could still sometimes feel her cold skin underneath his fingers, see her beautiful and pale face. It had been the worst nightmare he could ever imagine. His world had literary fallen down, the skies had rushed down onto him, crushing him against the ground. And during all that time, all he could think of was Ginny's dead body in his hands.

But now Ginny stood in front of him once more. Alive. Her hair was longer then before and not so straight anymore. Her beautiful face was almost the same, although her cheekbones were a bit more noticeable. But apart from that, everything was the same. The same body, the same height, the same mouth, the same hands…Her eyes were still closed, but now she opened them slowly. He could see that she was nervous.

Then Harry realised that Ginny had never changed her eyes. It wasn't only Ginny's eyes that looked at him now, it was Ev's too. The chocolate brown eyes that made him feel pure, that made explosions go off inside of him. A tear was sliding down her cheek from her beautiful eyes, and without thinking, as a reflex, he stroke it away. Harry's hand stayed on her cheek, fascinated by her skin. It wasn't cold anymore. Had never been. Tears ran down his cheek as he finally dared himself to believe that his Ginny was alive. There had never been anyone else this wonderful and lively. Ev was in reality Ginny.

"Ginny." He whispered hoarsely. "Ginny."

He just couldn't stop looking at her. It was true. _True!_ Ginny was with him again. Or she had never left him, to be exact. Ev and Ginny was the same person, the same soul. It felt so funny, because in many ways they were really different.

He took a step closer to Ginny, let his hands fall onto her shoulders. She was wearing a shirt that left her shoulders bare. Standing closer, he could see small freckles scatted across her smooth skin. Harry stroke her shoulder gently, amazed by its softness. He didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything. He took a little step forward and hugged her tightly. Her small arm slowly found their way around his back. They stood there for a minute, feeling each others bodies. There was blood running through her veins, her heart was beating, her lungs filling with air by every breath she took and her brain was sending electrical signals every second. She was alive.

Then he pulled back, he needed to look at her. Her brown eyes were fixed on him, filled with insecurity and love.

"I … I can't believe it… you're the same person. And you are alive. It was only you this whole time…" He whispered.

Ginny only nodded, trying to smile a bit. Harry reached out his hand to touch her cheek once more. His gaze fell down to her lips, for so long he had longed to only kiss her once…for a second. It tingled in his lips; he wanted to feel them against hers. Harry wasn't sure if he was allowed to kiss her, maybe it was too soon, but he wanted to. Then he would believe it. So he leaned down and touched the lips that he thought he hadn't touched in three years.

Ginny tensed up as soon as his lips met hers, and so did he. He closed his eyes and felt her lips, stroke them. There was nothing special about it really, they tasted as they always had done. Like they had done three years ago and like they had done during the past month and a little more. He pulled back after some seconds, and found her eyes half-closed, her face turned upwards towards him. Hell, she was beautiful.

When she opened her eyes they were slightly confused. The whole of Harry's body was trembling when she looked at him like that. It was a dream.

"I've missed you so much…" He whispered. Somehow he made his voice work. "You have no idea…"

Ginny nodded. "Yes, I have Harry. I've missed you every day, every night. I know exactly how you feel."

How could he have mistaken her voice? It was the same voice as it always had been. Well, it was a bit deeper now, she was no teenager anymore, but still. How couldn't he have noticed?

"But then why didn't you come back then? You always had the choice, I didn't." Harry said. He had taken control over his voice now. The news about Ginny's existence had somehow been accepted inside of him.

Ginny shook her head. "I made my choice three years ago. I couldn't change that. What should I do, appear on your doorstep and say 'Hello, sorry for letting you think I'm dead, but I'm really alive. So now everything can go back as to it was before.' I knew what I had done Harry, and I knew that I couldn't have my old life back; it didn't matter how much I missed it."

Harry was confused. He didn't understand at all. Ginny said that she loved him, that she had missed him. But still she had left him and been away for three years and caused him all this pain.

"But then why did you leave in the first place?" He asked. He took a step backwards so that he could look at her. Ginny let her arms fall down to his elbows. She didn't look him in the eyes when she answered.

"I told you. You, Ron and Hermione were out fighting, I was locked up in a bloody farm. It killed me more than you understand, Harry. I knew that you could be dead without me knowing about it, or you could just sit around a fire with Ron and Hermione and have a great time. I never knew anything. You said that you didn't want me in the war because you would worry too much, and that would kill you. Well, I worried about you Harry, and that killed me." She quieted, looking up at him to see if he understood her. Harry didn't say anything, he understood what she meant. He had been an ass to her during the war, he knew that. But still, how could she leave him like this for three years?

"And even if I had stayed Harry, it would never have worked. The two of us were already falling apart before the Final Battle, and you know it. I was lonely and broken, and you were filled of all these horrible moments from the war. Don't you understand that that would have been a suicide relationship, doomed to fail. You counted on me to help you after the war Harry, I knew that, but I was so lost myself. We would only have pulled each other down. Nothing good could come out of a relationship like that."

"That's easy to say if you never tried."

"Never tried, Harry?" She retorted with a slightly angry tone in her voice. "I tried for almost a whole year, and I only felt worse and worse the more time that passed. The problem was that I wasn't there Harry, I didn't see what you saw. How should I know how to heal all your scars from the war when I didn't know what they were? One of your problems was that you thought that as long as you had me, everything was perfect. But life isn't a Hollywood-film, Harry. I couldn't make you happy, when I wasn't happy myself. I knew that. And I knew that everything had gone too far, I was out of rescue.

"But it wasn't only you. Having Tom inside my head again…it was so…I don't know, there is now word for it. But I felt dirty, Harry, filthy. The thought of his thoughts touching mine...it made me feel unworthy everything."

Harry shook his head. "But you could have talked to me about it, Ginny. You know that I would have showed you that you weren't dirty or anything of the sort."

Ginny looked up at him with a slightly sarcastic smile. "And when would I have talked to you about it? When you sneaked into my room during the nights? When you were feeling down and came to me to get some comfort? Would you even have listened to me Harry? You were so involved with other things, more important matters, where I didn't exist. I tried to talk to you, but I don't think that you were able to understand that I was lost too."

Harry shook his head. He didn't want to believe that he had been the one to drive her away, after all the pain it had caused him.

"No," He whispered. "I would have done anything to keep you by my side, you knew that. You could have asked me of anything."

Ginny continued to smile sadly. "But you never told me that, did you?"

"No, maybe I didn't, but you knew even so. We had been together for so long, you felt everything I felt. You know that I'm not good talking about such things, but you knew that I loved you. Wasn't that enough?"

"Sometimes you're really naïve Harry. You can't trust that I would understand everything. There were points where we didn't understand each other. I didn't know how much you were ready to sacrifice, and you didn't know how much I suffered from Tom."

"So…you left me, your family…your life, because you felt _lonely_?" Harry spit out the last word. He didn't want to believe it. Whatever happiness he just had felt seeing Ginny alive again had faded away almost completely. It was so ironic, he had been longing for a girl for three years, and in the end it was his fault that it had happened.

Ginny cringed at her tone. "Do you know how much pain loneliness can cause you? And as I said, it wasn't only feeling left out that made me lave. It was Tom, and what he had done to me. He made me send hundreds of people to their death." Her voice almost broke here, tears streaming freely down her face. Even though Harry hated seeing her cry, it broke him, he couldn't help that he felt annoyed. "Just because I was so bloody _weak_, because I couldn't resist him, because I couldn't stand the thought that I may have killed you; I killed all those people during the Battle. Every one of them. It was all my fault, it shouldn't have happened."

"Now you're being stupid Ginny. Voldemort would have found out even so. All those lives would have died some other time. It didn't matter if you could resist him or not." He said reasonably.

"Oh, I'm being stupid, am I? Well, maybe it would have been easier for me to realise that three years ago, if I had had you by my side."

"I was by your side."

Ginny shook her head, still with that heartbreaking, sarcastic smile on her pretty face. "Don't you remember? You had just told me that there was no way I could participate in the fight. You knew that you left me out in the cold when you said that, Harry. You knew that we were over then. I had told you that I couldn't give up my life for you anymore, but you still didn't budge. You weren't by my side then, Harry, maybe it was for my own safety, but that's not the point. The point is that you couldn't save me." Ginny's voice was so small, she sounded as if she was tired of talking.

Harry was speechless. This was more painful than anything, realising that she was right. That he had thrown away his whole life just for his own stupid nobility. It had all been unnecessary. He looked at her again, begging with his eyes that there was something else too, everything hadn't been his fault. For a moment he thought she was going to say something more. In her eyes she looked as if she was about to build up courage to confess something, her mouth was about to open. He looked at her expectedly, wanting her to release him from this torture. But then she closed her eyes, and when she opened them, her eyes looked defeated, closed. She never opened her mouth.

"But you used to be so strong, Ginny. I can't believe that you just left us because you felt lonely. You would have stayed, even though you knew it killed you because you wouldn't want to cause you family and me the pain that your loss caused us. I know you Ginny, you wouldn't do something like that." He said it more to himself than her. What had happened with the Ginny he used to know, the Ginny he had loved so dearly?

Something funny happened. For a second an expression that seemed to beg for something crossed her face. It was almost as if she was desperate for him to say something, to continue what he had began to. As if she needed it at the same time as she denied it. But then it was gone, and her sad smile was back.

"People change Harry. I'm not the saint you want to believe that I am, I never was." She was almost defiant now.

"So you think that you just can leave me because it suited you at the time, because you felt _lonely_, and then come back after three years and ask me to forgive and forget? Is that what you want? Do you think that I love you so much that I won't care about the fact that you killed me for three years?" There was an anger building up inside him now, he didn't want to accept this. He didn't even notice the hurt look on her face that his words caused.

Ginny looked down at the floor. "I needed to find myself. I had been living through you for such a long time. I didn't expect you to be happy about this, but I thought…well, we've had so many good times…don't you think it's worth trying to move on, and learn from the past?"

Harry backed away from her. _He couldn't believe this._ "First you leave me because you say that I wasn't close enough, and then you think that we should pick up where we left three years later, because _we've had so many good times_? Can't you understand how stupid that sounds?"

"Are you telling me that you don't want to be together anymore?" Her voice was like a little child, but he was too worked up to care.

"Not break up, Ginny. But I need time to take everything in. I can't just jump back to how things were before."

Her brown eyes were filled by more fear that he had ever seen in them before. And they were looking straight at him. He had caused this. Then he quickly pushed those thoughts away.

"But after all these months…and years…are you just going to let it go?"

Harry couldn't answer that. His thoughts were so untidy, so many things had been revealed tonight that he couldn't grasp them. How much was Ginny's love worth now that he knew she had left him such a selfish reason?

"Are you just going to let everything go?" Ginny said again, wanting him to respond.

Harry still didn't say anything; he just looked at her like a lost child.

"Are you? ARE YOU?!" Ginny screamed at him, grabbing his upper arms. He just stared helplessly at her.

"Harry…" She begged. "Please….answer me."

"I…don't know." He whispered finally.

Ginny sobbed, looking away. "But I _need_ to know. I need to know if I should get over you, because that's such a hard thing to do. I have done it twice, I don't know if I will be able to do it a third time."

"I need time to think, Gin. Everything has happened so quickly…I can't tell you."

Her eyes were desperate. "I don't think I will be able to go on much longer with this. Being without you or not knowing if I will have you. It's so hard." Harry didn't want to hear her, didn't want to look at her when she was like this. He preferred the screaming Ginny to the sobbing Ginny. And he had caused it all. That pain was unbearable. And there was only one way he knew how to deal with such pain. Anger.

"You say you were lost, Ginny, but I was lost too. The time when I needed you the most, you just left me… It's so hard for me to believe that you could fail me like that; it's not like you at all. We were at war Ginny. Things were not the same then, we were all confused by the things that happened. You just have to live with it, there is a reason for all these people who hate war to hate it. It's horrible, desperate and dirty. You shouldn't think that your case was something special." He hadn't meant to say the last sentence; it just slipped out of him. He felt a stone fall into his stomach when he saw her face fall from sadness to anger.

"Oh, is that so?" Ginny said with an ice cold voice. She quickly dried her face with the back of her hand. "I'm just the silly little girl that I have always been, am I? I'm so sorry that I ever disturbed you, Harry, how could I ever think that I counted as much as you? Of course I should have stayed like a loyal and patient girlfriend and sacrifice my whole life for you. Because it's not important that I'm happy, what's important is that you are happy. I'm just stupid Ginny Weasley, and you're The Boy Who Lived, of course you count more than I do."

This only angered Harry further, she only did this to make him feel bad, he knew that. And it sure worked. "Stop being so pathetic, Ginny, you know that that's not true. I only said that things could have worked out, it was the war that broke us apart, don't you understand that?"

"Of course I do!" She screamed. "If anyone of us understood what was going on, it was me! You never tried to do anything about the fact that we were slipping away, or that I was feeling like shite. I tried, but you didn't. So don't call me pathetic!"

"Yes I did, but at that time I didn't have the energy to deal with that. We were at war, Ginny!"

"So being at war means that you can simply forget about all your duties to the ones you love?" Ginny retorted.

"No, but I at least expect them to show me some respect to the fact that I had to kill the most powerful wizard alive!" Harry almost screamed. He didn't really know why they were arguing about this, they hadn't talked about this in the first place.

"I did, Harry, I did. And it took all my life to do so. Wasn't I worth some time to find myself again?" Ginny said, now with a normal voice. This was how their fights always were, one second they were screaming, and the next they both were sad and regretful. And then everything would flare up again.

"Yes, Gin. But I think that you bargained for too much. I could have given you that later, but not right then."

"But I needed it right then. It was killing me, killing me." She whispered.

"What has happened to you? Before I could never have imagined that you would do something as selfish as letting me believe you were dead. I have no idea about anything anymore." Harry said finally. He said it with an empty heart, he didn't like to say it, but it was the truth. And he was very fed up with lies right now.

"I never changed, you changed me." Ginny said quietly. "What will happen with us now then, Harry? Can't we be together again?"

Harry shook his head. "Not right now. I'm so confused, so hurt by what you have done. I'm not sure if I will be able to trust you again."

Ginny walked up to him and shook him a bit, a desperate look in her eyes. "But all of our good times? Aren't they worth anything?"

Once again, Harry couldn't really answer. Ginny was such a big part of his life; he couldn't throw her away, neither could he stay with her right now because of what she had done to him.

"Please Gin, I can't give you any answer to that now. It's too much."

"But I need to know!" Ginny was almost sobbing again. "I'm so tired of waiting and wondering, it's wearing me out. All I have ever done is to wait for you, and I'm over and done with that now. I want a clear answer to my question, Harry, or else I can't move on."

"I can't tell you. I need time." Harry was becoming irritated by her stubbornness.

"Didn't you hear me? Is it so hard, Harry? It's only a yes or a no. I really need to know." When he still didn't say anything, she screamed. "I NEED TO KNOW!!"

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The silence that followed filled the room completely. Ginny didn't dare to say anything, she feared that she had gone too far this time.

"Please Ginny," Harry said with a pained voice. "just go."

"What?" She whispered, stunned.

"Go. Just go."

Ginny stared at him. She couldn't believe it. Harry had just told her to leave him. She closed her eyes. Her life was slipping away through her fingers, she had lost it all. The sea was under her again, its waves hitting the rocks. She would fall now and she knew it. Ginny had tried so hard to make things right, but she hadn't succeeded. She could feel the air under her feet, and suddenly she longed for it; the feeling of falling without any care in the world. She opened her eyes. Harry was still staring at her, and she realised that he was scared too.

"Okay." Was all she said, her voice didn't eave quiver.

Without a second look, she grabbed her bag and walked straight out of Harry's flat, out of his life.

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**A/N:** Hehe, a bit of a cliffie, yeah?? I won't leave a sneak-peak this time, because I guess you're all furious with me even so. But before you take the first plane to Sweden and wake me up in the middle of the night thretening me with a carrot, saying that you will force me to eat it if I don't give you the password to my computer, please leave a review. I might update faster, and it saves you a lot of money and trouble.

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	16. Ch 15: Calleth You, Cometh I

**A/N:** I felt nice today, so I thought I should update two days earlier than usual. Just because I like you so much. The first chapter can now be found in a betad version at SIYE, where the whole story will be posted, but in a better version (I hope). Now read and enjoy, there is only three chapters left. Plus an epiologue, but that one isn't important.

**Chapter Fifteen: Calleth You, Cometh I**

_And I know we were both too young way back when we had our thing  
and you're not the one that I think everytime that the telephone rings.  
And I know that what we had would not be called love by the ones who know  
and I know it's been many years and hundred love affairs a go.  
I know all that so well but I also do know this:_

_Calleth you, cometh I  
and that's just how it is  
and how its always been._

_It's were my reason stops  
and something else comes in._

_I know it doesn't make sense, but still.  
Calleth you, cometh I_

_-"Calleth You, Cometh I" by the Ark_

The first sign was the music. _The Cure_. Not a good sign. The other sign was the strong aroma of coffee, and then the huge pile of dishes in the sink. Ev had never been a tidy girl, but that was just smutty. The last sign had been the empty cookie boxes on the kitchen table. Not a good sign at all. Something was very wrong with Ev.

Alex had called, texted and had even gone to Ev's work, but there was no way she could come in contact with her. So in the end she had lost her patience, and gone straight to Ev's flat. The door had been open as usual, and all Alex had to do was to walk straight in. It was unusual for Ev not to answer a call, so Alex already knew that something was up. Not just that it was this bad.

When she turned towards the bed she saw Ev sitting there, her elbows propped up on her knees with a big cup of coffee in her hands. She wore a tank top and pyjama bottoms, and her hair was clearly unwashed. Her head was rocking idly at the music, _Just like Heaven_. Alex whole heart was filled of pity and careness for this girl, who always had been so full of energy. Ev looked up at her with a surprised expression; she hadn't noticed Alex until now. Alex quickly walked over to the bed and sat down beside the girl.

"Ev, what is it?" Alex asked quietly. Now when she was closer she could see that Ev's eyes were red-rimmed and her cheeks full of un-dried tears. Ev didn't answer her question, she just looked at her hands holding the cup of coffee.

"What has happened? You were fine a couple of days before, darling." Alex said. She put her arm around the younger girl's shoulder and shook her slightly. Ev still didn't answer. Alex frowned. What the hell had happened? Of course Ev had been down before, but not like this. She seemed to be completely blocked out from the rest of the world. It reminded her of how Ev sometimes had acted when they first became friends.

Alex suddenly remembered the tragic accident that had taken place some time before she met Ev. What if something had happened to Harry? What if Ev had experienced her love being ripped away from her once again? It would be so unfair, this girl who had seen so many dark things but still managed to spread happiness around her. Alex could without doubt say that Ev was her best friend; they shared that kind of relationship that reminded her more of sisterhood than friendship. There was some kind of deep loyalty between them, Alex knew that she would sacrifice everything for her if Ev asked for it, and Ev would do the same in return.

"Ev…is there…is there something wrong…with Harry? Is he okay?" She finally asked carefully. At the sound of Harry's name Ev jumped a bit. She looked Alex into the eyes for a split of a second, and then her gaze fell down again. It wasn't much, but it was enough for Alex to see the pain and regret in her eyes. She pulled her closer.

"Has it to do with Harry?" Alex said once again. "Please, I can't stand seeing you like this, Ev."

Ev moved her lips a bit while stroking her cup of coffee with her thumb.

"I didn't really catch that."

For the first time Ev looked her straight into the eyes. And then she spoke, and she spoke with a voice of a child; of a beaten and hopeless being.

"He told me to leave."

Alex was silent for some seconds. Did she mean Harry?

"Did Harry say that?"

The cup fell onto the floor with a clunk, and the black liquid soon spread over the floor. It would cause a big spot later. Neither Ev nor Alex moved to dry it up.

Ev put her head into her hands. "He told me to _leave_." She could hear that Ev was about to cry, and apparently it wasn't the first time this day. Alex couldn't remember when Ev last had cried.

"Ev, please. Talk to me!" Alex said desperately. She grabbed Ev and pulled her up so that she could see her face. Ev looked at her again with the same look as before. It broke Alex's heart to see her best friend like this. If Harry had done this to her, then she would twist his balls until he couldn't speak his mother's name any more.

"It my fault." Ev whispered. And then she fell. Her head landed in Alex lap, where she cried like a child who just had lost its mother. She held on to Alex's waist with her small arms as if it was a lifeboat in a storming sea. Alex bent over and stroke Ev's hair, while whispering comforting words. Alex didn't know what to do, even though she had known Ev for a long time, she had never experienced her like this.

If anyone had done her best friend, her sister, any harm, they wouldn't live a happy life for so much longer. While comforting her sister, she thought about what to do. Ev wouldn't tell her, and knowing Ev, she wouldn't be able to deal with this on her own. Ev needed her friends, who were her only family, to make her feel happy again. But there was nothing Alex could do to help her, when she didn't know the cause of the problem. She would sacrifice everything for Ev, and maybe it was time to do so now. Maybe it was time to swallow her pride and ask her oldest enemy for help.

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Alex held on tight to Simon's hand as they climbed the stairs up to Hermione's flat. It hadn't been hard to find out where she lived, a little call and leaving Hermione's name, and she got the address. Alex hadn't dared to go there alone; she didn't know Hermione after all. And what if she became nasty towards Alex once again, now when Ev and Harry weren't present? But that didn't matter, all Alex cared for was Ev. Something had happened between her and Harry, they had probably even broken up. Now she needed to know why. Alex had seen enough of Harry's and Ev's relationship to know that they truly loved each other, deeply. Something very beautiful could come out of that relationship, it could last their whole lives. But now something was wrong, and she was going to do everything she could to make it right again.

"I you sure about this Ally?" Simon said quietly. "I know how much you hated you past life."

Alex smiled carefully. "Yes, we need to do this; for Evelyn." And then she pressed the doorbell.

They stood there for some moments trying to listen if something happened behind the door. Then they could hear the sound of feet approaching the door. Alex could feel her heart beat as the door opened; she had no idea what she had let herself into.

It was Ron who opened, and even though it was afternoon his hair stood upright and he looked as he had just awoken. He looked between the two of them, and Alex tried to put up a smiling face. Ron's gaze stopped on her.

"Yes?"

"Hi!" Alex said, trying to sound confident. "Ehh…we've met, if you remember. And this is Simon, my boyfriend. We…I…or well, we need to speak to Hermione."

"Oh." Ron said, sounding as sleepy as he looked. "She's here, but eh…" He trailed off, looking unsurely at the flat behind him. He bit his lip. "Wait a sec, I'll be right back."

Alex and Simon looked questionally at each other as Ron disappeared. They heard a whispering conversation, and then something that sounded like swish of air. Then Hermione's face erupted in the doorway.

"Hi." She said, smiling broadly. Alex relaxed a bit when she saw her smile, she seemed to be friendly. "How nice of you to…pop in. Ehh…just come in!"

Hermione stepped aside so that they could enter. Alex went first and tugged on Simon's hand to make him follow. Then they followed Hermione into the sitting room, where Ron was sitting. Hermione motioned for them to sit without speaking, and then sat down beside Ron. Alex looked around the room. Not surprisingly it was filled with books, but there were loads of other stuff too. Photos, pictures of athletes in orange clothes and loads of neat piles of papers everywhere. Alex realised that while she had been sitting home writing songs for a band that would never reach anywhere, Hermione had probably come far in her career. Maybe it was time for Alex to do something with her life.

"Is that Ginny?" Simon suddenly asked beside her. He was looking at a big photo of Hermione, Ron, Harry and a red-haired girl that Alex recognized slightly, that hung over the couch. They were all smiling towards the camera and Harry has his arm around Ginny's shoulders.

Ron looked surprised at Simon and then at the picture. "Yeah, it is. Did you know her?"

Simon smiled widely. "Yeah, Ginny and I were great friends a while back. I grew up in Ottery St. Catchpole just like you lot. Don't you remember me? I think we played once or twice when we were young."

Ron frowned. "Yeah, now that you mention it…Simon, wasn't it? Yeah, you and Ginny used to play all the time…"

"Yeah." Simon smiled. Alex looked at the smiling girl in the photo. She felt the same wave of recognition wash over her as the last time she saw a photo of Ginny at the party at her flat, but she couldn't for her life put a finger on why. She sighed and turned back to the other.

"I think we need to get down to business, you probably wonder why we are here."

Both Hermione and Ron nodded. "Well, the thing is that Ev's been acting so strangely the past few days, she hasn't been at work, hasn't answered the phone or anything. So I went to see her this morning, as she was completely devastated. She was just crying and crying, but she wouldn't tell me why. But I did figure out that it probably had something to do with Harry, so I thought that I should find out what had happened." Alex finished.

Ron let out a low whistle. "So that's were the problem lies."

"What do you mean?" Alex asked, looking between Hermione and Ron.

Hermione straightened herself. "We've tried to talk to Harry for days, but he won't let us in in his flat. He doesn't answer the Fl…the phone either, we had no idea what was going on. But something must have happened between them, if they are both moping. You don't know what?"

Alex shook her head. "No, that was why I came. All Ev said was "He told me to leave." and that doesn't say very much to me. But I guess that they must have broken up or something."

Ron sighed. "So typical Harry. He finds the perfect girl, and then he breaks it of with her for some stupid reason."

"Don't judge him so harsh." Hermione said defensively. "Harry wouldn't break it of with her if he didn't have a good reason for it. Something must have happened that made them break up."

"But what? They were fine last time I saw them together." Alex sighed. It had gone better than expected to talk to Hermione and Ron. She silently wished that she hadn't been so unkind to Hermione when she was young; she seemed to be the friend Alex had needed back then.

Hermione shook her head. "I don't know." She said quietly.

"Why did they do things so complicated for each other?" Ron said irritated. "I've known Harry long enough to see that Ev was the perfect girl for him."

"Yeah." Alex said. "I was so happy that Ev had finally found someone to share her life with."

"It's not so funny that Harry fell for her." Simon said. "I knew Ginny and I know Ev, and they are quite much the same actually, even though you don't think so at first. I think it's because both of them are so stubborn and not only want to help, but need to help. Even if I didn't want to talk when I was sad as a child, Ginny would force me too because she couldn't stand the thought of me being sad. And Ev is just the same."

Hermione nodded slowly. "You're probably right. When Harry was moping around and everyone felt bad because he was down, Ginny was the only one who was brave enough to corner him. They shouted at each other a bit of course, but in the end Ginny made him loosen up and he began to talk. She realised that Harry wasn't the type that got over something by his own, because she worked just the same. Ginny always came and shouted a bit at me when she was irritated with Harry, and then she felt better."

"There too, Ev and Ginny are the same. That's why I wonder if there is something we can to for Ev and Harry. We know how they are and they won't be able to do things right on their own." Alex said.

"Yeah, but the problem is how." Hermione said and looked at her. "Both of them seem to be very unwilling to talk."

"Harry will come around, I'm sure of it." Ron said.

"Yeah, but what if it takes him three years like last time?" Hermione asked.

"What else could we do?"

Just then, the doorbell went of again.

"Who is that? We're not expecting anyone." Hermione frowned and stood up. She smiled slightly at Alex as she moved passed her into the hall. They heard her open the door, and then a mumbled conversation. After a minute Hermione re-entered the sitting room followed by a man with tired eyes and old clothes. His grey eyes looked right into Alex, and she felt a cold shiver down her neck. It felt as if this man could see right trough her.

"This is Remus Lupin, Harry's godfather." Hermione said and motioned towards him. "And these are friends of Ev's, Alex and Simon. Simon actually knew Ginny when she was younger."

Remus raised his eyebrows at this, and then shook both Alex's and Simon's hands. Then he sat down on a chair, facing both Hermione and Ron, and Alex and Simon.

"I just came from Harry's." Remus began. "and he is not in a very good state. I've understood from Hermione that you're worried about Ev, because she's down and you don't know what to do."

Alex nodded.

"I don't know if there is much we can do, actually." Remus continued. "During the ball I talked some to Ev, and already then she was scared that her and Harry's relationship would break, although they were perfectly fine right then. I didn't really understand what it was, but I understood as much as that Ev had done something in her past life that affected Harry. I don't know what, but she said that what she had done had driven Ginny away from Harry. She kind of knew Ginny or something. I can't see how she feels responsible for that, because the one who is responsible for that is of course Ginny's murderer, who we still don't know who it is."

Alex was a bit shocked at this. She had only known Ev for three years, Alex had no idea what she had done before that. Had she really known Ginny?

"But how?" Ron asked. "I have never noticed anyone like Ev among Ginny's friends, and I think I would have."

Hermione was frowning, a face that Alex remembered from her school time. Hermione was using all those brilliant brain cells of hers, trying to find an answer. And she looked as if she had realised something the others hadn't. But she didn't say anything.

"Is there nothing we can do for them then?" Simon asked quietly. Everyone looked at Remus, as he was the oldest present it was natural for him to answer.

"I didn't get very much out of Harry when I talked to him. He was just mumbling about how she had let him down and turned her back towards him when he had needed her the most. The funny thing is that he sounded as if he was accusing Ginny too, which I don't understand." Remus said. "I think that we shall give them some time to think things over. Then try to cheer them up a bit and make them talk about what happened. If they open up to talk, they may realise that they have lost something very precious."

"So…" Alex said. "for the time being we shouldn't do anything?"

Remus nodded. "Yes, I think that is best. For the time being."

Hermione nodded too. "I don't think that we could do anything even if we had tried. Harry can be so bloody stubborn at times." She said with empathy. Apparently this wasn't the first time Harry had refused to talk.

Alex was a bit surprised to hear her old classmate take so foul words in her mouth. When she was younger, she had been the first one to introduce that kind of vocabulary to her friends. The others had quickly followed, while Hermione had told them every time they said anything to mind their language. They had only been children back then, and Alex had been having a bad time. None of her classmates had known that her main reason for staying out late at nights was that she was scared to go home. Except from Hermione, of course. She had known, but never even once had Hermione used that against her when Alex had bullied her.

Alex realised that she had been looking at Hermione, and now their eyes met. Hermione seemed to understand what she was thinking about. There was no hate in her eyes anymore, no disgust. They were only sad and regretting. She understood that Hermione regretted the hate she had felt, and that she at the same time regretted that both their childhoods had become so tragic.

"Maybe we should go now." Alex said finally. "You probably have work to do."

"Don't worry about that, there are more important things in life than work." Hermione said, but she stood up. "I'll follow you to the door."

Alex took Simon's hand and they followed Hermione, bidding good bye to Ron and Remus. Hermione opened the door, and then they stood silently all three.

"We should take that coffee sometime, you know." Alex said finally. Hermione smiled.

"Yeah. How about the day after tomorrow, I'm free all day." She said.

Alex smiled in return. "Sounds good."

Then she and Simon said good bye and left the flat. It felt good to have things cleared up with Hermione again, maybe Hermione was what Alex needed to reclaim her childhood.

-----------------------------------------------

Hermione closed the door quietly behind them. It had been odd having Alex sitting in her flat. This was her home, she had made it herself and then suddenly Alex came and bustled right into it. It wasn't a bad feeling, really, just different. Hermione had already buried her pride, she didn't want to fight with Alex again. She just wanted peace, and so did Alex. They had both lived an unhappy childhood, Alex perhaps a bit more than her, and she wished of her whole heart that it hadn't been so. But now they had a reason to make things right again, and move on. Maybe even together.

She sighed and lifted the shielding charm that she had placed over the flat when Ron told her who had come to visit. Ron wasn't very fond of Alex, she could tell, but he tried not to show. It was understandable, Ron had always been protective over her, especially after Ginny's death, and she didn't want him to be any other way. Thinking of Ginny, she wondered if she should tell Remus and Ron about how she knew that Ev was a witch. It was the logical thing to do, but even though Hermione was one of the most logical persons in the world, she decided not to. She had this feeling that Harry and Ev needed to make the first step before they could interfere. They were both so vulnerable right now.

------------------------------------------

Sometimes in life, you need to do choices that you don't want to do. Sometimes it turns out right, sometimes it turns out wrong. Right now, Harry didn't know if it had turned out either right or wrong.

Right now, it felt wrong. He was at some VIP after party, he didn't really remember what they were celebrating. Something about some wizard who died this day, but Harry couldn't care less. It was more than a month since Ginny had run out of his flat, and Harry didn't feel one bit less confused now than he did then. It had been a month of sadness, tears and realisations. Ginny had been his angel, his saviour. In his mind, she had been the perfect girl. She had been situated higher than everybody else, like a precious treasure that he had hidden inside himself. He had thought that Ginny had been too pure to be contacted by the darkness, she had been the only thing that made him believe that perfection actually existed. Now he didn't believe in anything anymore.

It had been proved to him that not even his perfect Ginny had been perfect. She had left him and her family, completely for her own purpose. Selfishness existed inside of her too; she was no more pure than he was. And this had been a hard blow for him, to accept that. Harry didn't know if he had or not. There were times when he wanted nothing but to see her face again, hell, he had even found himself outside her flat several nights, but he had never dared to talk to her. And then there been times when all he wanted to do was completely forget about her and blame her for everything. That was a hell of a lot easier, so mostly he found himself at parties like this trying to find a girl to replace Ginny with.

It hadn't been easy, well, it wasn't easy; he still hadn't found anyone that made him feel the way Ginny and Ev had done (he still had problems thinking about them as two different persons). He had actually dated a girl a couple of weeks, Jenna. She had been really nice and she made him feel comfortable. Jenna hadn't been a fiery beauty like Ginny, but not bad either. She had just looked so plain with her grey eyes and beautiful blonde hair. It almost bored Harry to look at her. The reason for choosing her out of all the girls who had been ready to throw themselves at his feet after his break-up with Ev/Ginny had been known, was that she would calm him down with a simple smile. When Harry had been about to start a fight with someone, she had just taken his hand in her cool ones and smiled at him, and then all his anger would have ran off him. If it had been Ginny, she would probably begin to scream at him herself and only increase his anger. This was what he told himself when he was angry at Ginny. And then when he was missing her too death, he told himself that they probably would have had amazing make-up sex after wards.

But in the end, all this calmness had bored Harry to death. He needed something to happen, some movement in life, and some colours and sounds. Jenna had been nice, and he really liked her, but she simply wasn't his type of girl. Even their break-up was calm.

Now he found himself at a party once more trying to prove to himself that he didn't miss her. But he couldn't help but to compare every girl he saw with Ginny.

"Harry, m'boy, is that really you?" Harry groaned inwardly as he heard the too familiar voice. He turned around and saw Slughorn approach him.

"Long time no see, eh?" Slughorn said as he eagerly shook his hand. "But of course, you've been occupied with all your ladies, haven't you?"

Harry smiled forcedly. "It's nice too see you." He muttered, although he really didn't think so.

"First the brown haired one, Evelyn right?" Slughorn, not caring at all that Harry wasn't listening. "She was my favourite, she looked really nice and still she wasn't the type to play with. And then you find yourself another girl only two weeks after breaking up with the other one! I must say I was a bit surprised over your choice, Harry. Ginny was that typical fire spirit that you are too, and so was the brown haired one. But the latest one…I don't know, it's good that you left her, really."

Harry didn't know if he should ignore him or be angry at him. But he really didn't like when Slughorn talked about his personal life like this. It wasn't something you discussed at a party like you did with Quidditch!

"So, are you here looking for some new material, ehh?" Slughorn said. "I can help you - there is a really fine one over there. You see the one with -"

By now Harry had had enough. He said something about work tomorrow and turned his back towards Slughorn. He looked for an escape and spotted a toilet sign. Harry walked in and closed the door behind him. He looked at himself in the mirror for a few seconds; it was funny that he didn't look older. He certainly felt older.

Harry jumped when his cell phone rang in his pocket. He took up it from his pocket and looked at the display. And then his heart froze. Harry stared blankly at the phone, not believing his eyes.

Ginny was calling him.

-----------------------------------

Ginny shivered in the cold. Even though it was almost July, the nights were still really cold. At least too cold to walk around in a tank top and mini skirt. Or maybe it was just the British summer weather, Ginny couldn't care less. There was an arm around her waist, pressing her against another body, but it didn't warm her at all. Actually, she only felt colder because his hands weren't Harry's.

She closed her eyes for a second, trying to forget about him. He didn't want her, they were over. And that was that. Ginny had spent enough time in her flat, crying her heart over him. Ginny would never shed a single tear for Harry Potter again in her life. It wasn't until she had seen a picture of him hugging another woman that she had decided to forget about him. That had been too much, seeing him in love with somebody else had broken her. And she was so bloody fucking tired at being broken. She didn't want that life anymore.

Alex had tried for several days to persuade Ginny to go out and meet some friends, but she had always rejected. Now, she couldn't keep herself away from the clubs. The music, the alcohol, the dancing, the sweaty bodies; it had become her therapy. This night she found herself following another man home, just like every other night. This one was brown-haired and was called John, she could remember. She didn't care really; a little bit of shared warmth was all she wanted.

They reached his place, and things went as they always did. He fell asleep quickly, with his arm thrown over her stomach. Ginny didn't feel any warmth this time though, all she could think was that this wasn't Harry. She did so almost all the time, compared everyone to Harry. She tried not to, but when the night had almost turned into morning Ginny was too tired to lie to herself anymore. She missed him. And she had no idea what to do without him.

The emptiness was filling her, and with that the restlessness came. Ginny couldn't stay here, in the wrong bed with the wrong man. She rose carefully and quickly dressed. She found her handbag on a couch and opened it to apparate home. But there was no wand. She checked again, but it simply wasn't there. She had probably forgotten it at home. Ginny sighed and decided that she would have to walk instead, luckily she knew the way.

The night was clear and rather cold. Ginny could see the first rays of the sun from the east. She loved the nights and the early mornings. Her problems seemed to just disappear into the night when the air filled her lungs. It wasn't so bad that she had forgotten her wand after all.

Ginny had been so filled with the night, that she was caught completely unguarded. She was pushed up against a hard, cold brick wall and a shadow figure towered above her. For a second she was scared, but then it disappeared and she felt stupid for walking around alone in the streets at night.

"Gimme your money. And mobile, fast." The figure grunted.

"I don't have any." She said uncertainly.

"Give them to me!" He almost screamed. Ginny could tell that he was just as nervous as she was. Taking a chance, she loosened her leg from underneath his and kicked him right between the legs. The man groaned and almost fell to the ground. Ginny tried to get away as quickly as possible, but her foot was stuck underneath his leg. Without realising what happened, the man suddenly stood up straight again, and she felt a cold stab in her abdomen, and then another one. Ginny barely noticed that the man ran away as she fell towards the ground. She fell hard and lay still for several seconds before she did anything. Then she looked down as she felt something cold spread over her stomach.

Ginny was shocked to see blood spread all over her lower stomach. The man had stabbed her with a knife, that bastard! Her breathing increased as she began to feel the pain. Without knowing what to do, she just lay there for almost a minute. There was no one around, so she couldn't scream for help. Finally she tried to stand up. She pressed one hand against her abdomen, and one against the ground. But her back had barley left the ground before she fell back once more. The panic began to increase. What the hell was she to do?

Ginny tried desperately to call for help, but when no one noticed for several minutes she gave up. She cursed herself for forgetting her wand as she tried to think what to do. It was then that she remembered that she had her mobile with her. She looked around and spotted her bag maybe a meter away. Dragging herself across the ground, she reached her bag. After a bit of fumbling she finally found her phone, but then the next problem occurred. Who should she call? Those bloody muggle ambulances? No, Ginny didn't trust that they would get her help fast enough, certainly not after what had happened to Alex's brother. She didn't know very much about wounds and such, but there was so much blood…what if she bled to death? Ginny wanted a hospital fast, and the only way was to call someone who could apparate. And there was only one phone number to a wizard in her mobile. Harry.

If the situation had been different, Ginny would certainly consider what she was about to do. But in her panicked state she almost forgot that she and Harry had had a row and was no longer together. Before really realising what she was doing, she had found his number and pressed the green button. With a moments hesitation she lifted it towards her ear.

Several signals passed, Ginny could almost feel the hesitation inside Harry when he saw who was calling. She had just been about to give up when she heard the familiar sound of the phone being picked up.

"Hello." His voice was quiet and uncertain, as if he had no idea what he was doing. There was noise in the background from the distant music. For a second she cursed him for partying without her, then she realised that she had done the same over the past month.

"Harry…" She breathed. Tears began to fall down her face, a mixture of panic and relief. "He stabbed me, Harry, the bloody bastard stabbed me." She knew that made no sense, but she didn't care.

"What? Who?" Now Harry woke up. It must have shocked him a bit, because he didn't seem to be angry with her.

"A man. He wanted my money, and I kicked him in the crotch. And then he stabbed his bloody knife into my stomach…" Ginny stopped to breath. She knew that he could hear her sob, but she didn't care. "And I forgot my wand at home…I'm on St. Jacob street…"

"Oh shit." Harry said. Then his voice disappeared. Ginny took the phone from her ear and looked at the display; she had run out of battery…

Her head fell back against the ground. What to do now? She had sacrificed her whole pride when she called Harry, and her pride had been the only thing she had had left. Ginny just laid still, exhausted from the blood dripping out of her wounds. She didn't have any energy left to think, her mind was slowly slipping away…

Then she heard the most beautiful sound she had ever heard in her life; a pop. Ginny turned her head and saw a shadow tower in the end of the street in the streetlight. The man was looking directly at her and she could make out his familiar bodylines. In that moment, Ginny knew that everything would be alright. He had come.

Then she passed out.

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**A/N:** Hehe, the drama didn't end in the last chapter, did it? I know that everything is quite messy right now with many things happening, but the next chapters will be more calm. I won't give you a sneak-peak this time either, because I can't find something suitable to give you. You'll just have to wait. Hehe, I know I'm evil. That cliffie is just deadly. But that's just another reason for you to review, right?


	17. Ch 16: This Time the World Maybe

**A/N:** I know, I know, I've been a bad girl because I haven't update for so long. I'm sorry about that, but I've been to Paris, and then when I came home therewas so much to do. I barely sat still one moment. Or it felt like it. Good news is that I have written the whole story now, so the updates should wait for so long any more. Hope you enjoy this chapter too. And thanks to everyone who has left a review, although i haven't answered everyone.

**Chapter Sixteen: This Time the World Maybe Understands Us**

_We __were going to steal everything_

_And throw it away again_

_Now there is nothing worth to steal,_

_But you – you put the autumn sun on fire_

_I wanna see those skies again,_

_I want to try again_

_This time_

_This time the world maybe understands us._

_- "Rockenroll, Blåa Ögon – Igen" by Håkan Hellström_

For the third time in his life Harry saw his angel lying unconscious before him. The first time he hadn't known that she would become the most important person in his life. The second time, her hair had been red and he had thought that she had been dead. This time, she was brown-haired and Harry had seen her fix her gaze on him for a second, before her eyes were closed. Once Harry had understood what had happened, he hadn't hesitated to apparate there for one second. Some things would just be the same forever, despite what had happened. Ginny may have lied to him, but she was still Ginny. And Harry would never stop coming to her when she needed him.

He quickly walked up to her. Her hair spilled over the pavement, and her face was pale. But still, she was the most beautiful creature on earth. How he had missed just looking at her.

He fell to his knees and checked her pulse. Harry felt relief as he found it. He quickly threw of his shirt and tightly held it over the wound, hoping that it would ease the blood fled at least a little bit. Harry then lifted her little body in his arms; she weighed less that he remembered. Ginny must have lost weight since he met her the last time.

Harry thought first that he would apparate to St. Mungos, but then he realised that their checks would reveal that she used glamour spells. He didn't know many muggle hospitals, but he could remember passing a few sometimes. He concentrated hard on the one he could remember the clearest, and then he found himself in a hospital hall moments later.

The hall was full of movement and people. Harry stood in the middle of everything for some time, wondering what to do. Then a nurse came up to him and asked what was wrong. Once she noticed the blood on Ginny's abdomen, her face fell from a pleasant and professional mask, to a serious look. She reached for something in her pocked and began to speak in it.

"I have a serious case her. Young girl, eighteen to twenty. She has two big cuts in her lower stomach, she's unconscious. Seems to have lost a lot of blood." The nurse looked around, and then called to another nurse to get a bed. "Do you know how she got these?" She asked Harry.

"No…yes, she was stabbed with a knife." Harry stuttered. The nurse nodded.

Two men in white coats came out from a room, probably as an answer to the nurse's call. They quickly moved Ginny to the bed, and then began to push the bed to a room.

"We need oxygen!" One of the doctors called.

Harry tried to follow Ginny, but the nurse stopped him. "You have to wait out here, otherwise you will disturb the doctors." She said.

"But- " Harry said desperately, not knowing what to do.

"I'm sorry, but that's the way it is." Then she left him to stare worryingly at Ginny, on whom they just had placed an oxygen mask. They drove her bed into another room, and then Harry couldn't see what was happening.

-----------------------------------------

It wasn't so much time that had passed, but it felt like ages. Harry was sitting in the waiting hall, thinking about what had happened. He wasn't sure what to think anymore, seeing and feeling Ginny again had been such a shock. Harry knew that he wanted Ginny; he had wanted her since he was sixteen. But at the same time she had made a hell out of three years of his life. Sure, he knew that he was partly guilty for that, but still… Harry had been sure that once the war was over, things would have worked out better between them. It was just like before, wasn't it? After his first break-up with Ginny, he wanted her back at the same time as he wanted to protect her. It ended with Ginny staging her own death. Three years later, he fell in love with Ev. Then too, he was scared of both being with her and being without her. That time it ended with him telling her to leave, because she appeared to have a little less than perfect spot on her. And now, he still wanted Ginny just as much as he was scared of giving himself to her again. It always seemed to end with the two of them alone, away from each other. Was he ready to sacrifice that? Harry didn't know at all.

"Excuse me sir, but you were the man who brought Miss Flynn here, right?" A cool voice said. Harry looked up and found the nurse in front of him, with a journal in her hands.

He nodded. The nurse sat down beside him.

"Good." She said. "I need you to answer some questions about yourself and the girl, because the girl has obviously been subjected to a crime, right? It's just for the record."

Harry nodded again.

"Good." The nurse said, once again. She began to ask him about his name, where he lived, etc.

"How long have you known her?"

"Since I was twelve, and now I'm twenty-one."

The nurse nodded. "Then you should know if she was ever a victim of a crime before today other than that awful rape three years ago?"

She said it in such a casual voice that Harry already had opened his voice to say "no", before he realised what the nurse had actually said.

"N- What?" He said, completely shocked.

"You don't know of any other time besides today and the rape three years ago?" The nurse said in the same cool voice.

Rape? What was this? Had his Ginny, his life saver, been raped? Harry looked past the nurse, out of one of the windows. This couldn't be true…could it? He thought about Ginny, the way she had been when he met her like Ev. Had that lively, wonderful creature, who spread so much happiness everywhere she went, been touched by something as black as rape? Ginny must have been so hurt afterwards…was that why she left him? It hurt Harry to think that it was so; he would have helped her. Caressed her, dried her tears, loved her…she hadn't thought that he wouldn't have wanted her, did she?

"Mr. Potter?" The nurse cool voice found itself into his mind. "Didn't you know?"

Harry shook his head slowly.

"Oh. I'm sorry. Miss Flynn came to another hospital here in London on, the 26th of May, 1998, suffering from great pains in her lower abdomen. It says in her journal that she had been raped, but that she refused to tell the hospital staff who it was. The doctor wrote that he 'suspected that Miss Flynn knew the perpetrator'."

Harry just sat absolutely still. Ginny had been raped the night of the Final Battle, the same day as she had left. By who? Why hadn't she told him?

"I'm sorry, Mr. Potter, I understand that this must be hard to take. I think I'm finished with the questions. Miss Flynn will be perfectly all right, she's sleeping right now. You can sit with her if you want to; she is in room number eleven." The nurse pointed at a door and then left him. Harry slowly followed her finger and entered the room.

It was a room with four beds, but only tree were occupied. He saw Ginny beside the window, and walked over to sit beside her. It broke his heart to think that she had suffered from a rape. It was so cruel and unfair. Ginny had been his life saver, he wouldn't have won over Voldemort if it wasn't for Ginny. Why her? And who?

Harry wondered how this would change things. Would he accept her more now that he knew about the rape and the true reason of her leaving? Harry knew he probably would, but it felt wrong. If he didn't accept the fact that Ginny wasn't less human than he was, then a relationship between them would never work. But was he ready to accept that and move on? The more Harry thought about it, the more convinced he became of it. He knew deep inside of him that no one else would love him like Ginny. Sure, he could find someone like Jenna who could give him love, security and a family. But nobody could give him the life that Ginny could give him, except Ginny herself. Nobody could make him feel so alive, so wanted and accepted. When he was with Ginny, he didn't feel that he wasted any time, because Harry knew that whatever he was doing he was with the person he loved the most.

Ginny slept long, for several hours. It was almost noon before she woke up. Harry realised that he had been awake for more than 24 hours now, but the lack of sleep was nothing he was concerned with right now.

When she woke, Ginny opened her brown eyes that looked the same as they always had done; before she noticed him she looked out the window for several minutes. She looked so peaceful that Harry didn't have the heart to make his presence know. Ginny was observing a bird that was eating something from a roof. She was still pale, and she looked tired, but at least she was awake. Harry liked looking at her; he had missed looking at her for several years now.

"Gin?" He whispered hoarsely, finally. Ginny quickly turned her head, a mild surprise on her face.

"Hi."

Then her expression turned to something sadder, almost sarcastic.

"This is so pathetic." Ginny said.

"What?" Harry hadn't known what to expect, but he really didn't understand what she meant.

"Is this how it's always going to be?" Ginny asked, almost heatedly. "That you just come and save the helpless little girl who never can work anything out on her own?" She turned her head and looked out of the window again.

Harry calmed down a bit when he realised that she was angrier at herself than him.

"Everyone needs saving sometimes." Harry said.

Ginny snorted. "Yeah, but some more than others." She said, referring to herself. "First the Chamber, and now this. I'm so tired of needing help all the time."

Harry sighed. "Ginny," he said, leaning over her. He could see that she jumped a bit; she was probably unprepared to hear her old name. "just stop it. You know that you saved me countless of times from falling down into apathy or just giving up; so we're even. You know that you helped me more than anybody else to kill Voldemort, and I'm fucking grateful for that so why can't you be?"

She glared up at him from the bed. "You didn't sound very grateful the last time we met." Ginny said sullenly.

Harry looked away for a second, ashamed. "Well, I was very confused then. But that's not the point; the point is that we're even. And friendship is all about saving each other."

"Yeah, and we've been such good friends, Harry."

"You're changing the subject again." He said, almost irritated. But he didn't wish to start a fight with her now. "Ginny," he sighed. "I'll save you a million times if you ask me to; to make it up to you. I know that I owe you, because I know that there was a time when I didn't save you when I should have." So now he had said it. Harry had no idea how to bring this up with her, but now it just fell out of his mouth.

Ginny's expression turned from sarcastic to confused to vigilant. "What do you mean?" She asked sharply.

"I was hoping that you would tell me that." Harry said softly.

Even though she was lying down, Harry could see how her whole body fell against the bed. It was as if she had tried to convince to herself that she didn't need help from anything, not even a bed, but now she just couldn't take it anymore. Ginny's eyes slipped away from his and one of her small hands reached up to cover he mouth, as if it could stop the tears from coming. But they didn't come, actually.

"How did you find out?" She asked finally. Her voice sounded very small, and very lost. Harry almost cringed at it; he didn't like hearing and seeing Ginny like this. He wanted to see the proud woman who was ready to conquer the world. The one who was so stubborn and never gave up, if it meant something to her. But in a relationship you get both parts, he realised.

"A nurse told me. She thought I already knew, I suppose, seeing as I said that I had known you since I was twelve."

"Oh." Was all Ginny said.

Harry wanted her to tell him what had happened, but she just stayed silent, looking at the bird again. He could sense that her thoughts were somewhere else.

"Ginny?" He asked tenderly. She looked up at him. "Who did it?"

"Malfoy," Ginny said simply.

Of all the names he had thought could come out from her mouth, this was the one that gave him the most rage of all.

"Malfoy?!" He hissed, standing up so fast that he knocked over the chair. "Malfoy? I'll kill the fucking bastard! Why didn't you tell me sooner? I would have taken his things so that he could never rape anyone again!"

Not only had he helped to get Dumbledore killed, he also raped Ginny. He didn't even deserved to look at her, and he had raped her! Hatred flooded through Harry's veins like a drug, and he swore to himself that if it was the last thing he did, he would take vengeance on Malfoy, the little stinking, stupid and evil ferret…

Harry hadn't realised that he had turned towards the door, probably to go seek Malfoy and teach him what happens when you fucked with Harry Potter's girl, when Ginny's voice broke through his wall of hatred.

"Where on earth do you think you are going Harry?" She asked, sounding very much like her mother.

"I'm going to kill Malfoy! Never again will he -"

"No you're not." Ginny interrupted him sensibly and very definite.

Harry turned around and looked at her. The broken look had changed in a fierce one, and Harry knew that he was dead if he challenged it. As he went back and picked up his chair, he realised that he didn't even want to.

"He's not worth it. He's destroyed so much in our lives; I'm not giving him a decent reason to throw you into Azkaban." Ginny said heatedly. "And to be honest, I think he's gotten his punishment. I don't think that it's fun to live his life; buying all his friends and being nasty towards everybody."

"Ok, ok, I won't." Harry said, giving in.

"Good."

Then the silence fell over them once again.

"Was that why you left me?" Harry said, asking the question that he been burning inside him since the nurse told him.

Ginny looked sadly at him.

"Partly. But don't think that you can blame everything on Malfoy. You treated me like shite, but I loved you even so. And after…after what Malfoy did, I just couldn't take it anymore. I was so tired. Maybe I wouldn't have left if it wasn't for Malfoy, but I don't think that we would have been happily ever after if I had stayed."

Harry nodded silently, that was answer enough for him. He was happy that they were able to talk to each other without screaming. But there was some kind of hesitation between them, Harry realised that both of them wondered what would happen now, and what they wanted.

"So what happens now then?" Ginny said, asking the question he hadn't dared to ask. She was looking at him softly, and Harry was once again struck by how beautiful she looked. Would she ever look at him again as she had done back in his sixth years, seconds before their first kiss? She had never been more beautiful than then.

"I don't know. I really don't know." Harry said softly.

"Well, last time I met you, you didn't seem to be very keen on continuing anything that involved me." Ginny said accusingly. It had really hurt her; he realised, and felt instantly bad for it. Ginny had told him everything, well almost everything, and he had just turned his back.

"I'm sorry for that." He said sincerely. "I really didn't mean to be so harsh, I was just so confused. I know that there is no excuse for what I did…but I was so confused. And I guessed that it was hard for me to accept that it was me who had caused all those horrible years."

Ginny just nodded, he didn't know if she had forgiven him or not.

"I've been thinking quite a bit while you've been sleeping. And even though I'm not sure, I know that I have missed you like hell Ginny. I know that you're the only one I really want, the only one who can really make me happy."

"What about the blond one then? Does she really approve of you sitting here expressing your love to your ex girlfriend?"

"Jenna?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, whatever her name was."

Harry smiled a bit. "You haven't been following the news properly, Ginny, we broke up two weeks ago."

"Oh. Why?"

"She bored me." Harry said, shrugging his shoulders. He didn't want to talk about Jenna now. "But as I said, I have been thinking. And even though I'm not sure about where we stand, I don't want to loose you, I really don't."

Ginny sighed and looked at him softly. "Do you realise how much we need to work out? There are so many old memories and problems that we need to talk through, if this should ever work."

"You sound as if you don't even want to try." Harry said accusingly.

"Well, I'm not sure if I do." Ginny said quietly. "You told me to leave, and when I did it I promised myself to move on. We've been through this so many times Harry, and in the end we just end up without each other."

"Yeah, and every time we end up together again." Harry said.

Ginny sighed, "Yeah."

The silence fell once again, as they were both lost in their thoughts. Harry knew that they were both thinking about the same thing; to be or not to be together. Or maybe to risk it or not to risk it. It had always been like that. Harry knew that it was the uncertainty that was slowly killing them; he hated not knowing where he stood with Ginny.

"Are you still angry with me?" It was Ginny who broke the silence, it almost always was. She was the impatient one of the two of them.

"I dunno." Harry said. "I'm not happy about it, but I can live with it. I guess the hardest part in this is that I was the one who caused it, and it's kind of hard for me to take. And you weren't as angelic as I wanted to believe, but I can live with that too. Are you still angry with me?"

Ginny chuckled softly. "A bit, but nothing I can't live with."

"Good."

"So you want to try again then?" Ginny asked uncertainly.

Harry nodded. "I think so. I'm not surer than you are, but you are the only thing in life that I know I really want. All these years I've been holding on to you, and when I've lose you I don't know what to do."

"So you think that it would work then? What if we've already destroyed everything we had by being without each other? What if we only row all the time and find out that we don't have anything left? It would hurt me so much, if I gave everything and then lost it."

Harry nodded. "That's true. And there is always a chance that we will part, but hasn't that risk always been there? That was why I broke up with you in my sixth year, but I couldn't stay away from you Ginny, I couldn't. And then you left me, but you came back even so. Doesn't that mean anything?"

Ginny smiled warily. "Yeah, I guess it does."

"You're the bravest person I know, Gin. If one part of you wants it, I know that you are ready to risk everything else. Can't you do so this time too?"

Ginny took his hand. "I want to Harry. But I'm so scared of getting hurt, and at the same time I don't know if I will be able to live apart from you. I have done so for three years, but that was different. I needed to find myself, and I've done that now. I know what I can do"

"But I'm still not sure about us, which is the one thing I've never worked out. I don't know if this is "meant to be" or if something like a perfect couple even exists. What if there is someone else out there?"

"Does it feel like there is?" Harry asked quietly.

Ginny looked him into the eyes. "No. I didn't date anyone for three years, remember?"

"Then don't you think it's worth a try? Isn't that fair to ourselves? I want to know that it doesn't work before I give up, Gin." Harry said.

"Yeah," Ginny nodded. "I think I want that too…but it will be so hard, with everything else to worry about…I just wish that the rest of the world would disappear…"

"Forget about the world Ginny." Harry said, stroking her hand. "We can go away somewhere where nobody else exists but us, and start from the very beginning, and do everything right. How does that sound?"

Ginny squeezed his hand slightly, and smiled for the first time happily at him.

"That sounds good." She said gently. "That sounds really good."

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A/N: Only chapter 17 and 18 left now. And a epiologue that I haven't written yet. Now give me a review!!


	18. Ch 17: No End

**A/N:** Okay folk, here is the next chapter, but I'm going away to England on Sunday, so I probably won't be able to answer your reviews in some time. But that doesn't mean that I don't want you to. It would be lovely to have a big bunch of reviews waiting for me when I come home. After this chapter, there is only one left! I can't believe that I'm actually seeing an end to this fic. I started it over a year ago. But don't worry, there is another one of the way.

And thanks to carolyn, my loyal beta.

**Chapter Seventeen: There is No End**

_Don't scratch your arm, it'll only get worse  
And don't even think, don't open your purse  
I can pay for you  
That's the least I can do  
You can pay me back in kisses when the month is through  
I wont lie to you_

_There is no end to love like ours  
There is no end to a love like ours  
There is no end to love like ours_

_-"No End" by the Ark_

The early rays of sunlight were like a poke in the eyes, so Ginny quickly closed them again. She wanted the sleep to grab her once again so that she didn't need to accept the fact that it was morning and she was supposed to leave this wonderful, soft bed. It wasn't until she had buried her head in the pillow and felt Harry's scent on it that she remembered where she was and who she was with.

Ginny forced her eyes open and looked around. Harry was already awake. He always woke before her. While she loved sleeping, Harry didn't. She supposed it was because of all of those nightmares that had hunted him in the past. He was standing by the window, only wearing boxers, and his expression was just as peaceful as the sea before him.

When Harry had said that they would go somewhere where nobody else existed, he had literally meant it. He had found this cute little cottage which was alone on the island. They had waited two weeks after their reunion before they came here, so that Ginny's wounds would heal. During that time, none of them had talked very much with each other or with their friends. They had both needed the time to adjust themselves to the decision they had made and prepare for the change. Harry had simply left a note on his kitchen table for the Weasleys, saying that he would be away for some time but would return in time for Hermione and Ron's daughter's birthday.

Ginny continued to watch Harry's back. The morning sun made it look as if he had a halo over his head. Ginny smiled, and thought that Harry in many ways was a real angel. His pure determination to save others, his helpfulness, the fact that he would sacrifice anything for the ones he loved without thinking, and that he valued the truth more than anything else. The latest had of course caused some problems, but both Harry and Ginny had accepted each others actions three years ago, and moved beyond it. Only after a few days here on the island, they had agreed to move on with their relationship because they thought it was too beautiful to just throw away. Of course they had problems, but problems could be solved. Now they had been here for two weeks, and Ginny felt that they were just as close as they had been before she revealed her true identity and before she left the wizarding world. Just look at him now, had Harry ever seemed so at ease and happy as he was now? Ginny certainly couldn't recall it. And she felt better than she had in years.

"Good morning angel." She said softly.

Harry turned around, a soft smile on his lips.

"Hey. I thought you were the angel."

He walked over to her and sat down on the bed. Without saying anything, he reached out and stroke her red hair. Ginny quietly surveyed his naked body, thinking of how beautiful he was. That warm skin that gave her so much calmness and love, those strong arms which could carry her with ease, and those green eyes with a special sparkle that only she could cause. No words were spoken between them; they had already said everything that was needed to be said. His eyes looking lovingly at her were all she needed.

"You know that it's Ginny's birthday today, right?" Harry asked.

Ginny sighed. "Yeah, I know."

She looked around the room. "I don't want to leave this. I really don't."

Harry smiled sadly. "No, not me either."

Ginny sat up and pulled him to her, hugging him. He buried his head in his hair, and she in his shoulder. Ginny was scared that the world would take him away from her; he was the most precious thing she had. And she knew that she was the most precious thing Harry had ever had.

Harry sighed and pulled back a bit. "Come on, girl. Get some clothes on, and I'll make breakfast."

Ginny snorted. "I'm tired of your sloppy done eggs, I'll do the breakfast."

She left him there and went to the little kitchen, the only other room in the cottage. Ginny hummed softly while preparing the eggs. With so many things changing in her life, it felt good to do something as usual as making breakfast, it felt so secure. Ginny was glad that she had something to hold onto, not that she didn't like the change her life had taken, but some things would never change, and it made her happy.

They ate breakfast in peace without talking. Ginny was thinking about everything they had done during the two wonderful weeks they had been here. Most days, they had spent half their time in bed, but not necessarily making love. Actually, it took more than a week before they did, because they felt that they should really start from the beginning. And it was a good beginning. They had been rowing across the sea towards the shore, taken long walks, been swimming, listening to music or just sitting on the shore on their island watching the sunset together. Ginny would never forget these weeks; this was how a summer was supposed to be.

And the best thing that had come out of these days was that Ginny now knew that this was something worth fighting for. They may row a lot in the future, but now she knew that this could exist too.

While Harry took care of the dishes, she dressed. Ginny didn't want to pick anything to extreme, she didn't want her mother to look that strangely at her again. She realised that she had lost a bit of the wish to be special; it didn't feel so important anymore. Finally, Ginny picked a light red summer dress and a red hair band. She only added a bit of eyeliner and lipstick, knowing that her mother didn't like it when people wore too much make-up.

It was with a hint of sorrow inside of her that Ginny added the normal appearance spells. She was so tired of them now. Before they had given her freedom, now they had become her prison.

When she had packed everything, she walked back into the kitchen.

"I'm ready." She said.

Harry smiled. "Good, me too."

He took his bag in one hand, and stretched out his hand towards her. "Should we go then?"

Ginny nodded.

Two seconds later, they were outside Ginny's old home. Standing outside the fence looking at the misshaped old house, memories became to appear in Ginny's mind. She and Ron, making a hut in the back garden, Bill showing her how to do a Bat Bogey Hex (something her brothers regretted later), Charlie reading tales for her, her mum dressing her in the mornings, her dad coming home from work, kissing her on the top of her head…

She quirkily wiped her eyes, and blinked a few times; she really didn't want to start to cry now.

"You okay?" Harry asked.

"I'm fine. Come on." She said, and opened the gate. She tugged on his hand to make him follow. Ginny walked quickly, she wanted to see her family in her old home again, and she was really looking forward to seeing her niece. She could hear noises coming from the back garden, so she began to lead Harry around. He seemed to be quite surprised that she was so eager, but Ginny didn't want to wait anymore.

--------------------------------

Hermione hugged Luna, and thanked her for the oak leaves twisted into a crown that Luna had given her daughter. It was supposed to frighten away big, blue horses who robbed away little children, which Luna said were common in this area. Hermione didn't know if it was true, but it warmed her heart that Luna held such protectiveness towards Ginny. They were in the back garden at the Burrow, celebrating her daughter's first birthday. The whole Weasley clan was there along with their wives and children, Remus and Tonks and Luna and Neville. Two other guests were seated at the end of the table, looking a bit unsure; Alex and Simon.

After having a coffee together, Hermione felt that she wanted to keep the friendship that had developed between them. Not only for their own sake, but maybe they could help Harry and Ev in finding each other again. But two weeks ago, they had realised that they didn't need to help Harry and Ev, because they had disappeared on the exact same day, both saying that they needed some time away to clear their thoughts. Neither Hermione nor Alex knew what had changed the two lovers' minds to try again, but they were happy that Harry and Ev were talking again, even though they didn't know anything about their relationship.

Now that Harry and Ev seemed to be on good terms again, and Alex and Hermione had become quite good friends, Hermione had realised that it was impossible to not tell Alex and Simon the truth. Ron had been against it, but when Remus had told Hermione that he thought it was a good thing to do, Ron had given in. They had invited the two of them over to dinner, and explained everything about who Harry really was, and who Ginny had been. Simon had been mildly surprised that his old, dead playmate had been a witch, but then he had stated that "I always thought her family was a bit peculiar, after all." Because they now knew, it had felt natural to invite them here.

There was one secret that Hermione still kept for herself though; the fact the Ev was a witch. As long as Harry knew, it was alright. She didn't want to spill the secret before she knew what had happened. There was so much they didn't know; they didn't know why Harry and Ev had parted, and they didn't know where they were now, if they were together or what.

Hermione sighed and looked around. It felt funny that the godfather wasn't here on Ginny's first birthday. It was Harry after all, he had always been there. She looked at Ron, who held Ginny in his arms. Even though he was laughing at Fred and George, she could tell that he missed his best friend too. Hermione took a bite from her cake and listened half-heartedly at Luna's rambling without really knowing what she was talking about.

"But of course, they are not dangerous as long as the baby is younger that one year, they think they are too small to bother about, you see, so now when Ginny is a year I thought it was…oh look, they have finally showed up!" Hermione had no idea who she meant with "they" but she turned around. There, just outside the back of the Burrow stood Harry, hand in hand with Ev. They were both smiling, although Ev looked almost shy, something Hermione never thought she would experience her being.

"Harry!" She screamed, and dropped her cake in the excitement. She didn't bother to pick it up though. She was just so happy to see them both here, together. She ran upped and hugged them both, soon followed by Alex.

Ev looked astonished at seeing Alex there. She looked between Alex, the Burrow and Hermione with a confused expression on her face.

"What-?" She said quietly.

"Why didn't you tell me Harry was a wizard, Ev? And Hermione, and everyone!" Alex said excitedly, and Ev seemed to slowly understand. "Look Ev, Tonks over there can change her hair colour by will! Just think about it, no outgrowth to worry about! God, I wish I was a witch too!

"I know Alex." Ev smiled. "So Hermione told you, or what?"

Alex nodded. "Yeah, we're really good friends now."

Hermione smiled to herself at her words, it warmed her heart to know that their enmity was gone. She turned to Harry and whispered quietly

"So everything's fine between the two of you now?"

"Yeah, kind of." Harry said.

"So she's admitted that she is a witch?"

"Yes, and more besides that."

Hermione lifted her eyebrows at him.

"You'll know later." Harry said and turned to Ron who was approaching. Giving him a slap on the back, he took his god daughter in his arms. Ev walked up to his side and looked down at the baby, Hermione realised that she hadn't met Ginny. There was some kind of regretting and sad look in Ev's eyes as she looked at the baby, and later when everyone sat down to eat it was still present. Hermione wondered why but didn't ask anything. Harry and Ev were back together and that was all that mattered to her. They were holding hands almost all the time, and when one of them disappeared the other one seemed to become restless.

Ev chatted merrily with everyone. She and Mrs. Weasley seemed to have a good time, talking about cooking. Alex was chatting with Tonks about hair colours and music. Simon was shy as usual, but soon Lupin and Mr. Weasley had gotten him involved in a conversation about the connection between the Muggle Prime Minister and the Minister of Magic.

Although everyone was dying to know what had happened between Harry and Ev they didn't say anything, and nobody asked either. The two of them disappeared when Harry offered to give her the grand tour, and were gone for probably twenty minutes. When they returned they were both quieter than usual, and Hermione thought Ev's eyes looked a bit puffy.

Overall, it was an extraordinary birthday party, Hermione decided.

--------------------------------------------------------

"Isn't it lovely?!" Hermione's mother said, holding up probably the most awful doll Hermione had seen in her whole life. They were out shopping in the summer heat, and her mother was looking for a birthday present for her niece. Hermione longed to sit down and rest her legs at some café in the shade with an ice coffee, but her mother wouldn't give up until she found the perfect present.

"Yes, indeed." Hermione said, looking at the outdoor café at the other side of the street.

"You know what, I think I'll buy it!" Her mother said.

"Do so," Hermione said. "and I'll get us a table at the café over there. I'm melting away."

They said goodbye, and Hermione crossed the street. She entered the coffee shop and immediately ordered a large ice coffee. She sighed happily as she sat down in the shade, sipping on her drink.

Idly she watched the people who passed. So many people who deliberately went shopping in this heat; her mother had practically dragged her out of her cool flat. A little girl began crying as she dropped her ice cream, and refused to go another step until her mother bought her a new one. This resulted in a young, man carrying a box of tomatoes, walking straight into her, and soon tomatoes were everywhere. Chaos broke out when people tried not to step on them, and people began to shout at each other. Hermione laughed a little at the scene, happy that she was not one of them.

Her eyes travelled to a young man with his girlfriend who both tried to avoid the tomatoes and at the same time not let go of each others hands. The girl was wearing big sunglasses that covered most of her cheeks, and bright red hair. Hermione turned her gaze to the man, and almost dropped her drink when she saw his face.

It was Harry.

She stared open mouthed at them. Even though they were quite far away, she could still make out his scar on the forehead. _Why is Harry holding hands with a girl that isn't Ev?_ Hermione couldn't believe that he and Ev had broken up, not right after they had gotten together. They had looked so perfectly happy at the party.

She tried to get a closer look at the girls face, but she was looking in the opposite direction and Hermione could only see the back of her head. _Maybe there isn't anything funny with it, after all I hold hands with Harry sometimes too. Although that's more like when he needs comfort, not going around in town._

But then something happened that told her that they were definitely more than friends. The girl stopped Harry and leaned up to kiss him, still with her head turned away from Hermione. This time she really dropped her drink. It wasn't an innocent little kiss either, they stood there for more than a minute, and Harry's hands began to travel down the girl's back before she broke off. Hermione just sat there with her no-longer-existing coffee drink, not knowing what to do. She didn't understand at all what was happening. Then, Harry and the mysterious girl continued down the street and out of Hermione's sight.

----------------------------------------

Only a week after Ginny's birthday party, Ron and Hermione threw another party to celebrate their two year wedding anniversary. They had hired a place to have the party at, because they simply didn't have room for all the guests in their tiny apartment. Harry and Ev helped them with the preparations, along with Tonks, Mrs Weasley, Alex and Simon.

As Hermione, Tonks, Alex and Harry were busy getting all the tables in order, they could hear Ron and Ev arguing in the kitchen about the meat and whether it was completely done or only half-done. The argument continued for over ten minutes, before Mrs Weasley took the matter in her own hands and simply fried the meat in her own way, no matter what Ev or Ron said.

Harry smiled when he heard the two siblings row, although Ron didn't know that Ev was his sister. Ginny didn't seem to have any problem at all falling back into the role as irritating, younger sister. When she later came out from the kitchen to give them some drinks, Harry noticed a content smile on her lips. For some reason, a little row always made Ginny's mood brighten.

Something else that also made him happy was how easy and fast Alex and Simon were accepted as member of their little group of friends. Of course Mrs Weasley remembered Simon, the boy who her little daughter had spent so many summers with, and at Hermione's and Ron's daughter's birthday she had spent over an hour talking to him. Now they were helping with the preparations, just as anybody else.

The guests arrived and Harry could finally relax and enjoy himself. Many of his old school friends who he hadn't seen for a very long time were there. He spent a lot of time talking to Hannah Abbott and Susan Bones, who both had become Healers after the war. They were having an interesting conversation about the after effects hexes could have on your mind and body, when Ginny showed up by his side. Harry realised that he hadn't seen her the last hour, apparently she felt confident enough around her old friends again that she didn't need to be with him all the time.

"Enjoying yourself?" He asked.

She nodded. "Yes, and Alex and Simon too. But Alex doesn't like Cho and Lavender, I can tell. And they probably don't like her either."

Harry laughed at the thought of the pink haired girl in a conversation with Ron's hysterical ex-girlfriend. Probably not a good combination, no.

Just as a conversation had started between the four of them, a serious looking Hermione poked him in the back.

"I need to talk to you." She said stiffly. Without waiting for a reply she turned around and walked out of the room, and out into the garden just outside the building they had hired. Frowning, Harry followed her, still with his glass of wine in his hands. He would never understand women.

Hermione turned and faced him as soon as they were out of earshot.

"Who was she?" She said directly.

Harry stared at her. What the hell was she talking about?

"Who was who?" he said confused.

"The girl you were in town with yesterday." Hermione said impatiently. Harry noticed that she looked really angry and upset. "The red-haired girl. The girl you _kissed!_"

The words dropped like a stone in Harry's stomach. Hermione had seen them.

He and Ginny had been in London the other day. Seeing as there was almost only muggles in the centre of London, Ginny hadn't bothered to change her appearance, much to Harry's delight. He had never thought that a wizard would recognize them, much less anybody he knew.

What would he do now? He looked at Hermione. She looked disappointed, but not shocked or confused. Did that mean that she hadn't recognized Ginny? After all, she would have mentioned Ginny's name if she thought it was her. And Ginny had been wearing shades that day.

When he didn't answer, Hermione spoke up again. "What I don't understand is how you can two-time Ev when she has done so much for you. It's not like you at all. You just got back together and you seem to be the happiest person alive again, and you cheat on her. It doesn't fit."

Harry sighed. At least Hermione hadn't recognized Ginny. That was good, but he knew that soon the wheels would be turning in Hermione's head and the secret would no longer be a secret.

"Look Hermione, I understand that you're upset, but I haven't cheated on Ev and I would never dream of doing it. Okay?"

"I've known you for ten years Harry. I know that it was you I saw yesterday."

"I'm not denying that. I'm just saying that I haven't cheated on Ev."

"That doesn't make sense at all, Harry." She said impatiently.

"I know." Harry answered. "One day, you will understand, I promise."

Hermione frowned. She didn't like it when she didn't understand something. It was against her nature.

Harry sighed again. "That's all I can tell you. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to go back in." With that, he left her standing there and re-entered the building.

His first thought was to tell Ev about it, but his Auror-brain told him that it was a stupid thing to do. If he immediately turned to Ev, Hermione would understand that he was telling her about their talk. And then she would realise that Ev was involved in it.

Instead, Harry talked to Dean and Seamus for a while. He only half-listened to the conversation though, and meanwhile he kept an eye on Ev who was talking to Alex and Tonks.

When he finally told her about it, she seemed to be troubled but not especially shocked.

"I understand that I can't keep the secret to myself for very much longer." She said.

"But are you really ready for your family to know then?" Harry asked.

Ginny smiled sadly at him. "I don't know."

---------------------------------------

The party went on as expected. They all sat down and ate dinner, and Ginny ended up having Cormac MacLaggan as her neighbour at the table, much to her vexation. Harry talked idly with Ginny, and Luna who was sitting to his right. It wasn't until the dessert was about to be served as things went wrong.

Just as Hermione had stood up to cut the cake, they heard two sharp pops from a corner of the room. Everyone turned their heads and saw that two men had appeared. Both of them were dressed properly in wizard robes, one quite young and the other in his sixties. Harry got the feeling that he had seen the older man somewhere.

"What is this all about?" Mr. Weasley said frustrated. "Why are you here Larry?"

As Mr. Weasley seemed to know the old man, Harry guessed that they were from the Ministry.

"I'm so sorry that I disturbed you in your party, but something has happened that you all need to know." The old man said in a thin voice. "My name is Larry Wright, and this is my assistant Daniel Fraser."

Harry recognized the old man's name, he ruled over some section in the Auror Department that dealt with old, unsolved murders.

"Two months ago, the Minister himself ordered us to do an extensive research about all the people who died during the war by unknown perpetrators. Your daughter, Ginevra Weasley, was found dead after the Final Battle, but we never knew who killed her. So, two days ago, we moved her body from her grave to an investigation room at the Auror Department…"

"You did what?!" Mrs. Weasley hissed. She was staring dangerously at the man. "We haven't been informed of anything of the sort!"

"I know, Mrs. Weasley," Wright said uneasily. "but this is strictly confidential."

"Then why are you telling us now then?" She said even more dangerously.

Wright cleared his throat. "You see, when we examined her body, we found out that it actually wasn't a body at all."

"What do you mean?" It was Hermione this time, and her voice was sharp.

"The fact is that even though it looks like a dead body, feels like it and contains the things a dead body is supposed to contain, it isn't a body. It took some simple spells, and we found out that it was created from a so called False Death-charm."

"And exactly what does that mean?" Mr Weasley asked.

"That means," Wright said slowly, "that your daughter created this body three years ago to make you think she was dead. Because you see only the person casting the spell can create a dead replica of them.

"Do you mean that…" Hermione stopped in the middle of the sentence, looking anxiously at Wright.

"Yes." He said in a low voice. "Ginevra Weasley never died in the war, she is alive."

A loud noise was heard when Mrs Weasley fell to the floor, unconscious.

---------------------

**A/N:** I like clifhangers. I know you don't. Now give me a review!


	19. Ch 18: Give Us a Reason to Fall

**A/N: **So, here it is. The last chapter. sniff It's over now. For real. Or, okay, not really, there is still an epiologue. But that one isn't written yet...hehe...

Millions of thanks to my beta, carolquin, who has made this story into what it is today. And I hope it is better now than it was in the beguinning.

****

**Chapter Eighteen: Give Us a Reason to Fall to the Ground – A Miracle!**

_Ooh, I was a lonely cloud  
I was a leaf that had to fall to the ground  
I was a coloured red by the oceanic time  
I went down, down so sublime-sublime_

_can they explain why it hurts in our brains?  
(With my landslide companion)  
Why we all yearn for some biblical disaster?  
(Rocks and Bones!)  
Me and the cannibal's voluntary prey  
(A cannibal...)  
Ain't looking for a friend, we are looking for a Master  
(Or anyone who can...)_

_Deliver us from free will  
Deliver us from free will,_

_Deliver us and free our minds from thought._

_-"Deliver Us from Free Will" by the Ark_

Hermione didn't drop the cake knife when Wright made his announcement. Actually, it took some time before she even felt surprised. She had had the feeling for very long now that there was something with Ginny's death that wasn't completely right. And here she had the answer. It wasn't until she heard a thump behind her and saw that Mrs. Weasley had passed out that she realised what all this meant.

Ginny was alive. All this time when they had been going around mourning her, she had been somewhere out there. Ginny had probably been thinking about them, wondering if they missed her. She had gotten up in the mornings just like Hermione, met friends, talked, laughed….Hermione began to feel dizzy. How could this be true?

Suddenly, anger filled Hermione. How could Ginny just leave them like that, when the times were harder than ever before? It had broken Harry. How could she have been so heartless? She had destroyed three years of Harry's life by doing it.

Hermione watched inattentively as they put Mrs. Weasley in the sofa, trying to wake her up. The young Ministry man who's name was Daniel something, slapped her cheeks and she finally woke up with a confused frown on her face.

"Go and fetch something strong to drink for your mother, will you Bill? I think it is needed…" Mr. Weasley said to his oldest son.

"What happened? Did I pass out?" Mrs. Weasley asked confused as Bill disappeared through the door.

While the rest of the Weasleys calmed down Mrs. Weasley the rest had began to talk between themselves, Hermione stood silent. While half the Weasley family and many other guests began to cry, Hermione's eyes were dry. She knew that she should feel shocked and confused, but there would be time to cry later. Right now she had to think. _Something was very, very wrong._

An excited feeling began to fill Hermione. After working as a healer for a while, she knew what the feeling meant. She knew that she now had all the facts she needed to work out the truth; it was the same feeling when a patient had gotten a new symptom that helped her localise the illness.

_Ginny pretended to die and left us. Harry was devastated for three years. Then Ev turned up from no where and made him happy again. She tells him she's a muggle, but is in fact a witch. Ev confessed to Remus that she had something to do with Ginny's death and that it will make Harry angry. They row for some unknown reason and then get back together again, but this time something is different. Then Harry turns up with a red haired girl in town, but still claims that he hasn't cheated on Ev. And during all this time, Ginny was alive._

Hermione stared at the two of them. Harry looked uncertainly at the Weasleys, who were talking loudly and trying to make some kind of sense out of the whole mess. He didn't even look surprised.

His expression made Hermione understand the first thing. _Harry already knew. He knew that Ginny was alive._

And then the second. _The red-haired girl was Ginny. _

Hermione turned her gaze to Ev. She was looking down, holding Harry's hand tightly in her lap. It wasn't until Ev looked up and looked Hermione right into the eyes that Hermione finally understood. _Ev's eyes are Ginny's eyes. _

_She __was Ginny. Ginny had been there, with them, for several months as Ev._

_Oh my_, Hermione thought.

This time, she really did drop the cake knife.

Everyone turned their heads and looked at the plate that the knife had shattered. Hermione didn't notice though, her eyes were fixed on Ev. Or Ginny. Hermione could see that Ginny knew that she knew. Then the anger welled up again when she remembered how much pain this girl had caused them.

"HOW THE HELL COULD YOU DO THIS TO US?!?" She screamed at Ginny.

-------------------------------------------------

The room fell silent in an instant. Everyone was looking at Hermione, who was looking at Ginny with a fury she had never seen in them before.

Hermione had found out. Ginny had seen the realisation in her eyes a split second before she dropped the cake knife. She knew then that that was it. It ended here. Game over. Now Ginny had no control over her life anymore, she could just hope that it went for the best.

"What should I have done?" Ginny said quietly, holding Harry's hand tighter.

Now, everyone turned their heads towards Ginny when they understood that it was her Hermione was angry with.

"What should you have done? _What should you have done?_" Hermione said heatedly as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Well, stayed and fixed the mess the War left us with, maybe??!"

Ginny smiled sadly at her. "You don't know Hermione, you don't know anything. I couldn't stay."

Hermione's eyes flared.

"What don't I know?"

"Almost everything," Ginny said sadly. She didn't know how to explain things. She didn't want to argue with her friends and family, she just wanted them back. At the same time, she knew that she deserved it, although she hadn't been able to see another way out back then. "About Tom, about Malfoy and everything else I went through while being locked in that house."

Hermione was a rational person. She never acted by impulse or did anything before she had thought about the consequences it would cause. In that sense, she was very different from both Harry and Ginny, but now Ginny was only thankful for it. Because it also meant that Hermione never would let her emotions steer her life. Even though she was probably furious with Ginny right now, she was in enough control to understand that something had happened three years ago that had really hurt Ginny. Something that made it impossible for her to stay. Concerned, Hermione lowered her shoulders bit and frowned.

"What did Malfoy do to you?" She asked: her voice was lower and softer than before, but Ginny could still make out the disappointment and anger in her voice.

Ginny gave her a sloped smile, that didn't contain any happiness, and a piercing look. Sometimes, when two people had known each other for as long as Hermione and Ginny had, that's all you need to tell your best friend that you got raped. And Hermione understood immediately. The last bit of anger in her eyes was replaced by shock and she stared at Ginny open-mouthed.

"Oh Merlin," she said quietly, almost as if she was ashamed of her earlier outburst. "I'm so sorry."

Ginny smiled at her, and the two girls looked at each other for a long time, while the others in the room, except for Harry, wondered what the hell was going on.

Ginny rose from where she was sitting, and took some hesitant steps towards her. Hermione smiled sadly, and Ginny could make out the tears in her eyes, before Hermione enveloped her in a hug.

"Oh Ginny," she said. "You're here. You're actually here."

"Yeah."

Ginny hugged Hermione back hard, fighting the tears. She was finally standing here, in her best friends arm, being forgiven. She never wanted to let go, didn't want to take care of all the explaining that needed to be done.

"Ginny?" said a hesitant voice behind her.

They broke away, and Ginny turned to her mother that was standing with one hand on the sofa. She was swaying a bit, but her gaze was firmly fixed on Ginny. Now, the tears started to fall. Her mother. That was her mother. With a sob, she threw herself in her mother's arms, not caring that she had passed out moments before.

Her mum wasn't weak though, she embraced her daughter tighter than Ginny could ever remember. The two women cried together in each others arms. Her mother's security and warmth was something that she had felt her whole life, something that she always had been able to lean on. Now Ginny was back, being hugged by the woman that had given her her life.

"Could someone tell we what's going on?"

Ginny lessened her grip and looked around. It was Ron who had spoken. He was looking at Ginny as if she was a spider, and had the usual expression on his face that he had when he didn't understand something. Ginny sighed and looked between her mother and Hermione. She guessed that she would be the one to do the explanation.

"Well…" Ginny sighed. "I don't really know how to tell you all this…"

"Do you mean that you really are Ginny?" It was Fred who had been asking. He was looking at her suspiciously.

Taking a deep breath, Ginny nodded.

At first, there was only silence, and then someone started crying, Ginny thought it was Bill, and that started a whole river of tears from everywhere. Bill walked up to her and touched her chin gently, his eyes looking at her as if she was the most precious thing he had ever seen. It made Ginny's insides break.

"Yes," he whispered gently. "You _are_ Ginny." Then he pulled her in for a hug. Sobbing into her favourite brother's shoulder, she thought that Bill had never been this emotional with her before.

Charlie came after, but he didn't say anything. He had the same look in his eyes as Bill and hugged her hard, hard with his strong arms.

Ginny felt completely bewildered, she had no idea what she was supposed to do. She had waited, longed and feared for this moment ever since she left the battle field, what to do now when she was finally here? There was so much explaining to do, most of the people here had no idea of what was happening. She could not imagine how confused they must be now. Ginny hugged Charlie tighter, holding on to him in this funny situation. All she wanted now was her family. She and Harry were fine again, but even though he was her life, it wasn't enough. A Weasley was nothing without his or her family.

"Wait a second; I'm not really getting this." Ginny turned around and stood face to face with Alex. She smiled at her best friends, thinking of how that girl had filled the hole her family had left.

"You are Ginny Weasley." Alex said and pointed at Ginny. "Who was a good friend with my boyfriend" she pointed at Simon, who was looking at Ginny with a curious and shocked look. "And together with Harry. Then you are suddenly dead. And go around pretending to be somebody else or something. And then you meet Simon again, and he doesn't know who you really are. And then you meet Harry, and he doesn't either know who you are."

Ginny smiled quietly. "Yeah, that's quite like it…"

Alex stared at her. "How the hell did you manage that? And why didn't you tell us? Didn't you trust me after all these years?"

"Of course I did. But I pretend to be dead, the less who knew the better." Ginny said. Then she continued quietly. "I guess I should explain why I did what I did."

Her mother nodded. She hadn't taken her eyes of her daughter since she had understood who she was.

Ginny looked around and spotted Harry in the same chair as before. He smiled in encouragement, and Ginny smiled back and walked over to him. He took her hand in his as she sat down, for which she was grateful. She needed his support right now.

Ginny cleared her throat, knowing that it was no or never.

"Well," she stared shakily. "it begun during the year we were at war, and we had moved the Order's headquarters to Blue Hill's Farm. I had to spend all my day there, as Harry, Ron and Hermione were out doing something that nobody told me anything about…"

Thinking back on it later in her life, Ginny thought it was one of the hardest things she had ever done. It was one thing with Harry, he was one person, but here she sat in front of all her friends and family, the people she loved the most, and told them why she had turned her back on them. That their love hadn't been able to help her. Ginny knew how much this must hurt them; she knew that it only gave them even more pain. But she did it for them, because one day, it would give them more happiness than pain.

Most of them probably didn't believe her at first. Thought it was some kind of joke, because when she changed her appearance back to the one she was given as a baby, several people gasped. She noticed that Simon for the first time seemed to fully understand that he had never lost his old playmate.

She couldn't remember crying so much, the tears never stopped. Her story was probably quite incoherent, but it didn't matter. It was the truth. And Ginny told them everything, even about the rape. During the three years she had been gone, she had matured very much. She had been barley seventeen when she left, now soon twenty. Ginny knew now that there wasn't any time for any more mistakes. She gave them everything and they could choose which whey they would take it. This was the way she was, she couldn't change it.

But even though she had learned to know the world and herself, she was grateful that Harry held her hand while she explained. Their little vacation on the island had made her sure of their relationship. Ginny wouldn't leave him, he wouldn't leave her. If they had survived this, then they could survive almost everything.

----------------------------

"That bloody bastard!" Bill exclaimed when Ginny told them about Malfoy's rape. He jumped out of his chair and looked at Ginny with big eyes. She looked uncertain for a minute, but then she fixed her stare on Bill.

"Why didn't you tell us?" He said. "We could have helped you?!"

"I know Bill, I know. But I felt so ashamed of myself right then, not only because of Malfoy, Tom had hurt me much too." Ginny said. She was looking more determined than she had done during the whole evening. "And I don't want you to seek up Malfoy and beat the shite out of him; I want to take care of him myself."

Bill looked at her sceptically.

"Can you promise me that?" Ginny forced.

Finally, Bill nodded and sat down again.

"I don't want anyone to mess with my life." Ginny continued. "I messed it up myself, so I'm going to fix the mess myself too."

The room fell silent as they watched a determined Ginny in front of them. Harry felt a sting of happiness that Ginny had found a strength to tell her family and friends all this.

Then Mrs. Weasley stood from her chair and once again enveloped her daughter in a hug.

"You must never think that this was your fault, what happened. You didn't mess anything up." She said.

Ginny hugged her mum back. "Yes mum, I did." She said gently. "I can't answer for what Malfoy, Tom and others did to me, but I can answer for what I did myself. I turned my back on the people I loved the most; there is no excuse to that. I still don't know today how I would have coped if I had stayed, but it was completely my own choice to leave. You must not think that I was innocent, mum."

Mrs. Weasley let a sob escape her lips. "If I knew Ginny, if I only knew…"

She let go of her daughter and dried her tears. "It doesn't matter, love. What happened in the past is not relevant, we love you even so. Everyone can make mistakes."

"I love you too, mum. Have always done." Ginny whispered before she threw herself in her mother's arms again. After that, everyone walked up to Ginny to talk and to hug her. Ginny began crying again as she hugged her father, and she looked bewildered as she went from arm to arm, finally looking in her best friend's faces again as her real self. Harry could only imagine what she was feeling, but he knew that she was happy. He could almost feel it.

The man from the Ministry looked confused about what had happened, but that was of course, quite natural. He had come to tell a family that their daughter was alive, and there she sat in the middle of everyone. Harry watched quietly as the people around the room tried to talk to Ginny. He understood that the newspapers would become crazy when they heard about the story, but that was a later matter.

Hermione loosened herself from the mob around Ginny, and came to sit down beside Harry on the couch. She still looked shocked, and tired, but happy. She smiled at him.

"Sorry for destroying your party." Harry mumbled.

"Huh?" Hermione looked confused for a while and then she laughed quietly. "Don't think about it. I think this is the best anniversary gift you could give me."

They fell quiet, watching the others.

"So, what happened when you found out then?" Hermione asked finally. She had been wondering about that, he could tell.

"I was angry. Furious. But I was probably ready to forgive her and move on, but she didn't want to give me any time. Guess she wanted to know for sure what would happen with us, after three years. I told her I couldn't decide that then, and she left."

"And then you decided to give it a try even so?" Hermione asked carefully.

"Kind of." Harry sighed. "It's quite complicated. I don't want to talk about that now, Hermione."

She nodded and rose from her chair.

"I believe that it's time for that dessert now. After that shock, I need something sweet."

With that, she walked away to cut the cake that never had been cut.

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Seamus was just telling her how he and Lavender finally found each other, when Ginny spotted Ron out in the garden through the window. He was all alone and was staring at some point far away. She frowned, Ron was not usually the moody type. Of course, he had probably changed too.

Ginny excused herself and placed her glass of wine on a nearby table, before going through the French doors into the chilly night. Ron was standing with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders rather were slumped. He didn't hear her coming.

"Ron?" She asked quietly.

He looked around, and for a moment he looked at her with a gaze that didn't recognize her. Then he relaxed.

"It will take some time before I get used to seeing you again. And hearing you." He said. But then he smiled one of his typical no-problem-in-the-world-smiles, and Ginny felt a bit easier.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just needed some time to think, that's all." He said reassuringly.

A comfortable silence fell over them, and Ginny walked up to stand beside him, looking at the sky. The sun had set now, but the last red rays still clung to the sky like a child to its mother. Ginny was so absorbed, looking at the sky, that it took some seconds before she realised that Ron had spoken.

"I'll never forget the day when Harry came with you."

"Came with me?" she asked.

"When he came carrying your body to the hospital tents." Ron mumbled, looking down into the ground. Ginny didn't say anything, when Ron finally spoke about something it was better to just let him speak.

"Harry should have been in his bed. It was three days after the Battle. But he had sneaked out sometime during the morning. We all knew that he was looking for you, so we didn't bother to go looking for him. We were all really concerned that you had disappeared, and we knew that if someone could find you then it was Harry. And then, sometime in the afternoon, it started to rain heavily. Just like that, the sky had been absolutely clear before. Later, we understood that it was Harry's work."

"About an hour later, I stood in the opening to one of the tents, talking to Hermione. I was standing with my back to the ground outside, and suddenly Hermione went completely pale. When I asked what was wrong, she didn't answer. She just looked behind me. So I turned around."

Ron paused for a bit, looking up at the sky, still not meeting her eyes. Ginny stood absolutely still, not sure if she wanted to hear this or not. But she knew that she had to.

"I- I'll never forget…the look on Harry's face. It was the first thing I saw. He was more then grieving…he was completely destroyed. And then I noticed that he was carrying you…and you didn't move."

"There was no reason to ask if you were dead or not. The look on Harry's face was enough. It was as if the whole world just fell down…Ginny. I didn't think that it could happen. I didn't believe that you could die."

Ginny had cried much today, and the tears finally seemed to have come to and end. But her feelings were still in a mess. She didn't know what to say, so she just reached up and hugged him.

Ron had always been the brother she was closest to. Hugging him again, and being hugged by him, was the thing she would remember clearest from that night. She knew he loved her; he didn't need to say it. And Ginny wasn't going to destroy the feeling by choking out sentimental words of love. They didn't need that. Ginny only held onto him for dear life, knowing that things actually would work out sooner or later.

-------------------------------------

"Hey Harry, have you seen Ginny? I still haven't had the chance to talk to her properly." It was Colin Creevy who was asking. Harry still hadn't left his place at the couch.

"She's out in the garden with Ron. But I don't think that you should disturb them." Harry said idly.

Colin put up a disappointed face and walked away. It wasn't until afterwards, that Harry realised that he hadn't seen Ginny nor Ron step out into the garden. He just _knew_ somehow that she was out there, and that she was talking to Ron. And, that whatever they talked about, made her feelings spin.

A content, safe feeling filled him. Harry realised that some of the connection they had once shared, was back again. He smiled to himself where he sat, happy to have his life back the way he wanted it. He could feel Ginny moving from the garden into the room, and soon he saw her walking towards him. The smile on her face told him that she felt it too. They were back where they should be.

"Hey." She said as she sat down beside him. Harry reached out his left arm and pulled her towards him. Ginny leaned her head against his shoulder and sighed. She was tired.

"I'm glad to have you back, Ginny." He mumbled in her hair.

"I've been back for two weeks to you." She said.

"No." Harry shook his head, stroking her hair. "It's not until now that you are truly Ginny again."

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**A/N: **So? What should you do now then, when it's all over? I have a few suggestions. 1) Leave a review. 2) Read my next story, _What's Left of Us_. I don't know when I will begin posting, but look out for it!

Thanks to all of my reviewers, you've become like friends to me.

/Lina


	20. Epilogue: We Cry For a New Beginning

**A/N: **So, this is it. The end of the world. Armageddon. Things will never, ever be the same again...

...Okay. I'm kidding. But it IS the end to this story. I hope you all have enjoyed it. I certainly have. And I can say it now so you don't need to ask later, I have not planned on making a sequel to this story, BUT I have already started writing a totally different and (hopefully) much better story. I do hope you read it. :D

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed. It means the world. Really. There is no reason writing if nobody reads it.

And of course, many big hugs and thanks to my beta, carolquin. She has helped me improve this story a great deal. Bless her.

Now read and don't forget the review!

**Epilogue: We Cry For a New Beginning**

_Three months later…_

Harry was standing calmly against the kitchen sink in his apartment, sipping his morning coffee and silently watching his girlfriend Ginny Weasley running around, only wearing a black top and her underwear.

"Have you seen my pink skirt, Harry? You know the one Alex gave me?" Ginny said; her head inside a drawer.

"You were wearing it last night." Harry said.

"I know I wore it last night. But where is it _now_?" Ginny huffed irritably.

"I haven't seen it."

Ginny's head came out of the drawer.

"Why can't you remember where you put my clothes, Harry?" She exclaimed. "Every morning after we've had some fun, my clothes are gone from this planet!"

Harry grinned. "When I'm in that kind of mood I don't really think where I put your clothes."

"You'll have to!"

"Do you want me to write it down on small notes?" Harry asked, finishing his coffee.

"If it continues at this rate, yes!" Ginny said, and dove down into another drawer.

Harry chuckled slightly, and continued to watch her. She was beautiful. Even though her hair wasn't brushed and she was half-naked. The half-hysteria Ginny every morning had turned into a comforting piece in his life that he didn't want to loose. Ginny was so predictable, at least to him, and that thought made him feel secure and at home. There was nothing more he wanted. Three years apart hade made him sure of that. He never wanted to be without her again.

He had thought that many times, but it was firstly now that he realised which next step that was right to take. The question blurted out of his mouth before he knew it.

"Do you want to marry me?" The second he had said it, he knew that is was right. It was the only thing he wanted.

Ginny continued to rummage through the drawer. "Of course darling" she said idly.

Then she suddenly stopped and turned around and faced him. The shock spread over her face when she realised what he had asked.

"What did you just say?" She asked slowly.

"I asked you to marry me." Harry replied calmly.

Ginny stared at him, her mouth half open. After some seconds, she seemed to find her voice.

"You're proposing to me."

"Yes."

"I'm standing here, without a skirt, late for my hearing, without any make-up and I haven't had any coffee today, and you are proposing to me?" She repeated.

Harry began to see the absurdity in the situation. "Yes."

Ginny's face relaxed and gave him a half-smile. "Why can't you ever do things like normal people, Harry?" She asked with a sigh.

"What do you mean?" Harry replied half-angrily.

"A normal guy would ask me out to dinner, be very secretive and nervous, so that the girl can have a chance to think out a proper answer." Ginny explained patiently.

Harry shrugged. "I wasn't exactly planning it."

"Do you even have a ring?" Ginny asked.

Harry opened his mouth to say "no", but then he stopped. "I do, actually." He walked into the sitting room and opened a drawer. There lay his mothers engagement ring, a gold band with and emerald stone in the middle. When Remus had given it to him while the war was still raging, Harry had thought it would have fit perfectly on Ginny's finger. When he thought she had died, he couldn't stand looking at it, being reminded of all his plans with her. Now, he was ready to give it to her. He returned to the kitchen with the ring, where Ginny still stood skirt-less, with a rather bewildered expression on her face.

"Look!" He said, holding up the ring like a proud boy.

Ginny looked at it. "It's very beautiful." She said. "But I really must find my skirt."

She kissed him on the cheek, and turned to walk out of the kitchen. When she was in the doorway, Harry called her back.

"You never answered my question."

"What question." Ginny asked, slightly annoyed with being kept from her skirt-searching.

"If you wanted to marry me."

"Oh." Ginny was quiet for a while.

Then she smiled softly.

"Why, yes of course."

And with that she walked back into the bedroom.

--------------------------------------------

It was good day, Ginny Weasley decided. Even though she had missed her morning coffee, she had at least found her skirt on top of a shelf and become engaged to Harry. The latest part had been quite a surprise, but a nice one. She hadn't really hesitated to say yes, who else could she marry? And she and Harry couldn't be girlfriend and boyfriend forever. Calling Harry her fiancé was a nice change, she liked the sound of it. Her fiancé; Ginny let the words slip on her tongue, she liked them.

And of course, there was another reason for this day being so good. Today was the time of the trial. For the last months, Ginny had feared this moment when she would stand face to face with Draco Malfoy again. But for some reason, all her nervousness was gone now. She wanted justice to be done.

Harry had suggested that he would simply go and beat Malfoy up or something, but Ginny had refused. If she had been a man, she would probably think that that was a good punishment. But well, the thing was that Ginny wasn't a man, and wanted to do things a bit differently. Giving him a punch wasn't enough, no, Malfoy was going to be pushed down into the mud and _stay_ there. That's what he deserved. So she had reported that she had been raped by Draco Malfoy on the day of the Final Battle.

It had caused chaos in the wizarding world. Her identity had still been a secret to the wizarding world at that time, and she had simply walked into the Auror Department, telling them her name and why she was there. The media had immediately hooked up on the story. Ginny Weasley returns from the dead and accuses Draco Malfoy, who was a big ministry man, for rape. It didn't help that she was the mysterious Evelyn Flynn and was girlfriend to the Boy Who Lived. No, the last months had been eventful. But now Ginny could finally see and end to it all.

She was positive that Malfoy wouldn't be able to get away with it. Ginny had taken V_eritaserum_ to prove that she was right, and it was only the official trial left. He would be sentenced to Azkaban for some years. But the big thing wasn't the prison years, no. Ginny had done some research and found out that the marriage between Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson was based on more than love. In fact, it probably wasn't based on love at all. The war had left the Malfoy's at the bottom, nearly all their fortune had been used by Voldemort for different needs. The Parkinsons was a family on their way up in the world; they had earned a lot of money the last century. But you needed more than money to be someone to count in the dark side of the wizarding world. The Parkinsons simply had no status, while the Malfoys had loads, seeing as they had been good friends with Voldemort and all. So, the Malfoys and the Parkinsons realised that a marriage between Pansy and Draco would solve both their problems. So, probably against their will, or at least against Draco's will, they married a year after the War had ended.

The problem here for Malfoy was that he was married to a very proud wife. Hearing that her husband had raped another girl, a blood-traitor, a Weasley, while they were engaged had made her furious, just as Ginny thought it would. Pansy simply didn't want to be married to him anymore, and there were already rumours flying around that she had gotten a divorce, but no one knew for sure. But Ginny was sure that it would happen soon, anyway. So when Malfoy was released from Azkaban in a couple of years, he wouldn't have any money left and barley any friends either. What would he do? Ginny had no idea, and couldn't care less. Malfoy wouldn't have an easy life from now on.

Hand in hand with Harry, they were walking down the corridor in the Ministry where she and the rest of their friends had been running some years ago, to rescue Sirius. Now she was here to claim justice. Ginny could already see all the reporters outside the room where the hearing would be held. They wouldn't be aloud into the court room later.

A reporter spotted them, and immediately ran up to her, a lot of them following. The flashes from the cameras were blinding, but Ginny had gotten used to them by now.

"How are you feeling today, Miss Weasley?" One of them asked.

"Are you scared to meet Mr. Malfoy once again?" Another one said.

"You still haven't told us why you pretended to die three years ago!" A third one shot in.

Ginny motioned with her hand to make them stop. None of them noticed the ring on her finger, which pleased her. She and Harry had decided to keep it a secret for a while.

"I'm just saying one thing;" Ginny begun. "this is one of the most important days in my life and I'm not going to spoil it by dwelling about the past."

She began to walk, the reporters following her. She could spot the door a few meters away, and clutching Harry's hand, she squeezed herself through it. She breathed out when they had no nosey reporters around them. It was funny, though, that the attention was on her and not Harry.

"Good luck." Harry whispered, and then he let go of her hand, sitting down with the rest of the audience. Ginny smiled at him.

There was a seat in the middle for the perpetrator, and another one face to face with the first once, against the wall. The plaintiff's seat. Her seat. Ginny breathed slowly and began to walk towards her seat. Ginny didn't like to be in the victim's role. Ginny didn't like it at all. She was a strong girl, not the type that needed to be saved.

She sat down and looked around. Her whole family was there, smiling at her. So were Luna and Neville, Hermione, Alex and Simon, Seamus Finnegan and Dean Thomas and Lavender and Padma. And Romain. Seeing as he was such a good friend of hers, she had decided to tell him the whole story. It had sure shocked him, but he had been fine with it. He was now sitting beside Dean, chatting and laughing with him. Dean looked as if he enjoyed himself, but sometimes got a bit red on the cheeks. He didn't seem to be offended though, more flattered. Ginny frowned. Was there something going on with her gay friend and her ex-boyfriend that they hadn't told her about? She made a mental note to ask Romain about it later.

Then the door which she had come through opened, and Malfoy was led in by two Aurors. Ginny was glad that they weren't dementors. She couldn't stand them. Malfoy looked torn and tired. His face was even more pale then usual. He gave her the usual sneer when he sat down opposite her, the two Aurors standing beside him. Ginny just smiled back at him.

A man beside her cleared her voice and began to speak:

"We are here to hold a trial against Draco Malicius Malfoy, who is accused of rape on plaintiff Ginevra Molly Weasley on the 30th of May 1998…" The man's voice trailed away as Ginny looked at Malfoy. She didn't feel any fear or disgust when looking at him, just pity. The times had changed, now she was the one in control. It had taken her three years, but now she was finally in control of her life again. And that was exactly that way she wanted to have it.

**A/N:** I don't know if it was at this site, but there was a girl who said that she didn't want the epilogue to be the usual stuff where they get a lot of children. Well, I certainly hope I didn't let you down. In my opinion, Harry's proposol wasn't very normal. I hope you think so too.

Now, please, for old times sake, leave me a review! Even if you have never left a review before, it would make me so happy if I got loads of reviews on the last chapter!

Goodbye,

Lina


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